Thank You!

Hey Guys!
We are still here in paris and everything is just great, and I think this trip is actually helping me and Madde or I hope so anyway, the worste would be if we got home and everything just got back to “normal”..

Well when I woke up this morning after just a few hours sleep seems me and Madde had been lying away almost the whole night talking about everything and nothing, and it was so great to be able to do that, we always did that before.. before this year and then everything happened and we stop talking so it was amazing to just lied there talking in the dark, I have really missed her.

Well anyway like I said when I woke up this morning Madde was still a sleep so I got up and walked into the shower. When I was done I wrapped a towel around me and walked out of there and got meet by Maddes eyes looking at me in bed. I smiled and said “Oh look sleeping beauty is finally awake” She laughed and got up from bed and walked over to me and smiled and stroke a wet lock of hair away from my face and then she lied her arms around me and hugged me and said “ Thanks for being here for me “ I smiled and said “ Thanks for being here for me “ She kissed my cheek and let go of me and looked at me and I smiled and said “ I love you so much “ She smiled and said “ I love you too “ Then she hugged me again and when she let go my towel side down to the floor and I picked it up really fast and wrapped it around me again and Madde laughed and I told her to shut up but she just continued and then I started to laugh too while I walked away and put on a pair of panties and a bra. Then I put away the towel and started to sort out my wig in front of the mirror. After a minute or so I felt another brush in my hair and I looked into to the mirror and saw Madde stood behind me helping me I smiled and she smiled back and said “ God you are so beautiful” I said “ Thanks.. or whatever “ She just sign and shocked her head but she didn’t say anything more because I think she knows that I know what she was thinking. When my wig was done I smiled and thanked her and she walked into the bathroom to take a shower, so I picked up the phone and called Jensen. When he answed he sounded kind of tired but he said “ Hello baby, what’s up? “ I smiled and said “ Not much, just got out of the shower “ Jensen said “ So you are calling me all naked? “ I laughed and said “ No, not totally naked, I have a bra on and panties. “ He laughed and said “ Yeah but still you must look so sexy” I laughed and said “ Jensen am I turning you on? “ He said “ No not at all, it’s the other woman who is laying next to me here in bed who is turning me on “ I said “ Ha-ha really funny. “ Jensen said “ What? I meet her last night when me and Jared was out on a club, she has brown hair, blue eyes and a body to kill for . “ I said “ Oh really? So what did you guys do last night then? “ He said “ We had a lot of wild drink sex last night for hours, and you are not the only one who loves my tongue “ I said “ Was she good? “ He said “ oh yeah, amazing “ I said “ Better then me? “ He was quit for a few seonds then he said “ Hard question..” I said “ You are kidding right?” He started to laugh and said “ Do you really think I have a girl next to me now? “ I said “ No, because if you had you would never have told me “ He said “ Tove.. don’t you trust me “ I laughed and said “ I was kidding, of course I trust you “ He said “ Are you sure? “ I said “ I’m sure, so how big hangover do you have? “ He laughed and said “ Enough so my head will hurt when I laugh” I laughed and said “ I feel so bad for you.. not “ He said “ You are so evil, what kind of girlfriend do I have “ I laughed and said “ Good question Jensen, maybe should have though about that before you asked me to marry you “ He laughed and said “ Maybe. “ I smiled and then he said “ I just thought about something, that it is almost just one month and 1 week intill we are getting married. “ I didn’t answer so after a few seconds he said “ Tove? Did you die? “ I said “ No , I’m here.. I just didn't want to get reminded about that horrible day..and don't take it personal it's not about you " He laughed and said " I know and I would describe it as horrible, I would rather use the word amazing or fantastic or perfect day because that what it will be for me" I said " I know honey.. and I'm sorry that I don't feel the same " he said " It's okay aslong as you say I do and become Mrs. Jensen Ackles " I said " Don't say that.. " he laughed and said " So what your last name going to be? " I said " I haven't desided just yet.. but I think that it will be both our names, because Tove Ackles sound so weird, I'm sorry " He said " You deside I don't care aslong as you be my wife" I sign and said " yeah right.. your wife" He laughed and said " Tove calm down" I sign and said " So how many girls did you meet last night? And don't lie to be like you did the other day " " He cleared his throwt and said " A few.. " I said " And did you guys flirt back? " He cough a little and said " Of course not.. we have you guys.. " I said " Did you and Jared flirt or not? " He said " Maybe just a little.. " I sign and said " of course you did.. " he said " Like you haven't been flirting with anyone over there. " I said " Acutally I haven't, and I'm totally honest now " Jensen said " Yeah righ. " I said " I mean it you can ask Madde if you like, I haven't even look at a guy, I just miss you " He said " I miss you too baby " I smiled and then Madde walked out from the bathroom and she rolled her eyes when she saw me talking in the phone, so I said " jensen I think I have to go. " He laughed and said " Is Madde tired of us? " I a laughed and said " Oh yeah " He said " I love you so much that it almost hurts and I miss you so much that I can't even decribe it " I smiled and said " I love you too baby, you are amazing and I miss you too so much and I will call you tonigh" He said " I know you do, and do that , bye " I smiled and said " Bye " Then we hung up. Madde just shooked her head and we got dressed and walked downstairs to eat breakfast.

