What the Fuck!!!!

What up!?

So are y'all doing good or what? I can tell you that yesterday night started off pretty darn good but then it just went downhill! Guys can be so fucking stupid sometimes!! Well let me tell you about that now. But first; HAPPY BIRTHDAY JARED PADALECKI YOU SEXY BEAST!!!

As we said yesterday we were going out last night. It was just me, Tove and Jensen who could comewith but we went anyway, and Jared the poor thing wasn't feeling well so he stayed home to get better for today becuase it's his birthday. But the thing is I don't like to just hang with Tove and Jensen because as I have said a thousand times, they are all over each other!! especially when they are drunk. Well anyway, we didn't go to the club where Albin works because they are renovating so it's closed but we went to mine and Tove second favourite club. The bad thing there is that we don't get any free drinks.... maybe.... ;)

Anyway, whe Tove had been in the bathroom for about 2 hours we could finally go. both me and Jensen were really getting sick of waiting, I even said that we should go and that she could come later, but jensen thought we should be nice and wait... Geez sometimes he is such a pussy :P

When we got to the club and saw the line we were happy that we can just walk in. of course there were a bunch of people getting angry because of it but who cares :P it was a lot of people in the club and all the dancefloors were allready covered with people so we desided to get a drink first and made our way towards the bar. As soon as we got there we heard a "Tove, madde. It's great to see you again. how are you doing?". Both of us said hey to the bartender Lars and said that we were doing fine but that we were really thirsty. He just laught and poured up two drinks for us and said that it was on the house. Jensen got a beer but had to pay, he isn't as good looking as we are ;) we thanked him and found an empty sofa in a corner so we made our way there but as you can imagine Tove was really really thirsty so her drink was allready empty when we sat down. I can say that I'm not so happy that she is drinking but what can I do. But I'm not going to let her destroy Jensens liver aswell... Well, a sofa + a tove + a jensen = making out! big time! I don't think they even noticed me so i desided to go to the dancefloor and party with the hot guy there. I just had to get up on the dancefloor when a whole bunch of guys started to dance around and with me, i didn't mind that though, it was a long time ago since i got to party like that and just let everything go. Then I saw a really hot dude and I just had to dance with him so i made my way towards him and then i saw that he was allready dancing with a cute brunette but I started to dance next to him and suddenly he was dancing behind me with his hands on my hips. Well, you can't really think that a brunette can beat me ;) she got abit pissed off and threw an evil eye at me but i just blew her a kiss and turned around and put my arms around the guys neck. we danced and dancd and danced and then he asked if i wanted a drink, and if you know me right then you know i never turn a hot guy down so i followed him to the bar and got a drink that he paid for. The funny thing is that if he hadn't been there I would have gotten a free drink anyway, it's easy to flirt with lars, he is so sweet :P. I looked over at Jensen and Tove but the were still occupied with sticking thier tongues down each others throats so i dragged him to another sofa not far from Tove and jensen. We talked for awhile, I found out that his name is Rickard and he is 27 and works at gym in Stockholm. Well, let's say like this, i could have guessed that. You have no idea how bloody fit this guy is!!! Crazy! okay maybe not like jared but he is diffinently more muscular then alot of guys out there. Then all of the sudden he got up and walked away, i was like "What the bloody hell is he doing?!" but then he returned with another drink and he sat down even closer to me. You should have smelled his cologne, it was so tasty I just wanted to eat him up!! I looked over my shoulder and met Toves eyes, she just gave me a meaningful look and a cheeky smile and turned back to her beloved boyfriend. I smiled for myslef and asked if Rickard wanted to dance again. He just said yeah and took my hand and walked with me back to the dancefloor. We can say like this, it got alittle bit out of hand but i didn't mind, his hands found their way under my shirt but he didn't touch my boobs which i think was rather peculiar but at the same time it was kind of different and i liked it. When we had danced a few songs I felt a knock on my shoulder and turned around and faced Tove. She gave me a hug and then she looked down on my stomach and saw his hands move under my shirt. she just started to giggle and took Jensens hands and put them on her stomach. Sometimes she is really embarrassing but i still love her, she gets like this when she is drunk. Jensen on the other hand wasn't so drunk because before we left we desided that he had to take care of Tove so that she wasn't going to drink to much, i just hope she won't get to pissed at him. When we were dancing there, with our backs towards our boys I suddenly felt Rickards lips touch my neck which sent chill down my spine. I love it when men kiss me like that!! I turned my head around alittle and met his lips with mine. he had really soft lips and was a pretty good kisser and I could feel i just wanted more. it was getting really hot at the dancefloor and I really needed another drink so I took his hand and dragged him back to the bar and got myself a drink. The sofa we had been sitting in was still empty so we sat back down in it and he immediately put his hand on my thigh. I was just about to lead in and plant a kiss on his lips when Tove flew down next to me and yelled "Madde!! You have found a new guy!!! Thank god it's not nicky!!!". I had no idea what to do, I just turned to her and said "Where the fuck is jensen?! and can you please shut up about nico?" she started to laugh and said "I left him at the dancefloor, he wasn't paying attention. Why?? I thought you loved him?" then she leaned over me and said to Rickard "Hey sexy, I'm Tove, Maddes best friend. I'm happy she found you, she has been so loved up in a good friend of the family for so long now." Rickard just looked like she was crazy and I had no idea what to do but I got up and dragged Tove with me and told Rickard to stay and then i wnet on Jensen-hunt. We found him woundering around at the dancefloor and when he saw us he came straight towards us, I can tell you that i wasn't so happy with him so i said "You were supposed to look after her!!! Now she has been embarrassing me infront of Rickard!" jensen took Toves hand and said "i'm sorry, i'll keep a better look at her but she is quick!" i just looked at him and went back to Rickard. When I sat down next to him he asked "So who is nicky?" I felt my brain work as hard as it could but all i came up with was "Well... it's a long story that I rather not talk about" he just nodded and i could tell that he was getting abit reserved but as a champion at getting my way I knew just waht to do to get his attention back. I moved alittle closer and put my hand on his thigh and started to slowly move it upwards. He started to sit up alittle more so i knew i was hitting the right spot. I said "So, what are you doing later tonight?" he looked at me and I could tell he was hesitateing so i moved my hand higher and suddenly he said "nothing, i guess." i just smiled and leaned closer to his ear and wispered "Well, I bet the different." and then i gave him a long kiss.

