Good day after all!

Hey guys!
Well I bet you guys want to hear if Jensen talk to me last night after Madde had talked to him, and if we are friends agian..

Well last night after I read Maddes inlay and I found out that she had talk to him then I thought he was going to come over to me and finally talk to me and say how sorry he is and so on. But the hourse went by and no Jensen, so I got really disappointed, sad and hurt more then I all reday was.. so I slowly removed the ring from my left ring finger and put it on my night stand and looked at it and a tear rolled down my cheek which I fast dried away. Then I got up from the bed and walkde into the closet and I started to get undressed and then the it knocked on the door and I feel how nervoius I got because I was so sure that it was Jensen, but then I heard it open and I heard Jared voice and he said " Tove?" Before I got to answer I heard him infront of me suprised " Sorry!" I looked up at him and I wan't weraing any bra just my pantis so I fast cover my boobs with my hands and arms, I looked at Jared and still coulnd't keep his eyes of me, I picked up a top to cover, my boobs and then I picked up a pair of socks and throw at him and he just laughed, I tured so I had my back against him and tried to take on my sleeping top as discreet as I could but then Jared laughed and said " I can still see you in the mirror" I just tured around and slamed the door closed just infront of his nose and just put on the top and walked out of there and Jared was sitting on the bed smiling and I said " Can you stop looking at me?!" He laughed and said " It's hard you are really sexy! " I shocked my head and said " No I'm not, but thanks.. " Jared walked over to me and and put his hands on my shoulders and said " Tove you are sexy and beautiful." I sign and Jared said " I know I'm not the man you want to hear it from but he will talk to you I promise he loves you more then anyone in ths world. You and Dennie is the most importent thing in his life and you know that. " I said " Yeah maybe but I just hope he will know that too and realize it before it's to late.." Jared said " When is it to late? " I said " Tomorrow.. if he hasn't talk to me before tomorrow.. that means he dosn't trust me, and then we don't have a...future togther.. " I could feel tears started to well up in my eyes and I know Jared saw that too and he wraped his arms around me and hugged me but I was fighting back the tears but his hug wasn't making it easier so I pushed him away and got out of his gripe and laied down on the bed and Jared looked at me and said " Do you want to watch a movie? " I nodded and said " Sure but nothing with love in it" Jared smiled and nodded and put in a movie in the dvd and lied down in the bed next to me and I could see that he looked at the engatment ring on teh night stand but he didn't say anything he just countinued watching the movie. I don't really know what the movie was about because all I was thinking about was Jensen and then I feel Jareds arm my shoulders I looked at him and he looked back at me and a tear rolled down my cheek which I dried away and I crawled closer to Jared and leaned my head towards his shoulder and he stroke my hair and then he pressed his lips against my head and kissed me and we just sat there and let the movie running. When it had ended and I said " Thank you Jared, I really didn't want to be alone and you where here so thanks. " He said " Don't worry about it, you have been there for me more times then I'm been there for you and I love you" I smiled and said " I love you too" Jared said " Maybe it's time to go to sleep, do you want me to sleep here? " I sat up and looked at him and said " Thanks, but no thanks I will be fine. " he nodded and said " Okay, if you need something I'm here " I smiled and gave him a hug and kissed his cheek and said " I know. " he smiled and stroke my cheek and said goodnight and left.

