Blond Biatch!!

Hey guys, things are still kind of messed up if you ask me..

I'm pretty pissed off on one person and you might now who I'm talking about, yeah that's right Nicky. When him and Zara had sex the other night it feels like he just used her and that makes me so angry! He loves her and shouldn't treath her like she is some kind of whore and espcially since he say he is not inlove with her, but I don't know... But madde was right that the only one who can make the destion if it's going to be Madde or Zara is Nicky and he can't even tell Zara who he feels. If he choose Madde then she have to make a choice which is me or Nicky. I think I all reday know the answer to that but let's just hope I'm wrong..
Well let's not make this inlay as depressing as Maddes and I will do my best not to but I'm not promising anything..

I have to say that Madde is dumb!! She thinks I suck! That is so mean, she said that because she thinks I'm a bad laier and I have no idea where she had gotten that idea from, I'm the best lair in the whole world, so she si weird.. ;P And she thinks she knows everything about me.. which maybe is true.. but she also seems to think that she can get in to my brain and read my minds which isn't true. Because she and everyone else have some weird idea that I'm thrilled about haveing a baby, which is absoultly not true and that I hind that I'm thrilled about it.. and then I asked why she thought that and all she said was " Because you just are, I have seen you" What kind of answer is that, she is a weird chick :P haha It's not like Madde would love beeing pregnate that would be the worse nightmare for her, so I can't understand that she thinks I enjoy it to get fater everyday and then I'm not just talking about the belly.. People in my family are strange :P haha
Madde isn't the only one who have tried to make me admit that I'm happy about this. I woke up this morning of some one stroking my belly, so I opend my eyes and looked right into my amazing mans eyes and he strok my cheek with the other hand and said " You are the best thing that have ever happend too me, you and our baby " I smiled and said " I feel the same way about you " Jensen said " not about the baby? " I didn't answer and he sign and said " Can you stop beeing so stubborn and just admit that you are as happy as I'm, because I can see you are in your eyes because you always lights up when we talks about the baby. " I said " No I don't.. " Jensen said " Okay if you say so then we should order a time for abortion. Because I don't want you to have a baby that you don't even want to have, that will not make anyone of us happy " I said " What? how can you say that, this baby is like the best thing that have ever happend to you!" He said " Yes maybe it is but I don't want you to do something you don't want to do. So how he calling the hospital you or me? " I said " What.. I don't want the abortion.. " Jensen said " And why is that? " I sign and said " Because.. I want the baby... " Which I think was kind of a lie but Jensen got happy and said " I knew it! " I just said " Shut up! " He smiled and kissed me, then he walked up from the bed and just put on a pair of pants and then he grabed my hand and pulled me up frfom the bed and into his arms and gave me a hug and a kiss on my forhead and then we walked down stairs.

And it was empty in the kitchen so Jensen did a sandwish and I made coffiee and then we sat down to eat and My came running into the kitchen and throw herself into Jensens arams and hugged him and gave him a drowing that she had done and he looked at it and smiled and gave My another hug and said thanks, My smiled and said " It's you holding your baby " Jensen gave her kiss on her cheek and then my clamined over to me and sat down in my lap and said " Can I look at your belly ? " I said " No " Jensen laughted and pulled my top up and My smiled and strok my belly and said " I still think Lotta and Bamse is good names " We laughted and said " Sorry My but it probably will not me Lotta or Bamse " I kissed her cheek and My said " I want to go the the playground can't you follow me? " I said " Sorry, I don't feel that well today, maybe later? " My said sad " But I wanted to go now. " I hugged her and said " I know honey, I'm sorry " My looked sad and I gave her a kiss and then Jensen said " I can come with you if you like? Then we can leave Tove her so she can rest and i she feels better she can come an join us later, what do you say? " My had a big smile on her face again and throw herself around Jensens neck and said " That sounds great! You are the best!" Jensen also had a big smile on his face and I can really see how much he loves My and care about her they are so cute :)

