Hand in Hand with You.

Hey guys..

Today have the fureral been, but I think everyone feels relived that it's over and maybe thigs will started to get lighter now.. I hoep anyway..

Well let's start from the begining.
I woke up in Jensens small bed next to the most amazing man in this whole world. We woke up from the alarm on the phone that we sat yesterday so we would have time to get ready for the funeral, or to be excat so I would have time to get ready.
I turned the alarm off and Jensen yawn and looked at me and then he smiled and his finger tips stroke over my cheek and he said " Good morning my sunshine. " I smiled and said " Good morning" We liedtehre for a while with his finger tips strokeing my cheek up and down and made small circles on my cheek. Then I said " So.. how do you feel about this day? " He sign and said " I don't know.. I still don't want to go to the funeral..it's to hard " I said " Can't you just get dressed and see from there if you are going or not and see how it feels? " He sign and said " Yeah I can do that, I think.. then you will just force me to go..right? " I looked into his amazing eyes and said " I would NEVER force you into anything not even this, I promise. I will be there for you no matter what you deisde, if you are going I will come with you and if you are staying here I will also stay here. But I won't force you, this is your destion and I'm just trying to be here for you honey" His hand moved from my cheek to the back of my head and he said " I'm sorry for thinking that, and I'm so happy that I have you here by my side" Then he pulled my head closer to his and I looked into his eyes and he movied his head closer to mine and his lips opend up a little and I smiled and let my lips slide apart and he pressed his amazing soft lips againt mine and gave me a kiss. When our lips let go of ecah other I licked my lips to feel his taste inside of my mouth. I looked at him and said " Don't you miss living here? I mean near your family? " He said " Yeah I miss them, but I mean when I say that I love you more then anything in this whole world and that's mean that I'm happy aslong as I'm with you and I don't care if it is here, or in sweden or anywhere else in this world just aslong you are there next to me. " I smiled and then I said " Yeah but your family is so importent to you.. " He said " Yeah you are, you are my family, and your family and of cousre my family, so I'm acutally liveing with my family in someway. And I know how much they mean for you and I would never make you move if you didn't want to. " I said " You are so sweeit. I don't want to move right now not out of the countrie anyway, I'm not really especially since I'm pregnate and not in this up coming years either.. sorry " He stroke my cheek again and said " Don't be sorry I understand and i have nothing againt living in sweden. " I smiled and said " I'm so glad to hear that, but I thought this summer maybe we should speand here with your family since then Dennie will be born if you want too? " He smiled and said " Are you sure? " I gave him a kiss and said " Yeah I'm sure, it's just a summer and I love your family " He smiled and said " Our family you mean, and that makes me so happy " I smiled and said " yeah our family. I can't belive we will be parents this summer, that feels so weird" Jensen smiled and said " I know, but it's a weird thought but a good one too. " I smiled and said " Yeah you are proabaly right. " It was almost like Dennie understood what I said because after I had said that I feelt how she stareted to move inside of me, and I took Jensen hadn from my cheek and put it on my belly instead and lied my hand on top and he smiled and said " Everything will be okay." I smiled and said " I hope you are right. " he gave me a kiss and he said " Are you worried about the delivery? " I said " Not right now.. but I probably will be so nervious." He said " Then tell me, okay? " I nooded and said " Okay. I haven't told you that Madde was so cute that she offerd to be with me that day if I wanted too, and I told her that I really wanted her there but I wanted her to think about for real before she desided and I wouldn't get disappointe dor sad if she desided not too, since I know it won't be that great.. " Jensen said " No you didn't tell me that, but have she told you what she desided? " I said " No she haven't but it's 5 month