I do?

Hello..
Well Madde is still at Niklas, and I have promised to not push her to come home, but I just wish she would came home soon.. I need her..

Well I can as well start telling you what you all want to do about yetserday and about my answer.
When Jesen came home yesterday after sleeping next to Madde we all sat at the table with our breakfasteds and it was a really bad atmosphere in there since almost everyone is angry with me for all this with Madde. Jensen walked into teh dining room and said goodmorning to everyone. Then he smiled walked towards me and strok my back with his hand and I looked up at him and he lead down and gave me a long kiss and then he took my hand and pulled me up from the chair and he sat down himself and then he pulled me back down into his lap and kissed my cheek and I smiled at him and said quietly " I have missed you " He smiled and said " I have missed you too baby " I kissed his head and lead my head aginst his shoulder. Then he asked how my night had been and I said " It have been sleepless night with alot thinking. " Jensen smiled and me and said " What have you been thinking about? " I kissed him and gave him a medningful look, then everyone was done with breakfast and I told them to bring there dishes into the kitchen and everyone did except Jerry. I asked what was wrong and he said angry " Why should I listen to you? When you don't listen to anyone, like Madde for example! It's your fauit that she left and you don't even seems to care!" I stood up and said " What?! I care, that's the worse thing ever, but what do you want me to do?! Lay in bed all day long crying?" Jerry said angry" Yes exactlly! You are so selfish! So if you just think about yourself why should I then help you with the dishes!! " I said angry " Because you where meeting some freinds tonight right? And if you don't help out then you are staying home!" Jerry yelled " Fine I'm staying home then!! I don't want to do anything for a bitch like you!" Then Jensen got angry and said " If you call her that one more time I will back sure you will eat it up! " Jerry said " I'm not scared of you!!" Then he just left the table and walked by me and Jensen and looked at me angry and said " Bitch!! " Then he walked towards the stairs,Jensen stood up on his way to walk after him, but I manage to take is hand and said firmly " Calm down! "Jensen just stopeped and looked at me angry and then he walked into the kitchen.

After a few minuts I walked into the kitceh n to and Jensen was in full speead to put everything in the dishwasher and My was helping him. I walked over to them and Jensen still looked irratated and I asked what I have done why he was angry with me and he sign and turned around to took at me and said " I'm not angry at you, sorry. It's just that I get furious when guys calles women that word and especially my woman, it's so wrong and respectless and the wosre thing is that women dosen't even care when they say it, you didn't care when Jerry said it. " I said " It's not that I don't care because I do, but it depends alittle who say it " Jensen said " You should always care even thought it's your brother" I said " Yeah well this time it was true, I have been a bitch lately " Then My said " What dose it mean? " Jensen picked her up and said " It's a bad word and if anyone ever calls you that don't except it and tell some one that can help you. " My nooded and said " Can't you come with me to the playground now? " Jensen smiled and said" Yes if your sister wants to come with us" He looked at me and My did too but she didn't look so happy since she isn't that fond of me right now and I said " Sure, but I need to talk to Jensen first. "

