Me..

Hey guys!
I can tell you that I'm acutally feeling alittle better, I don't have as much pain, so that's good! But it still hurtes but it's going at the right directions. :D

But I have had a really boring night! Since Jensen went home yesterday. Like useally I haven't sleeped anything tonight eiether, and this night I couldn't look at Jensens gorgeuse face or talk to him. I thought about calling him to talk, but then I though I would let him sleep the first night at home, so I read a book instead the whole night, or I read two books almost, I read out one book and then I read more then half of another book. That's was why Madde thinks I'm a geek I think, just becaue I love to read. When we was younger I was even worse, then I would rather read than to party and meet guys, and she thought I was weird and stupied. So it often ended up with that she forced me to go to a party or something.

Well anyway Jensen came by this morning and asked how my night had been, and I told him that I had been reading books, and that I didn't want to wake him up.
He kissed me and said " Stupied Tove, of course you should call me honey, when ever you want. Promis to call me next time?" I promised him that. Then he asked " Do you want me to speand the night here?" I smiled and said " Yes I do" I gave him a long kiss as a thank you. Then he strok my arm with he's hand and start to kiss me agian. While we was making out, Krisen,Johan, Donna and Alan came by. But we was so busy with each other so we didn't even notice that they walked into my room. Then we heard Johans voice saying" Get a room!" Both me and Jensen just stoped what we was doing, and looked at each other and laught for ourself then we turned our heads and looked at our parents. Then I said " ehh Hi.. and btw we all redy have a room we are in it. " Then Krisen said " Sorry for interupting you, but it's not liek you where going to have sex in here anyone can walked in the room" Jensen said " No of course not " I looked at Jensen and gave him a meningful smile and he smiled back at me.
haha my mum should die if she knew what kind of places I have had sex at especially this year.
Then Alan said to me" We was acutally going to borrow Jensen for a while now to do some manly things, if that's okay with you?" I laughed and said " Yeah take him! But what are you going to do with him?" Alan said " Are you worried? We will be nice to him, I promis you will get him back. And I want tell you what we will do, you have to be a guy to know" I laughed and said good!" Jensen stood up and gave me a kiss goodbye, and when we let go everyone was looking at us and smiling, I don't get that. Apperntly they always look funny when we kiss, Madde said that anyway, but I don't really know why :P
Before Jensen walked thro wthe door he said " I love you!" I smiled and said " I love you more! " He walked out the door but before it gor closed I heard him say out in the hall " Tove not possible!" Then I coulden't aruge back since the door closed and I think that was the whole plane with it!

So now it was just me, Krisen and Donna here in my room. Donna said " So what are the women going to do then?" I laughed and said " Good qustion! What dose women do? talk about guys?" Krisen and Donna laughed and then henrik walked throw the door and said " How are you ladis doing?". Krisen and Donna laught and said " Fine".He wanted to cheack my wound again he asked if I could take off my shirt, so I did and he chanced the badage then he gave me a smile and walked out of there. When the door closed Donna said " If we are going to talk guys then your docter is super hot! He had to have a great body!" I smiled and said " Yeah he is super hot and a great body but say that to Jensen" Then she said " Jensen have to tolerant that you think other guys are hot too" I said " Wel yeah I know but dose that rule count even if I have dated him?" She said suprised" Eh.. maybe not" Then I changed subject and asked mum about Jess" What is Jess up to she hasn't answer when I have called her this whole week and she hasn't called back either. Yeah I know that I
yelled at her the last time I saw her but I didn't say something that teriible so she dosn't want to talk to me, I don't get it" Krisen said " I don't know honey, she has just been doing the useally, do you want me to talk to her?" I nodded and said it was okay. Then mums phone called and it was her new partner from work who wanted her to come to the staion for a while, so she said " I have to go, Donna do you want to stay or follow me?" She looked at me and smiled and said " No I want to hang out with my wounderful daughter in law " Mum smiled and said good bye to us.