We took our breakfast and sat down and we started to talk, then I wanted some more juice so I got up and walked away to get some, when I got to the table where the juice was a kind of cute guy stood there and filled coffee and when he saw me he smiled and I was just going to grab the jug with juice but the guy did it faster then me and he and poured up my glass, I thanked him and he gave me another smiled and when I got back to Madde she said " He was totally flirting with you, I can't belive you didn't flirt back he was hot and it's you. You didn't even look at him " I said " I don't want to mess things up anymore between me and Jensen more then it all reday will be so.. " Madde said " He won't kill you for lookig at a guy " I said " Maybe not but I just don't feel like it, okay? Or is it something wrong that I want to be faithful to my boyfriend? I'm not like you who mess around with every guy you see. " Madde just looked at me and I could see that she got hurt and I said fast " I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that and I didn't mean to sound so bitcy.. I'm really sorry honty, is just that I'm so worried and scared all the time and I'm so affried to mess this up with Jensen, Iknow it's not an excuse for what I just said but it is the trust because I really didn't mean it,I promise " She took my hand which was laying on the table and said " It's okay " I smiled and she said " Do you want me to be with you when you tell him? " I said " as much as I would like to have you there, but this is something I must do myself.. if I had the courage to cheat then I just have to have the courage to tell him.. " Madde nooded and said " I understand. " I said " I know you would.. but there is something you can do for me. " Madde saud " Just tell me " I said " You can be there for him afterwards.. because I think he will need someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on or hug or something " Madde said " I can do that.. " I said " Thanks for beging there for him all year long, that means a lot to me and him " She smiled and said" Thanks for trusting me again with him " I said " Of course I do " She smiled and so did I. Then I said " So what should we do today then? " Madde smiled and said " Since we where shppoing things for everyone else yesterday then many we should go and find ourself something clohets and shoes and so on " I smiled and said " Sounds good " madde said " Maybe some maturity clohes too " I said " What? Are you pregnant?" She sign and said " Ha-ha really funny, I meant you " I said " In your dreams!" Madde said " You can barely get into your jeans anymore" I said " Yes I can! I just can't button them.. " Madde just shooked her head and I said " Shall we go? " She nooded and we walkup to the hotelroom to get some more clohes and walked outside.