After a few more drinks and a few more dances me and Rickard took a cab home I didn't really feel like share a cab with Tove in that state. Rickard was having a pretty ahrd time keeping it in his pants but he did a good job considering. i'm not really like Tove in that way, I don't really like doing it in public places. When we got home Tove and Jensen had already gotten home because we met thm in the hallway and Tove was apperiantly stating to feel alittle bit sick because she was sayig "I need to throw up!!!" I hate it when peple throw up so I just told jensen to tkae care of her and then I took Rickards hand and lead him upstairs. When we got into my room I closed and locked the door and turned to Rickard who was just standing next to the bed looking at me. You have no idea how hot he was looking when he stood there with his brown hair all messy and those brown eyes filled with temptation. I didn't really feel like waiting much longer so I walked over to him and started to undress him while he did the same with me. He picked me up and laid me down on the bed and well you know the rest...

NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well let me tell you, we had just gotten started and it was pretty good but then all of the sudden, I mean like 10 minutes into the act he came and then he just got off and said "well, i suppose I should get going then" i was like "What?" and then when he started to put his pants on i understood that he wasn't joking so I said "What the fuck are you doing!? where are you going?!" then he had the nervs to look at me and say "Well, i think we are done here right?". I just couldn't believe it, he was just about to put on his shirt when I grabbed my panties and yelled at him "WHAT KIND OF MAN ARE YOU!? ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?! IT'S ME!". without taking his shirt on he started to move towards the door and had just unlocked it when i ran towards him and started to yell and chase him down the hall. Notice that I wasn't wearing anything but my panties and he was just wearing his pants and then all the doors in the hallway opened and EVERYONE looked out! I was to fucking pissed off to care, I just chased after him screaming that he was a dickhead and that he was too fucking stupid to ever get laid and that if he ever showed his ugly face around me I would cut his dick off!! When we had ran all the way down and he had gotten out of the house I stood in the doorway and yelled "AND FOR THE RECORD, YOU SUCK IN BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". He just continued to run and then when i stood there in the doorway a couple of guys walked by and saw me and started to wistle, I just yelled at them "fuck you!" and one of them yelled back "sure come on then!". If Krisen hadn't grabbed my arm and closed the door i would have run out and kicked those guys asses! Krisen grabbed a towel and put it around me so that i could atleast hide my boobs because the entire house except Tove and Jensen had comed down the stairs and was now looking at me with curious eyes. I wlaked by them and up the stairs where i met a laughing Tove in the arms of her Jensen and that was like it for me. I yelled at her to shut the fuck up and that it wasn't funny and that she was such a bitch and all that. Jensen just looked at me and then Tove said "what the fuck happened?! but I have to say it must have been good!!!!!!!" I just so wanted to kick her ass but Jared stopped me by grabbing my arm and said that the kids were freaking out because I was screaming and all that. I just wanted to get my arm back and yell at him that i didn't care but he is pretty darn strong so he dragged me back to my room and closed the door behind us.

