What the feck!

Heya!

Hope y'all are doing good and enjoyin your life! Well I know one who isn't but I don't give a damn about her. Especially not after what that BITCH did! I can't believe she yelled at Zara after and telling her all sorts of stuff. I will never forgive her for that and I will never ever say a good word about her ever again. So therefor this is the last time in this inlay that I'm even going to mention her, unless I'm angry and she has done something bitchy again like what she did to both mum, Zara and Jensen.

When I woke up this morning I had been dreaming of my beautiful girlfriend and for a second I tought I was sleeping in her arms so I stroke my hand over the chest I was sleeping on and noticed that two things were missing and that's when I realized that I was resting my head on Jensens chest. He murmured and turned his head and rested it against mine and I just smiled and closed my eyes and treid to go back to sleep just fora while longer. So the next time I woke up I looked up at Jensen and he had a smile on his face and said "Morning.". I smiled and siad "Morning to you too.", he pushed the covers lower down on him and said "damn it's hot in here!". I just laughed and said "I'm not even going to comment on that!". He laughed and said "Thank you! but you are like a fireplace!". I smiled and said "I know I'm hot.", he laughed and said "You just couldn't stop yourself could you?". I grinned and said "Nah, but yeah I agree it is warm in here.". I slowly got out of the warm and comfy bed just to walk over to the window and pulled the curtains away. The sun was shining straight at me and I quickly looked away from the brightness. I looked over at the bed where Jensen laid and said "This might be one reason to the heat.". He nodded and said "wonder how warm it is outside... maybe we should go out running?". I smiled and said "Yes please! I need to move my body in one way or the other.". He laughed and raised his eyebrows and said "you know you could have walked straight into that one.". I laughed and said "Yeah I could have.",then I noticed that Jensen looked at the crib and I walked over to Dennies crib and looked into her eyes. She smiled and made a happy sound and I carefully picked her up and said "I think your daddy misses you, let's go to him.". I walked over to Jensen who sat up and held out his arms and said "Should I take her?". I shook my head and sat down next to him, he smiled and stroke Dennies head and said "Good morning beautiful.". She laughed and reached for his finger which he let her take and I just smiled because it was actually pretty cute. All of the sudden there was a knock on the door and Jensen said come in and Donna opened the door. She smiled when she saw that we were up and came in. She said "Good morning.", I smiled and said "good morning Donna." and Jensen got up, kissed her cheek and said "Morning mum.". I smiled and then she said "Shoudl i take Dennie so that you guys can take a shower and get dressed?". We nodded and I handed Dennie over to her grandmother and then they left. I looked at Jensen and siad "You want to shower first?". He shook his head and said "Ladies first.", I smiled and walked pass him, as I did that I sqeezed his arm and said "You're so sweet.". He just smiled and went back to the bed and laid down and I went and got some clean underwear.

