Desperate?

Hello!
How are you all doing?
I'm acutally doing better, I still have a lot of pain but it is bearable now and it comes and goes all the time but it's better then before which feels great, but I still don't sleep or eat so much but I will survive without food and sleep so it will be fine.
I can tell you some really great news and that is that I'm going home! Belive it or not but I'm going home tomorrow!!! YAY!! :D :D :D I havn't acutally told anyone yet about this because Henrik just walk out of my room and said I could go home tomorrow, but I still have to take it easy and rest and so on and I have to come back to the hostpital in a few days.
So late tomorrow night I will get home, because they wanted to do some tests before I went home. But I don't care I can sleep at home anyway, with Jensen :D I can barely wait! :D So next time I will be writing at home! :D

Well anyway if you read Maddes inlay from yesterday then you know that mum and Maddes isn't really BFFs right now. But I can't blame Krisen for getting angry, but still it was funny :P HAHAHA I laughted and laughted and laughted when Madde told me what had happend :P
Hahah poor mum, it must have been really embarrassing for her :P But I feel kind of bad for Jared too, because he started it all with Madde and made her all worked up and then Pontus got the honer to finsh it, while Jared didn't get to get done at all ;) haha
And another person I feel sorry for is myself!! I have to say I'm kind of Jealous of Madde who got some! I havn't had sex in weeks!! And I'm really starting to feel that I'm getting desperate and all that lust for sex I had the last time I was here, when I almost sleeped with Tobbe, and then all that with Henrik, and Albin and alot of other guys are coming back! I hate that because then all the hornyness I have missed just come back at the same time, and then all I think about is sex and everything I want is sex!! But the good part is that this means that I'm starting to feel better. But I still really miss having a guy inside of me, to be specific I really really miss having a special man inside off me. ;) And I think you all who I'm talking about, yeah that right my boyfriend, with he's sexy hands, sexy arms, sexy back, sexy stomach, really sexy ass and ofcourse he's big sexy... now I'm geting out of hand again, sorry, like I said hard to control myself ;P But it should be understandable since I have the sexiest boyfriend on earth ;) I just want to rip he's clotshes off and make him all worked up and put it in to me! I uselly not that loud or I think so anyway, not comparied to Madde anyeway, but when I will have sex this time it feels like I will be in Maddes level, just because he's so fucking hot and it was ages ago we had sex and I'm all reday all worked up about this, I just want him now!!! Now I'm talking about this again but I can't stop, sorry! But we had warn that this blodd woudl be like this so, so you can stop reading if you like. But I can'st stop writing intill I get some!!

