Everyday should be like this...

Hello!

Yepp, now we are home again... it sucks! I so don't want to be home, I want to go back to the cottage but hopefully we are going back there soon again :) can't wait! :D

Things have been so calm today, I woke up this morning to a beautiful voice asking if I was awake and then to look into the eyes of the most perfect man in the world is just over the moon. I gave Nico a smile and he kissed my forehead and laid down next to me and took my hand. He stroke my scar and looked really thoughtful, I touched his face with my fingers and asked what was going on inside that gorgeous head of his. He just smiled and said "Nothing really, I was just thinking about everything that has happened and how much I love spending time with you.". I gave him a fast kiss on the cheek and rested my head on his chest and said "I love spending time with you too, and I miss you so much when you're not here. This week in the cottage was great, getting to spend so much time with you.". He let out a pleased sigh and said "I miss you too when you are not with me. I don't know if I can live without you by my side.". I smiled and said "I feel the same.". Then we just laid there for a while but then we desided to get up and take a walk.

We walked our usual way and I told him about that dude that came and started hitting on me when i walkd alone, Nico just said that if he saw the guy he would rip his lungs out. Thankfully we didn't see him and could continue our walk without further insidents. We started talking about the cottage and he said that he had had a great time and I said "Me too! It was so great to be with you a whole week and of course the rest of the hotties there." and I hit him playfully on his arm. He laught alittle and said "yeah I bet. I can't really say that i'm happy that you sleep around so much though.". I didn't really understand where that came from and said "Well, that's me, I've done that since i was 13... Are you jealous or something?" and gave him a cheesy smile. He didn't smile back thought and said "Yeah I know but you should stop. All those guys just take advantage of you and will end up hurting you. I hate that. And no, I'm not jealous... or maybe alittle.". I stopped him and looked him in the eyes and said "Well, I take advantage of them too and I won't get hurt. I knew it! hahaha you are jealous!". He sighed and rolled his eyes and said "You can't promis that. okayokay, I'm abit jealous but we can't do anything." I gave him a kiss on the cheek and said "Myabe not, but if I get hurt you'll be there right? and i know we can't, but I can't say that i don't want to..". He smiled, stroke my cheek and said "of course i will, but please don't get hurt. I can't really say that I don't want to either..." I took his hand and told him to quit worrying and then we continued our walk.

When we got home again we met Jensen, Tove and My in the hallway and as soon as My saw nico she ran into his legs and hugged them. Nicky laughed and picked her up so he could hug her properly and then she said "Do you and Madde want to play games with me, jensen and Tove?". Nico looked at me and we both nodded and said "Sure thing." we followed them upstairs to Mys room and picked out Diamantjakten. I really hate that game because I always lose and I hate that, I'm a really poor loser. But I'm not alone becuase both nico and Jensen are bad loser as well. When we sat there on the floor in mys room and played I had most money and I loved it but the all of the sudden Jensen turned a piece and there was the diamond. He of course got really happy and counted his money to see if he could fly back to start but he couldn't. Both me and nico got a bit angry and searched for a Visa like crazy but couldn't find one. of course both My and Tove found one and my was closest do goal and walked in first. Jensen got most upset because he was so close at winning and then he said that he wanted a remacth so me played again and this time i found the diamond and Nico gave me an evileye and so did jensen. My just laught but Tove started to get angry with us because we are such poor losers. But this time i actually won and got really happy and sang "I won I won who won? i did!" and gave nico a kiss on the cheek but he just looked at me angry and said "I hate this game!" and Jensen said "So do i!". I couldn't do anything else but laugh at then and tell them that they are poor loser but then they looked at each other and stood up and I didn't know what they were going to do but all of the sudden nico grabbed me around my torso and Jensen took my legs and they started walking downstairs. I screamed the whole time and tried to get loose but they are pretty stong and when they had walked out on the backyard I knew what they were going to do and I sceamed "Don't you dare!!! NICKY BYRNE!! JENSEN ACKLES DON'T YOU DARE!!". But ofcourse they dared and threw me into the pool. When i got back to the surface I yelled at them to help me up but they just stood there. Then i gave nico a look that said "Help me up or else." so he told jensen that they should help me up and both of them reached down with a hand. I grabbed both their hands and put all my weight in it and pulled both of them down. Jensen got back to the surface pretty fast and started to laugh but then i wondered where Nico was because he hadn't comed up yet but then he pulled me down under the surface and started to tickle me. He is one of the few who can do it and i thought I was going to die but then he stopped and both of us got back to the surface and got up from the pool.

