A better day

Hello!

Has anyone been fooled today? Because it's 1 April, well I hate that day!

Because I hate to be trickt and I ALWAYS fall for evreytime what ever it is!

Well Henrik tricked me today, I'm not going to write what he did because it's just embarrassing how gullible I'm. But I think Henrik is going to have a bump in he's head tomorrow or I hope he dose anyway :P Because I throw one of my high heels in he's head and I throw it well because the heel hit him perfectly. But he just laughted at me! Like I said I hate this day and I hate Doctors who trickes me!

Well I have to say it was wounderful to be home, I think that have to be the first time and maybe the last time ever I say that I liked to be at home. But most of all that because of Madde. I'm so happy that she is saying that she is feeling alittle better. Because she have to be better soon! Like Madde told you in her last inlay about that she diden't want to go to shrink, I agreed to that if she really talks to me, and then I mean really talks to me. But I don't promis anything because I have to see that she feels better otherwise she has no choose. And Madde you can't trick me and say that you are feeling better when you don't, you know that I can see when you lieing. So just keep to the truth.

In a week I'm home! :D YAY! Well I still have to go back here like evreyday so they can do my tests, but I take what I can get. I can sleep home anyway and be around Madde! :D

I have missed talking all night long and I have to say that I have missed my bed and my room alot too. So I can't wait to get home! But I'm going to miss a surted person here I can't deny that. But I'm going to meet him evreyday anyway for those first weeks.

But the disadvantage with the home trip is that I have to come up with a good present for Kellan, which is really hard and I have to buy Keira something too, I hate to come up with good presents. I just have to aske Kellan what he wishes for... because now when Rob went home I can't aske him either, so Madde what do you Kellan wants from me?

Well Dr.sexy came by my room earlier today like always, he asked how I was feeling, I said that I'm so glad that madde is doing better and I'm really grateful that he fixed so I culd go home for a night. He just said that he wish he could of done more.

Then we started to talk about what I'm going to do when I get home.

I told him that I'm going to hang out with Madde ofcourse and maybe my family we will see.

Then I told him about my plan to going out next wensday, like you all know it's little saturday then. But I told him that I diden't know if Madde was up to that and I don't think she would like me going out by myself. So Henrik asked if I wanted to go out with him, because he diden't had to work the next day. I said yes ofcourse but first I have to talk to Madde about it.

It just hit me that he was maybe asking me out on an date, but no why should he?!

Because if he did then I really have to talk to Madde about it and I don't know if I want to go out with him in that way, I don't even know if I like him in that way. If it is a date then I have to think about my answer once again, but if he just wants to go out with me as a booty call then it's fine with me ;) Or if he just wants to go out with me as a freind then it's okay too.
But if it's a date then I don't know, because I odn't know what I want or what Madde thinks and now when I know what Sean thinks too so I just have to think about it.

And you all know me that I think it's to embarrassing to ask him if there was a date or a booty call or something else...So I don't know what to do..

I haven't told you about Sean, Madde talked to him last week I think, and don't ask me why she talkde to him because I don't really know, and she diden't tell me right a way.

He had told her that he still loved me and missed me but he still was a bit upset. Which I understand, but if he wants me back then it's just up to me and what I want. Which I don't know.. I still love him too that's no qustion about that but it feels like it ahve been to much trubble for along time before that with Kian and I acutally like being single. So it's really hard, I hate when I have to deside this things... and also hate that guys can't talk about feelings with me, because Sean haves to tell Madde all about how he feels, and he allreday know that I will hear evrey single word of what he said , so why can't he tell me by himself?! They are such cowards!

I acutally when out for a short walk with Henrik today, it was nice intill I saw those bitches who had been so fucking rude to her the otherday! It was Jessica "gang" who we had been the same school some of the even in our class. I hated them back then too, then teatsed me for having red hair and beeing spoild and Madde for sleeping around and all that about her father!

It have alomost gone by 10 yeras now seen school but they ahevn't growned up at all!