I actally called my boy about this problem this morning, he answerd and asked what was wrong since he just to be the one who is calling me in the mornings I said despreatly" Can't you come here now? I need you here now" He sounded worried and said " What's wrong honey? Have something happend? " I said " No nothing have happend, but it is something wrong, I'm so fucking horny!! And the only medicine is you" Jensen started to laugh and said " Sorry baby I can't, I have promised Krisen to help her lifting a few things. And even if I could I wouldn't have sex with you because I know you shouldn't" I sign and said " You are choosing my mum instead of your naked girlfreind?! Are you sure you are a guy? Or do you have a thing for my mum?! I hate that you listen to ever damn rule! But we can still have fun without sex" Jensen laughted again and said " No I don't have a thing for your mum, you know I think you are the sexiest and most beautiful woman in the world. But I keep my promises and she he kind of in a bad mood so I don't real like agrueing with her right now. And last time I checked I was stilla guy. Are you sure you are not a guy?" I said " Yeah yeah whatever I don't car how sexy you think I'm when you are not here. Yeah I know you do that... can't you just not keep your promis for ones? Just tell Krisen that her daughter needed you for some bed action, because she is all reday all worked up! You was? Last time i cheacked I wasn't a guy, but if you don't belive me you can always come over and cheak so I'm not lieing. But since you are a guy can't you just come over here with your dick and leave it here for a while and then come back" He laughted and said " No I always keep my promises, I thought you liked that about me? And do you really want me to tell her that, she would probaly kill you. I belive you, even though I have the feeling you don't want me to belive you right now. Tove I'm not cutting anything off and espeicially not that part. Can't you just handel it yourself? Don't you have a toy or something?" I said " Yes I useally love that about you, but not really now when you choose mum instead off me! I don't really care aslong as you get here. And no I don't want you to belive me, just come here!Of course I can, but it's not as fun or good, and it's so much harder to get a amazing end, if you know what I mean. And a toy is notghing comparied to you sexy. I just want to ripe your clothes off and fell your naked body pressed against mine, but my hand inside of your boxers and then take them off, and kiss you on the stomach and even farther down, and then I will go down on you for as long as you want,a nd you can do whatever you want with me, still not tempted? " He said " So I'm better then a toy huh? Tove I have been tempted from the beegining, the only diffrent is that I'm horny now too. But still babe I can't. I don't want to make you more sick, and I'm kind of scared of Krisen. But I wil come and visit later but we are not having sex" I said " Yes ofcourse you are if you wheren't I would have sex with you at all. I don't want to know that you are geting workedup about this because then I get even more worked up! Fine don't have sex with me then! But I have to say you are going to miss out of something, because I have never been this worked up before without doing anything, and I'm probably going to be loader then ever, but have a nice day and I will see you tonight" Jensen said " Come on Tove don't get angry for this! I really wish I could be there, trust me I do! Can't I just talk to you in the phone while you take care of it yourself? I would like that" I laught and said " Jensen I'm not angry just desperate, sorry. Okay now I start to think you are a guy again. But no Jensen you can't if you want someting at all then you just have to get over her" He said " Don't say that! I need something!" I laughted and said " Sorry! But don't worry I can wait a fe wmore days for sex so I want do anything. " He said " Good, because I want to be there then " I said " You will, I love you,se eyou later!" Jensen said " Love you too!"

Donna and Alan came and visit me today like two hours after I had talked to Jensen. They both gave me a hug and sat down. I asked them where Jensen was and why he hadn't follow them. Donna said " I don't really know, Jensen got all confused and weird when we asked him if he wanted to come with us to you, so I didn't really understand why he didn't follow, I didn't really understand what he was saying, are you two fighting?" I said " Not what I know about, now I'm confused too, maybe he has find a hottie somewhere and finally realized that I'm ugly and nothingt to have. I'm just kidding, or I hope I'm anyway." Alan said " Tove don't be stupied, you are beautiful and Jensen loves you and he even want to marry you" I said " I know, he's amazing! He even wat to start a family with me now" Both donna and Alan faces lighten up when I said that. Donna asked what I thourght about that. I didn't really wanted to disappointe them again as hard as I did when i said I didn't want to get married, so I said " Well Jensen asked me to think about it and I don't really know what I feel and think about it yet, so it's not a no and it's not a yes either, so it's still hope for alittle baby Jensen, even though I wish for a girl, but Jensen want a boy of course, but we just have to wait and see. I'm not saying that we are going to have kids but I acutally love kids s maybe. " I have to say 70% of what I just said to them is a big fate lie, yes I loev kids but not as much as I want to have one. But I could see that Donna and Alan was happy about that answer, and Donna said " We would love to have grandchildren, and you two would make great parents. but I have to say that I would like if you got married before you got kids, but it's up to you" I said " I hope we would be, I kind of have a feeling that he would become that nice guy while I got stuck with playing bad cop, because Jensen can be a sucha big wimp sometimes" They laughted and said they had to go.

