Good night, bad day.

Hey y'all.

Hope you are doing good because I can tell you that I'm doing pretty good myslef. Things are getting back to the way they used to be, Tove is home again, she and Jensen are closer then ever. Jared is here and I'm spending alot of time with him, Krisen is still pissed off and I've had sex with three really hot guys in a week. ;) well let's take all of this from the beggining.

Yesterday Krisen desided that we all had to go with her and Johan out for dinner... I don't really know why because i thought she wanted to spend a romantic evening alone with johan but i guess not. Anyway Tove and Jensen escaped that terrible fate and stayed home just because tove is a little liar. I actually can't believe all of us didn't see right trough it because she is such a horrible liar but I suppose we are so worried about her that we just believe her. And maybe because her boyfriend the actor helped her out. But I'm kind of happy that she got to spend some alone time with him at home because then she finaly could get some and stop yelling at me whenever i write that I have gotten some. :P Anyway we got ready for our dinner out and everyone looked really great like tove wrote but she just wrote that jared looked good but he looked absoultley amazing!! he was so fucking smoking hot that I didn't really know where to go! Anyway we finally got going to the restaurant and while we were eating we were mainly talking about jensen and tove. Or it was Donna, Krisen, Johan and Alan who was doing most of the talking but once in a while they asked me what i thought and i just said that I would love it if tove said I do to jensen so that they could get married and get kids. I think both Jensen and Tove will make amazing parents but I don't think Tove agrees with me. Jensen loves kids and he really seems to be sure that he wants babies and Tove loves kids as well but I suppose she doesn't think she is ready but she is. Atleast that is what I think.

Well after dinner we all went home and well, you all know that i hanged out with Tove for a while but when she and everyone else finally went to bed I waited about a half an hour so that I would be sure they wouldn't get up again. Then I gave Dennis a call and said that he could come over if he wanted. He said "i'll be there in 15 minutes." and then we hung up. After about 15 minutes he carefully knockd on the door and I opened it, he looked so hot that it was crazy!! He had a black shirt and a pair of dark jeans on and his hair was perfectly messy, just the way I like it. I let him inside and closed and locked the door. I thought that it would be a bad idea to stay downstairs for to long so I told him to follow me and lead him upstairs to my room. When both of us had entered I locked the door behind us and I told him to make himself comfortable so he sat down on the bed and he looked alittle like he didn't really know what to do so i asked if we should watch a movie and he said "yeah sure, what movie?" I said that it didn't matter and then I showed him my movie collection and told him to pick one. Of course he was to shy to pick one so i just put my hand down in it and picked up Dirty Dancing. How convenient I thought, watching a sexy musical while hanging out with a sexy cop. ;) While I was putting the disk in the DVD he made himself even more comfortable and layed himslef down on the bed so that he could watch the movie. I walked over to the bed and layed myslef down next to him but after about 30 mintues into the movie I was resting my head on his chest and he was stroking my arm with his fingers.

You know in that movie when Baby tells Johnny that she loves him and then she asks him to dance with him and it's really sexy and they have sex for the first time... well, I got really jealous of her that i wanted to do the same. Not the dance but the sex part. So I slowly put my hand under his shirt and felt his gorgeous abs under it. I looked up on his face and whn he looked back at me I gave him a kiss and when our lips parted he gave me a smile and then he put his hand behind my neck and pulled me into another kiss. I got up on my knees and put each knee on each side of him and started to kiss him more eagarly. With my fingers I started to undo his shirt while he was stroking my back and kissing my lips. When i finally got all the buttons open I kissed his lips, his neck, his chest and got lower and lower when I got to the jeans I undid them aswell and he started to breath a little bit faster. I stopped what i was doing and sat back up, I looked into eyes that was filled with desire and lust. I slowly started to take my top off and his hands that was resting on my hips followed it up and stroke my sides and boobs. I threw the top on the floor and he took a hold of me and rolled over so that he was ontop. he kissed my chest and stomack while his finger were behind my back undoing my bra. He took it off and caressed my boobs and kissed them then he took ahold of me again and rolled over so i was ontop. I continued with what i had been starting which was undoing his jeans. I pulled them down and took them off and then I pressed my body against his and kissed him deeply. I left his lips with mine and worked myself downwards past his chest and abs and when I got to his boxers I slowly pulled them down while kissing him lower and lower. He started to breath even faster and got excited. I pulled them off compleatly and then he rolled over again and he pressed his fit body against mine. I was getting pretty worked up and when i felt his soft lips wander down my chest, boobs and stomach I couldn't keep but moaning and he undid my jeanse and pulled them off. He went back to kissing my lips and while he did that his hand got inside my panties and he gently caressed me. I heard myslef moan louder and loader and then I just wanted him inside of me so I helped him pull my panties off and he kissed my neck and slowly did as I wanted. he stopped kissing me for a while and just moved faster and faster while i was moaning louder and louder. Then he satrted to kiss me again with lips whos movement was filled with desperation and eager. It was really amazing! He was soooo good that it was crazy and I never ever wanted him to get out of me. I wanted him to stay there forever but of course that isn't possible....