My was laughing her bum off of course and Tove was standing there with an evil smile on her face. Then all of the sudden Jared comes running thought the door asking what was going on because he heard sceams. Then he saw Jensen, Nico and I and started to laugh and asked what happened. nicky told him but it was really hard to understand anything he was saying because he was laughing so hard so Jensen took over and explained. I thought Jared was going to laugh himself to death and said "Well, there you go for behing such a poor loser!" i said "Now i got this for being such a good winner and they for boing such poor losers." then nico said "yeah right, we are the poor losers, you got realyl angry when My won." I just hit his arm and told him to shut up. Then we went back inside and changed our clothes and Nico borrowed a shirt and jeans form Jensen. It was a bit big but he still looked like a million dollars, he always does. :) Then we desided to just watch a movie and calm down. I was really cold because it wasn't so warm outside and the water wasn't the warmest either so I got a blanket and put it over me and cuddled up next to Nico who put his arm around my shoulders and stroke my arm. it was so cozy and I just wanted to time to freeze so we could stay like that forever. I looked at Jensen who was sitting with his arms wrapped around Tove and he gave me a short smile and a wink with one eye. i smiled at him and then i looked at Jared who looked at me and Nico with a wierd look. I couldn't really put it somewhere and gave him a "what's the matter" look but he just smiled alittle and went back to watching the movie. I really hope jared has gotten over me but it still feels like he has feelings for me and wants to get back together with me. but I don't think I'm up for it, i guess I might still have some feelings for him and he makes me feel safe but me heart is filled with love for Nico and untill that ahs passed I'm not sure I can be with someone in that way. God it drives me crazy!

Well after the movie and after dinner everyone started to leave the house except Jensen, Nico, Jared, Tove, Emil and I because we adults are going to be partyguards to Emils party. Emil had told us to not be on the firstfloor because he didn't want us to embarress him infront of his friends so we said "okay, only if you promis us that you will call for us if you need anything or if anything happenes." he promised but we all stayed downstairs untill his first friends had arrived. Emil was alittle nervous, i don't really know why but I suppose it must have been because it was the first time he threw a party. he asked Tove and I if we used to have alot of parties at home when we were his age and we just started to laugh and I said "Oh you should just know. Everytime we were alone we threw a party with alot of guys. But the wierd thing is that we threw alot of parties even though Niklas and Sara was home and they were suppose to babysit us." Tove said "Yeah but Niklas and Sara was so cool that they told us to have a party because thy wanted to have fun too.". Emil said "Can't you guys be like that too?" all of us started to laugh and I said "oh you really don't want us to be like Nikals and Sara because even thought they let us party they were with us and our friends and always embarressed us. Once we had a popcorn bowl and niklas took it and then everytime a girl wanted some popcorn he told them to ive him or kiss or else they wouldn't get any popcorn. He can be so irritating! Tove and I yelled at him because of it and said that no one wanted popcorn if he said like that and then Sara came over and siad of course they do and gave Nikals a kiss and took popcorn. So annoying!". Everyone started to laugh even Emil and Tove and I just laught to the memory. I can't believe how much that has happened from when we were Emils age. I miss it sometimes, it was so easy and you didn't have to worry about adult things.. you could just laugh, love and have fun.