So after breakfast Jensen got dressed and gave me a kiss and said I should call if I needed something then he and My left. And I walked upstairs and laied down in bed to rest because I was feeling really sick, but after a few minuts it knocked on the door and Jess showed up in the doorway and asked if she could come in and I said yes. She laied down next to me and I asked what she wanted and she said " Nothight just to talk to you a little it was a while go now. " I smiled and said " So how are you doing? About Mikel and all that ? " She said " I'm good or even great because me and Mikale is back to being freinds and maybe something more " I sign and said " I'm not even going to tell you want I think about that" She said " I don't care what you think or don't think, so let's talk about something else.. How are you doing? " I said " If you mean right now? then I feel really nauseous but if you mean in general then things are really good and really bad if that makes any sence " She sign and said " Is the bad part that you and Madde are fighting? " I said " Fighting I don't know if that's the right word.. but things are not like it use to be between us and I hate it. " Jess said " I can understand that.. and the good part is that Jensen? " I smiled and said " Yes mostly anyway but also everyone else I love too " She smiled and said " And the pregantcy which category dose that belong to, the bad or the good side? " I smiled and said " I haven't really made a destion about that yet.. " She smiled and said " You should be happy, I would love to have a baby " I looked at her and said firmly " You are not going to have a baby now! You have so many years after that to have a baby with a man you love and now you have to live your life and have fun. You have so many years to be an growen up later " She said " I won't get pregnate now even thought I still would love to have a baby " I said " You can borrow mine as much as you like " She laughted and said " Thanks " then I just rused up from the bed into the bathroom to throw up and the I walked back to the bed and Jess gave me a hug and said " Okay I don't want to be pregnate " I said " Good " Then Jess phone called and I could see on her face that it was Mikael so she smiled and walked out of my room too talk. I reallt don't trust that dude..

Well then I realize that I hadn't taken a walk with the dogs so I got up since I was feeling better now and walked down stairs and put on theire leash and walked outside and started to walk but I had just taken a few steps when someone called my name so
I turned around and saw Kian who was walking towards me, so I stopped and wait even thought I didn't really feel like it. When he was standing right infrot of me he gave me a hug and asked if I was on my way out on a walk and I said yes, so he said " Can I come with you? " I said " Of course " Then he smiled and said " You look great and congratulations to the pregantcy " I smiled and said " Thanks. " Kian said " I just want to say that I'm sorry about that evening we had togheter that should never had happend. Because I know that you lost Jensen and Sean for that and I'm sorry " I said " You are right it never should have happend , but it did and I'm also sorry because it was both of us fault. But the positive thing is that me an Sean broke up and I relized that I never loved him at the same way as I did with Jensen. And after our break up when we got back togheter we have never been this close before, so that was a good thing. " He smiled and said " You are happy with him? " i smiled and said " Yes very! " Then I asked why he was out on a walk and not babysiting Nicky, he laughted and said " Babysitting is that what I'm doing ? " I said " Yeah kind of " He laughted and said " Well Zara came over and I thought I would leave them alone. " I said " Oh okay.. so what do you think about al this? " He sign and said " I don't know.. I mean I love both Zara and Madde they are very good women.. But he say he is inlove with Madde and not with Zara.. but to be honest even thought he is crazy about Madde now and she is madly inlove with him, and we all know Madde that she can change her mind in a day or two and that is not what
Nicky needs and even thought she say that se have never feelt like this for anyone else before I'm not so sure. I mean when she meet Johnny she said those excat words and so she did when she meet Jared too and maybe Pontus too.. and after a few weeks she started to sleep around again.. but at the other hand if he isn't inlove with Zara that isn't much better but I still think they should give it another chanse for the kids and themself, they owe each other that after all this years they have been toghter. And they haevn't really tried again not for real, maybe go out on a few dates and just hang out and maybe even some professional help, they can't just give up like this.. that is what I think but unfortently I can't make his destions.. " I sign and said " I have to say that I agree with you. " Then we walked in silence for a while and then we where at the playgaround where My and Jensen was, I saw Jensen siting on a bench talking to a women, so mee and Kian walked over there and I sat down next to Jensen and gave him a kiss and then she looked at us and stood up and said that it was time for her to go. Then Kian also sat down next to Jensen and I looked at Jensen and said " So who was she? " He said " Some women I talked too " Then My came running towards us crying and she was bleeding from her knee, and she throw herslef around my neck and I tried to compfert her and when she had calm down then we desided that it was time to go home and My said " It hurts when I walk " So Jensen smiled and said " You can ride on my shoulders ifyou like " My smiled and got up on his shoulders and now she was happy again, and Kian walked home to Nicky again.

When we got home I took My too the the bathroom to wash the wound and I put on a princess band-aid they she ran of to her room to play.
So I wlaked into the kitchen where I found Jensen, Tim and some women. When she saw me she came over with a big fat smile on her face and said " Hello I'm Molly, I'm Tims freind " I inturduce myslef and then she said " OH my God you are pregnate, I'm so happy for you!" I looked at ther like she was crazy and then she did something that I hate when people do even thoughs I love and this women I didn't even know!! She put her hand on my belly and countine to talk really happy and I just got really angry and both Tim and Jensen saw that because just what I'm going to ask that Bitch what she was doing Jensen grabed my arm and Tim told Molly to follow him to his room. When they left the room I said angry " Fucking bitch!! " Jensen just kissed me and told me to calm down.

