Sad Goodbyes and Happy Reunions.

Hey guys!

Now me and my loved one is actally home again here in sweden which feels great even though I miss Jensens family so much!! Well we are pretty tired and jetlag from the long flight.. but let's take it from teh begining.

When I got up yesterda morning Jensen was still a sleep so I got dressed and walked into the livingroom because I heard voices from there and I found Simon and Michelle there and when Simon saw me he smiled and ran over to me and gaved me a hug and then he countinued playing with his cars. I sat down in the sofa next to Michelle and I smiled and said " He really is an amazing kid with so much enagry " She smiled and said " Yeah e really is especillay after everything that have happend last year.. " I looked at her and said " If you don't mind me asking, what have happend? " She said " Haven't Jensen told you? " I shooked my head and she said " Well when Simon was six we discoverd that he had leukaemia.. he was going to just do a ordinary cheak up and then teh doctore took some tests that was going to change our lifes, it was areally hard time for all of us.. and you know kids in Simon ages can be really mean so they started to call him nicknames when he came back from teh hospital because he didn't had any hair and all that.. and Simon had a pretty rufe time even though he dosn't like talking about it.. " Tears slowly rolled down my face and I said " I can just imadgen how hard this must be to see your own kid sick like that.. but I think I have a pretty good idea how Simon feelt and feel.. when I was 7 I also got diagnosed with leukaemia and I probably went thrwo the same thing as Simon. But I was to chicken to go to school without my wig because I knew people was going to look at me which they did anyway since I had been gone from school for so long, but I was lucky to have a best friend that helped me throw every school day otherwsie I would never had made it.. but I got heatly and everytng was great even though I always was scared to get it back.. and this year I got a new diagnose where my doctor told me that I had cancer again.. liver cancer, then I just wantet to give up and die, because it feelt like I wasn't stronge enough. But when I so how my family react and how said and worried they where I just relized that I had to try fight this even though it was going to be hard, because this time I knew how hard it was going to be last time I was so young and I did barely understand what was going on in my body and I was so scared and I didn't really have anyone to talk to how fully understand, which I didn't really have now either but now I was older and I was suppose to understand everything, but I could understand why this had happend to me again and what I had done to deserve this agian and I still think it's hard to get into my head that this wasn't anyones fauilt it just happends.. and I realized then wehn I was younger I just wanted someone to tell me that this sickness wasn't my fauilt that I hadn't caused it which was hard to understand then and I didn't get then intill this summer when everything was over.. " Michelle said " I'm so sorry, Joshua told me that you had have a hard year but I had no idea that you had been throw the same things as Simon.. " I looked at Simon and he had stoped playing and i could see that he was listing to us and Michelle walked over to him and said " Simon what happend was not your fauilt, it was not mine, or dad or anyone elses it just happend. " Simon looked at her and gave her a hug and then he walked towards me and said " You have had cancer? " nooded and said " yeah twice, and don't care what your friends told you, what you ahve been throw is a hard and long journy that they don't know that much about.. so that is probaly why they think it's easier to make you feel alone and sad insted of realized what have hapepnd to you. You are a stronge and brave guy and I'm amazed from meeting you and you are amazing!" He gave me a hug and then he said " but yuo have your hair" I said " No I don't this is just a wig. " Simon looked at my "hair" and then he grabbed the wig and pulled it off and he looked at me with big eyes and his hand slowly moved towards my head and then he stroke my head and he said " Do you always wear you wig? " I said " Yeah.. I hate beeing without it because if I do then people stared to treath you diffrents right the way and I hate that. " Simon said " I know.. they got's all soft and you can see all teh worrying eyes and sad eyes and people who want's to take care of you like you can't do anything yourself and so on. " I said " Excatlly.. and that is why I wear the wig all then time. " Simon said " I understand. " I smiled and took his hand and said " I know you do, even though people try to understand it's not the same.. " Simon said " Yeah when I was at the hospital they gave me a green teddy bear and told me to talk to it and tell me my fears and so on, but I didn't like that I wanted a perosn to talk to that understood me for real not a bear.. so I hated that bear from day one and I always belived that it gave me bad luck. " I said " I know, I also got a bear at the hospitle that I also hated and that I told mum to throw away, which I thoughs she did for years but then I found it at home and she told me thats he had keeped it if I was going to regret it but I didn't. " He said " I triedto talk to the bear the first day and I told him that I was scared of dying.. and I wante dit to answer me and tell me taht everything was going to be fine but it couldn't.. " I said " I was also scared of dying and to be honest I still am.. " Simon said " So am I.. but I'm trying to make it into something posetive that I'm scared of dying that means that I wants to live and that is what I'm trying to do. " I smiled and hugged him and said " You are a amazing kid!! And I hav eto say that you teached me something new there and I will try to do the same. " He smiled and gave me a kiss and Michelle was just listing to us and me and Simon talked more about everything that we was scared about and how it had been and I think it was goo dfor both of us.

