I pretty boring day.

Hey all!

Monday, I still don't like mondays but I must say that today has been pretty okay. I've spent it with the people i love the most and nothing really major has happened today. it has been quite calm.

So today I have been out buying Toves present with Nico, shane, kian and mark. Nicky called me this morning and asked if I had any idea on waht they could get her, I just siad that I was going to buy her gift today and that if they wanted to come they could. We had a great time hanging out the five of us, it was like we were back in Sligo. Gosh i miss those days... anyway, they found something pretty great for her but as Tove reads this i can't tell you what it was ;) and of course I can't tell you what i will get her either but all of the lads thought it was beautiful and that tove would be pretty happy about it. i really hope she will like it because she got me a Lamborghini for crying out load so I have to give her something she'll like and I really hope she will like this.

It took us awhile to get everything home but when we finally did we just picked Jared up and then we went to the hospital to see Tove and Jensen. Oh and Jensen is coming home today so he will follow us home later. It's going to be nice having him running around the house again but I want tove to come home too... but i suppose that is to much to ask at the moment. Anyway when we entered she got really happy to see the lads and gave all of them a hug each. Even kian got one ;) hhahah sorry :P we talked for awhile and then Shane asked if she was excited about tomorrow, she just said that it was going to be nice to see everyone but that it wasn't such a big day. I can't believe why she isn't excited about her birthday, I know i would be :P We talked for awhile longer and had a pretty good time when henrik walked in and had to take a look at Toves wound. Then he said to jensen "Thank you for letting Tove come with me to malmö and visit my mum." jensen just looked at him and then on Tove and then he said "I trust her, that's why i agreed with it. But listen, and listen well, if you try anything with her. And I mean anything, I will make you regret it big time!" Henrik just nodded and Tove didn't look so happy but I understand Jensen. After that he just left and Mark said "Wow, talk about wierd atmosphere we got in here now..." I couldn't help but laugh and after that the mood got much better in all of us.

Tove really wants me and Jensen to trust her and Henrik, atleast her. So we have both desided that we are going to do our best to trust her because she deservs that. But we are having a hard time trusting henrik and neither him nor Tove undertsands why so i'll tell you. He is a selfish, idiotic player that doesn't give a damn about other peoples feelings. He hurted Tove big time and I hate that and I won't forgive him for that. Okay i might have a problem with forgeting things but i don't think we should forget what he has done either. And it's not like he is the nicest person towards me either. I told Tove that i might forgive him or alteast be alittle nicer to him if he gave me a reason for it but i don't really know what that reason might be, he just has to surprise me if he want's me to trust him and be nicer.

Well as you know Jensen parents has arrived and this morning I totally forgot that fact so when i woke up I was really starving so I thought that i should just go downstairs and get some breakfast. Well I didn't really got dressed, I walked down in my black bra and panties and when i got to the kitchen I see Mr. Ackles sitting at the table and when he heard me he looked up and got realyl surprised and blushed. I was like "oh crap!" and hid behind the wall and it was really embarrassing. Tove always says that she is the one who will embarress herself but it's always me! I don't get it. And when i had been standing there for a while cursing myself for not putting some clothes on i hear a voice behind me "Hey sexy! why are you standing here hiding." i turned around and saw jared walking towards me and then he stopped right infront of me and put his hadn behind my neck and gave me one of his amazing kisses. I can't resist his kisses so i always go into it completely and guess what, yeah that's right when we both were completely all over each other Mr. Ackles walkes around the corner and stoppes right next to us. We immediately stopped kissing and I hid behind Jared who said "Eh, good morning Alan..." and gave him nervous smile. Alan just smiled and said "Good morning Jared and Madde." and then walked passed us. Both me and jared started to laugh and then i said that i'd better get some clothes on before i bump into him or Mrs. Ackles again. Jared just said that it was probobly a good idea so when i was dressed and ready for a new day i went down for some breakfast. i ahve to say that it was almost more emabarrassing then bumping into Eddie with nothing on.. And we who said that Jared and I wasn't a couple and now he saw us making out in the hallway and I was almost naked!! Geez, this day didn't start well.