Then I said " Well then we where just two" She smiled and said " Tove you know I love you right? And that you are the most amazing thing that have happend to my son and I would love if you to got married, but I know you said no, why is that?" I had just waited on this qustion.
I said " I know and I love you too, and your son is the best that have ever happend
to me too, and I do love him so much, but marriage isn't for me. I don't really belive in it" She said " that's not good because you would be the most beautiful bride alive, with your hair coulor and a white amazing dress, and I think you two will be very happy togeher" I said " yeah..I don't really agree but thanks. I know we would but do we really have to be married to be that?" She smiled and said " Madde showed me pitures from your wedding with Tobbe and you looked absolutely stunning, it was breathtaking to see you. No ofcousre you don't have to get married but I know Jensen would love it, and I'm glad he's not giving up" I said " yeah whatever, thanks.
Yeah well we just have to see what happends. " She took my right hand in hers and said " Tove you must start beliving that you are beautiful, because you are. " Then she looked down on my hand and said " Intressting ring" I smiled and said " Yeah it's from Jensen " I told her the story behind it, she smiled and said " So cute!" And Madde no it's not an engagedment ring! And you want dear tell them that! Then we talked about Jensen and when he was a teenager so now I know alot of funny things about him and that I can use against him ;P haha

Then the men came back and Jensen walked straight up to me and gave me a kiss,then Johan took, Alan and Donna home to prepere dinner but Jensen stayed around, I askd him what they had been doing but he just said " Nothing" I hate when he dosn't want to tell me.
Then it knocked on the door and we heard Jareds vouce saying " Can we come in or are you naked on top of each other?" We told them to come in. Then Madde said " we just have to make sure you are decent, so we don't get another suprise, even though my was kind of nice" Madde looked at me and gave me a chessy smile, Jensen asked " What was that? HOw much did you see?!" Madde looked at me and we started to laugh. Jensen just said " Tell me?! " We just laught even more then Madde said " You have really sexy ass and about " mini Jensen" Tove had told me before that it was great but not that GREAT!!" Then me and Madde laughed again! Jensen said " Do you talk about that?!" Then we laught evev more and said " Of course, we have to discusse if it something to keep or not" Then Jared said " What he Madde told you about me?" laught and said " What do you think?" He said " Well I think she had said that I have the biggest ever and the best thing she is ever had" Me and Madde laught so much so the tears started to run, I said " The person you decribe is Criss, you are also great but you don't have the biggest" I havn't laught so much in ages I think. Jared said " WHAT?!! Tove don't you wnat to look and see that I'm right!!" " It took a while befoer I could answer because I laught so much! Then I said " No thank you, I rather not!" Then Madde asked " Don't you talk about us?" They good all quit and looked at each other and said " no!" Me and Madde looked at eachter and then at them and said " Tell us!!" They just said " no!!" Madde said " Well we will get it out off you trust us!" Jared said " how?" Madde smiled and said " Well we can lock our door so you two can't get inside or we can just convince you in another way! But we will find out!" Then me and Madde laught even more.

Madde talked to me yesterday that she wants me and Nico to become friends and not just fight.
I think it will be really hard since we have so diffrent oppiniens and not me or Nico are afrid to show them either. And I'm not going to stop thinking what I'm thing which is that I think Nico should stay away from Madde alittle and not see her as much, but he things he should be by her side all the time not just sleep with her. And Madde thinks ofcourse as Nico because she is so afrid of being without him.She wants me and Nico to try being freinds, and I will try my best but it's not going to be easy and I don't promis anything.