A while after they left then Jensen called, he was acting really weird! He was whispering and then he askd if he's parents was with me. I said " Jensen what are you doing?" He whisperd"
don't say my name outload, are they there?" I laughted and said " No ther not" Then he said in a normal voice that he would come and vistit me now.
When he walked throw that door he gave me a kiss and
laied down next to as nothing had happend, so I even had to ask him what was going one since he didn't want to visit mew ith he's parents and then that weird phoecall. He said " Well just before they where leaving to go to see you they asked me what's all the fighting was about yesterday, and I didn't really know what to say, so the only thing that came out was, ehh, ehhh,hmmm, eehh, they ... was...ehh just angry...ehh I don't know" I laughted and said " so you didn't erally feel like telling them the truth?" He laughted and said " No, and then I told hem that I had to go and see you but then they said that there was just on the way over so then I said something about I had other things to do" I laughted and said " I do understand that they think you where weird ;P " He laughted and gave me a kiss and asked how I was doing with my little sexuel problem, I laughted and said " It's better, but just alittle, and like I promised you haven't missed anything, I haven't touched myself not even looked at myself" Jensen said " I'm glad to here that" I laughted and kiss him.

Then Krisen walked throw the door and gave me a hug and Jensen too then she sat down on a chair, I asked hwow she was doing and she said a little irrtating " Fine!" Poor mum, but it's so typical to piss mum off, Madde loves to do that she has always done that.
Well anyway when Krisen had just been here a few minuts Madde walked throw the door we just stopped talking and the silence startes. Madde just walked straight by Krisen and gave me a hug, then she sat down on a chair opposite off Krisen. They where just staring at each other with black eyes without saying a word, they use to say that lookes can kill and between mum and Madde that was so true! They just stared at each other. It was areally bad atmosphere in here.
Me and Jensen looked at each other and wounder what we would do. I tried to say something but both off them just looked at me like they wanted to kill me, so I didn't say anything more. Jensen look my hand and kissed it and looked at me like they where crazy, which was proably true. After a while of f staring mum desided to leave she siad that hs needed to go to work.
I can just imadgen how much she must have yelled at Ponuts too. haha poor Pottan :P
When she left the air got so much easier to breath. Then I asked Maded about yesterday what she thought about the swing?" She smiled and said " What do you
think? It was fucking amazing! Okay not that sex isn't always amazing especially with Jared, he's so damn good and sexy!!" Jensen looked freaked out said " Is this what you guys call girl talk? But it should be called sex talk" Madde said " My little Jensen you have lot to learn about us, you know what we are talking about know is just he foreplay we haven't even gotten to the details yet" I laughed and kissed he's cute face. Madde looked at me and said " That swing was intersting, I love it! I just wish we had gotten so far so I got to come there with Jared, because then I gotten two warm , nice times yesterday first with Jared and then with Pontus, but I wouldn't mind Dennis eiether" I laughted and looked at Jensen, he was so cute, almost like he just wanted to disappear, but he acutally asked confusing" Warm, nice times what are you acutaly talking about?" Both me and Madde laughted and Madde said " What do you think? " Jensen said " I don't know" Madde said " Orgasms stupied, if you know what that is. Or maybe Tove have never had one while you two are having sex? Just kididng, I know she have, she tells me everything, even that you made her come twice sometimes" Now poor Jensen looked even more terrified and uncomfterble. Jensen isn't really that person who loves to talk about he's sexlife with others. But he said " Of course I do, I'm not 5! Ofcourse she have, if she hasn't faked them all" I laughted and said " I have faked sometimes but never with you, because I never need to, you always knews how to do it good so I don't need to fake it" Madde said " I would never fake it! I would just say to the guy that he suck in bed!" I laughted and said " I know! But was Dennis hot?" Maded smiled and said " Oh yeah!! You have to see him" I laughted and said " i would love too!" Then Maddes phone called and it was Jared who asked if she could get home, so she said good bye and left.
I can't belive they got cought, so funny! :P haha But luck Madde that she wasn't that undressed comparied to Jared who had pot shirt and pants down ;) haha But he's hot so why not ;) haha

Well before I end this inlay I have to tell you that Kian, Shane and Mark when home today, to celebrate shanes birthday. But we will she them soon again since they are going to the cottage thsi summer. I hope they have a good flight home. And then I just have to say Happy Birthday too Shane who is turning 30 tomorrow!! :D So hope he will have a great day with he's family and freinds! :)

That's was all from me :)

Madde will write tomorrow if she si still alive if Krsien't haven't killed her :P

Have a nice evening!

Kisses

Tove