It was really nice to take a shower because it had been so warm in the room and in the bed so I felt all sticky and icky but after a nice shower I felt new and fresh again. I put on my underwear and walked out with a towel around my hair and I looked at Jensen and saw him look at me and then quickly look away. I just laughed and said "What are you doing?", he said "Get dressed Madde!", I laughed even more and went to the wardrobe and got a pair of jeans shorts and a grey top which said "Guns N' Roses" on it. Not that I'm a huge Guns N' Roses fan but because I like the style of the top. When I turned back Jensen was already gone and I heard the shower running. I smiled to myself and inspected myself in the mirror for top to toe. I was pleased with my look and went downstairs to Donna and Alan in the kitchen. They had already everything on the table so I just sat down and began to make a sandwich and a cup of coffee. Alan nodded at my outfit and said "So you thinks it warm outside?". I nodded with a piece of bread in my mouth and said "How hot is it?". Alan looked like a questionmark and so did Donna and I swallowed and said "I'm sorry, how hot is it outside?". They laughed and Alan said "about 71 degrees.", now it was my turn to look and feel like a questionmark and then I heard Jensens deep voice say "it's about 22 degrees celsius.". I smiled at him and said "Thank you!" looked back at Alan and said "You have to say it in Celsius becuase I have no idea about Farenheit!". They laughed and I just shook my head and said in swedish to Dennie "Your grandparants are a bit wierd.". Then I felt a hand on my shoulder and Jensens cheek against my ear and he said "Don't talk bad about my parents.". I smiled and looked at him and said "I didn't! I was just kidding, you know that.". He patted my shoulder and said "Yeah I know Madde, I know.". I just smiled and watched hin take a seat next to me and dig in on the food. Donna asked what we were going to do today and Jensen said "First and formost we are going out runni..." then it kind of trailed off and he looked at me and said "Why did we take a shower?". I just shook my head and laughed and said "We are doing the same thing that Jared does and that I always complain about.". He lauhged and said "Yeah! But our defence if that we only done it once and that we were almost sleeping.". I laughed and nodded in agreement. Donna and Alan just shook thier heads and donna said "so you are going ut running?". Jensen nodded and said "Yeah and then I was thinking that we should go and spend some time with Josh and Michelle.". I smiled and said that it sounded like a brilliant idea. We continued eating and when I was done I excused myself and went outside to the pool and sat down on it's side with my feet in the water. I picked up my phone and rang home. After a few tones Zara picked up and I said "Hey honey.", I could almost hear the smile on her lips when she heard my voice and she said "Hi baby!". I smiled and said "How are you?", she said "I'm good. I miss you though.. so much!". I looked down on my feet in the water and said "I miss you too honey. And I'm so so so sorry!". She didn't say anything for a while but then she broke the silence and said "For what?". I could hear the fear in her voice so I quickly said "No! no honey! I haven't done anything! I swear! I just meant for you fucking mother... I read toves inlay and she wrote what you had told her.". She let out a sigh of relief and said "Thank god. And about mum.. don't worry. Im okay.". I have to say that I felt a bit hurt and said "You really thought that I had done something? Good. I just wish I was home and could talk to you face to face.". She said "No baby, I didn't mean... I'm sorry... I wish you were here too.". I nodded and said "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get hurt. I understand, it's okay. So what are you up to then?". She said "Good.. Well Nicky is actually cooking dinner right now so that is what I'm waiting for. But you know what, I can cook alittle if you want to talk to him.". I smiled and said "okay, you can do that in a while. First i want to talk to you for a while longer.". So we talked for like 20 more minutes and then she gave the phone to Nicky who said "Hey beautiful.". I just smiled and said "Hey handsome." while I got up and walked to one of the sunchairs and laid down. He said "So how are you doing over there in the united states of america?". I said "I'm doing very well thank you. Lying here in the sun and enjoying the warmth and the birds songs.". He said "Okay now I'm seriously jealous of you! How warm is it there?". I smiled and said "It's about 22 degrees but it feels like it's warmer. Jensen and I are soon going out running.". He said "Oh good for you then! Sound pretty good, would like to be there myself.". I laughed and said "Yeah it is good for me. I can understand that.". He siad "You deserve it.", I smiled and said "Thank you Nicky. Hey, do you have any gossip to tell me?". He said "I sure do... hang on.", I could hear him walk to another room and then he siad "I went and got Zara this morning at Tove and Jensens appartment and just as we were about to walk out of their flat there was a knock on the door and a blonde man walked in.. His name was Linus and Tove said that he was a friend... Don't know if I believe her though.". While he had been talking I had gotten so angry that I had to sit up and I said "What!? I knew it! She's cheating! That Bitch!". He said "You know, it wouldn't surprice me.". I shook my head and felt so sad at the same time as I was soooooo angry and I said "I can't believe she would do this to Jensen... What am I suppose to do Nicky? Should I tell him? I doubt that he would believe me... he would want Tove to tell him.". Nicky sighed and said in a low voice "I don't know what you should do but maybe you should give tove today and if she haven't told him you'll do it. He needs to know.". I sighed and said "Fine I'll give her today and if she hasn't told him by the end of the day I will do it.". He said "Sounds good sweetie. Look, I have to go... I'll talk to you later. Love you hun.". I stood up and said "okay, yeah talk to you later. Love you too Nico. Bye.". He said goodbye and we hung up and I went back to the kitchen. I before I stepped into the room though I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face and said to Jensen "So are we goin out running some time today?". He smiled and got up from the table and said "Yeah but are you going to run in that? cuz I'm not going to run in this for sure.". I looked down on my clothes and sighed and said "No, I should change.". He nodded and put an arm around my shoulders and lead me to our bedroom. He took his t-shirt off and threw it on the bed and went to the closet and tried to find something else to wear. I went and got my running-shorts and a red slim top. I began pulling my shorts off and stepped out of them as Jensen turned around and just as fast he turned back and said "Sorry!". i shook my head and laughed and said "Jensen Ackles why do you apologize?". He said "because I thought you had already changed clothes but now you are just standing in your knickers.". I sighed and walked over to him and stopped infront of him and said "Exactly, I still have clothes on! so you mean that you would apologize and not looked at me if I was wearing a bikini?". He looked a bit uncomfortable and said "No I wouldn't.". I said "there you go, so this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm in my underwear is it?". He sighed and finally looked at me and said "It just feels wrong...", I looked into his green eyes and said "Because I'm not tove?", he shrugged and said "I don't know... I should be used to you walking around in your underwear and... well I'm basicly sleeping next to you in you underwear, well knickers and top but still.". I just gave him a small smile and said "It's okay jensen, don't worry about it.". A wry smile spread across his lips and he said "Okay. So can you get dressed so we can go out running?". I laughingly hit his arm playfully and went to the closet and put om my clothes and turned to him and said "Let's go!". He looked at me from top to toe and said "You really going to wear that?". I felt really confused and said "Yeah... why?", he said "Everybody's going to be looking at you.". I laughed and said "And since when have I been afraid of that?", I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulder and said "I'm not tove, I'm happy with the way I look and I don't care what other people think.". He smiled and suddenly gave me a hug and said "That's good, you shouldn't care either but you already know that everyone thinks you are beautiful.". I smiled and hugged him back and then I took his hand and dragged him to the front door and we put our shoes on and went out running.

