Forgive and Forget

Heya!!

You have no idea how nice it was to wake up in a familiar bed next to the most gorgeous man in the world this morning!! I suppose you can guess who I'm talking about but if now then i'll tell you; Nicky Byrne! ;P hahah. But it was one thing that wasn't so good, I was in alot of pain because it was too long ago since I took my morphine and that was why i woke up. And Nico accidentally put his hand right on my wound in his sleep and pushed so I woke up screaming because it hurted so bad. Nicky woke up when I screamed out my pain and got really really worried and jump out of bed asking what i wanted him to do. I just told him to get my morphine which he did and after a while when it started to have effect we both fell asleep again.

I suppose just becasue I'm home and can go outside when ever I want to it has to be bad weather and rain and cold and just hell outside. I want the sun to come back and the warmth and all that comes with summer!! I want to get a nice tan and go to the beach and just hang out with friends... Life sucks somtimes.

An other thing I have to talk about before I can tell you about the events of today. as you might know i did something for Tove the other day, I suduced Henrik for her so that she could find out what kind of man he is. Well, I told Nicky about that yesterday at the hospital and then when i left the room he started to yell at Tove for using me and not looking at me as a friend and blablabla. Well when I read that he had done then i got really upset because he shouldn't act like that. Okay I know he hates to see me get hurt and i know he loves me but he has no right to deside what i should do and not. So well, I talked to him today about it and said how i felt about it, his respons was "She shouldn't have asked that of you, if you get hurt it's all her fault." I just looked at him and said "Nicholas Byrne that has nothing to do with you. And it's not her fault, I could have said no but i wanted to do that for her.". He pulled his hands through his hair in frustration and then took my head between them and looked into my eyes "You know that i hate to see you get hurt and to see that she treats you as a sex object and not as the amazing woman you are is killing me and really pissing me off!" I took his hands away and held them in mine and said "I know babe but Tove is my best friend, my sister, and if she askes me to do something for her i will. She isn't treating me as a sex object, where did you get that from?" Then he got alittle upset and raised his voice and said "When she askes you to suduce a man to see his reaction! That is not how you treat your best friend or sister. I know you love her but you shouldn't do that for her.". I shook my head, I have never been so disappointed with Nico before. I said "Nico, plz. me and Tove is like you and Shane, you would do anything for him. don't deny it, i know the both of you. I promis you that I won't do anything that will hurt me." he said "yeah I know I would do anything for shane, he is my best friend... good, you know I worry about you.". He looked so cute with those puppydog eyes and that pout he makes. I let go of his hands and gently caressed his cheek and let my hand move around his neck, I then pulled him closer and felt his hands around my waist and then his soft lips touched mine in a soft, deep kiss. When we broke from the kiss we didn't let go of each other but looked inot each others eyes and I said "There is nothing to worry about, as long as you are here with me I can get through anything." He smiled and kissed me again and then he said he was sorry for yelling at Tove and overreacting. I just told him to tell Tove that and that we had to go and see her.

I think you can guess who was there when we got to the hospital, yeah that's right. Jensen Ackles. I asked jensen if he could come with me because Nico had to talk to Tove alone. Jensen just looked at Tove and then Nico but siad okay and walked with me outside. I was hopeing that everything went well inside but now when I was alone with Jensen I could ask him what I had on my mind. I asked him about the ring he gave Tove and if it ment something more then just "I love you". He just looked at me with a confused face and asked "What do you mean?" I said "Well, to me it's more of an engagement ring then a friendly gift." he just denyed it and said that he had nothing like that on his mind when he gave it to Tove because she would never accept an engagement ring. I told him that I think Tove in the back of her head thinks that it's an engagement ring and but that she woud deny it forever. He looked really sad and asked "Do you really think she never wants to commit herself to me completly?" I gave him a hug and said "That is something only time can show but I know that she loves you with all her heart and she would never want to leave you." He smiled and then asked if we should go back inside which we did and found Nico and Tove talking inside. Jensen walked over to Tove immediately and gave her a kiss and asked if she was okay and i walked over to the smiling man sitting on a chair next to Toves bed. He pulled me down in his knee and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I asked if everything went okay and he just said "yeah, everything is forgiven and forgotten." I smiled at Tove and saw that she was happy that Nico and her had gotten past that but I could tell she isn't happy with the way Nico and I handle our friendship. But she should meddel in that, that is mine and nicos business.