Me and Jensen flow from Texas Dallas yesterday evening and it was so hard to leave for both of us!! We ate dinner with them yesterday and we talked and had a great time and Donna smiled and looked at me and said " So is My happy that you are coming home? " I laughed and said " I think she is more excited that Jensen is coming home then me " Everyone laughed and Jensen said " She have probaly missed you too " I laughed and said " Yeah but she have missed you more " Jesen smiled and said " Of course she have, that person who wouldn't miss me would be crazy.. but you on the other hand is not that much to miss.. " Everyone laughed and I said " Yeah I love you too honey" He laughed and pressed his amazing lips against my cheek and he teased me and said " Tell me three people that have missed you more then me " I laughed and said " Well.. Madde I think.. then mum have hopefully missed me more then you but who knews since you two have a specially realtionship since you think she is hot.. hmm.. the third one.. Jessica since she hate you or somthing " He laughed and Joshua said " Do you think Toves mum is hot? " I laughed and said " Yeah he was literally drooling over her once " Joshua said " Bro you are weird " Jensen said " What? You ahven't seen her, she is sexy, I promise! " Joshua said " I understand that she have to be pretty hot since her daughter looks like that, but still Jensen.. " Jensen just sign and shooked his head and I laughed and looked at Josh and said " I'm not really that alike my mum.. okay I have her eyes but that is about it, but thanks anyway. " He laughed and said " Then you have to have a handsome father then " I looked at Jensen and I could see how stiff he got when he mention my so called father and I said " I don't really have a dad.. not if you ask me anyway.. " Josh said " Oh god I'm sorry I know your dad is a idoit, I'm sorry " I smiled and said " It's okay" Josh smiled and we countinued eating and talk about everything and nothing and Jensens grandpa Andrew he didn't say that much or eat that much he just looked into his food and I feelt so sorry for him.. I just wanted to go and hug him, but I didn't.

When Dinner was over it was almost time for us to go to the airport, so we carried all of our bages into the car and walked back inside again to say good bye. I hugged will and said good bye, and Michelle and then Mackenzie and smiled and said " When you get to Sweden and I'm not pregnate then we have to party!" They smiled and Mackenzie started to cry and I driedher tear away and said " You are so cute, and I will miss you so much!! " Mackenzie gave me another hug and said " I will miss you too!! I love you honey!" I smiled and said " I love you too!" I kissed her cheek and we let go and she hugged Jensen insted and I walked over to Anderw and gave him a hug and said " It was so nice to finally meet you, but it was sad that it was on a occasion like this.. and I'm so sorry" He said " Yeah I wish Drew had gotten to know you too because you are amazing and I'm so happy that my grandson have you, and I love you kiddo" I smiled and said " I love you too" Then he let go of me I smiled and gave Alan a long hug and said " You know I love you.. dad " He laughed and said " I know you do and I love you too.. kid " I smiled and he kissed my cheek and I looked at Donna and she was all reday crying and I trow my arms around her and she cried " God what I will miss you two!! You mean so much to me you are like my own daughter and I love you so much!! " A tear ran down from my eye too and I said " I will miss you too so much!! I love you!!" Then we just stood there holding each other for a while and then we let go and I looked down at Simon and he looked so sad and I knew that I was going to start cry as fast as I hugged him.. I squat down infront of him and he looked down on the floor and I softy put my index finger under his chin and pulled his head up so he looked at me and I said softy " Simon you are an incredible kid and we have really gotten so close over this week and I will miss you so much honey. " I was really fighting to keep the tears away from falling down and I could see that Simon had the same problem and then I just pulled him closer into my arms and hugged him, then I could keep myself for crying anymore tears was pouring down my face and I could feel that I got all wet on my shoulder so I knew he was crying too and i stroke his back and kissed his cheek and we just stood there holding each other for a long while and when we both ave calmed down I stoped holding him and looked at him and said " If you just knew how much I love you" Another tear rolled down my cheek and with his hand he dried it away and I smiled and he said " I love you too, you are the best! " I smiled and said " No really you are the best!" He said " We both are the best!" I smiled and said " Yeah that's right! you have inspire me so much this week and especially after what I found out this morning, how you can be so happy and full of life and you are just incredible. " He smiled and gave me a hug and then I stood up and Jensen took my hand and Andrew said " You have to come and visit so I got to see my grand grand daughter before I die.. " I said " Of course we will.. we was acutally planing to speand the summer here " Donna had a huge smile on her face and she said " Really?! " I smiled and nooded and Jensen smiled and said " And if Madde get's her will throw then you will see us in Decmbere on our wedding" Donna looked os happy and she thrwo herself on both me and Jensen and hugged us and we laughed and Simon said " When your kid get born maybe she will be just as great as I'm " I smiled and said " If she even get's a little great like 1 % then I will be more then happy " He smiled and then Joshua said it was time to go and I said " It was so nice to meet you all and I love you guys and will miss you so much! Your family is really amazing!" Josh smiled and said " You mean our family, because you are in it!" I smiled and said " Yeah our family. " Then me and Jensen said good bye and walked throw the front door and I opend the car door and was just going to sit down and then all teh sudden the front door of the house flow up and Simon ran out and into my arms and he cried " Don't leave!! Don't leave!!" I picked him up and hugged him and when he had calmed down a little I put him down and he dried his tears