I looked at the pictur I had in my bookcase of me and Jensen looking at each other so happy and in love.. even thought Madde said that he is trusting me but if he did shouldn't he all reday have been here then? When I had looked at the picture for a while I sign and took it of the shelve and walked over to the trash can and took a last took at it and throw it away then I looked out throw the window at the dark sky and then all the sudden I saw a falling star and I closed my eyes and wished for something, then I slowly walked over to the big empty bed and crawled down and tured the light off and I lied there for a couple of hours then I finally feel a sleep.
I woke from a sobing sound in the room and I opend my eyes and it was till dark outside so it was still night. I sat up a little and looked around in the room and then I saw Jensen sitting in the sofa crying and I feelt so bad for him. I looked at him and his eyes meet mine and I got up from bed and it was freezing in my room but I didn't care. I sat down next to him in the sofa and he just started to cry even more so I stroke his arm and then I just could keep myself from not hugging him so I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him and it was so great and I breath in his scentens but then he just got out of my grip and looked at me and said " I don't deserve that.. " I just looked at him and he cried " I'm so sorry Tove.. I trust you of course I do, I'm so sorry I know you and Jared didn't do anything.. I wish I could stop beeing this fucking Jealous... I trust you more then anyone in this world because I know you would never lie to me.. I really hope you believe me? " More tears rolled down his face and I took his hand and said " Yes since I trust you I trust that you are telling me the truth right now. " He looked at me and said " So you forgive me for beeing a totally jerk this days? " I took his head between my hands and looked at him and said " yes I forgive you honey. " I pressed my lips against his wet cheek and then he said " I just wish I could stop acting like this.. 'm just so scared" I said " You know Jensen no one is perfect all of us have bad sides and this is one of yours so don't bet yourself up to much about this, just next time please try to talk to me before it gets this bad again, okay? " He nodded and more tears rolld down his face and he said " Okay, I promise. " I dried a few tears away from his face and then I said " What are you so scared about? " He looked down and i gently grabbed his chin with my thump and index finger and lifted it up and I said " Jensen don't be scared of talking to me, please tell me? " He sob and said " I'm so scared of losing you.. agian, it have happend so many times.. to many times and I know that I can't live without you. You are the person that makes me want to get up in the morning, that person who makes me happy, that person I want get narried too, that person I have a family with and that person I love the most. I love you Tove and I always will. " I smiled and said " I know exatlly how you feel and you don't have to be scared I promise I'm not going anywhere, it wil be you and me forever until death do us apart as day say right? " He smiled and said " Can I kiss you? " I smiled and said " I would be disppointed if you didn't. " he smiled and looked into my eyes and put his hand on the back of my head and his face moved closer and closer to my and I could feel the buterflies in my stomach and when his lips was just a couple of cm away he opend his lips alittle and I did the same and closed my eyes, then I feelt his lips agianst mine and it was just like I was in heaven and when out lips let go of ecah others I opend my eyes and looked straight into his amazing eyes and then all the sudden he stood up and picked something up from his pocket and held it in his hand and smiled and then he just got down on one knee infront of me and smiled and said "Tove Alexandersson will you marry me? " He opend his hand and there was my enegatment ring and I lauged and said " Yes!" " He smiled and put it on my finger again and then he took my hand and kissed the ríng and sat down on the sofa again and I laughed and said " You didn't have to proopse again. " He smiled and said " I know but I wanted too I wanted to hear you say yes. " I said " How could you bee so sure that I was going to say yes? " He smiled and said " I can see it in your eyes, and if you didn't want to get engaged again then you would have throwend the ring away " I smiled and said " You know me to well. " He smiled and gave me a kiss and then a hug and he said " You are freezing!! " Then I got the chnace to feel how cold I really was I had goosebumps all over my body and I was almost hacking teeth because of the could and my whole body was like an ice block, Jensen looked at me and said " Let me get you to bed under that warm cover. " I nodded and Jensen smiled and picked me up from the sofa and walked over to the bed and lied me down under the cover, but that didn't help that much because the bed was also like a ice block or something. Jensen pulled of his shirt and put it in the laundry basket and I looked at his gourgous body and smiled and then he took of his pants and socks and he looked at me and smiled and then he walked towards the bed and crawled down and I was so cold and I hacked my teeth a little and Jensen looked at me and said " Let's get you warm again. " He crawled really close to me so I had his cheast and stomach pressed against my back and his arm around me and his legs plait together with mine and it was really cozy and warm. I feelt his lips against my shoulder and I smiled and said " Before I went to bed tonight I saw a falling star and I wish something and I think my wish just got granted. " He kissed my shoulder again and said " I love you with all my heart and I always will. " I stroke his hand and smiled and said " I Love you too more then life itself. " Then Jensen said " So did you and Madde had a good time when you were out? " I smiled and said " Yes, it was great to hang out with Madde again like back in the days even thougt Imaight not been the best friend.. " Jensen said " Why not? " sign and said " because I was so worried about you and dennie.. " Jensen said " It's nothing to worry about I can take care of our daugter. " I smiled and said " I know that and next time I will just let go and have fun with her and be her best friend as I want to be. " Jensen said " Sounds good, but not to much fun. " I laughed and said " Don't worry, I just have to ask what where you thinking when Lars answerd? Did you get jealous? " He didn't answer so I laughed and said " It's okay I would also had gotten jealous if you where out and a woman answer your phone, you know I'm just as jealous as you are. " He laughed and said " I know, just so you know I'm not going any where either. " I smiled and kissed his arm and said " Glad to hear that. " He kissed my shoulder and said " so how drunk where you? " this time I didn't answer and he said " So drunk?" I sign and said " I didn't feel that drunk but according to Madde I was totally wasted so I don't know.. sorry " He said " So how many guys where flirting with you? " I said " A few.. but I didn't flirt back. " He said " I can't blame them, who wouldn't flirt with a woman like you?" I smiled and Jensen kissed my neck and then he said " Are you starting to get warmer? " I said " Yes, thanks. But I always get ot just by feeling your body aginst mine so it would be weird if I didn't. " He lauged and said " My little horndog!" I laughed and said " Shut up!" He laughed and said " Feel my body against yours, feel how I touch you, your back, your stomach, your face. How I undresses you and started to carness your boobs and kiss your neck.. " I hit it arm that was around me and said " Shut up! Otherwise I will throw myself at you! " He laughed and then I feelt his nose aginst my neck and he said " I have missed you so much this days, everything about you and it feels so great to breath in your scentence right now and be able to touch you and kiss you again. " I smiled and said " I have missed you too and you have no idea how hard it was for me not to run to you and try to make evrything okay I wanted to wait and let you come to me. " his nose was still touching my neck and his lips pressed against my neck and said " Good that let me suffer a little I deserved that.. do you want to know something? It's kind of embarrassing.. " I took his hand and said " Of course I do if you want to tell me. And you should never feel embarrest infront of me, I love you and nothing will change that just tell me. " He started to play with my fingers and said " When you and Madde was out partying I really really missed you..so I put Dennie to sleep and walked into our room and into your closet... this is so embarrassing.. anyway I picked up a top from your closet and then I lied down on your side of the bed and tears started to pour down my eyes and.. I laied there crying in your top for hours and breathing in your smell from the top and from the bed.. I missed you so much... " I smiled and tured around so I lied face to face with him and I stroke his cheek and said " I don't think that is embarrassing I think it's adorble. I have to say that you and Madde are the most emotional persons I know and you two are the people I love the most, and that emotional thing you two have makes you guys you and that makes me love you so don't change that not ever." He smiled and I said " Do you want to know something that I haven't told anyone before not even Madde? " He smiled and said " Yeah if you trust me with it. " I smiled and said " I trust you with my life so yeah I trust you enough to know about this. But don't expect anything big now because it really is nothing. " He took my hand and I said " When we was broken up and then I mean that time after Kian and all that. When you went back to home you forgot a t-shirt here.. so every night before I went to bed I always sat there holding it and breathing in your scentce and for the first few weeks I cried alot to but then I just sat there breating in you which made me wish you where there. And when I got sick I brought it with me to the hospitle and hide it in one of my bags and every night when Emil was a sleep I picked it up and lied there dreaming of you. Even when I meet Henrik and almost feel in love with him I still picked up your shirt when he was a sleep and when me and Madde was on Mallorca I brough it with me in my hand baggage because I was so afried that if my bags would disappear that your shirt would too... and everything on that hotle and sometimes mornings when Madde was in the shower I lied there with your shirt and when she walked out from the bathroom I quicky hide it and I could see that she looked at me confused but then I just changed subject.. but after a while it stopped smelling like you and that made me so sad and upset that I barely knew what to do and that was so hard because I really missed you.. " Jensen looked at me and he said " You did? Even with Henrik? " I nodded and I could see how happy he got and then he said " What shirt was that? Do you still have it? " I got up from bed and walked throw the cold room into the closet and got his t-shirt from it's hiding place and he said " I can't believe how much you are hiding in your closet! " I laughed and then I walked over to him and gave him his t-shirt and he said " I acutally missed this. " I said " I'm sorry I know I should just have send it over to you.. but I couldn't.. " he stroke my cheek and said " I understand... when I left that day and when me and Sean was packing I acutally stold something from you without him seeing it.. I'm sorry, but I just need to pretend that you where there with me.. " I smiled and said " What did you take? " He got up and into the closet and gave me my t-shirt and I said " Why did you just choose this instea dof anything else in there? " He said " Because you where wearing that top the first time I meet you in the cottage and my eyes just got drawen to you, that's why I choosed that. " I smiled and kissed him and said " You have a memory like no one else. " he laughed and said " That is just when it comes to you, I can tell you what you have been wearing on every date we have had or all days that it have happend something extra special. " I smiled and said " You are adorble do you know that, and I'm so happy to have you and never doubt that. I don't wany anyone else, I just want you, the man of my dreams and the love of my life, just you Jensen Ackles. And if you ever feel scared about something please talk to me then and tell me what's bothering you, because want to help you. " He nodded and said " And I just want you and next time I will talk to you I promise " I smiled and said " Good" He gave me a kiss and then Dennie woke up so I smilde and walked over to her and picked her up and walked into bathroom and feed her and then she fell a sleep again and I lied down next to Jensen and he laughed and teased me and said " So you have been milked now agian?" I hit his shoulder and said " Shut up!" He just laughed and I looked at the time and it was 6 in the morning so I said " Maybe we should sleep? " he nodded and gave me a kiss and said " Good night the most beautiful in the whole world. " I smiled and said " Good night, I love you. " He smiled and said " And I love you. " I put my head on his cheast and he stroke my back, but I still couldn't sleep.. I kissed Jensens cheast that I thought was asleep all reday but then he said " Are you still awake? " I nodded and said " I thought you where a sleep. " He kissed my head and said " No,you should sleep." I said " I know but I can't. " he kissed m hair once more and then he quitly started to sing for me that song he wrote me and I just smiled and before I know it I was a sleep.