It was so nice to be out running and to see the town that way was brilliant. Jensen pointed to different buildings and things and told me about them and it was really nice. I got to know a whole other part of Jensen and I can tell that he feels so at home here. When we were on our way back after running for about an hour we heard a mans voice call out "Jensen!" and we both stopped dead in our tracks. We turned around and saw a man with short brown hair, a red flannel shirt, a pair of worn out blue jeans and some boots. Jensen had a big smile on his face and yelled "Ray!". We ran over the road and jensen gave ray a big hug and then ray looked at me and said "Damn Jensen! Good job!". I just laughed and held out my hand which he shook and I said "I'm Madde, Jensens good friend.". He looked a bit surprised and looked at Jensen who just nodded and then he said "Of course, Jensen could never get a woman like you.". I just smiled and Jensen just shook his head and said "what the hell is that supposed to mean? Like you could, still single right?". Ray gave Jensen an evil look and hit is arm and said "Whatever!", I just shook my head and said "So I suppose you are pretty good friends?". Jensen said "We actually went to school together, we were in the same baseball team.". Ray nodded in agreement but added "Yeah and Jensen was horrible at it!". We both laughed and Jensen laughed too and said "Yeah like you were so much better! All you did was look at the girls.". Ray laughed even harder and said "Yeah and I scored more than you did!". I laughed and looked at Jensen who replied "Yeah but not on the field.". I laughed and just had to point in "Yeah but who cares about the field Jensen?". Ray looked at me with eyes filled with surprise, like and astonishment and said "Yeah! exactly!". I laughed and Jensen said "Yeah Ray, Madde is not afraid to speak her mind. She is a bit like you in a way, just way better looking.". I laughed and Ray said "I actually have to agree with you there. And now she looks damn fine, all sweaty and hot.". I just gave him a cheeky smile and Jensen said "Ray behave!". I said "It's okay, He's not the first one who's ever said stuff like that to me but I'm sorry, I'm taken.". He didn't look surprised at all and just said "Yeah so? Is he here or what?". I shook my head and said "No she isn't, she's at home in sweden.". Now I can tell you that he looked surprised and said "She?!", I nodded and said "Yeah, do you have a problem with that?". His eyes where HUGE and he slowly shook his head and I saw in the corner of my eye Jensen who was smiling and shaking his head and then Ray said "You're a lesbian?". I said "No I'm not.", and now he turned from surprised to really confused and he said "But you just said...", and then Jensen laughed and said "Oh come on Madde, don't be so mean to him.". I just laughed and Ray looked at Jensen with pleading eyes and Jensen said "Yes Madde has a girlfriend but according to them they are not gay, they are completley straight. I know it's hard to keep up but try at least.". He still looked confused and looked from Jensen to me and said "Oh...". I laughed and patted his shoulder and said "Sorry for making you confused.". He just shook his head and said that it was okay and then we started to talk about some other stuff but it didn't take long until Jensens phone rang and Donna asked where we had gone off to so we said goodbye to Ray and ran home again.