left so she have time. " Jensen smiled and said " Yeah that's right. " I laughed and said " Let's hope that our baby will have every kind and good gen from you" Jensen laughed and said " You are not that bad honey" I said " Yeah well ask my mother how I was when I was like 1 or 2 or maybe all those first years intill I became the geek I'm now " Jensen laughed and said " Maybe I just have to ask her, but honey you are not a geek " I laughed and said " Sometimes I'm but not as I was when I was like 13 or soemthing. " Jensen laughed and said " I wish I had knowed you back then you must have been so adorble, you and your books" I laughed and said " No I was so not adorble! And then not much have chaged since it still is me andmy books " Jensen laughed and said " Yes of course you was, super cute! Well on ething have change. " I said " Ask Madde or mum or anyone I wasn't! What do you mean? " Jensen smiled and said " When we get home I want to see pictures of you from that time. I mean back then it was just you and the books and now it's you and me and your books " I smiled and said " That will never happend, I have hidden every photo album of me from that time that's why you ahe never seen a pitcture of be from back then . And you are right one thing have chaged to the better " He smiled and said " I will find them if it i sthe last thing I do. good " I said " No your not!" He laughed and said " Watch me!" I just stared at him and then he said " but in your geek days was read teh only thing you did all day? " I smiled and said " yeah kind of.. went to school, got home did my home work, read a book, took a horseback riding, eat, read again, sleep and then everything started all over again and I hang out with Madde to a little when she wan't busy haveings ex with every guy in the world " Jensen laughed and said " You where reading and she was having sex? So funny!" I laughed and said " Yeah something like that, intill I meét Tim anyway.. " Jensen said " How old was you then? " I sign and said " 14.. " Jensen said " Did you had sex with him back then? " I sign and said " Unfortuntly I had.. "He said " Was he your first? " I siad " Yeah he was.. unfortentuly " Jensen laughed and said " Was he bad? " I nooded and said " Oh yeah!! But it was his first time to so we can't blame him " Jensen laughed and then he said " So.. how old was you? " I laughed and said " Why do you want to know that? " Jensen said " Becuse it's intresting. how old was you? 14? 18? 20? tell me " I laughed and said " 15, almost 16. " Jensen said " You where togehter with him for like 2 years before you guys had sex? patience guy I have to say to keep away from this sexy body " I smiled and said " for one and a half year we waited even though he wanted to have sex with me after like a month or two but I said no. " Jensen said " Like I said patiencet guy, I would never been abel to just kiss you and cuddle you for almost two years and nothing more " I laughed and said " That's because you are a horndog Mr. Ackles" He laughed and said " That's just because you looks like that, and don't come here and say that you are not!" I laughed and said " I never said I wasn't, so Mr. Ackles how old was you?" He laughed and said " I knew you would ask that, I was 14 " I laughed and said " Of course you asked me, so when you had your debut in sex.. I was 8 that is kind of weird " He laughed and said " Yeah that is kind of weird. " I laughed and said " So who was she? " He laughed and said " My girlfriend back then" I said " So was she good? " Jensen laughed and said " Not at all! She thought it was gross touching me down, but she tried but she just thought it was disgusting. " I laughed and said " How can that be disgusting? Did she do it with her month or..?" Jensen shooked hís head and said " No her hands or she tried but it didn't go that well so I did all the work to get it up myself. " I laughed and said " Okay.. it's a turne on too see the guy you love to get all worked up by just touching him youself. " He smiled and said " Good that you feel like that. " I smiled and said " Yeah and pluse I get your tonuge down there which is even better. " Jensen laughed and gave me a kiss and I looked at the clock and relized if I was even going to be close to be ready in time I had to start now. So I gave Jensen a last kiss and took my things and walked into the bathroom and took a shower.