away and he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out that green teddy bear that he had got from teh hospital and that he hated and he passed it to me andhe sob and said " I want you to have it, if you have it then it feels like I won't get it back, if you know how i mean " I took his hand and said " I know excatlly how you mean, you know what when I get home I will send you a letter with my teddy bear that I got at the hospital and I never really liked so you can have him. " He smiled and said " then it will be like we can't get it back because we have each others bears " I smiled and said " Excatlly, and if we ever would get it back then we can fight it right? " Simon smiled and nooded and I said " You knwo if you ever needs to talk about this or anything else then just call . " He gave me another hug and then I sat down in the car and he smiled and said " Bye Sexy!" I laughed and said " bye handsome! " I closed the door and Josh started to drive out from teh drive way and we waved to Simon and all teh others, and I could all reday feel how much I missed them!

When we got to the airport Jensen gave Joshua a hug and told him that he lovedhim and they where so cute and then Josh gave me a hug and Josh said "Thanks for talking to Simon this morning I think he needed it " I smiled and said " He helped me just as much as I helped him. " Josh kissed mey cheek and said " Good, but thanks, and I love you and will miss you so much" I smiled and said " I love you too and will miss you more!" Then me and Jensen walked into the ariport and left Joshua and we checked our bags in and walked into the waiting room where we wa sgoing to be seated two hours. When we finally got into the plan and lifted up in the air I looked out throw the window and looked over Dallas and Jensen took my hand and I smiled and looked at him and I said " I can just imadgen how much you are missing them, I miss them all ready and they are not even my family and i have just knewn them for a week almost. " Jensen said " Yeah I do miss them but like I said I'm happy aslong as you are here. " I smiled and then I said " Maybe we should speand Christmas with them.. since was are getting married SOME day and having a baby we can't split up under Christmas as we did before. " Jensen smiled and said " Are you sure? I know that they would be so happy about that. " I smiled and said " Anything for you" He smiled and gave me a kiss and I said " Maybe we should come here more often and visit to. " He smiled and said " I would love too!" I gave him a kiss and then we just sat there holding ecah others hands and I looked throw the window into all the clouds and though about Drew and how fast your life just can end from a minte to another and that is so scary..I looked at Jensen and said " You can never die, I would never be abel to handle that, I wouldn't be stronge enough and I would never survive bury you and know that I never would see you again, promise me that you never will die.. " Jensen was looking at me and he stroke my hand and said " You know that I can't promise that, but if I could then I would. But I will try to live intill I'm 100 or something, but then you can't die either because I would be stronge enought for that either then I wouldn't have anything to live for" I said " You would be strong enough, you are stronger then me. " Jensen said " Both you and me knews that is a lie, you are stronger then me. " I said " Maybe.. but to see you die.. no.. so now I'm going to be selfish and say that I wish I was going to die first " " Jensen said " Yeah that was selfish. " I said " Yeah but how do anyone handle to see the person they love the most die.. my heart just breaks by thinking about it, it must be so hard " Jensen said " Yeah well I almost watched you die twice this year.. that was the hardest time in my life.. when you was kinapped that was the worsed week ever and when you got out of there and I saw you in Tommys arms to be honest I thought you was going to die right threre because you looked so sick and weak and I was so sure that you where not going to make it throw that day.. I was so scared" A tear rolled down my cheek and I dryied it off and said " I have no idea that I looked that bad.. " Jensen said " Yeah well I though it was a bad idea to tell you that and then I had to see you fade away to nothing, because yuo couldn't eat and you needed a new liver and before we knew I was a match I thought that was the end. " I said " I can just imadgen how hard it have to be you, because I can just imadgen if it had been you insted.. when you was in that car crash when Sara, Zara and Niklas told me that it feelt like my heart stopped and I was so scared and when I finally got there and saw you lie there unconscious I realized that I couldn't live without you even though you had hurt me more then anyone else.." Jensen said " Yeah but everything is fine right now and that is the most importent, have you forgiven me yet? " I looked down and he liften my chin up with his hand and said " I understand if you haven't.." I said " I forgive you " He said " are you sure?" I looked into his eyes and said " Yes, I forgive you.." His whole lighted up and he said " You have no idea how happy I'm! but do you trust me? " I said" Yeah I do " He smiled and said " Good even though I don't deserve it. " I smiled and said " As I said I'm to nice for my own good " He laughed and said " Yeah you are " I kissed him and he smiled and started to stroke the inside of my thigh with his hand higher and higher and it feelt really good, I looked at him and smiled and asked what he was doing, he smiled and said " What dose it look like I'm doing " I laughed and he countinued and I started to get really worked up even thought I didn't want too, and I knew Jense could see that and he gave me a cheesy smile and I laughed and then I couldn't hold my hands away from him any longer. I took away his hand from my thigh and I started stroke his thigh with my hand and I moved it higher and higer for everytime and when I was on his beast I could feel that it was hard inside of his pants and I countined strokeing my hand on the outside and I could feel how it got even harder and Jensen sat up more and more and I smiled and so did he and then he stood up and whisperd " Meet me in the bathroom in 5 minuts " I laughed and shooked my head and he gave me a kiss and walked away.