When I woke up this morning I feelt someone gently touching my neck with his index finger I opend my eyes and I was still lying on his cheast and I smiled and pressed my lips against his cheast and I was so happy to wake up this close to him again it feelt amazing. I stroke his cheast and looked up at him and he was smiling and said " Good morning sexy!" I smiled and gave him a kiss and said " You are the sexy one." Jensen said " So what are you then? " I said " I don't know. " Jensen said " Can you just say thank you or kiss me or something when you give you a compliment? " I didn't answer and he said " You are so gorgeous and beautiful woman both on the out and inside. You are considerate, sweet, carring, stronge woman that cares about everyone, you are almost to kind for your own good and you are just so easy to love and you love everybody, and I'm so luck and thankfull to have a wonderful woman like you by myside. " I sign and said " Thanks you... " Jensen said " Was it that hard? " I said " Yes it was.. " Jensen kissed me and said " I really mean what I said. " I nodded and then I looked at the clock and it was almost 12 in the day and I was so suprised that Dennie still was a sleep so I looked over to her cribe and she wasn't there!! I said worried " Where is Dennie?!!" Jensen tured around and looked at the crib and then both of us just rushed up from the bed and downstairs, me in just my pantis and top and Jensen in his boxers. We ran into the kitchen and then we sat mum sitting there holding Dennie and mum and Johan looked at us like where crazy and Johan said " What's wrong? " I said stressed up " We thought Dennie was gone!" Mum said " How? She climed out herself? " I sign and said " no... why did you come and get here? " Mum said " I went to the pare room to talk to Jensen and convince him to talk to you but then he wasn't there so I thought I go to you and see how you was doing and then I saw you and Jensen in bed together sleeping and you look so cute and then I saw Dennie was awake so I thought I was going to let you guys sleep. " I smiled and walked over to her and hugged her and said " Thank you mum. " She kissed my cheek and let go and she said " I take care of her go and get dressed. " I laughed and walked over to Jensen and kissed him and took his hand and mum and Johan smiled and Johan said " I'm so happy that you are friends again " Jensen said " So am I. " Then he walked over to mum and hugged her and then Johan and said " I'm so sorry for hurting all of you and espeially your daughther, but I do trust her, I really do. " Mum smiled and said " Thank you Jensen. " He nooded and walked back to me and grabbed my hand and we walked up stairs where we got a little more clothes. Then we meet Jared on our way downstiars and he said " So you two are okay now? " I smiled and said " We are so much more then okay" He smiled and nodded and I walked over to him and hugged him and said " Thank you for last night. " he said " no problem sweeti " Then I walekd back to Jensen and kissed him and Jared said " Do you know it Madde came home last night? " We shocked our head and Jared walked into the kitchen to eat and so did Jensen and I said I would be back soon and I walked back upstairs because I wasn't sure but i had a feeling that I had heard something liek 7 in the morning or so.

