Not great

Hello!

Today is my last day here! FINALLY! But I still have to come back here like evrey singel day but that is better then spending evrey minutet here at the hospital!

So tomorrow night I'm home again! Sleeping in my own bed, if I'm not in Maddes bed! I can't wait!

As you may have notice we have fix up our blogg a bit, I hope you like it!

Okay I haven't done that much, Madde is the little computer geek so she is the brain behind all this I have just like said yes or no. But that's importent too! ;P So Madde you are geek to even though you don't want to admitit :P So it's not just me who is a geek ;P haha

Well Maddes birthday is coming up in alittle more then a week, to be specific it's 8 days away, and it really hard to forgett about it because she reminds me about it like evrey minute, well that's just how she is. But it can be kind of annoyoing sometimes :P I have alittle promblem what I'm going to get her.. because I think she have the biggest expectations on me... I have one idea but I have to buy her something more too, but I don't know what! Madde what do you ? :P You have to help me otherwise you want get anything :P And I know you don't want that ;P Because you love presents ;)

Well I don't know what we are going to do that day, that I thinkit's up to Madde so she have to tell you about that. Maybe we will go and say hi to Albin then ;) haha

Well my little princess is turning 25, she is geting old ;P just 5 more then you are 30 ;P and just 25 and you are 50 ;P haha

Like you know Madde meet Albin yesteraday, and like she said he was all over her ;P But madde have told me that shw would stop looking on the outside and start focusing on the inside instead! We will see if she succed! ;P

But I think Henrik regret that he broght Albin to the hospitan and especially that he meet Madde :P Because all he's chances with Madde are gone now I think, right Madde? ;P haha

Well Linus and Madde came and vistit me today like they had promised. I can't say that it went well. I can just as well startet tell you this from the begeinning.

Madde and Linus came inside my room afer lunch time. Madde came and gave me hug and Linus just stood there. He looked kind of helpless and weak and he looked at me diseppointed. But I think he diden't wanted to show me how he really was feeling so he wanted to act cool.

So the first thing he said to me was when he asked me who I had been screwing today. Madde just tooked at him and then me and I could see what she was thing that this not going to go well.

Well I answer to he's qustion and I told him no one. He was just like " yeah right". AHH teenagers they just drive me crazy sometime!

Yeah anyway we satt down at my little table and it was a very unpleasant atmosphere in there.

He diden't say a word, and I diden't know where to start. So I just starteing saying that I had no idea that he feel like this and that I was sorry. He diden't even look at me, he just pretended like he diden't hear me at all. But I diden't care I just continue talking, I said that I never meant to hurt him and I will help him how ever I can. But no respons. I told him that I love him but not in that way. But he just sat there and looked out from the window.

Then Henrik walked throw the door at worsed timing ever!! Then Linus woke up to life, Linus looked at Henrik liké he was going to kill him! I just walked to Henrik and whisperd to him that I should come back later, he looked at me confused and then he walked out the door.

Now Linus coudlen't keep away he's tears anymore, they just start falling down he's cheeks.

He went up from the chair fast and I could see how diseppointed he was on himself for crying and how disepointed he was at me. Then he startet yelling at me and he's tears just ran more and more. He told me that I was a fucking bitch who just thought about myself and sex, and that I should stay here at the hospital and I would of been so fucking better if I had died in that operation table and never woke up again!! Then Madde start talking to and she just told him that he shoulden't say anything he would regret later. Then he got angrey with her to for taking my side, and then he just run out of there crying!

Madde just gave me hug and run after him, I don't know if she found him because she haven't called me yet, so maybe she will tell you more about that tomorrow.

I just hope he is okay...

When I had calm down a little I desided that I should call Jensen, because this day coulden't be any wosre then this. So I deal the number and he picked up right away. He sounded so happy when he heard it was me. He asked how I was doing and I had to tell him about evreything. He wanted to hear about Linus and Madde and many other things. The was fine and that he missed me. I think the worsed thing with Jensen and the best thing with Jensen is that he is not afried to talk about he's feeling like evrey other guy. So when I said he missed me I diden't know what to say. So I just was quite, I think he got alittle diseppointed that I diden't say that I missed him. But I do miss him but I just don't want to tell him that because then it sounds like I want him back, but I don't really know what I want so I just coulden't say it.

He just change subject when I diden't say something, I just feelt so mean towards him.

We talked a little more but it was very awkward then, so he told me that he had to go, I don't know if that was a lie or not, but I diden't ask, so we said goodbye.

When I had put away my phone Henrik came carefully into my room and he asked if he could come in. And I said yes.

He asked me what all of that erlier had been all about, because he had notice Linus killing look and then he had seen first Linus running out of there and then Madde.

I told him that Linus was inloved with me and when he found us he got alittle bit dieppointed. And that Madde had brought him to talk to me about it but it diden't go that well.

He just looked into my eyes and said " you always have some kind of problem" then he smiled.

Then he asked me how old Linus was and I told him that he was 15, Henrik just said hard age for a guy espesilly with he's father gone. Then I thought Henrik is a guy so maybe he can help me.

So I asked him what he thought I would do, he just said that I have to try to talk to him again and it can take a very long time for a cruse to diseppear especially when you are a sad guy in your teens. But he said that he wish he know what I should do. So do I...

Then Henrik told me that he had found a intresting website on the internet and then he just start laughing. I was like what?!

Then he started to say some very weird things while he was laughing. He said" Imadgen that you take of my white shirt of my hot steaming sexy muscels. And then take my blue jeans of my tight hot ass and just see my beutieful tanne and look deep into my beuatiful deep eyes , just like the ocean and touch my soft hairwith your fingers" Then finally reacogninze where all that was coming from and I realize that he had found our blogg!!! And that he had read my little sex dream about him and eveything else!! I could just feel how emarraresst I got, I think he could feel that too, but he just countinue laughing intill the tears start flow down cheeks!!

I just wanted to disapear! I hate him sometimes!! I know he will continue teasing me for this now evreytime I meet him!! He told me that he would follow or blogg evreyday now, then he left my room and he was still laughing!!

Well not good!

I just hope Madde calls me soon and tells me how it went with Linus... I just hope she dosne't forgett to call me, but it woulden't suprise me because she is probably going to hang out with Nico and play card or something.

Well now I have to go and be ashamed by myself!

Next time I blog we will be at home!! YAY!! :D

But Tomorrow you will hear from Madde. :)

Kisses

Tove