Broke...

Heya!

Okay, now I'm totally devastated! Krisen took my money away yesterday and told me to take care of myself! I can't believe she can be so cold hearted to just cut off my money! I can't take care of myself without money, that is like impossible!! What am I going to do to get cash now? sell myslef? That's the only thing I'm good at.... Anyway, let's talk about today...

Once again I didn't sleep so well, I don't know why but I guess i'm starting to get used to it so. I thanked god that Krisen wasn't home because she had already gone to work but I met Tove, jensen and My in the kitchen, the only one who said good morning was Jensen. I guess the other two are still angry with me. I started making a cup of coffee and I heard jensen ask "So Madde, what are you going to do today?". I turned around and looked at him and said "I have no idea, there is nothing i can do because all my money is gone. But I think I'm going to pay Nicky a visit. why?". He nodded and said "Oh okay, nah i was just thinking about the thing we were going to take a look at... when are we going to do that?". I smiled an looked at Tove and I could tell that she got annoyed so i said "Well what about on thuseday? I'm free then." Jensen smiled and said "Great! Then that's a date.". I smiled and said "Awesome!" then I turned back to my coffee making and when i sat down at the table Jared came into the kitchen and he didn't have a shirt on and he looked so fucking hot!! He had just taken a shower so his wet hair was combed backwards and he was still abit wet on his shoulders. I couldn't take my eyes off him and when he walked by me I could smell his colugne and it was amazing! When I couldn't see him anymore I turned back to my coffee and stared at it and then I heard Jensen huff so I looked up at him and he gave me a really mischievous smile. I just stuck my touge out to him and he just laught then he said to Jared "So wahta re you going to do today man?" Jared said "Well, I was actually thinking of going to the gym and work out alittle, anyone wanna come?". Both me and Jensen said "Love to!" then Jared just started to laugh and said "Okay, fine both of you can come. I had no idea I was so popular today.". I just smiled and said "Thanks babe, I could really go with a good workout." he gave me a smile then Tove said "Fine, leave me then. But Jared, why shower before going to the gym?". He just said "I didn't really think of going to the gym untill I stepped out of the shower." we just started to laugh and he sat down adn ate his breakfast with us.

After breakfast I went upstairs to change clothes and then we left for the gym. We took Krisens car because three doesn't fit in my lambo + I have to save my gas because I don't have any money to buy new gas for... thanks to krisen. Anyway when we got to the gym we all started to warm up and then Charlie came over and gave me a hug and shook the lads hands and said "Good to see you guys again, it's been awhile. What do y'all want to do?" I smiled and said "Yeah it's been awhile but now we are back. I know what i want to do and that is box, you know me. Don't know if any of these guys want to be my sparring-partner.". Jared said "I can be your sparring-partner, but after that I was wondering if you jensen wanted to work alittle on our MMA skills." Jensen just smiled and said "Yeah sounds great! I'll just watch when you spar with Madde.". Charlie followed us to the part of the gym where all the boxing stuff is and handed Jared some mits and then he turned to me and I held out my hands so that he could wrap them up and then he handed me some gloves. I asked him to put on some music and he said "sure thing honey, I've got just the thing for you" and then he put on Eye of the Tiger. I love to box to that song because I always feel like Rocky or whatever :P So I began to box, slowly at first just to warm up alittle and then I started to get really in to it. After about 20 mintues Jared stopped me and said "I want to box with you." i just smiled and called for charlie who handed him a pair of gloves and we started jumping around in the ring hitting each other. After a few more minutes he stopped me and I was starting to get alittle annoyed because of it but then he took his shirt off and I just smiled and he said "Do you want me to put it on again, maybe I'm destracting you." I just shook my head and put my hands up so that he would understand that the fight was on again. I saw his abs and arms work under his skin and soon he was all wet from sweat and he looked so hot! Of course he got a few good hits on me but then I thought I should destract him too so I took my top off and had just my sportsbra on. Then we started fighting again and now I had the advantage and got a few very good hits on his ribs and stomach. We have a rule not to punch each other in the face because we don't really want to have bruises in our faces. But then all of the sudden Jared got really out of focus and I accidently hit him really hard on the ribs and all of us heard a crack and he just screamed. I got so scared that i ahd hurted him, I just sat down next to him and he was holding his hand over his ribs and then Jensen came into the ring and asked if he was okay. jared just shook his head and i felt tears fall down my cheeks and I stroke his cheek and said "Oh my god, Jared. Baby I'm so sorry!" he just gave me a soft smile and siad "Don't worry, nice punch honey.". Charlie came running and asked what happened and then he said that he would take a look at it so we helped Jared to sit up against the corner of the ring and I removed his and my gloves and I took his hand in mine and kissed it. He just smiled but then Charlie touched his side and his smiled turned into a painful grimace. Charlie said "Well, it's not broken but you have a fracture. You have to take it easy now for a few weeks and well, make sure madde takes care of you now when she did this to you." Jared just smiled and said "Thanks Charlie, I'll make sure of it." then he looked at me and I said "I will i promis. God I'm so sorry.". Jared just laught alittle but noticed that it was painful so he stopped and Charlie said "That must have been some punch. Soon I want to work out with you again and see how far you've gotten and how strong you are." I just smiled and said "I'd love to but now we have to get this man home and lay him down on the sofa.". We said goodbye to Charlie and helped Jared into the car.