I walked into the spare rooms and in the third room I saw some blonde hair on the a pillow and I walked closer and and saw Zara there too. And they seemd to have a really cuddling time they where like spooning each other, Madde helped her arms around Zara and I shocked my head but they where really cute. I clearned my throwt and Madde movied a little and after a while she opend her eyes and looked at me tired and with eyes of a hang over woman an dthen she hit Zaras arm a little and h slowly woke up and put her own hand on hear head and she looked like she had a bad hang over too. I laughed at them and Madde just looked at me angry and I sat down on the bed and said " So how was your night? or do I even want to know? " Zara moan and said " Probaly not.. God my head hurts.. " Madde said " Mine too.. I need coffie and aspirin.. " Zara said " Me too. " I just shocked my head and left before they was going to ask me to get it to them. I walked downstairs and sat down next to Jensen and said " Madde and Zara is lying in the bed in the red spare room. " Jared rused up from his chair and said " togethere?!" then he ran off, I laughed and said " Not that togethere. " Everyone else laughed too and after 10 minuts Jared came back and looked disappointed and satd down and cointinued eating. Then two ghosts stumbling in the kitchen in just there underwear and all teh guys was looking at them and they sat down and they looked almost death and Johan said " A good night? " Both Zara and Madde nodded and and they staretd to drink coffiee and they was so hang over that it was crazy and I kissed Jensen and Zara and Madde looked at me with tired eyes and said " So you two are good? " I nodded and Madde said to Zara " Then we know what those to have done all night. " Zara nodded and neither me and Jensen had the engery to say it was not true. After breakfast I looked at Zara and said " Do you want me to drive you home?" Zara nodded and said " Thanks. " Then she looked at Madde and said " Are you coming over later then? " Madde nodded " Are we going to kick nicky out? " Zara said " No, let him be. We can look ourself in to our movie room and just lyi there all day. " Madde nodded and said " Sounds good. " Zara slowly walked upstiars and she came downstairs after a while and we went into a car and drove over to there house.

