how are you doing? I hope you are as happy as me or even more happy :D
I just have to start off with saying that Tove is doing fine, she is still at the hospital and will have to stay there for like another week or something but then she will be home and I'm going to spoil her sooooo bad! It's going to be great! I miss her alot.
My new hero Emil, Toves little brother, is still at the hospital too and he is also doing great. He really wants to go home and so he will in a few days. He will behome before Tove becasue it's more risky for her to come home with the cancer and all. I'm going to thank him for saving Toves life by taking him to the Wasa museeum (he is so fascinated with history) and them I'm going to buy him whatever he wants :D He is going to love me.. :D
I can't wait till Tove comes home, and untill she is all healthy again bcause we are going out to party!! and we are going to party like crazy and hook up with boys. It's going to be great, but non of that untill Toves is fit for fight ;P
I know you guys must be wondering about that trip to Sligo and Ireland... I have talked alittle more with the lads (being Mark, Nicky, Shane and Kian) and I know that the best thing I can do for myself and for the people around me is to follow them to Sligo. I know you think I'm a horrible person who just leaves her bestfriend but i wont. I told the lads that I don't want to go untill I'm sure Tove is aboslutley fine and that she is back home, safe and sound. They understood that and said that we could wait. I have told Tove that she can come with me but I don't think she is up for it.
I supposed you are wondering why I have to go but it's because Tove is always telling me to find myself again and I really want to do that. I don't know if the person i looking for is in Ireland but I know that if I can go somewhere where noone knows me and about everything I have done and not then I might be able to get back some of that lost self-confidence. Nicky is supporting me 100% and stands by my side all the time which is great and I would never be able to get back to the person I used to be without him, and not with out Tove either for that matter. I just wish jared and Johnny could be here and support me too but I guess that is to much to ask...
Talking about Jared and Johnny... I havn't heard from them since they left and I'm abit worried about them. I don't know why but I just want to make sure they are okay. So guys, plz if you are reading this, plz call me or text me and tell me you are okay and landed safe and sound in L.A. I can't take not knowing, it's killing me.
I know I shouldn't care about them and I think Tove is going to get mad at me for worrying about them but I can't help it. I still love them and I do still have faith in them doing the right thing. Okay, Tove has said that what they did was for the best but still... Us breaking up doesn't meen I'm just going to cut them out of my life and I hope it doesn't meen that to them either. I just wish they would call me....
Maybe I should tell you about today... or let's start at last night, shall we...
I was going to bed and as you know i'm sleeping alone for the first time in years so it's so empty when there is no one there. I ouldn't sleep and tossed and turned for like hours before I got up and walked to Nicos room. (He has moved into a room here at the house because Zara is out on a small tour with Carry Love and he didn't wanna live alone and he wanted to be close to me if I needed him) So I knocked on his door at 3am and a sleepy, messy haired man opened the door and he just looked at me and then stept to the side so I could walk in. I crawled into bed and he came to bed to and put is arm around me and I fell asleep as a baby, feeling so safe, warm and comfy. I woke up before him and I just lied there looking at him for like a half an hour before he slowly opened his eyes and gave me one of his beautiful smiles.
I had allready planed to go and see Tove and Nico asked if I wanted him so come. I just said that it was up to him so after a few hours we went to the hospital. I accually wanted some alone-time with Tove to talk to her and I finelly got that when Nicky got thirsty. I told her everything about where I was sleeping and then i told her about my plans about Sligo. She got abit disappointed but I just told her that it's something I have to do and she understood. I made the decision of not telling her about my worry for jared and johnny but I guess I will hear her thoughts about that later when she reads this.
I just got home from the hospital now. I'm like spending all my time there, but it's just because I want to be there for Tove and I want to make sure she is okay. And another thing!! I got to meet that hot doctor Tove were taling about in her inlay the other day! And I can confirm that he was smoking hot!!! OMG!!! I had to restrain myself to not start flirting with him uncontrollable. He was just so gorgeous!! Okay... let's try to but the pictures of him far away in our minds and then pick them out at some other occasion ;)
I don't really know what else to tell you guys... I think I'm going to join Lukas, Tobbe, Nico, Kian, Mark and Shane who are watching "Horton hears a Who" :P I love it that they are watching animated movies although they are adults! They still have a kid in them ;P
Tove will blogg tomorrow and then you will hear everything about that hot doctor ;P
Take care
Love
Madde
So you are going to spolied ME! yeah right we will see about that ;) haha
ReplyDeleteMadde he alreday loves you! you don't have to buy him tings, that is my assignment ;P haha but you have sxome of yur self-confident back, and that's wonderful :D
But you will fall a sleep at the museum!!!! but he will love it :) yu are so nice to my brother more then I am! :P hah
Madde ofcouse yu should go I UNDERSTAND HONEY! :)
You was asolutly right! I'm a little mad, do you really thik it would be esayer for all of you if you talk?! that's just stupied!