Then all of the sudden Nico said to Jensen "Hey man, Madde and I are going to watch your movie, My bloody valentine 3D tonight." I just turned my head and looked at him, I had no idea we were going out tonight!! And horrormovies and me is not a good combination and especially not in 3D!! + I have seen the trailer and it looks so fucking scary!! Jensen just laught and said "Oh really, you think you are going to get her to come with you and see a horrormovie? and in 3D too." Nico just said "yeah, why not?" and both Tove and Jensen started to laugh. I could feelt he anger boil up inside me and I just wanted to prove them wrong. Jensen said "Well, Madde is terrified of horrorflicks and 3D is even worse!" that was it for me and I said "Nico I'd love to go to the movies with you tonight and watch My bloody valentine." Both Jensen and Tove stopped laughing and looked at me with dareing eyes. Nicky smiled and said great! I can tell you that I was really freaking out because the fact is, I do hate horrormovies and I always scream and hide my face but I just ahd to prove Tove and Jensen worng so I'm going to watch that movie tonight.... IH!!! I'm going to die!!


Oh! I just haev to tell you that Krisen and Johan is officially a couple!!! So Tove, sorry but Johan is back. I overheard them talking this morning and I heard Krisen say that she wanted Johan to move in, Johan wanted to so he is living here now!! I think it's kind of nice because Johan is a great guy and he is an amazing chef. And Krisen needs a sweet guy and not some of the dorks and bad guys she has been dating resently. But okay it would be nicer if she could find some new sweet guy because that would give us some change here. ;) But Okay I'm kind of acting the same, I move around between Jared, Pontus, lukas and then maybe some new lad. Now I hae Nico too but not in that way.

Today when we got home from the hospital Jessica came running towards us and siad that I had to go with her and shop. She was in panic and I asked what was wrong and she said "I need a dress for graduation and for the party that night!!" I asked her why she hadn't thought of that ealier and she just looked at me like I was stupid or something. Nico didn't want to stand in between us so he just gave me a kiss on the cheek and said he had to go home and fix some stuff. I just said okay and told Jessica that we had to go as soon as possible if we were to find her a nice dress. I don't think I have ever seen her so happy and then she said "Thank you so much!! I didn't want to go with mum. And Tove is in the hospital plus she doesn't have as nice taste in clothes as you." I just laught and told her to grab her purse and get in the Lambo. She has never gone in the Lambo before so she was really excited about that too. I can tell you that we found a really nice dress, a pair of white pumps and a really cool outfit for the party. She is going to be the most beautiful, hot and cool girl there! ;)

You might wonder why we haven't talked about Linus in a few inlays now but that is because his mother has comed home again so he is living there now again. I have talked to her about him using drugs but do you think she cares? NO! I don't get her!! She has a 16 year old son who is going through a hell and is doing his best to get through it but by doing that he uses drugs. She just said "well that is his problem isn't it." I just thought I was going to slap her in the face!! I know now why Linus says his mother doesn't care because she just don't care!! I can't beleive it, I'm acctually thinking about aksing Krisen to adopt him but he has a will of his own and he would never want to be her son because that would mean he would be Toves brother. I'm glad though that he hasn't tried to kiss or do other stuff with her but that might be because he hasn't been visiting but I bet he will visit more now when I'm not there. I don't get what he ahs against me, I haven't done anything to him but being nice and offered my help but he just spits in my face when I offer it. He is such a brat!

Well, I can't write anything more because now it's just a few mintues left before Nicky and I have to be at the cinema so I really have to go now. You'll hear more from me on Sunday if I survive and don't die form a heart attack :P but Tove will write tomorrow anyway!!

Take care!
Love
Madde