I walked upstairs and sat down on the bed and waited on him, after a few minuts he walk throw the door, he looked and me and said " is this the serious moment or the happiest in my life? " He sat down next to me on the bed side and I looked in to his eyes for a short while then I movied my hair with my hands so I could unhook the neckless that he had given me with a suprise inside. I held it in my hand and open it and looked at the letters where it stood " Marry me?" I read those words a few times, then I closed it and looked at Jensen for a while ane we didn't say anything for a few minuts then I held up the neckless towards him so he would take it and he graped it with his hand slowly. Then I said " Jensen... I'm so sorry.. I can't..but.. " Jensen interupted me and said with a sad voice " You don't need to expline, I understand" I sign and said " Are we okay?" He made his best attament to give me a smile, even thought it was that great becasue I could see that he was disappointed and hurt but he said " Of course we are, and like I have said I never give up so this was absolutly not my last attement. " I said " Yeah I know, but are you sure we are okay and that you are okay? Otherwise tell me so we can talk " He gave me a weak smile and then he said " I'm sure we are, we are more then okay. And you can't blame me for being a little sad when the woman in my dreams say no too me. " I said " No I can't. But you know I love you even without a ring on my finger " He said " I know I love you too, but I just wish you wanted to have a ring on your finger, and it would look so beatiful on you hand " I layed my arms around his neack and gave him a long hug. When we let go he laied the neckless back in my hand and said " It's yours I gave it to you, it's a gift " I said " I said no... I can't take it, it's your grandmas.. " He said " Just becasue you said no dosn't mean that I don't want to speand the rest of my life with you, so it yours, and you can't reture it. " I smiled and said " Thanks! Beacuse I really love it" Jensen smiled and took it out of my hand and got closer to me and movied my hair at the side and put it around my neck and then he followed the chain with his finger all the way to the charm and then he turned it around and looked at the backside at the text, then he said " it really lookes great at you " I smiled and then Jensen said " Can I ask you something without you getting angry? " I sign and said " Yes of course you can, what is it? " He took a deep breath and said " Was it you I heard throwing up yesterday morning? I thought you had stopped doing that? " I sign and said " yes it was... but in my defence I didn't put two fingers down my throat, this time I got sick without doing anything" Jensen said " Tove you don't have to defend yourself towards me I'm just worried. " I said " I know.. " Then he hugged me and My walked to the room and she told us that it was raining so we desided to go to the playground tomorrow instead which is today.

That was what happend yesterday, so let's talk about today.
After breakfast My was all over Jensen that we should go to the playground since she still dosn't talkm to me. So we got dressed and walked over there, and my ran away and started to play while me and Jensen sat down on a bench and started to talk. After a while I saw My play with her friend Saga and then I saw her mother walking towards us so she came and said hi and sat down next to me on the bench and all three of us started to talk, then I looked over on the walking road and saw Linus and a few guys and Linus looked like a reall mess. He had bruses every where and he must have been in a fight. I left Jensen and Sagas mum and walked over there. When he saw me he looked away and conutine walking, I grabed his arm and he looked at me an he looked teribble and then I sawall of the guys had a beercan in ther hand. The other guys laughted and started to hit on me and touch me and on of them said "Come home with me and you will get a ride you never forget" Linus just looked at him angry and another guy started to touch my ass, Then linus said angry " Leave her alone! " All of them stopped at looked at Linus and then they started to laught I told Linus to follow me so could talk to him, but he just said no and pulled out of my grip and started to walk away from me and then I said " If you don't come back her I will call the police and rapoort you for under age drinking! " Then he tunred around and walked back towards me. And I started to walk away from the guys and Linus walked after me. When we had walked away so tehy couldn't hear us I stopped and waitit on him and I looked at him and he gave me a smile and walked towads me. Then he asked how I was doing, and he was like another person the Linus that I love. I said it was okay and asked what had happend to him and he told me that he got into a fight with a guy,I asked what guy but he didn't asnwre so I asked agian and he sign and said " a dealer.. " I said " You are doing drugs again?! After what ahppend!" He didn't answer so I took that as a yes. Then teh guys started to yell at him that they needed to leave, so he said to me " I need to go you have no idea what those guys can do and it's not good. " I said " I call you tomorrow trust me! But I love you kiddo" He smiled and said " I love you too!" Then he walked back and I lookedat him and I have to say I'm worried...

I walked back to Jensen who was still talking to Sagas mum. He asked wher I had been and I told him that I would tell him later. Then Saga and My cam runnig towards us and Sagas mum told Saga thet thay had to leave because she needed to go to work. Saga looked really sad and said that she didn't want to leave she wanted to play with My. But her mum said they had to go, I feelt so sorry for her so I said " She can follow us home if it's okay for you? " Saga smiled and so did My and her mum said " If you are sure? Then it's okay with me. " I said " Yeah I have nothing to do anyway so. " My smiled and said " Saga and her mum said goodbye and they ran to play again.