I told you tah he was hot!!!!! grrrr
I just have to ask what occasions? ;) haha
and you wheer right about my beeing mad at you, so it was god that you diden't tell me when you was at the hosptal bece I'm not allowd to sream and get angrey, so don't do anthing stupid now! ;P
Say helleo to the guys from me, not to kian but evreybody else :P haha
and ofcouse I will write aboyt docter sexy ;)
Yeah i will! I promis you that! :D
ReplyDeleteyeah well, it can't hurt to show him that I appreciate what he has done for you :) yeah I know :D
That I know too but I hope that there are a hot guy working there or soimething so I can keep an eye on him insted of all the history stuff :P yeah well someone has too ;)
are you sure!? :D I really would like it if you came with me! :D
I know but I'm just worried!
yah I know you told me :P
haha well like if you have sex with an ugly dude ;P
yeah I knowthat'swhy I didn't tell you at the hospital... but don't worry about me, I'm fine :)
haha I will say hi to everyone from you, Kian aswell :P you can't keep hiding from him!
sounds good ;)I want ditails ;P
I don't truly belive you ;D hhaa
ReplyDeleteno it can't! you are so sweeit to him :)
I will always owe him ;)
yeah we can hope that, but it's probably only old guys there ;P hahah
yeah that's true, maybe I should be nicer to him ;P
we will see :)
yeah yeah if you say so, but I stil don't like it!
I did ;)
Madde, you can't think of someone else then!
haha btw you don't have sex ;) so what do you need him for? ;)
Madde you are never fine ;P you are always in trouble so I always worried about you, I feel like your mother sometimes ;P haha
YES I CAN! I can hind from him my whole life, just watch me! :P
I know you never do :P That is also one of you tiny problems ;P
ReplyDeleteI know, I am a sweetheart deep sown ;P hahaha
I know... me too for saving you :)
haha yeah probobly :P but if not I a lucky son of a bicth ;P
yeah I think you should ;P
yeah but if you dicide not to come than I will have to call you like every single hour of the day... unless I have found some hot irish lad ;P nooo I'm just kidding I will call you all the time... you are going to get so tired of me ;P
I know you don't..
hahah came from the right person :P you weren't even there when you had sex with Kian :P
haha yeah well... you never know ;P
haha oh plz don't!!! I'm fine and I have Nico and he is a very worrying person so I just need him to worry about me :P
No you can't!!!
well I'm often right about this thing ;) haha and btw you never belive me either so you can't say anything ;P
ReplyDeleteyes sometimes ou are ;) haha
naww you are so cute!
haha we can hope your lucky! ;)
hahah well he sietn't that nice to me either so ;P
you are not going to call me evrey hour that's just madness! :P
and yes you are going to fine a hot irish guy so you are not kidding ;)
and yes I will ;P hahah
yes you do! you know what I think about that!
yeah yeah ;P hahah kian was specal in a bad way, but I was there, physical anyway ;P haha
like I have told you I don't bevlive you with that sex thing ;P and if you are telling the trsut teh nyou don't need him ;)
if you are not doing on your own?! ;)
well I do!! ;P haha my little baby ;)
I have been worring about you for 22 yeras now so it isetn't easy to just stop! ;P
yes, I can, like I said watch me!
yeah well I'm oftenright about things too :P I know :P
ReplyDeleteyeah I know :D
:)
haha yeah lets :D
No but he is only 10 or whatever... he is a littlebrother, they are supposed to be like that :P
yeah well I'll show you :P okay, I will call you atleast 5 times a day :P
haha well we will see about that :P
haha yeah :P
yeah I know...
haha yes but you have to be there mentally too ;P
I know you don't but I havn't had sex in a week now :P I'm pretty proud of myself :P
Maybe not :P
Omg Tove! I don't like it like that you know ;P I like a second person to join me ;P
haha well you might if I start calling you mother ;P
yeah well, I believe it when i see it :P
that's just what you thinkgs sometimes ;P haha
ReplyDeletegood :)
yeah otherwise you will kill yourself :P haha
he's 12 and if he's not nice to me I'm not nice to him eiter! :P haha so it's he's decition ;)
yeah yeah if you say so, I think you will be to busessi to even think about me ;) hahah
yeah we will ;) hah
so just stop worring!