When we got home we helped him into the house and of course Tove came out from the kitchen when we walked by and asked what had happened. We told her and asked her to keep an eye on him so that Jensen and I could take a shower and freshen up a bit. When we had showered we both went downstairs and found Jared sleeping on the sofa and Tove said "I gave him one of your painkillers and then he fell asleep." I thanked her and sat down in the armchair next to the sofa and stroke his hair. I don't know how long I had been sitting there, looking at him and stroking his hair but then my phone rang and scared the hell out of me. I quickly walked out from the room so that i wouldn't wake Jared up and answed the cell. Nicky said "Hey honey, Where are you, thought you would be here by now." I felt really stupid that I had totally forgotten that i was suppose to be at Nickys and I said "I'm so sorry Nico, some stuff has happened, I'll tell you when I get to you. I'm on my way." he just said "Okay sounds good, see you soon.". Then I walked upstairs and knocked on Jensen and Toves room and peeked in. Jensen was watching tv and Tove was nowhere to be seen. Jensen turned his face to me and I said "Hi, can you look after Jared for a while? I'm going to nickys for a bit." he just smiled and nodded and turned the tv off and followed me downstairs. I thanked hima nd he said "Don't worry about it. have fun and give the lads my love." I gave him a hug and thanked him againa dn said that i would and then I walked out the door. It takes about 20 minutes to walk to Nickys place and during that time I got three phonecalls. First it was Jessica who asked if she could borrow a pair of errings from me which she could of course. Then it was Niklas who just wanted to talk for a bit and then all of the sudden I got a call from Dennis. He said "Hey. How are you. It's been awhile, I know you were suppose to call me when things weren't so crazy but it's been a long time now.". I smiled to myself for his sweetness and said "I'm sorry Dennis, things are still abit wierd but you know what... I would love to get together and do something someday. Btw aren't you at work?" he said "That sounds great! I would love to do something too. I kind of miss you Madde. Yeah i am but I said I was going to the bathroom so.". I laught and siad "Great then that's a date! I miss you to dennis. Awesome, I don't know what krisen will do if she finds out about us. She is going to freak and kill me." he just laught and siad "Great! probobly but she will kill me too.". We talked for a while longer but then I reashed Nickys driveway and said "Look, I have to go now but call me some day and we can set a date. Bye miss ya." he said "Okay, I will trust me. miss you too, bye." and then we hung up.

I knocked on nickys door but didn't realyl care for waiting for an answer so i just walked in and Shane was just about to open the door. He smiled and gave me a hug and said "Hey darling, good to see you. come on in." I smiled and hugged him abck and said "Hey Shay, it's good to see you too. thanks.". I followed him into the livingroom where kian and Nicky was playing Wii and apparently Kian won because nicky placed a hand fist into his arm and he started to rub it. I said "Nicky Byrne, you shouldn't hit people, they could end up in the hospital." nicky just turned to me, walked over and wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. When we broke from the hug he said "You are the one to talk, remember the dude you hit so that he did end up in the hospital.". i had totally frogotten about him and said "Oh right. Damn, all i do these days is hurt people physicaly and not just mentally.". Nicky said "It was just one guy, that is hardly everyone." I shook my head and told them what had happened with Jared when we were working out and shane said "There you go, it is dangerous to box with you!". Nicky just laught and said "Oh come on Shane, she is just a strong woman and you have to pay attention or you'll pay for it.". I just smiled and said "Yeah but I don't really want to hurt people." nicky said "maybe not but I'm sure Jared isn't blaming you.". I shook my head and said "No he isn't but I still feel guilty. Eh whatever, what are you guys playing?". kian just said "Golf... nothing realyl fun." I just smiled and then Nicky said "So how is life treating you now when you are broke and all?". I looked at him and said "Did you have to bring that up!? God, I can't do anything, I have nothing to live for anymore!". He looked at me and pretended to get hurt and he said "So i'm not something to live for?" I just hit his arm and said "Of course you are but I hardly have you do I? and now I have no money and because of that I don't have any gas in my car so I can't drive it.". He said "Sorry. But you don't really have anyone else to blame do you?" I couldn't believe what i heard so I said "nicky, you are suppose to hug me and comfort me and tell me that she sank to low to take my money away.". He just smiled and walked closer and held out his arms to me, I walked into them and pressed my body against his and he wrapped his arms around me and said "I can hold you but I won't say what you want to hear because what you did was wrong. But I love you and you know you can alwyas come here.". I breathed in his scent and said "Fine! I love you too, will you give me money for gas?" Nicky just started to laugh and said "No honey i won't, try and get the money back from kristina.". After that we just sat down on the sofas and talked for a few hours and then it was time for dinner so I had to go home. I kissed them all on the cheek and said goodbye and walked home.