When I was done with that I just put on Jensens shirt that was smelling so amazing and walked out to breakfast. Jensen smiled when he saw me and I smiled back and he pulled me down in his lap when I was next him and started to kiss me, and when our lips partet everyone was looking at us smiling and I gave Jensen s fast kiss and got up and sat down on a chair next to him. He looked at me and smiled and said " You look amazing in my shirt. " I smiled and gave him a kiss on his cheek and we started to eat. I eat my watermelon since that the only thing that I don't feel sick of almost anyway. When we had eaten I told them that I had to go and get ready if they wanted me on time they laughed and Michelle said " That's funny, it's like 3 hours before we have to leave. " Jensen looked at her and said " She is serious, she will needs those hours and more proably, she is a little slow " I said " Yeah that's true. " Joshua looked at me and said " Damn woman what do you do in those hours? " I laughed and said " I have no idea" Then I walked back into Jensens room and stared to do a freanch manicure on my nails and when I was done with that after like 45 minuts, I started to do my make up, when I was done with that I painted my toe nails too since I had was going to wear a pair of blach pumps with opend toe. When that was dry Jensen walked into the room and asked how I was doing and I just said that I didn't really have time to talk and he laughed and took his clohes and walked out of there.
Then I strated to my hair, I put it in a low ponytail on the side and made a big curl or spin in the hair and lied the tail rest over my right shoulder on teh front, and on my head it was kind of austere and I had my bang haning on the side also austere. Then I put on my black dress with out any cleavage at all and was perfect on a funreal because it was still gourguse and modern but not in a sexy way, and I put on my really high heels too and looked at my self in the mirror and my hair looked so red in this light especially against the black dress but it looked okay. Then I put on teh braclet Linus gave me because I really love it and then I put on my engagetment ring again that I had take on when I was doing my nails so I would do anything stupid like pour nails polish over it or something. Then last of all I opend my bag and pickedup the charm necklass that Jensen had propose to me with for a while ago and I had said no, but he had resived that neckless from his grandma for 5 years ago to give to someone special that he loved and I wanted to wear it on her funeral even though I had it inside of my dress so I did't show because it didn't really match my dress but I still wanted to wear it.

When I was done I opend the door and walked out to the hallway where everyone was waiting on me and Jensen smiled and said " You look so amazing!" I smiled and said " Thank you, and you look so handsome in your black suit" He smiled and then simon walked into teh halway and he was so cute in his suit and tie and he looked at me and smiled and said " Oh damn woman you look so sexy!" Everyone was just staring at him and all of us stared to laugh and I walked over to him and squat down infront of him and laughed and said " I'm like a hundred years older then you!" Simon laughed and said " I didn't know you where that old. " I laughed and said " Yeah I'm almost anyway.. and I'm not suppose to look sexy because it's a funeral. " He smiled and said " Fine. But you are so beautiful almost like it will kill me too look at you " I laughed and grabbed his shoulder and pulled him closer to me and gave him a kiss on his cheek and said " Thank you sweeit and you look so handsome. " He smiled and took his hand and dried his cheek where I had kiss him and I laughed and said " Are you taking away my kiss? " He laughed and said " Yeah it was wet from your lipstick or something" I pulled him closer again and kiss his cheek like ten times and he laughed and when I let go of his shoulders he smiled and throw his arms around my neck and gave me a hug and I smiled and hugged him back and he gave me a kiss on my cheek and I smiled and Jensen laughed and said " Simon, man, don't steal my woman from me now." Simon let go of me and looked at Jensen and smiled and said " I don't think any many in this world can steal her away from you, because I can see how much she loves you when she lookes at you, but you are luck because she is so beautiful and amazing " Jensen looked at me and smiled and then at Simon and said " I'm know I'm lucky" Simon smiled and said " But you are also an amazing person so you are perfect for each other. " Every looked at him with a smling face and he is just so cute!! I strok Simons cheek and then I stood up agian and Simon looked at me and said " Now you are really tall in those shoes I feel like a midget next to you " I laughed and so did everyone else. Jensen pulled me closer to him and gave me a kiss and he looked so handsome!