It was a sunny day in paris and we started to walk down Champs elysees which is one of the biggest and most famous roads in Paris. We walked into the Disney store and found all dresses from the fairy princesses like, the little mermaid, cinderella and all of them and of course we had to buy it for My and we found a lot of other thigs too. Then we walked into a store and found the most beautiful dress ever, and Madde tried it on and it was to small for her and since they didn't have size small just meduim which is to big for her so I bought it insted because when I pop this baby out I will get that slim again, trust me! I think Madde got a little jealous but who cares :P haha Well I mostly just bought things that I can use later when I'm not pregnant anymore. Which Madde though I was stupied to do, she found a really beautiful shirt and a pair of jeans and of course alot of other things. I found ALOT of shoes, I can only find one bad things about shoes and that is that they are so hard to get home, but it worsth it. Then we found a great t-shirt to Emil that he will look great in, to Tom and Jerry we found a really cool toy thing, it's hard to describe but they will love it, to Jess we bought a couple of tops, to Zara we found a amazing dress, and to the other Sara we found also an amazing dress. Then we found a few more thinsg to us self, I bought a neckless and so did Madde and then we bought some more clohes and when I finally looked at time it was all ready over four a clock and we had left the hotel at 12, and we hadn't even stopped for coffee that was sick!! BUt we had a great time talking, laughing, joking about weird things. Then Madde saw a sexy shop since there is like a sex shop in every steet here. So Madde laughed an dragged me in there and it was like dildos everywhere and porn and leather whips and costumes and just everything you can imadgen you could find in there and of course it was a disgusting man in there too who worked there, fat and old!! And alot of othere guys who was buying things, me and Madde just laughed and laughed, but we acutally bought something as a suprise for the guys so many Madde will tell you about that tomorrow what it was and what they thought ;P hahah