After dinner I spent some time with Jared because I had promised him to look after him but after a while he got tired because he had taken another painkiller so I gave him a soft kiss and he fell asleep. I walked downstairs and found Tove and Jensen in the livingroom doing nothing so I asked if they wanted to watch a movie with me and since they didn't do anything they followed me to one of the movierooms. We put on a movie and we cuddled up closer together. Jensen was sitting inbetween me and Tove and Tove was resting her head on jensens shoulder and soon she fell asleep. All of the sudden there was a sexscen on the movie and I looked at jensen and he didn't take his eyes away from the tv but I just couldn't help myself so I put my hand on his thigh and moved it higher. He puched my hand away and looked at me like I was crazy and wipsered "No Madde, Tove is right here!" I just gave him a cheezy smile and said "Well the sit still so that she won't wake up and shut up." then I put my hand back on his thigh and moved it higher yet again. He wispered "No madde. I'll wake her up!" I smiled again and leaned closer and wispered in his ear "You don't want to do that now when she finally fell asleep, and I know you want this.". I lightly touched his neck with my nose and he shivered so I moved my hand higher and started to undo his jeans and put my hand in his boxers. I looked at his face and saw his mouth move so I leaned closer and heard him wisper to himslef "tree, grasshopper, milk, phone..." I shook my head and said "If you don't shut up jensen it'll be worse.". He stopped talking and I took a hold of his beast and gently caressed it. Jensen slowly started to breath more heavily and closed his eyes. His beast grew more and more inside my hand and got warmer and harder. Soon it was as hard as it could be so I moved my hand faster and harder and he breathed even faster and after a while he took his hand around my wrist but he didn't remove my hand he more made it stay where it was. After a few minutes ha began to breath irregularly and I knew he was close so I slowed down but moved my hand hard and then he moved his hand from my wrist and took a hold of my thigh. I have to say that i got a bit worked up to because of where he had his hand and because he was so hard and warm and ready to go... sorry, now I get all worked up again. Anyway after doing it slow and hard I began to move faster and faster and he sqeezed his eyes and breathed even faster and soon I felt his grip around my thigh tighten and all of him got all tence and then he came. I kept moving my hand while he came and he buried his nails in my thigh and he let out a moan under his breath. When I stopped and took my hand out of his boxer, that was all wet now because of all his spunk, and then he opened his eyes and I gave him a smile and he looked pretty satisfied. I walked to the bathroom to wash my hands and when I came back he said that he had to go to the bathroom and then he tried to lay Tove down as carefully as he could but she still woke up and asked where he was going. He just said the bathroom and hurried away, when he came back he had changed pants and boxers I bet. Of course Tove noticed the change of pants and asked why but he just said "It's more comfy in sweatpants." then we continued watching the movie. When it was over we all headed to our rooms so there is where I am now. But I will not end yet i have to write about my fight with krisen first...

Of course when she came home and found out about My and all that she was really really really angry. I honestly have never seen her that angry adn she yelled at me that i had to start to take responsibility and to start acting like an adult and not as a three year old. I just said "Well, she didn't die and I've told you all so many times that you shouldn't leave me with kids!". She just yelled at me and said "All i asked for was one night!! One single night!!! And she could have died, and icecream! Madde what the hell was you thinking?!" I yelled "Yeah well if you love your kids don't leave them with me because I hate taking care of kids!!! she wanted icecream so she got icecream! And for crying out load she can take care of herself she is 5!!". After that i thought Krisen was going to rip my lungs out and feed them to the dogs. And then she yelled at me to go to my room but I ran away to Nickys place insted andwhen he opend the door I just ran into his arms but he took my arm and dragged me back to the house! I can't believe him!! And you already know what happened then, Krisen took my money away and told me to take care of myself! I can't believe her! She took my money! I just cried my eyes out in nickys arms and the crazy woman tells me to sell my car!! I was like "WHAT!?" that is the one thing in all the world that i would never sell!! I'd rather sell myself and then she said that i don't have any money to buy gas which is even worse because then i can't drive my baby!! After that i just cried in nickys arms all day untill dinner. And Tove... I could fucking kill her!! You have no idea how close it was when she satrted to mess with me!! Talk about a strong move to just walk away because that is so against my nature that it's crazy! God, what do I have to do so that i can get my money back?!

Now I'm going to call nicky and complain and cry alittle. Night!
Take care
Love
Madde