After five minuts I got up and walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door when no one was looking and Jensen opend and pulled me in and locked the door and since the toilet on a airplane are like teeny it's not really that easy to move two around but we was desperat or someting ;) haha Jensen smiled and started to kiss me and his hand moved under my top and he unhooked my bra and his hand started to careness my boob and my hand stroke his back and he stopped kissing me and pulled my top of and my bra and started to kiss my neck and it was so good and then my nipples and I was all reday so worked up so I didn't really need to foreplay which was good since we couldn't stay in the bathroom to long then people have to start wondering. I pulled his shirt over his head and I stroke his chest and abs and he ran his fingers throw my hair and I started to undo his jeans and then I pulled them down and since I was wearing a skirt he just pulled it down and then my pantis and I put my hand in his boxers and started to carness his beast but it was ready hardand big so I smiled and kissed his neck and I pulled his boxers down and then he lifted me up and pressed me aginst the wall and he pressed his beast inside of me and it was so good!! I moan and stroke his back and he started to move and I moan more and more and I ran my fingers throw his hair and stroek his neck and it was so amazing!! He moved harder and faster and depper into me and I moan and so did he and I toched his amazing armas and back and I was close and I know Jensen could see that and here that and he smiled and said " Do you want to come all reday? " I was just goimg to say no when it kncoked on the door and a woman voice said outside that this was the only bathroom since the other one was broke and she needed to get in here. I looked at Jensen and we brust out laughing and I said " Well then it just have to be now then" He smiled and countinued moving faster and I stared to bretah faster and more shallow and I moan loader and loauder and I pressed my legs around his waist harder and he started to go even harder and I moan more and more and then I almost scremed of plesure and I came and he smilled and countinued moving and I strok his shoulders down to his back and then up to his neck and I started to kiss his neck and me moan and and started to breath faster and he got more and more teance and his beast grow even more and then he moan really load and he pressed me into the wall even harder and then he came inside of me and I smiled and kissed him and he took it out and put me down on teh floor and we staretd to get dressed and I said " So what excuse do we have to been in here togehter and this long? " Jensen smiled and kissed me and said " Just play along " I nooded and he gave me a last kiss and Jensen opend the door and a woman who was about 50 stood there and behind her it was a woman who was about 30 and both of them didn't look that happy and Jensen said " We are sorry.. but my fiance here is pregnate and didn't feel that well.. but we are sorry.. " The older woman said " Okay, I understand that was why we heard some weird sounds from in there " Jensen nooded and said " Yeah she was throwing up and and teh woman looked at me and I tried to look so bad as possible and then she walked into the bathroom and looked the door and the younger woman stared at Jensen with big eyes and said " You are Jensen Ackles!! Oh my God you are so gorgeous!!" Jensen laughed and I smiled and the woman looked at me and said " Isn't he?!" I smiled and said " Yeah he is, and abslotly amazing " She smiled and said " You most be the happiest woman alive!!" I smiled and said " Yeah I'm, he is the best!" Then she looked at Jensen and said " Can't I get a hug?! And an autograph?!" Jensen smiled and said " Of course " He wroth his autograph and gave her a hug and she was really over to moon and then we walked back to our sits and sat down and I smiled and said " This is the best flight I have ever been on " he smiled and said " Me too!" I laughed and kissed him and then it was night so they turend of the light and we desided to get some sleep, Jensen took my hand and I lead my head on his shoulder and he lead his head on my head and after a while we acutally feel a sleep.