Then we walked out to the limousine that would take u sto teh funeral. I sat down next to Jensen and took his hand and whipserd into his ear " Are you ready to do this? " He whipserd back " No, but I have no chose I have to do it " I kissed his cheek and stroke his hand. When we got there we got out of the limousine and walked over to a beautiful place where the funeral was going to be. It was going to be a outside funreal and then see how the coffiin will be put in the groved with we never do in sweden anymore. Everyone was sitting down and we walked to teh front row and sat down. The beautiful coffiien was standing in teh front next to the priest. The funreal started with some really beautiful music and someone was singing and I looked at Jensen who was siting on my left side in teh corner of my eye and I could she how hard he was fighting to keep his tears back. When teh song was over the priest stared to talk about Drew and personle things and you know how priset do. Donna who was sitting on my otherside was crying really much, I took her hand and stroke it for a few minuts then I lied it down again she looked at me and tried to give me a little smile and I strok her cheek fast. Then they plaied anothe beautiful song and I looked at Jensen and now he couldn't keep it together anymore it was like a waterfall poured down his face and he started to sob too, I feel so so sorry for him.. his hand was lying on his right knee with his pawn up and I lied my hand in his and garbbed it so he knew I was there for him. I could feel that tears was starting to built up fare away in my eyes too, ´but I was a pretty long way from cry which I was happy for since I hate cry as yuo all know especillay around people. When it was time to put her in the groued everyone got up and walked like a train towars the place, I was holding Jensens hand all the way. When they was going to toss the coffiin down we was all going to lie our red rose on teh coffii if we wnated and say something. Adrew started and he bend down and said something quit and I feelt so bad for him becausé he was so helpless and sad.. then it was Donnas turn and she also bend down, and then Alan, then Joshua, Michelle, Simon and then Jensen he let go of my hand and walked over there and lied his rose on the coffiien and whiperd something and touch the coffiin with his hand and then he got up tears was pouring down his cheek. I stroke his cheek fast and then it was my turen I squat down and carefully lied teh rose on the coffien and said quit that I had been and honour to get to known her because she seemed like a wonderful woman , and I thanked her for that beautiful neckless and for alwaye beeing there for Jensen and I promised her to take care of her grand son and her grand grand daughter and at last I told her that I loved her even though I didn't know her that well but that time we meet was something special between us and that she was right about what she had told Donna that day. Dennie was kicking and moving all the time when I was saying that I think she feelt that I was sad and worried or something, s I put my own hand on my belly and looked at the coffiin a last time and a tear rolled down my cheek and I got up and walked over to Jensen and he took my hand and I dried my tear away with my hand and then it was mackenzies turen and then Willam and then all the others there. When everyone had lied there rose the priest started to talk and when he said " Ashes to ashes dust to dust.. " And so on that another tear rolled down my cheek that I quikly dried away and then they stared to lower the coffiin down and it was so sad. everyone just stood there looking. But then all teh sudden Jensen let go of my hand and tured around and walked away from there really fast, I looked at Donna with a glar elike it was okay that I walked after him and she nooded and I walked teh same way he had done. But I couldn't find him and I walked pretty far away from allthe people I couldn't even see them longer, so I said camly " Jensen where are you? " I didn't get an answer and so I walked a little farther away and it was so quit since it was in a cemetery. But then I heard someone sob behind a big grave headstone, so I walked around it and I found Jensen sitting in the grass reasting his back against the head stode and he was crying or he was fighting his tears back. When he saw me trie dto fight them back even more and he looked at me and I sat down infront of him on my knees and took his head between my hands and looked into his eyes and then he could fight back his tears anymore they where rolling down from his eyes. I thrwo my arms around his neck and hugged him and he hugged me back adn he was crying his eyes heart out on my shoulder and I just sat there holdig him and a couple of tears got out from my eyes too and I whisperd too him " Just let it out" He countinue drying and after 20 minuts he had calmed down a little and then Jensen phone ran and it stood that it was Alan so Jensen gave me the phone because he didn't want to answer, so I said hello and Alan said " We are going home now for the reception.. are you gusy coming? " I looked at Jensen and said " No I think we will stay here for a while, you guys go" He said " okay.. tell Jensen I'm hear if he want's something. " I promised him I would and we said good bye and hang up. I looked at Jensen and took his hand and said " Alan said that he was there if you needed something " Jensen nooded and said " All i need right now is you here with me. " I smiled a soft smile and strok his cheek with my hand and when we had been sitting there for a while Jensen said " Should we take a walked home? " I nooded and got up and so did he and took my hand and we stared to walk, after 15 minuts of silence Jensen looked at me and smiled and said " Just let it out? What the hell was that, I mean it's not excatlly comeing from teh right person " I laughed and said " I know, but what was I going to say?" He smiled and said " I don't know" I laughed and said " Excatlly. " He laughed and stopped walking and pulled meinto his arms and hugged me and gave me a kiss on my forhead and then he took my hand again and we countinued walking.

