But this is real

Hello!

Today it's sunday, the last day in the week. I know I'm smart to know that, but I'm acutally not blond ;)

This morning Jensen parents arrived, which I have been worried about all week, and I will probly be worried intill they go home. Because I know me and I will probaly embarrasse myself ins some way, but let's just hope not!

Mum was pick up Jensen this morning her at the hopspital so he could follow her to picke his parents up at the airport. So I got to be by myself for like an hour or so and under that time I all reday could feel how bodring it was going to be when Jensen left to go home, I would espiceally miss our mornigs and the nights too. So I think it will become a lot of phone calles instead to Jensen and to Madde. And Madde thinks that Jensen should get illegal again and sneak in to sleep with me, which I wouldn't mind ;) Then we can be all alone and not get interrupted everytime we do something ;) haha Even thought it's for the best, but then we just have to control ourselfs ;P

Well anyway after an hour or so mum walked throw the door and after came Alan and Donna and ofcourse my sexy boyfreind too, I have to say it still feels kind of weird to call him my boyfriend but I do love it! Anyway Donna gave me a big hug and said "Hello sweety! Have missed you" and Alan also gave me a hug and said " As beautiful as always" I said " well... thanks" Jensen was smiling and I could see he was really happy they where here, he walked to me and gave me a long kiss on the lips and I put my hand on the back of his head to make the kiss alittle more intence and closer. When our lips separated, we looked around at our parents and everyone was looking at us with a big smile on there faces. Jensen just asked " What?" But they didn't anwswer they just conutine smiling. Jensen satt down next to me on the bed and took my hand. Krisen gave me a hug and said she had to go because she needed to get to some meeting at work for a couple off hours. But Madde was here too if they wanted a ride home. they had meet her in the hall I looked confused and asked " So where is she?Why isn't she coing in?" Krisen rolled her eyes and said " Where do you think, with some guy ofcourse" I laught and

said " Ofcourse, I shouldn't even be suprised" After a few minuts Madde walked throw the door and she gave me a hug and I whipser in her ears and asked how she was feeling, she just said I shouldn't worry about her right now. I don' t know if that's good or bad..

I lauhgt and asked " Who was the guy?" She said " What guy? Oh that one in the hall, it was just Chris " I rest an eyebrow and said " Just chris?" She looked at me angry and changed subject. She asked Jensen how he was doing and he said " I'm feeling absolutely perfect" I smiled and said " Yuo are absolutely perfect" He just gave me a fast kiss instead of answering.

Donna asked how I was doing, so I told them that I wasn't doing so good and the pain had been getting worse for everyday, but I should be fine soon and hopefully be home in a week or so.

At lunch time Jensen went down to eat something with Donna and Alan and Madde followed them too. So I got alone for a while, then Henrik showed up he gave me a hug and he satt down and talked to me. He acutally asked how Jensen felt about us going to Malmö alone, which acutally suprise me that he cared about that. I told him that he wasn't happy about is but he didn't really have another choose so he just have to accepte it. Then he asked why Madde hated him so much and mustly juct ignore him when they meet, and he said " It's not like I have done anything to her" I said " You are appently don't know how a woman think, the thing is she dosn't like you because you hurt me. But I don't know why she i still angry about that and why she dosn't trust you, but It's sometimes hard to know what's going on in that brain off hers" He laught and said " Yeah that's maybe true" Then Jensen, Donna, Alan and Madde came back. I could se right the way that Madde and Jensen didn't like that Henrik was sitting on my bed. Henrik said hello to Donna and Aland then he said he had to go.

Jensen had with him a wheelchair and told him that they was plaining to go to the park who was just behind the hospital. Jensen said " And we thought you should come it's great weather outside and it was weeks ago you got freash air. " I said " Don't you know me? Because I would never go out in a wheelchaire with people around. I can walked over there it's not that far and you will help me" Jensen looked worried and said " Honey you shouldn't walk" I said " Well then I'll will stay here" He kissed me and said " Tove come on! Okay fine, walked then" I smiled and said " Good, just let me change I can't look like this" Jensen said " You don't have to change you look amazing like always" I laught and said " Well your oppintion dosn't count because you always think I look amazing, even if I should wear a cow costum" He laught and said " You do!" I just smiled.

