Na na na....

How you doin' everybody? ;P

I supposed you all know by now that I hate mondays and today ain't any different... I've been so tired all day today so I have been taking like three naps... insane!!! Other than that I'm doing pretty good, I'm in some pain when i have been sitting to much (which I have been doing today) but who cares right...

Something happened today that I never thought would happen, or rather that I would even consider it or say Yes! :S
Lukas came up to me this morning and asked if I wanted to take a walk with him, he looked at me with thoses puppydog-eyes that I fell inlove with back in the days. I just couldn't say no...

So we got dressed and went out in the cool but very nice weather and we just started of talking about our lives now and then the subject changed and we were back like 6 years... suddenly we were at a very cozy café and we just took a cup of coffee. we continued talking about stuff that happened when we met for the first time, the time he asked me to marry him, the look on his face when I... okay that is to much info... ;P
I don't know how long we were sitting there laughing, saying "I'm sorry about that" and just having a good time, but suddenly it was time for dinner and we had to go home.

I can't believe that I actually missed Luke as much as i have, I guess I have been lying to myself for so long. I have been missing Lukas from the day he left me, I just couldn't believe that a guy would leave me like he did... he is the first boyfriend/husband that have dumped me ever, I'm always the one who does the dumping part in my relationships... Okay he is the only guy that I have followed to the altar, he is the only guy I said yes to when the priest asked "are you willing to take ... to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, to have and to hold untill death do you part?"...
I still remeber the feeling I had in my stomach when I walked down that line and saw the man of my dreams standing there with his beautiful eyes only at me and that gorgeous smile on his lips. And when I stood there infront of him, I just couldn't look away from his face because he looked so happy, and when the pastor asked the question to him, he looked me deep in the eyes and said "Yes, forever and ever" and my tears just let me down and started rolling down my cheeks. When the pastor asked me I said (just like I wrote up there) "Yes".
It was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and the most awesome feeling I have ever felt. I wish I could relive it again...


This is my wedding dress, it's not me wearing it (it's a model) ;)
Well I guess I can't say that i'm having a bad life now with Jared and Johnny but, sometimes I miss that... I don't know if you can say normal, but yes... that normal life I hade with Luke.. he was, or is, a really amazing guy. And he really loved me. He is actually the only guy who hasn't asked a friend of his or some other guy if i'm good in bed, he said that he didn't care. he said he loved me anyway and he treated me with respect from the very first moment.

Okay enough about lukas... you all know what i'm going to talk about now right? ;)
Yeah that's right, movies, tv or books ;)

This time it's nothing I have ever mentioned before... I have started to watch One tree hill. It is really good, I have never been a real fan of theese teenage series on tv like O.C and One tree hill, but now when i was sick and all that I watch a few episodes of OTH and it was really good! Plus Chad Michael Murray is really hot. (don't tell jared because chad is his best friend, part from jensen) I just finished watch episode 12 of the first season and I think I'm going to stop writing now so that I can watch episode 13 ;)

I'll see you guys on wednesday... ;P
Love Madde