Happy Birthday Honey!

Hello Guys!!

Today it's a really speciell day because my little princess is geting old! She is turning 25!! YAY! :D I have known Madde now for 23 years almost, and I love her more then ever now! She is just the moste loveing and amzing person on the enire planet! So Madeleine Anna Karlsson I hope you will have a wounderful day with many great giftes and I hope you will love my gifes too, So honey HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! :D :D :D

I will tell you more about my gifes to Madde in a while, you just have to wait ;) And don't cheat and scroll down before! Okay? ;)

can start telling you about the saturday party night, and tell you mine opinen on it.

Well it was a night with alot of alochol from my side. And many others too! ;) But I do think I was worst and then Henrik and then maybe Madde. Like Madde said I was pretty drunk!

My planes for that night was to avoied Jensen and drink alot, and I think it went well ;P I got drunk and I diden't talk to Jensen at all. I could feel he's eyes looking at me, but that is he's problem. But I had a pretty good time with Henrik anyway for a whole hour that was the best thing with the whole night if you ask me ;) Okay I don't remebere that much about that night but I do remebere that I loved he's company anyway ;) But the negative thing with our " back stage" date was that he gave me a ugly memory from that night, through a hickey!!

I feels like I'm 15 again. But back then I thought it was cool! I don't really know why but I did. I would kill someone now if they tryed to give me one, but like I said I was pretty drunk!

So now I have a BIG hickey on my neck and it's ugly and embarrassing! So know I have to wear a scarf for like two weeks! And I'm going to Mallorca on Thursday, hot! And I can't use make up either because then I will have a white mark when I come home. So I just have to go with the scarf. But I have to say the sex was AMZING so it was kind of worth it I have to say! ;) haha

I have acutally been hanging out with Henrik today because he was off from work today and tomorrow. So he called me this morning and asked if I wanted to take a walk with him, and because I had nothing to do so I said yes. I diden't really know if he really wanted to walk or if it was some kind of booty call, but I woulden't mind that either so :P

But he acutally wanted to walk and talk, at first anyway ;P

It was nice talking to him again, I have missed that seens I got home, It has only been a week today but it feels like an eternity seens I got home. But like I said it was nice talking to him, he is acutally a really good listner, belive it or not but he is. Okay he's is a good talker too, he loves to hear he's own voice :P But after a two hours walk and talk he had he's thoughts somewhere else, in a little more dirrty place ;) So we went up for a hill and to a vantage-point where know one use to be and there it was a park bench and yeah then you probably can figure it out by yourself what happend ;) Omg! I don't understand what happening to me, I'm uselly not the woman who would of had sex on a park bench, or I'm uselly just think that's stupied or grossed, I uselly just like haveing sex in the bed and that's it. But now! The bathroom on the club twice, the park bench and almost at the hopspital. Uselly I would hate the thought that someone could see us but now I don't seems to care! It's weird.. But I think Henriks likes it ;) I just don't understand what I'm doing I don't recognize myself and it's kind of scary but exciting too ;P I just have to wait and see what happens, but I odn't thinkit will end well..

After my little walk, talk and sex with Henrik. Then I decide that I would go over to Linus and see if he had change he's mind about Madde and if he still was pissed at us, because I really wanted him to come to the party tonight for Madde.

I knocked on the door and Linus open up. I could see that he was still mad at me but I didn't care as long as he's alright. He diden't invite me in, but I walked inside anyway. He was apparently alone. I said that he should stop beeing mad at us we just wanted to help him. I I told him that I would love to see him at Maddes birtday party tonight, but then he have to stop beeing so fucking angry with us and he have to chance he's mind about women because he can't speak like that or have opines like that. Then he said that a girl woulden't care if he thought that way about them aslong as the girl get what she wants, I could feel the angrey inside me again, but I could control it alittle better this time. Then I told him that I could NEVER love a man who has those opinen about women like he dose. Then he just looked away I could see that he was embarresed, I just have to say that sometimes it can be good to have a 15 year old boy who is inlove with you because then they may listen about this things, I have to use what I got.