When we got there I followed her insied and Kim came walked towards us and she gave Zara a hug and I could see how she was doing her best not to look awful and when Kim let go Nicky walked into the kitchen and looked at her and laughed and said " You look good!" and Zara just told him to shut up. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the lips and I said " So Nicky you are in a better mood today? " He looked at me and said " yeah sorry fot last time " I nodded and he walked into the livingroom and after a while Madde knocked on the door and walked into the kitchen and she looked just as death as zara and I said " How did you got here? " Madde said " Mum. " I nodded and I said goodbye to them and they walked down to the basment to lock themself in.
When I got home I went upstairs and put on my jogging clothes and walked down starirs and said good bye to Jensen and he still looked just as chocked but I didn't care and I took Ebba with me and went out running. In teh middle of my run I got a text message from Madde where it stood " We are going to Tony tomorrow, he is not done but he wants you to try it anyway. " I just sign and countinued running.

When I got home I walked straight into the bathroom and there I found Jensen sitting on his knees, he was bathing Dennie and he was supporting her with his hands meanwhile he was bathing here and Dennie loev water, so that must come from Jensen. Jensen looked at me and smiled and then at Dennie and said " Look who is here, mommy. " I smiled and walked over to them and stroe dennies wet head and she looked at me with her big bkue eyes and she smiled which made me smile. Then I kissed Jensens head and said " I need to take a shower. " He said " I'm not done yet with her I just put her here. " I nodded and pulled my top over my head and took of my sports bra and then my pants so I just had my pantis on. then Jensen tured his head around to say something to me but instead he just stared at my body especially my boobs, I shocked my head and laughed and bend down and kissed him and said " Stop staring at my boobs. " He said " It's hard not to they are huge. " I laughed and said " I know they are trust me. " He said " I trust you. " I laughed and said " Good. " Then I pulled my pantis down and he just looked at me even more and I just laughed and went into the shower and tured the water on and the glass walls was full with steam so I couldn't see if Jensen was staring at me, but I bet he was. :P When I was done I walked out of there and Jensne was still with Dennie and he looked at me and smiled and I just shocked my head and walked out of there to get dressed. Then Jensen walked out with Dennie and he wrapped her in in a towle and I smiled and walked over to her and kissed her head and she is just so soft which I love with babys. Jensen put on her bathrobe and then Johan said it was dinner so we went downstairs and Johan smiled when he saw Dennie and said " So cute!" I smiled and so did Jensen and we sat down to eat. We had a great diiner with laughing, talking and teasing, just a great family dinner :) But we missed Madde because she was still at Zaras and I bet she would stay there all day.

After dinner it didn't happend that much, me, Jensen and Jared lied down watching tv and it was a great time and we laughed and talked. I miss Madde but I bet she was having a great time too which she deserved :)
So I don't have that much to say now because it didn't happend that much.

Well I hope you have had a good day because I have had a amazing day I love Jensen and he means the world to me and I would never leave him, I would rather die myself.
Well I bet that Madde will tell you all about her and Zaras hard night out and maybe there hangover day too :P and then she will proably tell you about what happends at Tonys.
Well good night
Kisses Tove