When he got off me both of us was breathtaken and I just crawled closer to him, kissed his wonderful lips and rested my head on his chest. There we both fell alseep and we hadn't moved an inch because we woke up in the were same way. He gave me a kiss and siad "Good morning beautiful." I smiled and felt alittle mischievous so i said "hey sexy." and kissed him while moving my hand lower on his stomach. He put his hand behind my neck and pulled me closer while I caressed his miniDennis. He rolled over ontop of me and kissed me harder and enthusiasticly, i didn't let go but with my other hand I stoke his back over his ass and up again. He moved the hand he had on my boob to my hand which was doing some work on him and then he pulled it up and I put it behind his neck. He looked at me and I smiled when he gently put it in me yet again and everything started all over. He kissed me and when i had to catch my breath he just moved his lips to my neck and I stroke his back then he rolled over so taht i was ontop and with his gorgeous hands he stoke me over the back and ass and then he cupped it in my hollow of the knee and pulled my leg up. I kissed his neck and chest and then his lips again and then he rolled over and finished the job. And once again he did a great job and I must say that i absloutly love his stamina and desperation. We were just lying there for awhile but then his phone rang and he had to pick it up. aparantly it was krisen who said that they ahd to to work earlier and that she was leaving th house in 5 mintues. We ot really happy that she said when she was leaving because that meant we could do everything in our power to keep them form seeing each other. I followed him downstairs and before he left he turned to me and gave me a deep sexy kiss and said "When can I see you again?" I gave him a smile and then another kiss and said "When ever you like to sexy. I'm going to miss you and be thinking about you all day.". He said "Good, then what do you say about tomorrow night?" I kissed him again and stroke my hand over his ass and said "name time and place and i'll be there." He smiled and said "I'll call you. See ya. Bye." and then he kissed me goodbye and left.

I felt really good this morning as you can imageon after a night like that so I sat down with my breakfast in the livingroom infront of the tv and when Tove came down and saw me I said "Good morning! isn't this just a glorious day?". She looked at me really wierd and then she said "Was he that good!? God I'm so jealous! you have to tell me everything!" So she sat down next to me and I told her about how good he was and that i'm going to see him tomorrow night aswell. She was really jealous and then she said "It's so not fair! I want to!" then we heard a voice say "Want what?" and we both saw Jensen standing in the doorway. Both of us said "oh, ehm. Nothing." and then Tove got up and gave him a kiss. I could tell he didn't really believe us but he doesn't have to know everything :P ahahha Thn he joined us and we talked and watched some tv. After like an hour Jared came down and joined us aswell, he sat down next to me and put a hand on my thigh. I crawled closer to him and he put his arm around my shoulders and stroke my arm with his fingertips. Gosh, sometimes I really miss having a boyfriend...

Then all of the sudden my phone rang and it was Nicky, he asked if we should take a walk and I just said "yeah sure.". I told the guys that I was going for a walk and they just said "allright, see ya later" but Tove wasn't so happy thought. When Nico finally came over and we started our walk he seemes alittle bit down and wasn't as happy as he use to. He took my hand and then he did something he haven't done in weeks, he looked at it and gently stroke his fingertips over my scar and he looked even sader. I stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said "Nothing, It's just not such a good day today." I said "Why not? You havn't looked at my scar in weeks and now suddenly you do.". He couldn't even look me in the eyes so he glared at the ground and said "I kind of had a fight with Zara and suddenly she said that it was my fault that you hurt yuoself and that both of us would be better of if we didn't hang out.". I just couldn't believe my ears! I said "What!? I can't believe it! It is not your fault! It's all my fault and both of us know it, even Zara knows it! You did everything in you power to stop me!" He looked at me carefully and said "Are you sure, I don't think this would have happened if i wasn't around.". I looked him in the eyes and I felt that I was getting more and more angry and I said "Don't be stupid Nicky Byrne! It would have happened sooner if you weren't there! Do I have to remind you of what really happened?" He looked down again and siad "No you don't, but why would Zara say that then?" I sighed and said "I don't know. But she told Tove yesterday that she is scared that you will leave her for me. And that she is afraid that you love me in the same way you love her." He looked back into my eyes and said "I wouldn't leave her, I love her to much. And about the way I love you, I don't even know myslef... I love you, I do. But I love Zara too so much.". I stoke his perfekt face and siad "Don't worry, I know. You guys will work this out but remember I will always be here for you, no matter what." He smiled alittle and siad "I sure hope so. I know honey, and I will always be there for you, no matter what.". I gave him a hug and we continued our walk. I still can't believe Zara would blame nicky for everything that has happened, even if she is scared and upset. That is not a reason to hurt Nico so much, because that was the worse thing she could have said to him. I really just want to giv her a call and ask what is wrong with her but I just can't because it will probobly make evrything worse. I just wish she could understand how fucking lucky she is to have a man like nicky, because she is the luckiest woman on earth. It's impossible to find a man tthat loving, caring and wonderful as him, he is just pure perfection. And i hate to see that perfect face and soul hurt and sad.

