I hope you are doing fine because I'm feeling better everyday. It's so nice to be able to smile and laugh again without feeling like your heart is going to burst.
As you know Tove is out with Henrik at the moment. I just send her away with him, they are apperently going to the club where Albin works so that they can get some free drinks. Tove loves free stuff even though almost everything to her is for free because she has enough money to buy the Philippines :P Anyway... it kind of feels worng not to have her here because we have really spent every single minute together since she got back home from the hospital... But I'm glad she finelly gets to have some fun and I trust henrik to look after her. I mean after all he is the doctor. I guess you are wondering why I didn't go with them, well lets say it like this... I'm not going THAT good. I don't think it's such a good idea to go and get drunk and sleep around so soon after all that has happened. Nah, I think I'm going to spend my evening with Nico, Mark, Kian and Shane. I mean I have to spend as much time as possible with them before they leave next friday. And i can't spend so much time with them when Tove is home because as you know, she apparently hates Kian... I think that is a shame, not that she hates him... or yeah that too but most that it's diffecult to spend time with them because I want to spend time with tove too... I just wish she could forget about that awkwardness between her and Kian so that I can hang out with all of them at the same time.
Btw, have you any idea of how many people we know that celebrates their birthdays in April!! It's crazy! First, today... Emma Caulfield celebrates her 36th birthday 
today!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMA!!! then on Sunday it's Brian McFaddens 29th brithday, and then on Monday it's my birthday and on tuesday its Sarahs 32th birthday and then the 29th of April it's KIANS turn, he is also turning 29 ... It just crazy!!! So on Saturday we are celebrating both mine, Brians and Sarahs birthday!!! It's going to be great!! But it's a shame that me and Tove is on Mallorca when it's Kians brithday but I guess i have to buy him something very nice to take with me to Sligo to him. It's goig to be great :D
Anyway, enough about birthdays... I wonder how many times I have written that word this far in the inlay... OMG 9 times!! that ahs to be some sort of record!! Eh anyway, like i said, lets talk about something else....
I got a call today, guess from who... YES! johan the firefighter!! and Tove, his name is Johan not John :S :P He asked me if i wanted to hang out tonight but i told him I was busy... I don't really know why but like I said earlier I'm not ready for sleeping around just yet so... But I'm going to keep his number if I ever feel a need I'll give him a call ;) I suppose all of you just went like "SAY WHAT!" to that whole thing, me saying no to a hot guy. but Yeah! that is the new me!!! HAHA
Maybe I shoudl tell you alittle about far more important stuff then birthdays, sex and booze...
I had a chat with my big brother today about his ex-wife and his doughter... like I told you about a month ago he and his ex are haveing a dispute about who is suppose to get custody of their doughter whos name is Ida. I just wish Nikals will get full custody because his ex is such a bitch and I don't think she is the best mother so to speak. Anyway like Tove said in her inlay from yesterday, Niklas is flying back to Italy, where he and his ex lived for like 4 years, because he has to fix all the papers and all that. I just hope everything will turn out okay so that I can get to know my niece.
Speaking of my family... Tove mentioned the 
funeral
in her inlay and I just thought I should to. The funeral is due on Wednesday and I think it's going to be quite beautiful cermony. I have asked Linus to come with us, me and Niklas but as you can imageon his mother interfered and stopped it all so he is going with her and we will meet them there insted. I just hopw he is doing okay. I think he is doing much better after talking to Tove about his feelings for her and that stuff but i know from experience that a funeral can bring back alot of pain and tears. We are going back to Anitas and Linus house after the funeral and have some coffee and just talk about dad.
God I have nothing fun to write about today
... Hum... Oh i know. I have talken off my bandage today! my wound have healed pretty well but I will always have a scar there to remind me of what i have done. Nicky got pretty happy though, it's been hard on him to see me with the bandage, i don't know why but I think he still blames himself for what i did. I don't want that and i ahve told him not to worry or think that but he still does. This morningwhen we were out for a walk and he took my hand in his he couldn't stop himself from looking at the scar and his eyes went from happy to sad in an instant... I don't understand why he just can't leave it and be happy, it's like he is torturing himself whenever he looks at it. I think I have to try and put makeup or something on it to cover it because I get sad when i see him sad. I think i have to talk to him again and ask how he really feels, I just need him to talk to me. He is one of the most important people in my life and I hate to see the people i love hurt.
Speaking of Nico and that i love him... Tove mentioned a dinner with everyone including Nicky, me and Zara... I bet you can guess how I felt when Zara gave nico one of those long loving tender kisses that i want to be able to give him. It felt like my heart was struck by a thousand knifes and ripped out of my chest and stamped on... Oh God! I told myself not to get hurt again and that is the first thing i do... Tove is not going to be happy... But i'm not going to give a damn, I know he is happy with Zara and I know they love eath other so I'm just going to back of from their relationship... But I'm not going to stay away from Nico ;) i would miss him to much :P
Geez! Yuo guys most really find this inlay boring... Even I think it's boring... Hum... There is nothing I can really tell you to spice it up either...
But I can show you this video because it will spice thing up a bit i promis... Just watch and you'll understand ;)
Well... like I said, it's getting really boring now sitting by myself here so i'm going to wrap this up now and head to Shanes room and hang out with the lads.
you can just hope Tove will have something far more interessting to write about tomorrow...