When all his friends had arrived we went upstairs but we had no idea what to do. First of course someone came up with watching a movie but i don't think we have a single movie left in the house that we havn't seen allready. But then Jared came up with Guitar Hero and of course jensen and Nico said yes so Tove and I just ahd to go with them. I'm not really good at it, but the funny thing is that I'm better on medium then easy. But anyway first nico and jensen played on hard and Jensen won. Nico wasn't so happy but when he came and sat down next to me and I took his hand and kissed it he got abit happier. Then it was Tove and my turn, and guess what! I won!! :D YAY!! hahaha I'm the best! Tove is a LOOOOOOSER!!! :D hahahah :P After us I was going to play against Jared, which i really didn't want to because I hate to lose and you always lose if you play against that man. We played on medium and I got 87% and jared got 100%... ofcourse! Then he asked if Nicky wanted to play in professional but he just shook his head and I knew that Jared didn't like that because I had a feeling that he wanted to kick nicos ass. But then Jensen said that he wanted to play so they did but of course Jared won again, he got a 100% there too and Jensen got 94%. Jensen wasn't so happy but he is kind of used to it, they always play Guitar hero when they are in Vancover working and Jared is like the master of guitar hero :P We played for like 2 hours but then both Tove, Nico and I were tired of it so we asked the other two if we could do something else. None of them were happy about the idea, especially not jensen because he was so close at reaching a 100 too. But then Tove said that she was going to go downstairs and see how things were going down there. So she left us and Nico and I continued to watch jared and Jensen playing. When she got back we asked how things were going and she just said that things were good and she didn't see anything that shouldn't be there.
After playing for another hour we desided to go back to the original plan and watch a movie. We all sat down in the movie room with the big sofas and put on "over her dead body". it was pretty good and then in the middle of the movie jensen and jared says "Hey! It's Misha!! Omg, what a horndog!" we all just started to laugh becuase in the movie he was trying to kiss the main actress but she didn't want to. I just totally love misha, he is so much fun and he is a very good actor. The movie was pretty good and we laught alot, but you know it was a love story but it wasn't one of the best once because I didn't cry. Tove was like looking at me all the time to see if i would cry and after doing that like 20 times i got sick of it and told her to stop it because I wasn't going to cry and then everyone started to laugh again. I don't know what has been with us today, we have laught all day and it's been such an easy day. No fighting, no arguing or anything just laughter and hnging out. I loved today. And Nicky and Tove managed to go a whole day together without fighting. Thank you guys :) Love ya!

When the clock started to turn 12 we went downstairs and told everyone that the party was over and that they should all start to head home. Everyone ofcourse yelled no and started to beg us "just another hour!" but we stuck to it and after just 30 minutes everyone had left except Wilma who was going to spend the night here. Aaw little Emil is growing up but he is so not ready for sex yet. We told them to go to bed and they did without a fuss but I think the talked and kissed for a while before sleeping. So cute :). I remember my first boyfriend, it was Nisse... You know the guy Tove and I fought about a few months ago. But then we broke up and I got together with a guy called pontus. At first he seemed like any other guy but he turned out to be a wackjob! he jumped off a balcony at a party and almost killed himself! crazy! But now I only have good guys around me, Jared and Nico. Althought none of them are my boyfriend but i still love them and they are there for me. After another hour jensen and Tove said that they were going to head to bed and so did jared so they left Nico and me in the livingroom. We sat there talking about stuff and eating icecream. It was so cozy, it was like a dream. We laught alot and had a really good time and before we knew it the clock was 4 in the morning. None of us was really tired so we put on a DVD series; 21 jump street. We put a blanket over us and after about two episodes Nico fell asleep and I desided it was a good time to blog. So there you go, that was my day. A calm, great day, I wish every day would be like this.

Before I wrap this up I just wanted to write this too...

Well, when we were on our way back home from the cottage I was talking with Jensen alittle. And we got talking about Nico ofcourse and me and Tove. And well he said that he thought the best thing would be if both me and Tove backed off from Nico and zaras relationship. But then I asked why I was going to have to give up everything to save mine and Toves relationship when she doesn't have to give up anything. I don't get that and neither did Jensen. I mean, if Tove and I are going to work this out that means that i'm going to have to give up th man I really love, I've never ever felt like this for anyone before and now she asks me to give it up for her. And she doesn't have to give up anything in return. Where is the fair deal in that? I'll tell you, there are none! I know Nico is taken but that doesn't have to stop me from seeing him and spending time with him and really, Tove should stay out of this because it has nothing what so ever to do with her! She has no part in this even if she thinks so and Jensen said that i should tell her that so here I go. And Tove don't get mad with jensen because of that but he is right, this has nothing to do with you and if you demand that I have to give the man of my dreams up to save our relationship you are asking to much even though I love you with all my heart. You shouldn't ask that of me and especially not when you don't have to give up something so important yourself.

Well now I'm going to sleep too, Nico is looking really peaceful, so adorable. I've missed him.
Good night
Take care
Love
Madde