As you know Nicky and Tove ended up fighting the other day but Tove called him yesterday to ask for forgeness about a few things she said and well that would have ended in an argument as well if she didn't hang up. They seem to have a big problem when it comes being friends and I hate it. They are the two people that means most to me in this world, without them it ain't worth living but I need them to be able to be in the same room without fighting. Tove hates the fact that nicky won't leave me, or atleast stop hanging out with me so much and Nciky has already amde up his mind, he ain't staying away from me. i'm happy that he won't leave me because, well as I said I need both Tove and Nico to live. But I'm really sad that Tove won't accept that and insted she takes it out on him. But I suppose it is like she says, it's going to be hard for them to be friends because they ahve so different oppinions and they are both really good at talking so things might just slip out. But honey, try to understand, for my sake. i need him in my life just as much as I need you. He is my Jensen...

I talked to nico about this today when we took a walk and I told him how i felt about the two of them fighting all the time. I said that I need both of them to be friends and he said "Well, if she just could accept that i'm not going to leave you then i can be her friend. But she is pretty darn stubborn and it's really hard for me to see eye to eye with her." I stopped him and looked him in the eyes and said "i need the two of you to work something out because i need both of you in my life. without either of you I'm not whole.". he smiled softly and stroke my cheek and said "For you I will try. But if her demand is that I stay away from you then it's going to be hard." I just smiled and said "Well if that's the case then i guess i'm going to have to cope with the pair of you arguing all the time.". Nicky just started to laugh and kissed my forehead, then took my hand and continued walking. I asked him if i was going to come and pick him up tomorrow before we went to Tove and congratulated her on her birthday and he said that he'd love that. I asked if it was because it was me or becuase of the car and he said "Well let's say like this, it's because it's you in that car." he winked with one eye and gave me a cheesy smile. i didn't know what to answer to that so i just kept walking. When we got to a bench we sat down and listened to the birds and just had a good time enjoying each others company.

You should have been at the dinner today! It was quite funny. Since Jensen is home again and his parents are here we had a really good time talking and laughing and the main subject was of course Tove and Jensen. His mother is really fond of Tove and has said many times that she would make a beautiful bride so today at dinner she asked Jensen if they weren't thinking of marrige. i just gave jensen a huge smile and he smiled back at me and said "Well, I have asked her to marry me but she isn't so fond of weddings so she said no." Donna looked at jensen and then at me with a very confused look and said "well that was not good news. I thought she loved you." I then said "She loves Jensen but she has a big problem withh weddings and hates the thought but Jensen won't give up. He has asked her aleast 3 times and is allready planing his next attemt." Everyone started to look even more confused and jensen said "okay look, we really love each other and although she says no I won't leave her. But I'm not going to stop asking either because one of these days she is going to say yes.". Donna just shook her head and siad "I sure hope so. just think that beautiful girl in a beautiful wedding-gown. oh my.". Then i couldn't resist at getting a photo album and showed her a photo of Tove and Tobbes wedding. She said "Wow, she looks so amazing. What a beautiful bride you got there Jensen.". Then Tobbe said "I really do hope she says yes to you because you should only know the feeling when she walks down that aile and looks so amazing. it's the best feeling ever." jensen smiled at him and said "I can understand that. I'm actually quite jealous of you that you got to see her like that and hear her say I Do.". It's really nice to see them bond like this even though it's pretty wierd but it's nice. Then Lukas said "Yeah but you guys have never felt the feeling of watching Madde walk down that aile and look so stunning in a gorgeous wedding dress. That is much much better." I felt my cheeks turn a bright red color and Donna said "You two have been married?" I said yes but that it was a long time ago and that we were young. Then Lukas said "Well she has been married to pontus as well but that didn't last forever either.". I kicked him under the table so that he would shut up because we were supposed to talk about Jensen and Tove and not me. But of course everyone thought it was much more fun talking about me because then Alan said "Well madde, I thought you and jared said that you weren't a couple but this morningI saw something else.". I felt all my blood rush to my head and i blushed like a crazy person, even jared blushed and then Kian siad "Well, they are just friends but none of them is in a serious realtionship so they help each other out.". I just looked at kian and threw a peice of bread on him. Everyone started to laugh and I hate to just sit there and be laught at but then Jared, who was sitting next to me, looked at me and all of the sudden he gave me a really passionated kiss and everyone just got quiet. When our lips parted he said "Well that shut you all up didn't it." then they just continued eating and we got back to talking about everything else but me.

Well, I don't really know what else to tell you. Tonight I'm going to hang out with the Westlife lads and eat strawberries and watch a good movie and just enjoy myself in their company. i have missed them so much.

Take care
Love
Madde