When I saw them I just walked straight up to them and started to yell at them contine myself, I was so mad! I told them that they coulden't say that to Madde, her father had just died and it's nothing funny with that, and maybe he was a asshole but he was sick and needed help! Then they had heard about Maddes cutting too and about her little mistake with Eddie, I don't understand where they got all the information and that they even have the energi to care baout it! So they said some pretty bad things about Madde and the cutting and about Madde and Eddide!! Then I just coulden't stop yelling, I think people looked at us but I diden't care! I was SO FUCKING MAD at them!! I just wanted to kill them!! But Henrik diden't let me!

Then the bitches started to talk about me to, but fortunetly I have change over this 10 years and I'm so much stronger now so they can't hurt me what ever they say. They hade also heard that I had been dumped about my boyfreinds so ofcourse thay used that. Then they said that I had become slut to just like Madde, and they said that it was jut because I wanted to be like her because I was to ugly to get my own guys! I just told them that ofcourse I want to be like Madde, I love her and she is so much better then you evre going to be!! I could tell that Henrik started to get angrey too, but I just gave him my evil eye look so he woulden't do anything.

Then Lovisa one of the bitches started to hit on Henrik and he was like don't touch me!

Then they where all over my hair again and how ugly it was and that I looked as a red ball on my head! Than I was so tierd of this, so I just took of my wig and all of them just got quiet, so they diden't know about that. But the silence diden't last long but this time I could hear that they where a little chocked. But bitches never ends being bitches. So they said that I was even more ugly now and I would never get a guy looking like that, because that was just disgusting and no one would never had sex with me again. Then suddely I feelt Henriks hands on my bare backhead then I could feel he's lips against mine and then he kissed me, we kissed for a while or maybe I should call it making out because it was alot of toungh involved too. But he shuted them up anyway, but they looked on us with disgust but I diden't care.

When we had stop kissing we just walked away, but I yell back at them and told them if they ever talkes about Madde again, then they have to deal with me and that time I woulden't be so nice like this time!

When we got back to the hospital I when into my room and tryed to get my wig on again because that isen't the easies you can do. Then the door open and there was Linus, he looked at me then he just ran away again. I think it was to much for him to see me without my hair, that makes it so moreb real, that's why I hate to see myself without my wig.

But I ran after him because I thought he coudeln't gone so far. But I diden't fine him after I had been lokking for him for like 20 minutes, but he was no where. Then I want back to my room and there he was, he sat on my bed with my vodka bottle in he's hand, I could see that he had been drinking because the bottle was almost ematy now and before it wasen't. So I just walked towards him and tooked it away from him. And I sat myself down next to him, I tryed to take he's hand in mine but he just pulled it away and tryed to walk towards the door but he could barely stand up he was so drunk. So he just sat down next to me agian, after a while he starte dto talk to me about he's life, he's mother, he's father, he's school and evreything else, but I don't know how much was true or if there was just the alcohol talking. I'm so worred about him...

But i coulden't be mad at him for the drinking, because 1. I'm not even realted to him, 2. I understand why he's doing it, 3. I would of done acutally the same.

He acutally feeled a sleep in my bed later, where he still is. I just ahve to aske Henrik later to drive him home.

Then ofcousre Madde was here visting me like always eralier today she had brought Nico. Soon Nicky can sleep at home again because I'm home soon I don't know what Madde thinks about that... well anyway we talked for along while like always, mostly about how she was feeling and me coming home. She is just so exated! She can't stop talking about it! She is so sweeit! I think she is longing most of evreyone! But that's just sweeit :)

Well then Nico drived her home.

I just have to say sorry honey for not telling you about Linus and he's drinking tonight, I just haden't have the time to call you yet so you have to fine out here, sorry!

But he will be fine don't worry. Let me do all the worring for both of you instead!

Well now I will end this inlay becasue I don't have that much to say. But Tomorrow will Madde blogg :) Have a nice evening!

Kisses

Tove