All my lust had just left my body and I just felt how fucking angry I was but Jared sat me down on the bed and said that I had to calm down. Well you know me I'm not so good at calming down but he sat down next to me and took my hand in his big once and looked me in the eyes and said "Okay, what happened? I don't think I've ever seen you so angry especially not when it's a guy. what did he do?" I almost yelled "It's not what he did, it's more what didn't do!". He looked at me like a questionmark and said "okaaay, so what didn't he do?" I was quiet for a while and looked at him like he was stupid then I said "He didn't let me finish!! he just finshed and left!! Who the hell does that?". Jared looked at me and said "What!? Is he stupid or something?? Doesn't he like sex or what?" I just nodded and said "I know right! God I just want to rip his dick off!!!". Jared moved his hand from mine and stroke my head and told me to calm down again but I couldn't. Then he kissed me with his gorgeous soft lips and I calmed down at once. I suppose you guys think we had sex and everything was great again but we didn't. We just laid there talking all night and then we fell asleep in each others arms. It feels so safe in his strong arms and to hear his heart beat inside his chest is so calming and peaceful. Sometimes I really miss him, but I don't really know what i feel.... I suppose my heart still is flooded with love for Nicky.

When we woke up I looked into his goregous face and kissed his soft lips and siad "Happy birthday babe." he smiled and stroke my cheek and said "thank you love.". He pulled me in for another kiss and then he moved his lips over to my neck and I stroke his amazing abs with my fingers. He wispered "Let me show you how a gentleman does it." I smiled and giggled alittle and then he layed me down on my back and kissed me form my neck down over my boobs and over my stomach. One of his hands stayed on my boob and caressed it while his other pulled my panties down and caressed me there. I started to breath alittle faster so he put a few fingers in me and started to move slowly. It felt so good and I was really close at coming. I breathed even faster and then I just stopped breathing and came. He smiled and started kissing me again, I then asked him if he needed alittle help with getting his beast up, he just nodded and smiled but when I had kissed my way down to it, it was already up and I just had to use my tounge alittle to get it even harder and warmer. He pulled me up with his strong arms and laied me down again, he got ontop of me and took a hold of his beast and slowly put it in me. I moaned alittle but grabbed his ass and he slowly started to move. He kissed me and stroke my hair away from my face. He started to go faster and stopped kissing me, I moaned louder and he went even faster and harder and tried to go as deep in me as possible. I mived my hands from hos thigh ass and stoke his back. I breathed even faster and he noticed so he moved even faster and put his hand there too and caress me. It felt so fucking good and when I was close at coming again I put my nails in his back and let out a short scream. After I'd come he comtinued to move faster and kissed me but then he took a hold of my skin between his teeth and I felt that he came inside of me. I smiled and he kissed me and laid down next to me. I put my head on his chest and stroke that perfect, sweaty body with my fingertips. He said "So, you are not going to yell and me and chase me down the hallway?" I smiled and kissed his chest and said "I would never do that to you. That was to good to be true and made everything so much better.". He smield and said "Good.". We laid there for awhile and then I got up and went to my closet and took out two gifts and went back to the bed. I stopped and looked at the goegeous naked man laying in it. He had one of his arms behind his head and the other hand was resting on his stomach. The cover was just barely covering his beast and he had the most amazing smile on his face. His eyes looked at me from top to toe and I slowly walked closer to him. I sat down on my side of the bed and he turned to me and I said "Happy Birthday Jared." and gave him the gifts. He smiled and siad "Thank you.". He sat up and started to unwrap them, the first one was a Nikon camera with a great lens, he got really happy and kissed me as a thank you. Then he opened the other one and it was a dogtag in white gold with a diamond on it. One the back I had engraved the word "believe". He looked at it for a long time and then he looked at me, smiled and puolled me into a kiss. He said "I love it, thank you so much babe. Best birthday ever.". I laught and said "I'm glad to hear that and your welcome but how can you know that, the day has just started.". He smailed and siad "You are here, everything I need and want is right here.". I kissed him and laid down next to him again.