When we got back to the house everyone from teh funeral was there talking, drinking coffee and laughing a little and talking about drew. When they saw me and Jensen everyone walked over and talked to Jensen and told them how sorry they where for his loss and then they introduce themself to me and talked a little. And I could see how hard this was for him to be here and talk to all this people I think he just wanted to be alone, but I held his right hand in my left hand all day long and we never let go, where Jensen was I was. Okay we let go maybe onec because I need to go to the bathroom, I looked at Jensen and said that I would be right back and he grabbed my arm and hugged me and whisperd " Don't leave me here. " I whipserd back " Okay, I promise, but I really need to pee. " He laughed a little and took my hand again and we snecked into the bathroom and locked the door, I pulled down my pantis and sat down on teh toilet and it didn't happend that much, Jensen laughed a little and asked how it was going, I laughed and said " It is a little hard with an audience" He laughed and said " You are ridiculous" I said " It's not that easy, you try then!" He laughed and said " I had you peeing for me for 3 weeks and I didn't have no problem with that. " I said " Yeah right.. turen around otherwise I will never be done " He laughed and turned around and said " You and Madde always go to the bathroom together when we our out parting. " I said "Yeah well then I'm drunk " He said " Not always.. " I laughed and said " Well it's just diffrent you wouldn't understand because you are a guy. " He laughed and when I was done I washed my hands and he pulled me into his arms and looked at me and whisperd " Can't we get out of here I don't want to be here? " I said " If you want to,then of course we can. " He said " Wel they will be gone in about an hour so we can come back then. I just want to be alone. " I said "Are you sure that you want's me to come with you then? " He smiled and said " Yeah I want to be alone with you... and Dennie " I smiled and gave him a kiss then I took his hand again and we walked out of there and meet Donna in the hallway and she tried to give Jensen a hug but he just shooked his head and said " Then I will just cry again.. I'm sorry " She said " It dosn't matter.. I need a hug " Jensen said " I'm sorry .. I can't, but I love you mum" She said " I love you too honey. " She looked at me and she looked so weak and sad so I lied my arm around her and gave her a hug and I could hear how she was sobing again and when I let go she dried her tears away and I stroke her cheek. I bend down a little to fix something with my shoe nd wehen I got up the charmneckless was haning outside my dress, and Donna took the locket in her hand and smiled and said " I'm glad that Jensen gave this to you and I know mum was too, and you look so beautiful in it. " I smiled and kissed her cheek and said " Thank you. If you ever want talk or cry or just sit and stare into the wall and you wan companie, then I'm there. " She smiled and said " Thank you honey " I smiled and said " And once again I'm so sorry for your loss, and I love you so mcuh Donna" She smiled and said " Thank you sweeit, and I love you too like my own daughter. " I smiled and gaveher another hug and then she walked into the kitchen and me and Jensen snecked throw the frontdoor out in the wonderful warm weather. We walked around and sat down in a empty park on a bench. Jensen put his right arm around my shoulders and I took his eft hand in mine and we just sat there then we heard sobs behindus so we tured her heads around and so Simon there, and he was so sad. Jensen got up and gave him a hug and then he walked back to me and lied his arm around my shoulder and Simon just stood there so I heled out my arm and said " Come here honey " He ran over to me crying and he was reasting his head on my cheastand he was crying and I had my arm hard around him and I stroke his hair and I feelt so bad for him, Jensen took away his arm from my shoulder and stroke Simons back. When he had stopped crying and was just sobing Jensen put his arm around my shoulders again and gave me a kiss on my cheek and I just sat there holding Simon and Jensens hand and it was kind of cozy. Then I said " Do you mum and dad know that you are here? " Simon shooked his head and Jensen pickedup his phone and called Joshua and told him that he was with us. We sat there for like one and a half hour and then we desided to go home, Jensen was holing my left hand and Simon my right hand, we didn't say that much we just walked home.