Linus just sat there on he's chair in the kitchen, and he still lokked really embarrest which I think was good because then maybe listen to me finally. He's right hand was lying on the table, I took my hand and placed it on he's, I could see how the tears started to pour down he's cheeks. Then he just turned around and throw himself around my neck and he said that he was so sorry for all that with Madde and all taht he had said about her and evreything else. I just told him to tell her not me, when he had stoped crying he let go a little from my hicky neck and then he looked deep into my eyes for a long while and then he said three words to me, I love you. I just looke at him I diden't know what to say because I could see in he's eyes that he diden't mean as friend and then suddely he tried to kiss me! He lead he's face closer to mine but I just gave him a kiss on the cheek and then I huged him again, I whisperd to him that I loved him to but not in the same way. Then he broke himself loose from the hug and sat down again, he's eyes was all red from the crying. I feelt so sorry for him! I diden't know what to do. I suggested that it would maybe be good for him to not see me for a while maybe easier for him, but he is stubborn as he's sister. He said that he woulden't survive if he coulden't see me, he's so sweeit! So he would rather be miserble and jealous of all the guys and be more happy and not to see me, he's exactlly like he's big sister, stubborn! I don't get them.

Then it knocked on the door and Linus walked towards the door to open and he was still red in he's eyes you could really see that he had been crying. I remained in the kitchen, I could hear the door open and I could hear Linus saying hello with he's cool voice which he never used with me only with he's " friends", but I could hear that he did sound alittle worried too. After just a few seconds I could hear a voice who wasen't Linus, and he was asking if Linus had been crying in a teasing way. I could hear Linus saying no in a weak voice. Then I could hear another voice who was saying to Linus that he had cryed like a girl and that he should change sex so he could be a girl because men don't cry that's just gay. Then the other voice asked said that he maybe was gay or that he wasen't a real man, just as Linus dad, then they said in a malicious voice that oh right your alco dad is death. Then I could hear then laugh. Then I was pissed of and tierd of this so I walked out to the hallway and when I got to the door I recognize them, it was two guy who had been on Linus party and those two was also involved with the druggrop.

When they saw me they asked Linus if I was he's babysiter, he just looed down and said really quit no. I was so fucking anrey! I would never be afrie of those bratz who thinks they are something, which they are not! I wanted to yell at them but I diden't want to embarrest Linus more, since he have to go to school with them evrey single day and I don't think it would be better if I talked for him, maybe just worse. So I just told them to leave because they had nothing to do here. And if they diden't leave Linus alone I would ensure they would get a visited forbid towars him, and if they broke that then I would make sure that they would go to prison since they are soon 16. I also told them that I have a close relationship to the police. But then they started on me instead, but now it was more physical, they touched me on my waist, on my ass, yeah evreywhere and I was trying to get loose because one of the guys had a tight grip around my wrist. I could see how scared Linus got, but I wasen't scared at all I was to pissed to be scared of two little rats!! But who mad I was I diden't get loose, but after a little while I heard a familier voice coming from the street say that they should stop, I could see that man approaching, It was Jensen! But they diden't let go. When Jensen stood next to the little bratz he looked at them and said with a firm voice that they should let go of me. He did, but the guy I think was the leader started to qustioning Jensen, he diden't care. He asked him why he should stop. Because he can't decide what he would do, and that Jensen diden't own me and the bratz had found me first and that he could do what ever he wanted to do with me. I could see how mad Jensen got,he's not often mad but when he is not good.

Jensen just answer that no one owns me I was a person, a woman that no one could decide over.

The guy asked in a teasing voice if Jensen was my boyfriend, it just feelt like he said that because he was sure that the answer would be no and that we had just meet each other.

I could see how Jensen hesitated alittle before he answard. I just looked at him. Then he said yes with a very firmly voice. But the " leader" diden't belive him, he was just like kiss her then so we can see. Then Jensen just looked at me into my eyes, then he kissed me, I thinkit was the hardesd kiss I have done and at the same time one of the best kisses I have ever had. When our lips had left each others I looked back there linus had been standing, but he wasne't there anymore. The other two guys just stood there, Jensen just told them to leave and never bother us again. This time they listen. When they had go there way me and Jensen went inside again.

Then I started to seaching after Linus, I founded him in he's room crying. I left Jensen in the kitchen. I huged him I don't really know what he was mst sad about the gang up on him or the kiss. But we didne't reallt talk about that kiss because I diden't really know what to say.

I just told him that nothing they said was true they where just insecure bratz! And that they deserved a wrist right on there nose. Then I told him that maybe we should call Madde because she is good at that. Then he started to laugh a little, and th worsed crying stoped. Then I asked him if he wanted to come to the party tonight, and he said yes. I told him that it would make Madde really happy. The only catch was that we where proabaly going to drink and that he had to promis me not to. After a while persuasden he promised, but I don't really know if I can trust that, I just have to keep my eyes on him.