no I don't not with kian anyway! :P haha if it was someone else then maybe ;) haha
yeah you should ne :P haha
yeah maybe not :P
No , I don't know that! :P haha and what omg, a girl have to ask, right? ;) I don't know what you do when you are alone in your bedroom ;)
then I think I would worry more :P haha
Don't you think so my dauther? ;)
yes do that! why shoulden't I make it, I'm use to avoid people, so why don't you thinkI will make it? :P
That is what I KNOW darling. ;)
ReplyDeleteyeah :)
yeah probebly :P
okay fine 12... haha yeah well try to be abit nicer, he saved you life after all :P
No I wont I can promis you that!
yeah :)
I can't!
you have to be there all the way with everyone! :P
thanx :D
:P
yeah well usually I cry myself to sleep... atleast theese last few days... unless I have been sleeping next to Nico :)
omg plz stop :P
shut up!!!!!
because I'll make sure you two will end up talking and maybe some more ;P who knows ;P
Haha yeah yeah... right ;)
ReplyDelete:)
and that's no ggod!
yes 12 not 10!
I'm nice! I allowed him to sleep in my room diden't I? ;) that's nice, so I'm ALWAYS nice :P hahah
haha we will see about ´tha, want we ;) hahah
you have to outherwise you can never let go!
No I don't! :P haha that depends who he is ;P haha he has to be good for that ;)
NP :)
:P
No, I got al sad! you have to be happy! you can hid in the bathroom here at the hospital and then sleep with me!
hahaha are you worried? ;) hahah
haha maybe ;)
not going to happend, maybe a big maybe about that talking part but not something else! not even you can succed with that!
yes! :D
ReplyDeletehaha why not? :P
yeah okay.. 12 :P
No you are not always nice :P you can be a real bitch sometimes :P
yeah we will ;P
yeah well first i'm going to call them!
you are a sick person Tove :P
:P
yeah maybe but I think someone will notice... :/
yes I am :P
plz!
ahaha watch me ;P
like I said just in your hed ;) hah a
ReplyDeletebecuse then my brother will hate you and kill you :P haha
good ;P I don't think he will be so happy if you say he's 10!:p
not to him ;P just with you ;P hahah I think anyway :P
haha ;P
yeah yeah!
No, I'm not! you can't say that you haven done the same thing! :P
we can try!
haha good ;) haha
hehe we will se ;)
I don't think you will succed! If I know myself like I think I do!
Nopp :)
ReplyDeletehaha he can't hurt me :P I'm 24 and he is 12 :P I'm twice his age :P
hah fine, he is 12 :P
:O tahnx for that darling :P
Now I have called them :)
yes you are :P I have always been present during sex :P
haha sure :P
yea right :P
plz don't!
yeah well you don't know you like i do ;P
yes :P
ReplyDeletebut he can hit pretty hard sometimes, I have to say :P hah so watch it ;) haha yes you are, think about h0ow old we are going to be when he's 24! :P
yes he is ;)
np, I love being bitchy with you ;) haha
I know!
NO!haha yeah right ;) haha
good some day after emil have left ;) hah a
haha ;P
HAHA yes I do :P haha
no :P
ReplyDeleteyeah well, I'm stronger than you, and I know boxing so ;)
omg!1 don't talk about that!!! we are going to be old!! :S horrible thought!
yeah :)
I know you do :P
What did you think about that?
yes! I have! tell e one time I havn't been present! :P
yeah :)
witch!
No you don't ;P
yes! :P
ReplyDeleteyeah but you whine more then me ;) haha and you can't hit him back!
yes.like 36!!!!
yes it is!
yeah ofcorse ;) you shoulde feel specil becaue I'm only like that with you ;)
you alreday know what I think about that!
I don't know, I'm uselly not in the room when you have sex ;) haha
well kian wasen't worth it ;)
witch for what?! :P
so what do you know about that I don't?! ;P
no :P
ReplyDeletehaha yeah but I like to whine :P why not?! :O Selfdifence! :P
Omg!!! terrifying!
yeah, I feel so honored ;P
yeah...
exacly so you can't say if i'm there or not! :P
yes he is! he is a very sweet guy. he is friendly and caring and loving... you can't deny that.
because you wont stop :P
Oh I know alot about you that you only deny :P
yes!
ReplyDeleteYeah we all know that! :P not against a 12 years old! hello are stuoied!
oh yeah! we are going to be old and ugly!!!
I know you would ;) haha
so don't ask!
yeah yeah, but I don't belive you :P haha
yes I can! ;P I don't know him and I don't want to know him!
oh you meen that :P
like? :P and then I meen more then kian that you think youo know
no... :)
ReplyDeletehaha yeah :P But what! it's his own fault if he hits me first :P
sry.. yeee, touchie...
you should ;P have any guy ever been unsatisfied when he has had sex with me?