When we got home everyone had left and it was just the family there, we sat down next to them in the livingroom and it was dinner time but no one was really hungery, we talked and laughed a little and it was acutally a great time. ´Then Donna and Alan was going out on a walk, mackenzie, will and Michelle desided to go with them and me, Joshua, Jensen and Simon stayed at the house. They left and I walked away and chanced cloes and then we sat down in the kitchen and Jensen and joshua took a beer and we stareted to talk. And then Simon walked into the kitchen and walked over to me and said " Tove can't you watch a movie with me, please? " I smiled and said " I would love to " He smiled and took my hand and Joshua said " You don't have to " I smiled and said " I know, but I want too and then you guys can have some brother time and talk " Joshua smiled and said " Yeah, and talk about what? " I laughed and said " Me maybe.. how much you dislike me and how you want Jensen to break up with me " He laughed and said " Good idea excatlly what we are going to talk about . " I laughed and followed Simon to the livingroom and I asked what he wanted too see and he looked at the movies and then he desided to see Alvin and the Chipmunks, and we put n teh movie and sat down in the sofa and started to watch the movie and Simon was cuddling closer to me I smiled and put my arm around him and we had a really good time. After like 45 minuts into the movie Jensen and Josua arrived in the doorway and they looked at us and smiled and Jensen said " You two are so cute " I smiled and Jensen smiled and sat down next to me and kissed my cheek and Joshua sat down next to Simon and said " You like Tove huh? " He smiled and said " Yeah she is the best! " I got all warm inside when he said that and I smiled and took a grip of his chin and gently pulled it up and kissed his forhead and he smiled and then he watcheddthe movie again and Jensen smiled and said " Yeah she is the best" I smiled and said " So Josh haven't convinced you to break up with me yet " Josh said " Yes I have, he will do it tonight when you are alone or he will just send you a text message and do it later. " I laughed and Simon looked at Jensen and said " You are kidding right? You are not going to break up with Tove right? " Jensen smiled and said " No I would never do that.. again" Simon smiled and said " good " Then he lied his head down on my shoulder again and countinie watching the movie and I smiled and said " So what did you two stronge men talk about then? " Joshua laughed and said " You of course like you said " I laughed and looked at Josh and said " So what wecknesses do I have then that you don't like? " He smiled and said " Well i didn't really found any, and I said that I'm happy that you are with my brother and that you make him so happy and I know he is happy,a nd you are really a amzing person in so many ways so I'm so happy for you guys. It will be an houner to have you in this family " I smiled and sat up and moved Simon a little and gave Josh a hug and said thanks then Simon lied on my shoulder again. Josh walke dinto the kitchen and came back after a while with a bowl with popcorn. Simon sat up and stareted to eat and so did we all, and of course I succed to drop a popcorn inside of my top between my boobs , Jensen laughed and of course his hand wander down between my boobs and the popcorn had fallen inside my bra and he had no problem go in there even though Josh and Simon was there ane he took it out and put it in his month and eat it. I looked at him and laughed and shooked my head and Jensen smiled and said " What? That was the best popcorn I ever have eaten " I laughed sticked my toungue out at him and he laughed and so did Simon and Joshua. When the movie was over Joshua said to Simon that he ha dto go and do his homework since he didn't ahve to go to schoole tomorro wor on wensday and that eh was going to help him and then he had to go to bed. Simon said " I want Tove to help me" Joshua said " I think Tove and Jensen wants to be togehter and talk. " I looked at Jensen and he smiled and I said " I can help you if you like simon and if it's okat with your dad " Joshua said " Go a head " I laughed and Simon stood up and said " Are you good in math? " I smiled and said " I was really good when I went to school.. so let's just hope I'm still am. " He smiled and grabbed my hand and we walked into the kitchen and and sat down and stared to do his homework and it acutally went pretty good he is a smart kid. When we was done and I had looked throw it we walked into teh livingroom again wher ethe guys was drinking another beer and Joshua