Well after that me and Jensen left to take the long walk home who even seemed longer today..

It was a creepy atmosphere between us. After a few minuts silence, Jensen asked me if I had a good time on that night when we celebrated Maddes birtday, but he sounden weird when he asked me almost little irretated, but I diden't know if it was those kids he was still mad at or something esle. But I answer him yes. Then he asked me even more irratated if Henrik had have a good time. I told him I diden't know but I hope he had. Then he asked if I know it was illigale to have a realationship with your docter, now I knew where he was going with this. I told him that I know that but I diden't know what he was telling me this. Then he snaped he got so angery with me. He told me not to fucking lie to him anymore, and just tell him the truth! Then I got mad too and told him that me and Henrik dien't have a realtionship and we where just friends. Then he told me taht he had seen us go away for a hour on the party and he had heard Madde saying something about me and Henrik havning sex. Well I coudlen't deny that so I told him that I have had sex with him. Then he got even more agrey with me and yell at me that all I have been doing from the first day we broke up was to fuck others, and then he said that he hasen't been with anyone after me! I just yelled back at him that the mostly I have been doing is to lie in a fucking hospital bed all thay long!! And what I have done and not done that just my business!!! Since he fucking broke up with me!!

Then we where home at my place so I just ran inside and up into my room and slamed the door behind me and throw myself on the bed. I could hear footstep coming closer and I understood that it was Madde. She carefully open the door, she asked if she could come in, I diden't answer, but imadgen she took that as a yes because she closed the door and came to me on the bed a lied down beside me and she asked if I was okay, I just said no. Then she wanted me to tell her all about it,but I just told her that I would tell her later, because I wanted her to be happy on her birtday and not been worring about my problems. So we just lied there fora while then she went to nico because he call on her. When she had closed the door I call Henrik and asked him if he could come her tonight on the party, I told him that I need him her so I could have a drinker friend or maybe more. He just so sweeit, he just said ofcourse baby I will be there. He's probably just coming for one thing but I don't care I can use him for that too. I just think he's sweeit since he's only free days in weeks he spends with me, and that's nice. I just think he's sweeit as in a friend way. Nothing else. Even thoug Madde thinks so, but Madde has a lot of weird a ideas in her little blond brain ;P Haha

About Maddes presents, she got So happy about one of my gifes that she diden't know what to do, I think I have never seen her that happy before just because of a gift. So I don't think I let her down, or Madde did I? ;) So now you ahve to beat this so I get as happy in my birthday ;P Which can be kind og tuff if you aske me, since I'm not really into presents like Madde are :P

I'm not going to tell you in words what she got from me I just have to show you instead!! On of the gifes was kind of hard to wrap in :P

Well her they are ;)

http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss304/carry_love/Rin.jpg

http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss304/carry_love/Present.jpg

I hope you like Maddes gifes from me :) I do anyway!

Madde can tell you herself tomorrow about ther rest of her giftes :)

Nico has a pretty amzing gift too, but I thinkshe would like to tell you hear self insted so you just have to wait! ;P sorry ;)

I have to tell you that Madde are like a three year old sometimes she's even worse that my little sister My, she is 6. When the clock was just 10 in the morning, she came to me and I was still sleeping. But I did get a really awak call from my birthday girl! She took away my cover and because that diden't work she took my water glass and pour it over me!! Then I was up, and pretty mad too! On Maddes birthday that's the only day Madde are awke early and she always wake me up because she thinks I'm to slow to give her presents and cake and all that. But today I think she was out of line!! So I just walked into the bathroom with about saying a word and then she had to wait for the presents for like two more hours just as a punishment, I think she got alittle bit irrateded about that, but I don't care it her own fauilt! So then I went out for the walk with Henrik instead and when I came back home I was in a much better mood, so then she got to opened them. ;P

Tonight we are going to drink a lot of wine her at home and talk and dance maybe and yeah who knows. And maybe it will happend some drama to we just have to see what happends.

I just hope Henrik will get her soon, I need to get my thoughts away for a while and I think he can help me with that. We just have to watch out from Linus and maybe Jensen too.. or I don't really care about it, he can find us if he wants, I just feel sorry for Henrik then.

Well now I have to go and get ready, for my princess party! :)

So I hope you all will have a nice evning! And tomorrow Madde will blogg and tell you all about tonight! ;) And tomorrow Sarah is haveing her birthday, so Happy birtday Sarah a day to soon but who cares ;P haha

Well see ya!

Kisses

Tove