When we got home and said goodbye I asked him what he was going to do and he said that he was going to stay away from home a few more hours, maybe go and pay someone a visit. He wasn't really ready to go home just yet. I gave him a hug and he gave me a little smile and left. I walked into the livingroom and Tove, Jensen and Jared were still sitting there. They asked why I looked so grumpy but i just said "Nothing, i don't want to talk about it." Tove said "Are you two fighting?". Because I was so angry with Zara I snapped and siad "No we're not but that would make you happy wouldn't it!". As soon as those words had left my lips I regreted them and Tove just looked at me with eyes filled with confusion, anger and hurt. I shook my head and walked up to my room. When I layed down on my bed I heard a knock on the door and just told the person to leave me alone but Jensen still opened it and walked in. I sat up and looked at him and he walked over and sat down next to me. He said "Was that really necessary?" I sighed and siad "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm just so angry and what Tove said just made me burst.". He gave me a hug and I could feel tears well up in my eyes. When he saw that he asked what really had happened and I todl him everything. During the story the tears started to pour down my cheeks and when I finshed he siad "Well, I must agree with you, that was a really stupid thing to say to him. I know that you love him with all your heart and trust me, I know how much it hurts to be away from the person who has stolen your heart. But maybe it's a good thing that he is going to china with Zara the day after tomorrow." I stopped crying and looked at him with big eyes and siad "iS IT THURSDAY THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW!!" He nodded and asked if I had forgotten. I just nodded and felt even more down. Jensen stroke my cheek and looked into my eyes and siad "madde, don't worry. I'm sure he will call and I doubt that you guys will stop hanging out. I just want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever need someone to talk to and you don't really know if you can go to Tove or jared or someone you can alwyas come to me. You were there for me when Tove and I had broken up and without you i don't think I would have managed to get through but i did and i owe you for that." I smiled and said "Thank you Jensen, I'll alwyas be here for you too. I love you, you are an amazing guy and friend." He gave me another hug and siad "i love you too honey. Don't worry about anything, it's all going to be better soon.". I smiled and he walked out of the room and left me to my thoughts. It feels really good to have jensen there with me, he is a really great guy and Tove is one lucky woman to have him as her boyfriend. But i'm lucky too to have him as a friend. During his and Toves fight we got closer and he has been a really good friend through eveything tat has happened. It's really nic to know he is there with me.

Well i spent the rest of the day in my room thinking and then I realized that Jareds birthday is coming up soon, in about 12 days and I still haven't thought about anything to give him. So I started my computer and started looking around at things that might be a good present to him but i didn't find anything. It's so hard to find something good to men, I don't get it. Tove women you can buy anything, jewelry, bags, shoes, clothes... anything. Maybe i should buy him a nice shirt or something... nah, tat is so boring. Jensen got a rolex from Tove so i have to get Jared something just as nice. Why does it have to be so hard? Thank god I have a few more days on me before i have to buy it. :)

At dinner it was really quiet around the table, it was just the kids what were talking. I didn't really feel like talking and well Krisen is to pissed off and i guess Tove was angry with me too... After dinner I went back to my room and after a while Jared joined me and we crawled closer together and watched the Guardian. I just felt like crying so I picked that movie, I always cry to it.

Now I'm going to hit the pillows and sleep, I'll write more on thursday. That will probobly be a pretty das inlay becuase Nico is leaving...

Take care
Love
Madde