When we landed I gave Jensen a kiss and we got out of the plane and walked away to get our bags and I could barly wait to see Madde!! When we had reseived our bages we walked out to the entrance and I looked around and then I saw the most beautiful woman in the world stading next to sexy Jared, and when she saw me to she lighted up and I let go of my bags and ran towards her and she ran towards me and we throw our arms around each other and hugged and it was so great to feel her body against mine and smell her and just see her!! I think we stoo dthere hugging for like 5 minuts without saying anything and then we let go and she kissed my cheek and I was so happy and I think she was too, and then I smiled and gave Jared a hug and madde hugged Jensen and then Jared walked to my bags and picked them up and me and Madde walked first and we was talking about everything and nothing and when we got outside I thought I was going to freeze to death !!!!Especially since I was just wearing a skirt without anything under and high heels so it was cold!!! Madde just laughed and me and I hit her arm and we laughed and walked towards our Mustang GT and they guys sat down in the back seat and me and Madde in the front and of course Madde drove, and we talked about what had happend here at home and what we had been doing and we just talked about everything and nothing like we always do, and then we heard Jared and Jensen in a weird voice saying " BLABLABLABLABLA BLA BLA BLABLABLA BLABLA" I tured around and looked at them and I said " What the hell was that?!" Jared said " That is how you and Madde sounds!" Madde said " No we don't!! Shut up!! You two can talk with us too you are so wuit!" Jensen said " It's hard when you two are cackleing like birds! You two haven't been quit since you let go of each other after that hug " We just ignored them and countinued talking and it was so amazing to talk to Madde again, and when we drove into the garage then Jensen and Jared like flow out of the car and we looked at them like you are crazy and Jared yelled " Do you ahev no idea how fast you was driving?!!! I can't belive Tove didn't say something!!" Madde said " No.. like 90? " Jensen shooked his head and said " No more like 150!! " Madde said camly " Oh I didn't notice that. " I said " me neither " Then we laughed and countinued talking and walked inside and mum came running towards us and throw her arms around my neck and I smiled and said " Hi mum!" She said " God what I have missed you two!!" I smiled and then she gave Jensen a hug and then the rest of the family came over to us and gave us a hug and it was so great to be home again even though I miss Jensen family and My didn't came running towards us who I thought would be the first one and I said " So where is My? " Mum smiled and said " Where is she useally on wendsdays at 1 a clock on the day. " I said " Yeah right she is at the kindergarten, I'm just tired and my brain isn't really working liek it should it feels like the time is 5 in teh morning or something " Jensen laughed and said " That's because it is in texas " I yawn and said " yeah right. " Johan asked if we had have a good flight, and me and Jensen looked at each other and laughed and said " oh yeah really good " Everyone looked at us confused and Jensen just kissed me and jensen looked at Krisen and said " So when is My coming home? " Krisen said " When dose she useally come home? " Jensen said " Yeah right at five, my head is also to tired to think. " Mum said " but if you want to make her really happy you can go over there and suprise her and take her home, if you are not to tired. " Jensen smiled and said " We would love to do that and we need some air " I yawn and said " We do? " He laughed and kissed me and said " we do!" We walked upstairs with our bags and I chaged from my skirt to something warmr like my Jense and put my black pumps on my feets and Jensen was also done and we walked down stairs and said that we was going to go and pick up My. Madde gave me a hug and said " I have missed you so much!" I smiled and said " I ahve missed you too!!" Then she said " I will go upstairs and take a shower and when you get back we can do something" I nooded and said " I don't really feel like going to the city because I'm to tired can't we just watch a movie or something? " She smiled and said " of course we can honey, anything for you " I smiled and gave her another hug and me and Jensen left.