After a while me and Jensen desided to go home so we told the kids and we started to walk home. On the way we walked by a kiosk and My wanted ice cream and so did Saga. I told them that I didn't have any money with me but Jensen told them he had, so My and Saga ran in and Jensen smiled at me and asked if I wanted something, but I just no. After a few minuts all three of the was eating a daim. Jensen took my hand and we started to walk, then he asked if I wanted to taste and I said no , but he laughted and said " Come on, I know you want too. " I smiled and said " Fine " I was just on my way to take a bite when he pressed it against my face so I had ice screm everywhere in my face.And he started to laught like crazy and I was just going to hit him hard on the arm but then he ran infron of me a few meters and I yelled " You are so death!!" My and saga was also laughing, and I took my hand tried to get the most of the ice scerm away. Then I asked Jensen if was gone and he walked clsoer to me and we stopped and he looked at me and said " Almost, you have alittle on you cute nose and on your upper lip, let me help" He gave me a kiss and when he let go it was gone and the he kissed my nose too. Then he smiled and was on his way kissing me again then I just poured our water bottle over him so he got soaking wet, then I laughted and so did the girls too. Then I said " You should know by now that if you mess with me I get back" Then he walked towards me and I started to run but he ran after and gave me a big hug, and when he let go he laughte and I said " Now I'm all wet too! Thanks " Jensen laughted and said " You know I liek it when you are all soaken wet" I laughted and said " i didn't mean it like that" Jensen laughted and said " I like both ways when you are wet, and especially now when you are wearing a white whirt" I laughted and said " Shut up! Think of the kids" Jensen just kaughted and gave me another hug and then a kiss.

When we came home we walked upstairs and change clothes, then I walked down stairs to start with dinner. Jensen came down after a while and sat down and looked at me, after a while I said " Set the table instead of looking at my ass" He walked over to me and gave em a hug from behind and put his hands on my stomach and laughted and said " I rather look at your ass " Then he grabed my ass and I said " I know, but I rather have you set the table" Jensen said " You are so boring" I laughted and turned around and kissed him. Then he did as I said and started to set the table.

After dinner Jensen did the dishes so I walked up stairs and picked up the phone and called Sara. And she answerd and we talked a little then I asked how it was with Zara and Sara sign and said " It's the same, she is just laying in her bed and
refuse to do anything or talk to me, and then she is normal to the kids... it's so
weird" I said " That's not good.. but how is it with you? " She said " It's okay I'm just furious at Nico and Madde. I just can't belive them! I was so close to call Nico today and yell at him, but then I got inturpted by Kim. I'm fucking going to kill him when I get home, I'm so angry I can't belive that him off people would do this to her, those two have always had a most better realtionship then me and Brian had and now this.. And they have always been so inlove and cute and now they.. I don't what they want to do to each other or what they are to each other anymore. I'm kind of worried.. I don't knwo if I veen wants Zara and Nico
to get back togheter, I mean she desrves so mcuh better, but if they do fix this and she wants him then of course I'm okay with it. " I said " No I can't belive this eiether I have always have been jealous at their realnship because it was amazing and then everything just got desroied. And I agree she desrves so much better.. " Sara said " Yeah I know.. "
then Sare ha dto go so we said goodbye.
I have to say it's so hard all this, because I have so much oppitions about this with Nico but I can never say it out load beacsue I don't want to fight with madde more and then we just conutine lying to each other.. So I don't know what to say and not to say it's so hard.

Well anyway now I have to go and see if Jensen wants to do something or not. I'm bored..
Well have a nice night! :)
And I really hope Madde will come home tomorrow.. but I doubt it..
You will her from her tomorrow.
Kisses
Tove