Take care
Love
Madde
ofcousre I love free things, free is cheap :P haha no I don't! :P I'm as poor as you! if youd dien't want me to go you could of said that honey.
ReplyDeleteI don't know about henrik lookin after me was right but yeah yeah :P
and I don't hate kian, i just don't like him.
it's just crazy with all the birtdays here!! and so much gifest!!
hsha sorry, but I was almost right, just one letter :P I think you will feel to give him acall sometiem otherwise you can give he's nuber to me ;) haha
the new you will just last for a while ;P
I just hope nicklas got to have tessa all the time..
yeah it's going to be a hard day. and I will be there for all of you three.
I just hope linus want do anything stupied then... because you never know with him...
yeah talk to him because it's hard for both of you to feel that way, and you have to talk about it. It help for us you know. so just tryed that.
well what can I say..I'm proed that you decisded not to get involved in there realationship and ruin evereything..
sO I just hope you stick with that and I don't think it anything wrong with that you hangout with him.
yeah I know ;)haha yeah right ;P you do have alot of money!! ;P I know, he wont look after you...
ReplyDeleteyou do hate him...
I know!! It's insane!!
yeahyeah but it's two different names ;P
haha No he is mine! so sorry love :P
yeah well we'll see
yeah so do i
thank you.
same here... he is pretty unpredictical...
yeah I know.. but i think it's hard for him to talk about..
yeah i know it would help alot more but will see if he wants to talk about it.
thank you, i guess...
i will do my best...
haha ofcourse ;) yes I'm ;)
ReplyDeleteyeah yeah if you say so :P how much dose the phillipens cost? ;)
no he wont he, I think he takes the chance to drink when he dosen't work so. Don't be mad at him!
No I don't! we just have diffrens opinens.
Oh yeah!!
yeah yeah but it's almost the same ;)
well you cant't say he's yours if you are not going to use him ;) haha because then I can use him ;) haha
yeah we will
yeah..
np honey!
yeah just liek you...
yeah but he kind of have to, because otherwsie he will never get over it.
yeah.
yeah good.
haha I don't really know ;) let's find out ;) hahha who can we talk to about that... hum...
ReplyDeleteyah i think so too.... I'll try not to but it's not easy
who? you and me or you and kian?
yeah!
No it's not :P
of course I can :P No you can't :P
yeah
:)
ha ha really funny...
yeah I know, but he is a worrier so I think he will continue to torture himslef about it... God I'm such a bitch who causes him so much pain... shoot me! or don't that will just hurt him more :(
yeah
yeah let's do that, that would be kind of nice acutally! ;) but then I maybe would be out of money, that depnds how much it costs :P humm I don't know I hope it's a he and that he love blonds ;) haha
ReplyDeleteyeah, so don't balme him. well Its just my fauilt if we now can callit fauilt.
me and kian, but you and me too! so i don't hate him
yes it is! :P a letter here or there don't make so much diffrent in the world :P haha
no you can't! :P I will if you dosne't take him ;P
well yeah it kind of is.
well I know how he's feeling.
no you are not a bitch, I'm the bitch! :P
I would never shoot you. he will be fine I promis he's a big boy
yeah just think about it, fly to the phillipines and relax when ever we want ;P
ReplyDeleteyeah maybe... that's no good...
haha yeah then it's going to be easy ;)
yeah fine it's your fault :P
fine, but try to be nice to him! plz!
yes it does :P its two different names :P
fine take him, there are better guys :P
no it's not..
I hate that! I don't want any of you to feel like that!
yeah wll i have just joined your club..
yeah I know he is a big boy but I hate to see him sad, I want him to smile and be happy, i love his smile, it makes me smile.
yeah lovely! ;) we should considerit ;P
ReplyDeleteno... then we don't have the money to get there... hmm
Oh yeah, if you are up for it ;) haha blonds have more fun ;) haha
thank you! :P
I'm nice!!
now you are just trying to sound smart! and it's not working! ;P haha
yeah ofcousre it is, but I can start with him ;) haha
why not?
don't worry about it we will be fine as long as you are fine!
No you ahven't you aren't even close, I tell you when you are! and not now.
well tell him that!
yeah we should ;)
ReplyDeletehum.. this is ahrd...
sure thing hun ;) oh yeah we do ;)
np ;)
no your not1
No i'm not, i'm just telling the facts :) oh shut up :P
sure i've allrady had him ;)
beacause it isn't :P
I'm fine! but you guys aren't :(
thanks :P
but it sounds so cheesy...
we may have to talk to krisen about it too ;P but just maybe..
ReplyDeleteyeah but that depends how much it costs and how much money we have..
haha good ;) you are my little sextoy who help out when I need you ;) haha that's just because you are so dumb so you don't understand what really is fun ;P
yes I'm, I'm not doing anything!
No I'm the one whos telling that fact's that you are not so smart ;P
I know ;) was he good? ;)
you have bad humuor! :P
we will be, I promis. I can talk to nico if you like because I think we understand each other in this?
np :P you are just a slut insted :P you can tell me when I'm starting to get close to that :P
I don't think he cares, do you?