Drama on the birthday

The first of July, Toves birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! Today alot of things will happen and that is why I'm blogging so early because all of us will go to the hospital to bring Tove home in a sec. I've talked to Henrik and he said that she could come home today because it was her birthday so she is staying over the night. That was his birthday present to her but I don't know if she has gotten something more from him. Just so you know, I will only tell you what she wil get from me because it's up to her if she wants to tell you about everything else.

Anyway, all day we have been prepering for her birthday, it's been a full house her. Krisen, Donna and Jessica got alittle help from My in the kitchen baking cakes and biscuits. Of course My ate a few but it's okay, we have enough to feed an army so :P Krisen and Donna really tried to get me to help them in the kitchen but i hate that so I just said no and that i ahd to fix the gifts and things like that. I don't get what is so funny with standing in the kitchen baking and cooking... it's so boring :P I just like to eat whatever they are making ;) hhahah Anyway, Jensen, Jared, Nico, Shane, mark, Kian, Tobbe and Lukas helped the cleaninglady to clean the house and after that we put up balloons and banner and things like that. I was about to put up a banner over the livingroom entrance so I was standing there on a chair so that i could reach and guess what happens. Yeah that's right, when both my hands are ocupied someone bumps into the chair, i think it was Shane, and i loose my balance completely so I fall to the floor with the banner and I hear it rip into two peices. And of course I flew out with my arms and hit a tray out of the hands of Nicky who came with drinks for all of us. The drinks were all over the floor together with me who was covered with the banner which was really wet and torn. Lukas and Tobbe immediately started to laugh, they ahve a wierd sence of humor. I had the banner over my face but if they had seen it I swear they would have shut up because I was really angry. Nicky carefully took the banner away and offered his hand to help me up. I took it and he dragged me to my feet, my shorts and top were covered with liquid and the floor were so wet you could have drowned there. okay maybe not but it was really wet and the banner was totally destroyed. Nicky asked if I was okay and I just said yeah and walked pass him, I had to get out of there before i hit Lukas and Tobbe in the faces because they were still laughing.

When i got up to my room and was about to change clothes I heard a knock on the door and aksed who it was, it was just Tim so I just told him to come in. He opened the door and when he saw that i was just wearing a pair of nw shorts and my bra he stopped and then he realised what he was doing so he closed the door and sat down on my bed. I asked him if he wanted something and he said "Well, I have to ask you something." I put on a new clean top and sat down next to him on the bed and said "okay, what?". He looked at me and then down on the floor and then he said "I've been thinking about maybe moving back here to Stockholm. i never felt like home in Umeå anyway and I don't have anything that keeps me there.". I aksed him "Well, it's up to you but I ahve to ask. Are you doing this because I'm here?" he looked at me and I could tell that he was trying to find a way to say what he was about to say but then he just said "No, it's just that i miss home and I like Stockholm much better. And I'm sure i can get a job here too but even if I don't i don't even need a job.". I don't know if he was telling the truth but I have a feeling that he is keeping something from me. I really hope he isn't staying because of me because there will never happen anything between the pair of us. I just wish he could understand that. Suddenly someone else knocked on the door and in walkes Eddie. When he sees Tim he just stopps and I can tell you that my blood frose to ice when i saw him in my bedroom. He said "oh, sorry i thought you were alone." and then he was about to walk out the door when Tim said "And what if she was, what were you going to do?". I took Tims hand so that he would undertsnad that I wanted him to shut up but the damage was already done because Eddie turned around and looked at us and said "That, son, is none of your business." Tim stood up and let go of my hand ans said "I think it is because I won't let you hurt her. Never!" (Tim my little hero) Eddie took a step closer to Tim and said "What ever happened between me and her is between me and her. You don't know the first thing about any of it!". I knew that if I didn't do anything they were going to start fighting and that was the last thing I wanted so I stood up adn said that it was time for Eddie to leave but he just looked at me and siad "You shut the hell up, slut!" I felt my blood go from frosen to boiling in a second and I just wanted to throw myslef at him and kill him right there and then but Tim beat me to it. Everything happened like in slowmotion, Tim clench his ahnd into a fist and ran it straight in the face of Eddie who was still looking at me. He got a chock that Tim hit him but was fast with throwing a fist towards Tim aswell which hit him straight on the nose. Tim fell over the bed and blood was pouring from his nose. I must have screamed or something because before i knew it Nico, Shane, Kian, Mark, Jared, Jensen, Tobbe and Lukas runs into the room and sees Tim lying on the bed with a bleeding nose and Eddie bending over me while I was makeing sure Tim was okay.