When we got through the doors Donna said "Did you guys say that you were going to Josh and Michelle later?". Jensen nodded while untying his shoes and Donna said "Can you please give this to Michelle then?". I looked at the envelope she was holding out and I took it and said "Yeah of course. We just have to take a shower and then we will be off. Do you want us to take Dennie or do you want to babysit her?". Jensen looked at me quite shocked but then he smiled and Donna said "We can take her, I want to spend as much time with her as I can.". I smiled and nodded and then Donna left and suddenly I felt a quick peck on my cheek and Jensen said "Thank you.". I just smiled shyly and said "No problem... Do you want to shower first or should I?". He said "You can go first if you like.". I nodded and took a quick shower and then while Jensen showered I put on my Guns N' Roses top and shorts and put my hair up in a ponytail and put my a pair of red rose earrings in my ears. After just 5 minutes Jensen came out and put on his clothes and then looked at me and said "You look lovely.". I smiled and said "Thank you Jensen.". He nodded and said "It's not ofter you have your hair back... It's really look amazing in it, your face kind of pops...". I smiled and said "Thank you. I don't really like haveing my hair in a ponytail but I just felt like it today.". He nodded and said again "well, you look beautiful anyway.". I nodded and then I said "Shall we go?", he nodded and we went downstairs and put our shoes on and took the envelope and walked over to Josh and Michelle.

We just walked in and met Simon in the hallway, he gave us a hug at once and then yelled for his parents who came over and gave us a hug as well and I handed michelle then envelpoe and said "Donna asked me to give this to you.". She took it with a big smile on her face and said "Finally!!", I looked at her confused and then at Jensen who looked just as I felt and I said "What is it?". She walked into the kitchen and we followed her and she slowly opened the envelope and said "It's a recipe on a cake that I absolutley love!!!". I said "You get this happy for a recipe?", she looked at me and said "It's not just any recipe! It's been in the Ackles family for like years!". I looked at Jensen who just gave me a "I have no idea" look and I looked back at Michelle and nodded and said "I see... Well.. that's grand. Congratulations or something...". She smiled and began to read the piece of paper at once and Josh just told me and jensen to follow him to the livingroom which we did and he said "She's wanted that recipe since mum made that cake like 3 years ago or something.". I shook my head and said "I still don't understand how she can get that happy.". jensen laughed and said "I don't think anyone understands that.". We laughed and continued to talk for a good few hours, of course Michelle joined us after a while and we had a great time. But it was closing in on dinner time so it was time for Jensen and I to head home, we said goodbye and went on home.