We started to walked back to the hotell to leave all of our bags, and it was many of them!!!!!!! When we had left all of them we walked outside again to buy new travling baggs so we can get home tomorrow :P haha We walked into a store and Madde found a black one and which color do you think I picked? Yeah that's right pink, what else? :P haha
Then we walked back to the hotel again to leave them and freshed up a little before dinner. While Madde was in the bathroom her phone rang so I answerd and it was Vic, he said " So what do you guys think of Paris? " I smiled and said " We love it, or I do anyway. " He said " Great, so you still don't want to join me tomorrow? " I said " Sorry Vic.. " He said " It's okay " I smiled and said " But you know what, we are not going home intill tomorrow afternoon so maybe before we leave we can meet if Madde want to? " He said " I would love to see you two girls again " I smiled and said " Great" Then Madde walked out from the bathroom and I gave her the phone and they stared to talk and I walked into the bathroom to get ready when I was done she was done talking. Both of us was wearing beautful dresses and high heels and we looked kind of good, then we was reday and we walked outside. And we didn't really know where to go and eat so we walked around a little and startedt o get kind of dark outside so it was kind of cozy, after a while we found a beautiful resturant. We sat down and looked at the menu and Madde looked at me and said " Do you kill me if I drink a glass of wine? " I said " No not as long as it is white wine. " She laughed and said " Okay good " I smiled and we orderd and she took a glass of white wine and I just drank a coke, teh food was amazing!! After that we order in dessert too which almost tasted even better!! It was almost the best resturant I have ever eated on! We sat there for hours talking and laughing and it was a lot of people there and it was so so great everything. I said " have you talk to Nicky today? " She shooked her head and said " No not today. " I nooded and said " To Jared then? " She said " No not him either, we are not liek you and Jensen who need to talk to each other 24/7" I laughed and said " They are probley out partying right now and are really drunk " Madde laughed and said " yeah probably, meeting girls alot of them, like I said Jensen in the middle surronded of hot sexy women dancing " I said " Shut up! " She laughed and said " You and Jensen are the most jelous people that I know. " I said " I'm not jealous, he is " She laughed and said " yeah right.. you never was like this with some other of your guys" I said " Well I love Jensen more then I ever have loved someone else, so maybe that's why " Madde said " maybe, and I'm so happy that you two are getting married!!! It will be the best wedding in the history!!" I said " Yeah whatever " She just laughed. Then I said " Can I ask you something? " She nooded and I said " Who are you most in love with? I mean do you lie to yourself and everyone else just because you have to.. " She said " How do you mean? " I said " I mean that are you just in love with Jared because you have too, or do you really love him in more then a freind way? or are you just inlove with Nicky? Because when it comes to Nicky I have never seen you that crazy about a guy before.. not even Jared.. I mean if you are not really in love with him then maybe you should tell him for real this time that it's over.. " Madde sign and said " I'm in love with him.." I said " But? " She said " I don't know" I nooded and lied my hand on her and we just sat there talking for a while about alot of diffrent things. Then the waiter came over to us and placed two drinks infront of us and nooded towards two guys and said " from those two gentlmen over there " Me and Madde looked fast and they looked at us and smiled and they was really hot, Madde looked at me and said " What should we do? " I said " I don't really feel like talking to guys right now.. " Madde said " We can just talk. " Then I didn't get the chance to say anything more because then the two guys walked over to us and smiled and said " Can we join you? " Madde didn't say anything either they just sat down on the chairs next to us on next to me and one next to Madde. The guy who say next to Madde said his name was Noel and the guy next to me was called Andre. Madde started to drink her drink and they asked where we came from and we said sweden and the guy called Noel said " You guys are so beautiful tonight " We just said thanks. Then the guy next to me started to hit on me like crazy. He put his hand on my thigh got closer to me and started to sniff my neck and whipserd " You look amazing, so sexy " I was so uncomfterble with it and he stroke my arm and he whisperd agian " Why don't you taste your drink, it's really good " I said " Because I don't drink " is finger gently touch my neck and I knew Madde could see how much I hate it and he said chessy " Why not? A beautiful girl like you need some fun. " I said " Because I'm pregnant" He stopped touching me and then he smiled and said " Oh really, I have never been with a pregnant woman before" Then his hand started to move higer on my thigh under my dress and he started to touch my neck and I said " Please stop" He just smiled and countinued and I said " Get off me I don't want too! " He just laughed and countinued and I just hit his hands away and Madde said angry " If you don't stop I will fucking kill you man!! " He said " What is she your girlfriend? And you are going to have a baby togehter so cute " Madde said angry " Yes she is!" The guys laughed and said " Oh really. " I looked at Madde and said " honey should we go? " Madde nooded and took my hand we paied the bill and the guys where smiling and said " Can't we come with you guys up to your hotell? " Madde said " No! She is mine and just mine, I don't share. " Then she looked at me and gave me a kiss and I kissed her back and the guys just smiled and then we said goodbye and left. We started to walked back towards the hotell and Madde was really angry and I could hear her say that she wanted to kill him, then I looked around and saw the guys behind us and I told Madde and she wanted to tured around and kick there asses but I just dragged her into the hotel and up to our suit.