When we arrived at the kindergarten also called Hallonet and it is a green house with a hugge raspberry on it. And we knocked on the front door and one of the kindergarden teachers called Monica opened up she smiled when she saw us and she said " My have been talking about you two all day that you are coming home. " Me and Jensen smiled and Monica said " They are eating a snack now, so go and suprsie her " Jensen said " we will " Jensen took my hand and we followed Monica to the table where all teh kids was eating strawberry cream and milk and I smiled when I saw My and I realized how much I acutally have missed her. My was talking to everybody and she said happy and proved" Today my big sister is coming home from Texas which i sin the USA, and her boyfriend Jensen he is really the best guy in the world, and they are getting married and is going to have a baby and I'm going to be the best aunt in teh world! And now I think they ahve bought be presents! because Tove i sthe best big sister in the world!" I looked at Jensen and he smiled and so did I. The other teachers smiled when they saw us and it took a few second before My saw us and when she did her whole face lighted up and she got up from the table and shouted out" Jensen!! Tove!!" Then she ran into Jensens arms and he pickedher up and hugged her and My was so happy and she said " I have missed you so much!! " Jensen smiled and said " And I have missed you even more!" My said " No you haven't I have missed you more!" Jensen said " Not possible!!" My laughed and said " Yes I have!" Then she looked at me and smiled and Jensen gave me My and hold her and she gave me a big hug and said " I have missed you too!!" I said " And I have missed you honey!! " Then she smiled and said " What giftes have you bought me? " Both me and Jensen laughed and said " Who said something about giftes?" My smiled and said " You always buy me something when you are away " I laughed and said " Yeah that's true but I mayeb didn't buy you anything this time because you are a big girl now and thsoe dosn't need gifts" My smiled and said " Madde said she wanted a gift from you and she is a big girl too " I laughed and said " Well when it comes to giftes I think Madde is almost younger then you" My laughed and said " I will tell her that" Jensen laughed and said " Yeah do that" My said " So what did you get me then? " I laughed and said " I didn't buy you anything " My laughed and said " I can see that you are lieing" I sign and looked at Jensen and said " My 5 year old sister can see wehn I'm lying I really have to be bad. " Jensen laughed and kissed me and My said " Gross!" We laughed and so did the all the teachers too. I put My down and Jensen said " Go and eat up your cream now, so you can follow us home. " My smiled and said " I can go home?!" I nooded and My gave me another hug and then Jensen and before she walked back to the table she kissed my belly and put her hand on it and said " I have missed you too Dennie, have you missed me?" Jensen took my hand and smiled and then Jensen said to My " I bet she have missed you just as much " Then she kicked inside of me and My looked at me scared and said " What was that I feelt with my hand? " I smiled and said " That was Dennie" My looked at me with big eyes and said " She is moving in there? " I nooded and MY smiled and said " That was so cool! " smiled and said " My go and eat now!" She nooded and she smiled and walked back to the table and said to everyone and Mys friend Nelly said " That must have been so cool to feel" My looked so proud and said " Yeah it was. " I smiled and gave Jensen a kiss on his cheek and the teachers came and talked to us and one called Gunilla said " I have heard that you two are engaged, so congrats!" Jensen smiled and said " Thanks. " Then Monica said " Can we see the ring? " I lauhed and said " Of course you can. " I showed them my left hand and everyone smiled and said " Wow!! Its' beautiul!! " I smiled and said " Yeah he has good taste" Gunilla looked at Jensen and laughed and said " I wouldn't midn marring you, that ring is amazing " Jensen laughed and said " Yeah I will think about it" Then we laughed and My said she was done and I helped her get dressed and we said goodbye and stareted to walk home. My looked at Jensen and said " Are you still sad? " Jensen said " Yes I'm.. but it's better now. " My said " Where is your grandma now when she is death? " Jensen said " I think she is up in heaven with the angels watching over us all. " My said " But where dose she sleep, and eat? " Jensen smiled and said " Up there, maybe she sleeps ona cloud, I don't know. " My looked up into the shy and I could really see how her brain was working to understand what he just said. n the way we stopped at Coop and bought My a ice cream. Then we walked home.

When we got inside My smiled and said " Presents?!" Evereyone laughed and I walked upstairs and came back with a four presents and I gave 3 to My and I said " This is from both me and Jensen" She smiled and opend the barbie doll and got so happy and she ran over to us and hugged us and then she opend the next one who was a beuatiful princess dress and she smiled and gave us another hug and then she opend teh third one and it was a towle with all the prinsess on it, My smiled and gave Jensen a hug and then me and I smiled and said " Do you like it? " She smiled and said " I love it, but I have all reday got then the best gift earlier today. " Everyone looked at her confused and she smiled and said " To feel dennie kick! " Everyone smiled and My kissed my belly and started to play with her new doll, and Madde said " I also want's to feel that, you promise that you wouldn't cut my hands off!" I sign and said " I know and you will, but she is probaly sleeping now because she is not moving. " Mum said " I'm also going to feel my first grandchild just so you know it " I sign and said " fine!!" Then I looked at Madde and said " Since Madde is just as old as My is when it comes to presents I knew she would be angry and sad if I didn't get her anything, so honey here" I gave her the presnets and everyone else laughed and Madde said angry " Shut up!!" But no one cared but then she riped the paper up and she looked at the red dress that I had bought her and she looked so happy and then she throw her arms around my neck and said " Thank you, thank you, thank you!!" I smiled and said " I know you would