Omg Tove you are such a little bitch sometimes! now I have to go and comfort Kian, the sweetheart.
yeah :P
I can't say that because then you would know stupid :P
give up! :P
ReplyDeleteyou clerly don't understand that with not hiting the youger once ;) haha
yes
I don't no I don't ask them! ;P haha and what has that to do with this? :P
well yes I'm just saying the truth and he dosen't know anything about this ;P
but then I don't belive you ;)
No I don't want to :P
ReplyDeletehaah no I don't :P he hit me i hit him :P easy :P he should learn :P
God! :P
hahaha well you can tell from thier faces ;P and all the time they call me when I don't even want to talk to them :S :P well, you have to be there fullely for them to be completley satisfied :P
He is a real sweetheart and you are just blind! :P
fine don't do that then but it's facts :P
me neiter! :P
ReplyDeletewell they you have to deal with me ;P because now one hits my brother, more then me :P
haha well often it's you more satisfied then the guys I think ;) hah you are such a man! :P well I don't care about them I jsut care baout myself ;) haha don't you? ;)
no you are just imagend it :P
yeah that's jsut what you think :P
Fine then don't :P
ReplyDelete:O that ísn't fair! :P
haha yeah? :P
haha yeah I know :P
haha of course I care more about me then them ;P If i don't love them that is :P
No I'm not! why would I?
That is what i know sweetheart ;P
fine!
ReplyDeletethat's so fair! :P haha I can't hit nicklas or linus :P
Oh yeah have you heard youself during the sex and after? :P hah so yes I thinkso :P
haha good :P
haha because the moste importen is to have a great time yourself ;) haha
because you haven't had sex with him yet, and like I said he has cheated
yeah right!
FINE!
ReplyDeleteNo it's not :P Of course you can :P if they try to hit you first :P
No it's hard to hear you self over all the nioses the lads are doing ;P
yeah :P
haha yeah of course ;P
you are such a prudish little girl :P
yeah :P
yes fine!
ReplyDeletewell that's just because they are older you can't hit a 12 year old that's just not really mature :P
hah
haha Madde! but I thinnk you are wosre then them :P
I want sex! ;P
Ofcousre I'm I was raised by kristina :P haha
yeah...
ReplyDeleteNo I would let you hit them even if the were 12 :P
haha well am I really mature? :P
hahaha oh really :P
me too!!
haha true ;P
that's because you don't love your brothers like I do! ;P hahaha
ReplyDeleteokay you made your point clear :P haha so the aswer is no ;P
but who is, I'm not :P
hahha yesh! I just think you making to much noice to hear yourself :P haha maybe I should record it so you can hear :P or maybe you have allreday done a porn movie so you have allreday heard it ;) haha what do I know :P
well you have had sex now!!
yes so then I think like her too sometimes :P haha
do you wanna change? ;)
hahah maybe true :P
ReplyDeletehaha exacly :P
hahah you think so :P
okay do that :P no that is embarrassing :P
haha no I havn't actully :P
yeah and it was so nice!! :D
haha yeah true :P No i don't :P I like myself :P
haha yeah I think so ;P but is kind of sad too
ReplyDeletebut I'm more matur then you anyway ;P haha
Oh yeah I do!! You should hear yourself! :P
haha maybe I will I can anywhere in the house because I will hear you anyway :P I think before you die you have done a porno movie, hallo it's you :P haha just wait you will ;)
was it just nice? :P
well I don't like my mother al the time or nytime alomst :P she have teach me some weird things in life :P
haha yeah well thay are dicks :P
ReplyDeleteNopp :P
haha fine :P
hahahah really :P I'd better try and shut up then :] :P
haha yeah well we'll see about that :P
haha okay it was great :D
haha yeah she has :P
no they aren't! they are nice:) they just have dicks ;P
ReplyDeletewell yes I'm ;P
yes you better :P because you can think that it's some kind of orgiparty going on here :P haha
haha yeah we will ;P buT i hink you will ;P
haha good :P
well she is kind of weird so :P
haha well you just think they are nice beacuse they arn't your borthers ;P
ReplyDeletenopp :P
hahaha ooops :P
haha I doubt it :P
yeah ;P
yeah she is :P do you remember when she dated Sven-Åke! that was crazy!
haha yeah probably and they are hot so so they are not dicks ;P haha
ReplyDeleteso you mean that you are more matur then me? :P
yes ooops I did it again ;P haha buT I don't hink you can stop ;P
I don't :P
yeah that was really crazy! all here guys are crazy! :P the only one I like was lenneart and was gay :P