As you know Nicky have a temper and he is pretty protective of me so as soon as he saw Eddie he just took three quick steps into the room and grabbed his arms from behind and spun him around and threw him out into the hallway. Eddie fell to the ground and Nico wasn't slow at following him and he took a hold of his shirt and pulled him up on his feet just to push him away again. I don't think I have ever seen nicky so angry i was sure he would ahve killed Eddie. The other lads were standing behind nicky looking at Eddie and just as he was about to attack again I ran out and placed myslef between him and Eddie. I hate Eddie I do so it wasn't because of that why i didn't let nicky have a go at him but I love Nico to much to let him do it. I looked at Nicky but he didn't look at me he just had his eyes on Eddie and they weren't the beautiful eyes that I have fallen inlove with. his eyes were filled with hatred and loathing. I placed a hand on his chest and said "Nicky don't. He isn't worth it." Nico was breathing really fast and then Shane did just like me, he took two steps and placed himself next to me inbetween Nico and Eddie and then he said "She is right man, he isn't worht it. And look, she is fine isn't she.". nickys eyes quickly looked away from Eddie and landed on me and then i took the chance and took a step closer to him and put my amrs around his waist. He slowly started to soften alittle but then Eddie said "She is the one who isn't worth it. She is just a whore who have been sleeping around with everone. Even me and Tim got a taste of her.". I think that every single muscle in nickys body got stretched and then he took my arms away from his waist and tried to move me out of the way. After a few tries he actually picked me up like alittle baby and placed me next to him insted. I was sure he was going to kill Eddie but i was just worrid that Eddie might win. The all of the sudden Shane turned around and looked just as angry as Nico and started to move closer to Eddie and so did the rest of the guys as well. Eddie must have gotten scared because he slowly wlaked backwards and then he walked down the stairs and out through the door.

When he fianlly had left the building Nico turned to me and looked at me from top till toe and then he asked if I was okay. I bit my lip because I had to think if i was okay and then I just nodded. He let out a sigh and gave me a loving hug and while he was holding me he siad "If i ever see him near you again i swear to god i will kill him!" I pushed him away and felt that I was getting angry with him and said "You do no such thing! Look, I'm fine and I can take care of myslef. of course, I'm happy that you are there but i can't stand to see you get hurt because of me." He just looked at me like I was crazy and then he tried to hug me again but i just said "promis me!" he sighed and said "okay, I promis." then he took a trying step closer and put his hands on my arms. I felt all the stress just leave me and I threw myslef in his arms. Then I remembered Tim and ran to my room where he was sitting on the bed trying to get his nose to stop bleeding. I helped him with that and when it finally stopped we all walked downstairs and into the kitchen. Krisen asked what ahd happened and why it all of the sudden was so load upstairs. We told her about everything and then she siad "I can't believe it! You know what i think we need to get a restraining order on him, not to get even close to you." I must say that I like the idea of that and i guess if someone can fix it then it's Krisen. Sometimes she is really good to have and I must admit that i love her for that. When Nico heard that he said "Sounds good, can you do it?" his voice was really stressed and very eager so krisen got a wierd look on her face and then she siad "I don't think it's going to be a problem but we need to talk to a judge first.".I just said that i was fine with that as long as it might mean that Eddie aren't allowed to go near me which also mean he can't go near Tove because we always hang out. So that is pretty great.