like it and you will look amzing in it" She smiled and I pulled up a small present from my jeans pocket and gave it to her and she smiled and said " Another one?!" I smiled and she riped the paper of opend the small box and inside it was a neckless and she picke dit up and I said " Do you see what it is? " She nooded and said " It's a best freind neckless that you break in the middle right? " I said " Yeah excatlly, I know if's goofy but I thought maybe you wanted to share it with someone.. and it don't have to be me.. " Madde looked at me with big eyes and said " Don't be silly! Of course it would be you if you want too? " I said " Yeah.. I though since things was going pretty well between su right.. I thought it maybe was a good present even thought it was goofy present " Madde smiled and said " No it was great present!! but are you sure after everything I have done? " I looked down and took a deep breath and looked at her and said " Yes, I forgive you for that with Jensen.. " Madde looked at me with big eyes and then tears stared to roll down her cheeks and she took a few steps closer to me and then I just granned her arm and pulled her into my arms and we hugged and she cried and then she pushed me away a little and she was stil crying and then she broke the neckless in two and she said " You should have the best heart because you really are the best.. but at the same time you are a amazing freind.. you should have them both " I laughed and and dried a few tears away from her cheek and said " You have to have one side so you choose" She cried and said " Youa re going to have.. the best side because that symbolize everything you are. " I smiled and she put it on me and I took her side of the neckless and put it on her. Then she hugged me again and she said " You ahve no idea how much this meen to me that you fogive me and this neckless and everything!" I kissed her cheek and we just stood there hugging. It was so great! Then all teh sudden Dennie kicked and I grabbed Maddes hand who was around my neck and lied it on my belly and Dennie kicked even stronger then she useally do and Madde smiled and said " So amazing!! That is my Godchild in there!!" I smiled and said " I think even Madde is starting to like the idea that I'm going to have a baby, I bet that you will love her so much!" Madde looked at me and said " No I won't! It was just cool to feel her move inside of you!!" I laughed and said " yeah right.. " Madde just hit my arm and I laughed and then she said " We are going to Tony tomorrow just so you know. " I sign and said " Whatever.. " Then me and madde hugged again and again and again, then we walked upstairs and talked for hours and it was just so great and I have missed her so much and everything feelt like it use to back in the days when we was the best freinds ever, and I think we will be back there soon! :D I love her so much!!

Then My ran into my room and told us that it was dinner and I hugged Madde agian and we walked down stairs to eat, and it feelt good to be home again I have missed them all. We talked and laughed and just had a great time, I said " Me and Jensen is probably going to speand Christmas in Texas.. " Everyone just stared at me for along while and Madde stood up and yelled and said " What?!!! No you can do that!! We want you guys here!!! I need you here! " I said " Yeah well Jensen needs to be with his family too.. and it's juat for a couple of weeks. " Madde looked at me and I think she had tears in her eyes and she looked at Krisen and said " Do something!" Mum said " What can I do? I would love to have them here but I understand. They are maybe married then. " I looked at Madde and said " You have to understand too.. " Madde just shooked her head , and Krisen said " If.. no.. maybe not.. " Madde looked at her and said " What?" Mum said " Well I just though that maybe they wanted to come here and celebrate Christmas, I mean we are soon family for real since Jensen and Tove is getting married.. but maybe it is to much work for them. " Madde lighted up and said " Jensen call them. " Jensen smiled and looked at Kristina and said " That wouldn't be to much trubble for you? " Mum said " No of course not, I would love to have them here. " Jensen smiled and said " I call them tomorrow" Madde smiled and sat down and countinued eating and I kissed his cheek.

Then me and Madde walked up to my room again and she said " I really needed to shop today because I have nothing to wear on Friday.. " I said " Well you have the red dress that I gave you.. otherwise my closet is always opend since I can't even wear half of it.. " Madde smiled and said " Yeah that's true, but shoes? " I smiled and said " Hello my name is Tove and I'm a shoeaholic. " Maded laughed and said " Hello Tove!" I laughed and said " So take whatever you want. " Madde smiled and we walked into my shoe closet since I have a own closet for my my shoes. Madde looked around and said " How many pair of shoes do you woman? " I laughed and said " When Jensen count them it was 314 pair of shoes I think.. but that was a year ago.. so probaly more " Madde said " You are crazy!! " I laughed and said " I know, but I can't live without them and you should be happy that we have the same size on our feet so you can borrow " madde smiled and said " That's true" I nooded and we staretd to serch for the perfect shose and after a while we found them and she will look amazing like always! I think she was happy too :)

Then we deside to find the guys and watch a movie which we did. I was lying on Jensens cheast and Madde on Jareds. But then Madde got up to turen the light of but both me and Jensen stopped her and I said " We will fall a sleep if it's dark. " Madde sign and said fine, we started to watch the movie but after like 10 minuts me and Madde started to talk again and laugh and they guys got pretty tired of us and Jared said " Shut up or watch the movie" Me and Madde just looked at him and Madde said " Well then you leave!" The guys sign and we countinued talking and after 20 minuts Jensen looked at Jared and said " Can't we go back to our room insted and watch the movie?" Jared nooded and they got up and took the movie out from the DVD and left and I said " Aww so cute they are going to cuddle up in our bed and watch a movie " Madde laughed and said " Yeah they will probaly have sex too " I laughed and so did she and we countinued talking about everything.