So I walked up to my room and laied down on the bed and I picked the phone up and Madde and she answer and I said angry " There is a blond fucking bitch here! " Madde said " Who? " I said " Tims freind of girlfreind or whatever!! " Madde said " what's wrong with her? " I said " She a bitch that's what's wrong with her!! And she exaggerate everything she do, how she talkes and moves and just everything!! Then she has a ugly big smile on her face and it feels like the whole her is fake! I bet that her boobs are too!! But that isn't the worse she touchen my belly! And I don't even know the women!!" Madde laughted and said " Aren't you over reacting now? " I said angry " Stop laughing and no you haven't meet her! But you will and then you will understand what I'm talking about! " Madde countine laughing and said " You should be happy that Tim finally have got himself a girlfreind " I said " Stop laughing otherwise I will come over there and rip your vocal cord out! Happy?! I would be happy if he had any other girlfreind then her even you would be better then that fucking Molly! I hate that name too by the way!! Bitch!" Madde laughted and said " I'm so scared of you, right now I'm hiding myself. So if I get togheter with Tim when I get back youa re okay with that? " I said " You should be!! Yes I would even be happy about that, instead of that skank!!" Madde laughted and said " Are you sure this isn't just your hormons talking? " I said " Yes I'm sure this bitch Molly is a fucking bitch!! And did I say that I hated that name!!" Madde just laughted and laughted and then she said " So how are you doing? " I said " So we are changeing subject now? " She laugted and said " Yes so how are you feeling? " I said " I'm okay just a little nasuouse " Madde said " Good, how you desided what to call that baby yet? " I said " No not really " She said " Good because I have a suggestion. " I asked what it was and she said happy " Molly " Then she started to laught and I said " Oh shut up never going to happend you are so evil!! I think the baby is going to become the devil now!!" Madde laughted and said " I know! And why is that? " I said " Because that fucking bitch touched my belly and I bet she had some kind of powers and she made my baby to the devil!! " Madde just countine laughinga nd said " Tove come on. " I said " I'm deadly serious, I'm caring around on a devil child now just because of her! Why all the sudden think people they have all right to grope on your stomach just becasue some one is pregnate!! " Madde said " No your not, remebere it have Jensens gens too. Is it that bad? " I said " So you mean I'm the devil? Would you like if stangers came up to you and started to touch your stomach? " Madde laughted and said " Yes you are more then Jensen anyway, he is the angel. I wouldn't say no if it was a hot sexy guy who touched me " I said " Yeah yeah, but that fuckig Molly is the fucking bitch who should keep her hands to herself outwise I will cut them off!! I wouldn't either but it isen't that often that it is a hot sexy guy " Madde said " I want to meet that bitch who made you baby into the devil and if that means that your kid will cry every fucking minte then I'm going to kill her! True " i said " Yeah do that!! Fucking biatch!! " Then mum shouted that it was dinner so I sign and said " honey I have to go, it's dinner time.. and I hope not that fucking bitch is there!! " madde said " Okay.. I wish I was home too.. if she is then hit her from me " I said " So do I.. yeah maybe I will. I love you and miss you so much, please call me tomorrow " She said " I miss you too and love you so much. And I will " Then we said good bye and hang up.

I walked down stairs and Molly was still their and I was still angry and she still had that horrible smile on her face and I just wanted to hit her hard but I didn't! Then My came running towards me and I picked her up and she said " My knee dosn't hurt anymore " I kissed her and said " That's good " Then that bitch walked over to us and started to talk to My like she was a baby and didn't understand anything and My just looked at her like she was crazy and so did I and she asked how old she was and My said " I'm 5 and the cutes kid in the world " Molly said " I bet " Then she piched My in her own cheek and My just said " OW! " And Molly said with a baby voice" You are just so cute!" My said " It hurts!" But that fucking bitch didn 't care! So I said " Didn't you hear what she said? It hurts, so please stop hurting my little sister!" Molly just looked at me hurt and walked away to Tim, but I didn't care about that. My said " What's wrong with her? " I said " I wish I knew" Then I let her down and we started to eat. After Dinner Molly walkde over to me agian and I thought what the hell do that bitch wants now! Then she said " You really hurt me when you said that to me aout your sister and in that tone. But I forgive you it was probably just the hormons " Then she moved her hand and was on her way to touched mty belly again but before she did I grabed it and said " If you ever touch me again then I will cut your hands off and I mean it!" She just laughted and said " Like I said it's probably just the hormones again and later you wouldn't mind if some one touches your belly " I thought I was going to kill her but she was lucky because then Tim told her to come over to him. BITCH!!!

