Hello people!Today it's friday,it's an very unusual calm friday for use.Like madde wrote in the last inlay it have been a tough days both yesterday and today. I think I never seen this much tears from people especially not for just me! But I have to say that I think that you people have been a little too extrem! I haven't even cryed a teardrop so like I said it is a little bit to much!!
But I think this day have been worse then yesterday because it feels like now the biggest shock have gone by for my family.
My mum haven't said that much yet so that's no good maybe... and my dad I haven't even heard from, not that big of supriseI didn't expect anything else...
Sean is just upset and telling me how sorry he is for not supporting me that day in the hopspital, I haven really forgiven him yet but I hope I can do that soon..
Jensen is just trying to be helpful allday long he's a sweetie!My siblings are just afrid and the youngest ones dosen't really understand...
And Madde have follow me like a tail allday long and just cryed and said how much she loves me, that sweet but kind of annoying too.It's not like I'm going to die, I don't think so anyway...
Just let me escape the chemotherapy Í just hate it, to feel sick for days, to be tierd all the time and worsed of all loseing all my hairI don't want a wig, I will rather die!
Oh sorry I don't really mean that, bad joke on bad day.
But all of this I will find out on tuesday now I just have horrible weekend ahead of me to be worried at then I will know finally...and this time I will bring Madde to the hospital if she want to go with me.. and madde no crying when we are with the doctors plz ;)
And Madde if i die, plz don't kill yourself honey that would not help me at all, then I need you to be strong and take care of all people that I love, and if you kill yourself then I'm going to feel guilty beacuse it would feel like I killed you, I don't want to be the reason to have killed the person that I love most in the whole world then I never could forgive myself, and think about johnny and jared and all the other sexy guys you haven't hade sex with yet, you would miss that, so don't do it baby! promies me that?
Btw madde I'm sorry that I didn't tell you right away I just diden't know how, because I know how you would take it, I'm sorry sweetheart! and I love you to so much!
But I just have to say that I love Seans black eye;) haha I know I can trust you!
Next friday It's going to be party because I can't drink if I have to take some kind of medicine, party on friday, right babe? ;) the last party night maybe!
That's all from me today and tomorrow my little cry baby will blogg, and I will be back on sunday, and on tuesday I will update you about my hospital visit.
see ya, I don't wanna be ya!
Kiss
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