said " No it's time for bed" Simon sign and said " fine.. " He walked into the bedroom and came out with his pyjamas on and he looked so cute. Then he gave Joshua a hug and said good night and then Jensen a hug and a high five and he walked over to me and gave me a hug and smiled and said " Good night sexy!" I laughed and said " Still hunderd years older!" He laughed and said " I know but you are sexy " I laughed and so did everyone else, then he gave me a kiss on the cheek and said " I love you Tove!" That just made me so happy and I got all warm and a tear rolled down my cheek and I smiled and said " I love you too kiddo so much" Then he let go of me and said " Why are you crying? " I laughed and said " I'm just moved that you said that you loved me, it's juat a pregnate thing. " Simon smiled and said " Girls are weird!" Jensen laughed and said " Yeah they are really weird especially her " I hit Jensen arm and said " Thanks honey.. " he laughed and said " But in a good way " I smiled and kissed him and Simon said good night and went to bed. And I sai dto Joshua " He really is adoreble, you must be really prouved of him " He smiled and said " yeah he is great " I smiled and the rest of the family walked throw the door and sat down with us and we talked and laughed and had a great time.

Then it stared to get late and everyone went to bed and me and Jensen walked into our bedroom and got undressed and lied down in the bed. Jensen took my head and held it in his and I looked at him and he was smiling and said " You ahve apprently made a huge impression on my family because everyone really seems to adore you, but I'm not suprised. " I smiled and said " Well they are really amazing people and I love them. I just wish I had to got the chance to know drew. But she is proablt watching over as all know " He smiled and said " I'm glad you do. And she proably is.And you and Simon have got relaly close. " I smiled and said " Yeah he is a great kid and I will really miss him " Jensen smiled and gave me a kiss and then he looked me into my eyes and then he got on to of me and his eyes was still looking into mine and he started to kiss me with eager and his hand got inside of my top and stroke my stomach and I stopped kissing him and said " Do you want to do this? After everything that ahav happend? I don't want to pressure you, I'm okay I don't need it " He smiled and said " Yes I want this, I love you so damn much and I just want to be with you and become one with you right now. " I smiled and said " I love you too. " He smiled and started to kiss me and then he stopped and said " Let's hope grandma is not looking now " I laughed and staretd to touch his bare back and Jensen stared to kiss my neck and I moan quilty and Jensen stopped and said " We have to be really quit because this house dosn't really have good sound-proof walls.." I laughed and said quit "Then you just have to be really bad in bed " he laughed and said " I will do my best " I laughed and said " Just kidding don't be bad be amazing like always and I will just ahve to try to control myself. " He laughed and countinied kissing my neck while his hand was carness my boob and he plaied with my nipple and I moan and strok his back all teh way down to his ass and took a grip on in and then I let my hands slide inside of his boxers and I touched his sexy ass and then I stroke his back again and he rolled us arounad and I sat astradde over him and I pulled my to p of over my head and throw it on the floor and he put his hands on hips and I strok his cheast and abs with my hand and I smiled and so did he and I lied down on him and pressed my lips against his and his tonuge was playing with mine which made me all warm down there and his hands strok my bare back and then my ass and them y back again and I stareted to kiss his neck and my hand ran over his hair and and he started to breath a little more shallow and I kiss his lips agian and his hand started to carness my boob again and then he stroke my neck and stroke my hair and I countinued kissing his neck and my boobs and body pressed against his and I kissed his cheast and then his abs and I stroke his sexy musclery arm with my hand and then I pulled down in his boxers and throw them on the floor and I touched his beast with my index finger a little and just for that it started to grow a little I smiled and grabbed his dick in my hand and started to slowly move it inside of my hand and I could feel how it grewed and become harder and stiffer and then I looked at him and smiled and so did he and I put it in my mouth and started to move and he staredt to breath faster and I could feel how it got