Me and Jensen walked up to our room and I started to tell him what a bitch Molly was and everything, Jensen just listen and then he kissed me and we just laied there for a while.
Right I have to tell you that me and Jensen is going to found out the sex of the baby tomorrow, so that will be exciting and Jensen can barly wait he wants to know now. But we have agreed not to tell anyone not even Madde or Jared what it is intill we have desided name and all that, so you just have to wait.
Well anyway when we had been laying there for a hour or so Jared knocked on the door and asked if we wanted to see a movie and we said yes so we walked into the movie room and starte dto watch some movie. At the end of the movie my cell called and it was Zara and she said that she was waiting in my room. So I gave Jensen a kiss and walked over to my room.

I sat down next to Zara and she acutally looked happy which she haven't done for weeks now, so I asked what was going on and she said " I have had a great evening with Nicky tonight " I smiled and said " okay, tell me? " She smiled and said " This afternoon I knew that Nicky and Kian was going to be out shopping so I walked over to the house and started to cook and I set the table with candels and and roses and all that because before all this me and Nicky always had an romantic dinner on fridays after the kids went to bed and we help each other with the cooking. So when Nicky and Kian came home this afternoon I was standing in the kithen cooking and both nicky and Kian looked suprised and then Kian said he had something else to do so he left. Nicky walked over to me and looked what I was doing and he smiled, that amazing smile. Then he asked if I wanted some help and I of course said yes. While we was cooking we drank some wine and talked and laughted just liek we use too. When the food was done we started to eat and we talked some more and laughted a lot. Then I gave him my engaged ment ring that Sara apprently had keeped instead of throw it away and Nicky looked surorised at me and I just told him that it was along story. I lied the ring in his hand and said " when you gave me this ring it was one of the happiest day of my life and when or if you feel liek doing it again sometimes I would be just as happy. But I'm not pressure you into anything " He just smiled at me and put it in his pocket, then we countine talking and haveing a great time. After the dinner we desided to take a walk on the beach, we walkde in silnce for a while then I said that I wanted him back and that I loved him so much, and asked if he still loved me and he said yes. Then I asked if he was still inlove with me. He told me that he had been a little unsure about those feelings for a while, but after tonight he realized how much he had missed me and that he started to fall inlove with me again. I smiled and he told me that eh still counldn't be without Madde so I said that I had been thinking about this and that I would be okay if he had Madde in his life as a freind, and that he counld see her a few times a week and maybe call her once a day or maybe two just aslong as he has more time for me and the kids and that we would come first and not second. Then he smiled and we walked a few steps then his hand garbed mine and we countine walking and it feelt so good! Then we sat down in the sand and talked and he said " Thanks for this night it's just like before when we was the happiest couple in the world, and this remined me about our good days that I miss so much " I smiled and kissed his cheek and we just sat there for while longer and talking and laughing while he held my hand in his and then he walked me back home, and before we said goodbye he gave me a kiss and said he would call me. Then I told Sara and then I thought I should tesll you so I came over here" I smiled and gave her a hug and said " I haven't seen you this happy in weeks and it feels so good! " We let go of the hug and she said " It feels good too" Then we talkde for a while longer and she looked at the time and it was almost one at night so she said " I think I have to go now because I told Emma to be home at one and not a minut later so then I have to be at home and see if she can keep that time, but I doubt it. " i laughted and said " She sound like you almsot when you where younger " She laughted and said " Shut up!" Then she gave me a hug and said goodbye.

I just hope Madde won't get to hurt about this..

Well after Zara left Jensen walked into our room and laied down next to me and I said " I love you Jensen, you are amazing who can stand me when I'm pregnate " he smiled and said " No I'm not " I said " Yes you are, I wouldn't be abel to do this without you " He smiled and kissed me and said " Fine I'm a sweeitheart, and I would to absolutely anything for you, and I love you too " I gave him a kiss and we lay down on his cheast and we said good night and turned the light on and he strok my back for a while then he fell a asleep and I started to blogg and here I'm right now. And I don't have that much more to say, let's just home that bitch is not in this house anymore she will curse us all tonight! BIATCH!!

Well Good night people and sleep well and Madde will write tomorrow :)
So see ya!
Kisses Tove