When we went downstairs we met Jensen and Tove in the kitchen and Jensen got up at once and gave Jared a hug and said happy birthday. They are so cute. :) Well the rest of the day was pretty much the same, alot of singing and alot of eating cake and cookies. I love birthdays :D

After dinner I had to make a diffecult call to Nico, I went up to my room so that I would get some privacy and then i dialed the number. He picked up after two tones and said with a happy voice "Hey love! How are you?" I couldn't help myslef, I just had to smile and felt how the happiness just filled me up and I said "Hey babe, I'm okay. What about you?" he still had the same happy tone and siad "That's good, I'm okay too. Things are not so good but we'll fix it and I'm coming home soon." I smiled and then I remembered what i ahd to talk to him about and felt all the happiness just wash away. I said "Nicky, we need to talk." he was quiet for a while and then he siad "okay, whats wrong?". I sighed and siad "How's david feeling?" Nico seemed confused but said "Well, he still has a fever but is doing alittle bit better.why?". I said "You should have been there with him when he needed you yesterday. Nico, babe, you know I need yo but you have to put you children before me... God I can't believe I'm saying this.". I felt the tears build up in my eyes and I heard Nicos voice become weaker and I knew that I had hurt him. He said "I can't believe you said that either but I suppose you are right... I don't know... I can't just skip picking up your calls." I sighed and said "I know, I don't want you to do that either because I would hate that but you can tell me to call you later or say that you'll call back. Especially when your family needs you.". I heard him sigh on the other side and he said "Yeah, I suppose. I just don't want to hurt you, I never want to hurt you.". I smiled and felt a tear roll down my cheek, I stroke it away and said "You won't hurt me, I love you so much but I can take it if you need to be with your family. Becuase you and Zara needs to fix this now and your kids needs you." he siad "I love you too, so much. Okay, I'll do my best. But this doesn't mean you are going to stop calling right?". I siad quickly "No of course not! I would never stop calling you.". I really hope he will do like I asked but I suppose we'll just have to wait and see. And I'm really happy that he is coming home soon! Can't wait till Tuesday, that is going to be a good day. Frist Nico is coming home and then we are going to the cottage! :D We continued talking for another hour and then Jared knocked on the door and asked if I wanted to watch a movie with him, Tove and Jensen. So Nicky and I said our goodbyes and hung up.

Tove had been out walking with Henrik nad hd just comed home. I hope they have been talking about how we are going to fix her big weight problem... I just wish she could talk to me about it and understand that she needs to do something about it. Sometimes I just want to go to Henrik and talk to him myslef even though I don't like him, but I would do it for Tove. I'd do anything for her, she is my bestfriend, my sister, my soul and heart. Without her I would be completeley lost.

Oh and another thing. During our week at the cottage we will not blog so much, we might stop in and blog a short inlay some day so that you all will know that we are okay and having the time of our lives. Don't be surprised if we are fighting one day and are the best of friends the next :P

Well now we are going to watch another movie and cuddle up in the sofa :)

Take care
Love
Madde