Jensen came by a few minust before ten so he could hide in the bathroom, when Hnerik left he came out and laied next to me. I asked him what the main subjec thad been tonight at dinner he laught and said " What do you think?" I said " you and me again?" He laught and said " No mostly just you" I looked at him and said " What?! What did you talk about?!" He smiled and tried to give me a kiss, but I just said " Tell me instead!" He smiled and said " Well we talked about how amazing you are, to geting throw all this, first the cancer and then teh transplant and then teh kidnappping and then a new transplant. And ofcourse how beacutiful you are and that you don't think so, mum said she talked to you. And she think it's terribel that you don't think you look beautiful and then we all agreed, and then I talked about how much you mean for me and how much I love you I lamost had a whole speech I think, and Madde started to cry and so did Krisen and my mum" I said " Do you have to talk about me, I hate that! My mum cried? I'm kind of glad that I'm hear since you are talking about me all the time but I hate that I missed my mum cryin! She is like me that we hate to cry, so you must have said something good or bad, was it bad tears? Madde cried to anything so that dosn't say anything." He smiled and said " Yes we do because you are amazing, I just wis hyou knew that! I got chocked too that she cried and I hope it was happy tears " Then he kissed me and then I said " I'm just waiting for you all to starting discusse or sexlife or something!" He laught and said " How knows, they where acutally still talking when I left to come here, but your mum and my mum didn't like" I asked why and he said " Because it's against the law and all that, but I just todl them that they can't stop me for seeing my girlfriend and that I didn't care about the law when it was about you and that I could kill some one for you if you asked, so I said that i didn't care what they thought I was going anyway, because my girlfriend needed me then I would be there and nothing else would matter" I smiled and said " You are so sweeit! And so you know I feel the same way about you. But I have to say it sounds weird when you say girlfriend" He laught and said " I know honey! It still sound weird for you? well you just have to get use to it because soon you want be my
girlfreind anymore" It feel like my heart stopped when he said that, I thought he wanted to break up or somthing, I think he saw how scared I got because he said fast " Because soon you will be my finace instead and then my wife" I said " Jensen you know that is just in your dreams right? And btw what have you planed, Madde wrote something about that in the blogg yesterday?" He smiled and said " Yes it's in my dreams right now every night I dream about that but I know it will get realty someday soon. And about my plans I have no comments" I smiled and said" I don't know we just have to see. Jensen I love you!" He gave me a smile and looked at me with he's green eyes into my blue eyes and said " I love you too!" I kissed him and then I said " You have to tell me if you think I'm still telling you those three words to rarely" He took my hand and said " No you don't, the only words I think you say to rarely is I do to a certen qustion" I said " I know you think so, and I'm sorry I really am, but I just can't" He said " Don't worry I'm not giving up, never!" I smiled and said " I have noticed. Well was it nice to sleep in a comftorble bed at home after a week here?" He smiled and said " No because you wheren't there, the best bed I ever can sleep in is the one you are in. Tove I odn't think you know how much I love you, it's crazy! I start to think that my heart is shaped as you face, and my brain too since you are everything I think about day and night" I smiled and gave him a kiss then we desided to try to sleep, Jensen felled a sleep but I didn't so that's why I'm writhing right now. But I don't acre if I can't sleep aslong as this amazing man is next to me.

Tomorrow it's my birthday. Or it's allredy past twelew so it's all redy my birthday. Okay but technically I was born at the day around two I think, so I'm not really born yet then I was just a pain in the ass, not relly in the ass but whatever we can call it that, and I'm kind still is a pain in the ass for her sometimes, but Madde is acuttally worse then me or I think so anyway :P haha
Well Madde should be happy I'm not at home right now because then I had gettin even for the water glas she poured at me on her birthday, but I would of poured a whole bucket of water on her and probly really cold water too, so she should be happy! And Madde when you least exspect it I will get back at you for that water glass so you know and like I said then it will be a bucket with ice cubes in it and alot of them! I know you don't think I'm capable to do it, because I'm the nice girl and who always think of others first and so on, but jut wait and see or wait and freeze! HAHA ;P

Well that's all that have happend today, so Madde will write tomorrow and tell you what she gave to me as a present and I think she will let me tell the rest of the presents on Thursday.
Now I'm going just lay and watch jensen sleeo which I love to do!
Well have a nice night!
Good night!
Kisses
Tove