When I was done we started to walked outside Jensen had he's arm around me to help. When we had gotten to the elevators I remebered that I had forgette my phone and sweeit as Jensen is he walked back to get it. When he came back he told me that Eddie had just called on it but he hadn't picked up, I think Jensen finally starting to realize what kind of idoit Eddie is.

When we got outsid it was really hot! We went to the park and sat down.I could feel that Jensen was kindof right about that walking thing, because it hurted like hell and I got really tierd, but I didn't admit that.

Well anyway Maddes phone rang and it was Jared who was asking where we was. So after 10minuts he joined us. He gave Donna and Alan a hug to say hello and sat down next to Madde.

Jensens dad asked Madde and Jared if they where still broken up, Madde said " Yes we are just friends" Both me and Jensen looked at them with a meningful look.
All six of us talked afor a while and had a great time, Jensen put he's arm aound my shoulders and I gave him a kiss on his cheek, then Maddes pohone called again and it was Nico who asked if she wanted to go on a walk with him and talk. Madde looked at me and asked if it was okay, I laught and told her that I would be fine and that she didn't need to ask me about everything.

We talked a while long then it was almost time for dinner so Donna and Alan and ofcourse Jared had to go home to our place to eat, while me and Jensen was stuck here. We went up to our room again while there other went home, I just hope that the main subjcet isn't me and Jensen, but it wouldn't suprise me.

Well about me and Madde I have to say it feels good that she knows how I feel, it kind of a relived. I was just scared of telling her about it because it feel like she was just going to take Nicos side and just think I was stupied about all this. But she didn't, and I think everything will be good between us agian, and hopefully
soon. Since we desided to fix this when Nico and Zara and the kids are going to China, so then we have time. Because we really need to talk about this. But it will be fine or it must be fine, because I can't live without that girl in my life, she is amazing and I love her! She thinks she owe me something but that's not true at all, I think we are kind of even. It's not like I have been there more for her then she have for me. When everything have been screwed up and I have bed sad then she has always been there for me and when I was happy and wated to tell her something, then she was there for me, she has always been there for me, even this last few month but then it have been in a diffrent way , but I know I can always talk to her. And she also say she dosn't deserve me and our family, and Jared and Nico, which is the stupiedst thing I have heard! If she don't then I don't deserve them either, it's not like I'm better then Madde, I'm have done so many things which I shouldn't off done, so I'm not at all better! So Madde don't say that! I love you and we will fix this!

Mum called me tonight and said she was so happy that Madde had talked to her yesterday, and she just hope she would countinue with that. She was glad that she had really open up to her like she had never done before and had trusted her enough to talk to her even though it was tuff things to talk about. I told her that I thought Madde had liked it too even though she dosn't really want to admit it. But I know Madde and one of the best things she know is to piss Krisen off, Madde has always done that. Okay I can't say I have always been inecent in all that, but somtiems, but it is pretty fun :P hahah

I called Nico today to apologize for calling him a dick and for getting so angry with him yesterday. He said it was okay and he know I was just worried. But i todl him that i didn't take anything back about that I have told him that day, he said he knew that.

But he told me that he would never leave madde, he would always be there for her, even if I disagreed. I didn't want to agrue so we hang up. But I just want him to not speand as much time with her but I don't want him to leave her for good, but soon Zara will be home and then hopefully everything will get fixed.

Like I said tomorrow Jensen is going home, which I hate more then anything in the world, since I want to speand every minut with him and epsically at night, but It will be fine I hope.

I will miss him anyway. I know I have said that twice know but I just had too :P

That's all I have to write today since it havn't happend that much, but hopefully it will be a better inlay on Tuesday.

You will hear from madde Tomorrow.

Take care!

Kisses

Tove