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Hello!
I'm in a bad mood today, what are wrong with guys?! they have to be mentally ill or somthing like that! They think they have the right to do whatever they want and just they just think they can get away with it! But to be honest I'm acually more disappointed then angry with him, but maybe that is worse....
But the most upseting is that he don't even care beacause he hasen't even called to hear how it went. so now I just want to kill him, because he didn't have a good excuse either he just said that he hated hospitals, what the hell do you think I do!
I thought you where better than this, I had no idea....



I went to the hospital today to do my yearly cheackup so they can take ALOT of blood from me to see that my cancer haven't showed up again. And I hate this day, it makes me really nervous evrey year, and people who know me they know how I feel. But someone dosen't seem to care...
I asked him for about two weeks ago and then he answerd; ofcourse I will follow you.
But did he, noooo!
This morning he came to me and said that he coulden't come, I asked why, and he just said that he hated hospitals and he coulden't stand them. So I went by myself I'm so frustrate and confused over evreything I don't know what to do!
Why dose it have to be me or anybody for that reason...
You can be happy one day and the next day it can just be hell..
You can be alive oneday and death the morning after... everything can happens so fast you never know. I can't belive that they found something, with they I mean the doctors... they are not sure what it is, but something is it. My bloodtest showed something and it's probably not good I have prepare myself for that as good as I can...
And now I have to do more tests. and those times I will take someone with me that I know I can trust!
Do you want to know something? You people who are reading the blog is the first I have told this to, no one knows except you guys, but soon Madde will read this and evreyone will know... so I'm just enjoying the last minutes of silence and enjoying the last minutes of just me knowing. it's just depressing...

But in all this sadness, I can be a little positive. as you can see we have fixed up our blog, it's so hot now ;) it's very purple but it's nicer than before, we had real problems to fix it but we made it eventually ;P we suck haha :P

And madde about that guy, just because we are best friends dosen't mean I can't keep a little secret from you, you know that I'm good at that ;) one word, PETE! ;) haha
but to make it a little easyer for you I can tell you that his first letter in his last name is L ;) hehe good luck!

see ya, wish me good luck! kisses