Then I got really peckish at a watremelon and I knew we didn't have any at home and I was going to post my teddy to Simon that I had promised and I ahd all reday made the letter so everything was done and I had wrote him a letter too. so I told Madde I had to go Ica and she said she was going to go and see if Jared and Jensen movie was done and then jensen and Jared walked into the room and I asked if Jensen wasntet to come with me to the store and he smiled and said yes. I took his hand and we walked downstairs and saw mum, Johan and My. We walked in there and mum asked where we was going and I said to the store and she walkde over to us and whipserd " Can't you take My with you? She say she can't sleep and she always fall asleep in the car. " I nooded and then My ran over too us and gave Jensen a drawing that she had made herself it was a horse and clouds, Jensen smiled and gave her a hug and said it was beautiful and My said " Mum help a little with the horse.. since I didn't know how you grandma looked I draw a horse in heaven insted so your grandma down't have to be lonely.. and I though you wnate dto have it so you wouldn't be so sad. " I smiled and I looked at Jesnen and he was so moved and a tear rolled down his cheek which he fast dried off and Jensen gave her another hug and said " It's really really beautiful, thank you so much honey" My looked at him and said " Did it make you even sader? " Jensen nooded and said " No I think it helped a little " My said " But why did you cry?" Then I inturrpted otherwise I knew this was going to be come a long discussing and I said " My do you want to come with me and Jensen too the store? " My smiled and said " Yay! " I smiled and said " Go upstairs and put something warmer over that Pyjamas. " My nooded and ran upstairs and mum smiled and said " Thank you " Then My came down stairs again and we walked out to the car and I helped My into the backseat and I sat down in teh passager seat and Jensen drove out from teh garage. And since I didn't want her to fall a sleep on the way there Jensen tured on teh radio and both of them started to sing really load and I laughed at them and My told me to sing along and I laughed and said " You don't want that trust me " Jensen laughed and countinued singing and they where so cute!! When we arrived ta Ica I walked over to the mailbox and put the letter in there and then we walked into the store and I found my watermelons and when I walked by the candy I got so peckish at candy and since My shouldn't eat candy since it's not saturday and since it is evening and she should be sleeping and a suger rush dosn't really help with that so I told Jensen to take My out in the car, he laughed and gave me a kiss and payed for my melons.. okat that sentence came out wrong :P hahaha well anyway I bought my candy and hide it in my pocket and walked out of there and into the car where they where siniging. Then Jensen tured down the volum and My asked him to tured it up again and said " Not now.. me and Jensen is going to talk a little " My sign and said " fine" Then we took along road home to make sure she was going to fall a sleep and after 15 minuts I looked at her and she was sleeping and I smiled and Jensen staret to drive home and then he said " I want to thank you for being there for me this week and I know it's not over yet and that this process have just started and I will need you so many times more because I still can't belive she is death. Well Tove do you want to go out with me on a date on saturday evening? " I smiled and said " I would love too.. but you know you don't ahev to thank me. " he said " yes I do, without you I wouldn't have made throw this week you saved my life in sameway. " I said " Well if someones is going to thank anyone then it's me how owe you because you really saved my life. " jensen said " Yeah but you will thank me soon when we get married, and I want to do this for you so don't destroy it, okay? " I smiled and said " Of course not. " I leand over and kiss his cheek. Then we was home and Jensen carried My out of the car and up to her bed and I walked into teh kitchen and cut a melon in half and took a spoon and walked into teh livingroom where mum and Johan was sitting infront of the fireplane cuddling, I sat down next to them in the sofa and mum said " Is she sleeping? " I nooded and she smiled and said " Thanks honey" I smiled and mum said " You have no idea how much I have missed you guys! I'm so glad you are home!" I smiled and said " It good to be home too even though I miss them like crazy " Mum smiled and said " So you got close to them? " I was just going to answer when I heard Jensen voice behind me and he said " yeah they really really love her. " I smiled and Mum said " I'm not suprised. " Jensen sat down next to me and said " Me neither" I smiled and looked at him and gave him a kiss and Johan said " You are so cute together really the perfect couple " We smiled and Jensen kissed me and then we talked to mum and Johan for a while and then we desided to go to bed early since we was super tired.

So now we are lieing in bed and I thought I should blogg before I sleeped but now I have to wrap this up otherwise I will fall a asleep, so have a great night and I see you soon!
Kisses
Tove