When we got there Donna had just finished with the food so we just sat down at the table and ate. It was so delicious and I have to say that it is really nice with a small family like this, just four people. It's like more cozy than our dinners at home and not so much noice, I can really get used to this. Anyway after dinner we all sat down in the sofa and watched a movie until Jensens phone began to ring and he answered and excused himself and went to his bedroom to take the call... I knew at once that it was that bitch Tove. When about an hour had gone by I was really starting to worry and I also excused myself and followed him. I heard through the door that he was sobbing so I quickly opened the door and saw him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands crying. I ran over to him and removed his hands, pulled him to his feet and hugged him. I felt so fucking sorry for him and my heart just broke into so many pieces for him. After a while I looked at him and stroke his wet cheek and said "I'm so sorry!". He sobbed and said "She's cheating...". I nodded and said "I'm sorry.... I'm so sorry.", He sat down on the bed again and I sat down next to him and he said witha low voice "She met him at a club a few weeks ago... His name is linus and they have been spending a lot of time togther...". I just got more and more angry but had to keep it inside and try to be there for Jensen instead so I took his hand and said "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say Jensen... You should try to get some sleep...". He nodded slowly and looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "What have I done?". I must have looked really confused beucase he said "What have I done to deserve this time and time again?". I felt tears burn like fire in my eyes and I said "Nothing Jensen, nothing. You are the most amazing man out there and Tove is stupid for not seeing that. She doesn't deserve you. You deserve so so much better than her.". He just looked sad and then laid down and I laid down next to him and pulled the covers over us and I held him while he tried to fall asleep. After about 3 or 4 hours he finally fell asleep and I kissed his forehead and carefully got out of bed and took the computer with me and went to the kitchen and sat down. Donna and Alan had already gone to bed and then whole house was silent. I picked up my phone and called my dear dear friend. After just a few tones Shane picked up and said "Madde?". I smiled when I heard his voice and said "Hi Shay!". It sounded like he had a big smile on his face and he said "Hey! How are you?". I couldn't help but smile because he sounded so happy and I said "I'm okay. How are you?". He said "Just okay? I'm grand.", I said "Yeah... I'm in Dallas with Jensen... Tove just called him and told him that she is cheating on his with a guy named linus...". He draw breath and said "Oh my god! Poor jensen! How could she do that?". I shrugged and said "I don't know. He's totally broken down, I finally got him to sleep but that took a great while. How could she do that to him?". He sighed and said "God poor guy... I can understand that, it most be horrible. She's a fool!". I nodded and said "It's so hard Shane... I don't know what to say to him...". He said "Sweetie... Just be there for him and you'll see,he'll come around. It will mean a lot that you are there for him.". I nodded and said "Yeah I know and I'm always here for him. I just wish that I had someone here that I could talk to... like you... some who's that close to me.". He siad "Well you know that you can call me when ever you like, day and night. I'm always here for you honey. And so is Nicky and Jared as well I bet and of course your girlfriend.". I nodded and said "Yeah I know babe. I miss you Shane.". He siad "I miss you too love.", I looked at the clock and noticed that it was pretty late so I said "I have to and get some sleep now.. I love you Shane, take care. Goodnight. Byebye.". He said "You do that. I love you too, so much. Take care and give Jensen a hug from me. Night love. Bye.", and then we hung up and I began to blog and here i am now but I have to go back to jensen now and try not to wake him up.

Tomorrow I really hope that fucking skank have something good to say! I just want to go home and rip her fucking ugly head off!!!!!! FUCK YOU TOVE!!! Just go and die! Good riddence!

Take care
Love
A very angry Madde