After all this drama we continued with all the work we had to do before the birthday kid comes home. I suppose you are pretty curious of what i have bought for her so I'm going to tell you now. check out these links and you'll see what it is. http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss304/carry_love/blabla.jpg
http://i586.photobucket.com/albums/ss304/carry_love/hihihi.gif
I hope she will like it. especially the first one because the second one was more just for fun :P partyparty ;) hahaha

So, Tove has threatened me with throwing water or ice on me but I'm happy she can't do it because I don't really think i would like it. I do think she has the guts to do it but if she does then she has started a war! hahaha A war I will win ;) I'm going to make her pay for it, I promis you that.

Well another thing about Tove... but not just about her it's about Nico too. Tove has said that she is willing to try and se eye to eye with Nico but that she stands by her thoughts and won't back off. So after everything that happened today with Eddie and all that I thought it would be a good idea to take a walk with Nico and talk alittle. he was still stressed and had troubble with calming down so I took a hold of his hands and dragged him out for a walk. When we had walked for awhile and he had started to calm down I told him about Tove and that she was willing to try and he promised me that he would do the same which amde me very happy. Then he asked "Madde, what happened exacly back there just now? with Eddie?" I was just waiting for that question and I felt all the happiness just wash away. I stopped and looked down on the ground and told him what he ahd said and what Tim ahd said and everything. He said "I'm glad Tim was there, who know what he would have done if you were alone." I looked up at him and asked him the thing I ahd been asking myself ever sonce I heard the word leave Eddies lips. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I asked sobbingly "Am I worth it? A slut like me?" and then the tears just escaped my attemts to hold them back. Nicky quickly hugged me and held me thight and said "Don't ever say that again, you hear me! you are not a slut, you are one of the most amazing girls I haev ever met and I love you. Don't you dare ever doubt that you are worth it. I would fight an army for you. I'm going to kill him for saying these thing to you.". The tears didn't want to stop pouring down my cheeks and I said "But maybe he is right, i sleep around. I've slept with him and his son and a whole bunch of other guys. You can't be serious that i'm amazing. I'm a freak.". He pulled me away and sat me down on a bench not far from where we were standing. He squat down infront of me, stroke away the tears from my cheeks and took my hands. He looked deeply into my eyes and said "I don't care if you have slept with a thousand guys, I don't care that you've slept with him, Tim, Jared or anyone. but i know that you are not a slut, not a freak and not some bitch. You are amazing. Madde, how many people have been through everything you have? I can tell you that you have gone through more in your life then I have or alot of other people have in a lifetime. You are a strong, independent woman who is in controll of her own life. You are loving and caring and you always show that. You ARE amazing. Don't listen to a jackass who is so desperate to be loved that he chases his doughter because he needs her to love him. He isn't worth anything, he is a shithead. You have people who love you and cares about you, Tove, Kristina, Jared and of course me. We would never leave you because being without you is like being without a peice of our soul. You have given us so much and we all love you for that, I love you for that. Don't listen to Eddie, he doesn't know what he is talking about. Listen to me who knows you. Don't ever doubt that you are amazing." I just sat there listening to his words and started to feel alittle better, the tears had stopped pouring down my cheeks but when he stopped talking one single tear excaped and fell down on our hands. I knew that if I started to talk I would just burst out crying again so i just sat there looking into his gorgeous blue eyes and then he kissed my hands and sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I rested my head on his shoulder and we just sat there for about an hour and I felt how much i was going to miss him when he leaves for China in a week. It's going to be so hard to be without him, it will be like he has taken a peice of my soul with him, like he put it. But I have Tove so that makes it alittle better anyway, without her i wouldn't be able to go on.

Well now kids, i have to go. We are going to pick Tove up and then we are oing to party. Or maybe not party but have a good time anyway. I just hope Eddie will stay away. You'll hear more about today tomorrow from Tove and of course she will tell you about everything she got from everyone else! ;P

Take care
Love
Madde