even stiffer and bigger between my lips and my hand touched his abs and his hand ran throw my hair and I moved it faster in my mouth and he moan more and more and I took it out and I smiled and kissed his abs, cheast, neck and lips and I pressed my thigh against his beast and he moan and kissed me with even more eager and then he rolled us around so he got on top. He kissed my neck and I breath faster and more shallow and he kissed me aroud my boob and stared to kiss my boob and my nipple and it was so good and he started to lick my nipple and it got really stiff and I moan and he chanced boob and started to lick that nipple to while his hands was slowly moving over my stomach and inside of my panties and stareted to carness me and I started to moan and I al reday trie dto do my best to not be so load and he kissed my stomach and then he pullde down my panties and pressed a few fingers inside of me and he started to move and I started to moan loader and he moved faster and faster and his hand staret to carness my boob and when I was pretty wet he started to use his tounge on me and I just wanted to screm as load as I could of pleasure, and I moan and buried my nails into the pillow and bit myself in my lower lip so I wouldn't scream and I moan and said " Oh my God this is good! " It was so amazing to feel his tounge down there and feel how he moved just liek I LOVE!! When I was wet enough he stopped and stroke the inside of my thigh with his hand and up on my stomach and started to kiss me and I stopped kissing him and moan " I want you inside of me now!!" He smiled and and slowly pressed his beast inside of me and I moan loader then I should have done I think and Jensen looked at me and started to move slowly but hard and deep and I started to breath faster and even more shallow and he smiled and gave me a kiss and I stroke his back and ass and it was sooooo GOOD to feel him inside of me and I never wanted it to stop but at the same time I wanted to come and I moan and said " Faster!! " He smiled and did as I said and it was so good!! I put one hand over my mouth so I would moan and scream, and Jensen started to go even fater and I moan even more and even loader and Jensen carness my boob and especially my nipple that made me even more worked up and I stroke his back and his arms and I could feel how close I was and I knew Jensen could see that too she he moved even faster and harder I just wanted to screm of pleaser and I breath really fast and heavy and I was so close and I buried my nails into his back and pressed my lips agianst his under arm and scremed in there so it would lower the sound even though I still think it was to load and I moan and came and it was SOOOOOOOO AMAZING!!! Jensen smiled and I took my lips from his arms and he countnued to move and I stroke his cheast and plaied with his nipple and touched his arm and ass and he lead down to kiss me and I stroke his neck and he started to moan more and more and I could feel how his beast grewed even more inside of me and he started to breath faster and heavier and his whole body staretd to get stiff and he movied harder and faster and then he moan load even though he triid to keep the noise down and he came inside of me and I smiled and so did he and he took a deep breath and pulled it out of me and lied down next to me and put my head on his sweaty cheast and he smiled and kissed my hair and I stroek his wet chest and I said " That was amazing! " I looked up on him and he smiled and said " Oh yeah! but it was hard to be quit " I laughed and said " You have no idea how badly I just wanted to scream " He smiled and said " So it was good then. " I smiled and said " Like I said it was amazing!!! " he smiled and we lied there cuddling and he played with my hair and I touched his cheast and he said " It feels weird to be lying here after sex, it was like ages ago I had sex in this bed " I laughed and said " So how was best me or those other girls? " He smiled and said " You of course , you are the best like Simon said and I mean in every way" I smiled and said " Good " I pressed my lips agianst his cheast and we just lyied there.
Then I picked up teh comture to blogg and here I'm.

But I think we are going to try to get some sleep after a hard day like this, so good night people and you will hear from Madde tomorrow that I miss so much that it hurts!! I just want to feel her arms around me and breath in her smell and just hear her amazing voice and see her smile and everything! I really miss everything about her even the bad things!! Honey I love you so much!! And I will see you soon!!
Well like I said good night sleep well!
kisses
Tove