Madde took a shower to calm down and while I waited I changed clohthes to something more comfeteble, my softy pants and a top. Then it knocked on the door and I almost thought that it was going to be those fucking horny idoits, so I carefully opend the door but there stood a hotel person who workes here and he had was holding a huge bouquet of blood-red roses and he looked at me and smiled and said " Tove? " I nooded and he made me sign a paper and then he gave me the bouquet and said " Have a great evening miss " I smiled and said " Thanks " Then I closed the door and the roses was so beautiful, but I was a littls scared that it was Andre or what his name was who had send them. Then Madde walked out from the bathroom and said " Oh my God!! Those are so beautiful!! Where did they come from " I said " yes they are amazing, I don't know yet I just hope it's not that creey guy.. " Madde said " Then he is death " I opend the card that was there and I read and it stood " I miss you, can't wait till you get home. Love your own Jensen. Ps. My heart belongs to you ds." I couldn't help but smile and then Madde said " Who was it from?" I gave her the card and she read it and smiled and said " honey that dude is so romantice and cute, and like I have said many times you have nothing to worry about he would never break up with you he loves you more then anything else I have ever seen. " I smiled and said " Yeah I think so, but he must be crazy to love me so much " Madde smiled and said " Honey he is not crazy, you are wounderful " I smiled and she gave me a hug and then she got dressed and I put the flowers in water and put them on my night table so I could look at them and read the card again. Then Madde picked up the phone and called Jared, while they talked I was totally in my own world, I just lied there smiling and thinking about Jensen and who lucky I'm to have him, I have no idea how long I lied there and I barely heard when Madde talked to me after she had hang up with Jared. But I looked at her and I said " So where they out? " She said " Oh yeah and he was drunk! " I laughed and said " That is not a big suprise " I looked at the flowers again and Madde smiled and said " Do you know how happy you look right now? You are like floting on clouds right now, whole you are like glowing " I smiled and said " That is excatlly how I feel, it's crazy how much I love that man I would do anything for him " She smiled and said " I can see that and I'm so happy for you, but can we watch a movie now or something or doyou just want to dream about Jensen? " I smiled and said " Dream about Jensen " She laughed and said " Snap out of it " I laughed and said " sorry " We watched maybe three movies and the main subject was sexy guys ;) So we was drooling s little or that was a lie, we was drooling a lot :P haha

Then we tured of the light and lied there talking and I smiled and said " Thanks for not giving up on us, becuse I have been so close this last weeks, and I'm sorry for that " She said " I can't give up on us because I need you " I took her hand and said " And I need you, you are the best friend in this whole world, you have been there with me throw the most horrible things in life and te most amazing things in life and I hope that will countinue the rest of our lifes " She smiled and said " I hope so too, and you are amazing do you know that, the strongest woman I know who can go throw everything this year. And now you are pregnant to and is getting birth to a baby in a few month, I would never been abel to do that" I smiled and said " Thank you honey, I love you so much" She smiled and said " I love you just as much if not more " I smiled and said " That is not possible " She smiled and I sat up and she did the same and hugged me, I kissed her cheek and then I pused her away a little and said " Also thanks for helping me with that guy" She said " I just want to fucking kill him, cut his dick of part for part and feed it to him!!" I said " Calm down, deep breath " She did as I said and then she was a little calmer and I kissed her forhead and said " You are amazing sis" She smiled and said " So are you" I smiled and gave her a fast kiss on her lips and then we lied down again I put my head on her shoulder and it felt so great, we always did like this when we where the best best friends in thsi world. She kissed my hair and then we said good night.

After an hour our so Madde acutally fall asleep and I couldn't sleep so I quitly and carefully got up from her arms and got dressed and took my cell and walked out on the balcony, and from here I could see the eifeltower really clear from here and it was so beautiful in the dark night. I smiled and dialed Jensens numbere and he picked up just after a few signals and he said " I have been waiting for you call " I smiled and said " Thank you the roses was so beautiful and you can't even imadgen how much they mean to me " He said " I'm glad you like them, because I do miss you. " I smiled and said " And I miss you. " He said " I know. " I said " It's really quit where you are, I thought you was out at a club. " He laughed and said " Tove have you looked what time it is? " I looked the time on the phone and it was like 5 in the morning and I smiled and said " Sorry if I woke you up" He said " I can't sleep without you so I just laied here in bed thing of you. How much I miss those amazing blue eyes looking at me, those soft lips against mine, your soft hands touching me or just holding my hand, I miss that beautiful smile, how you wrinkle your nose when you laugh, how I can feel your heart beat inside of your chest, I miss your laughter, I miss seeing your lips who they moves when you talk, I miss how you always worry about me and taking care if me and everyone else you love, I miss laying my hand on your belly and feel our baby kick, I miss your heart and soul and everything that makes you you. You are amazing and I love you so deeply that it feels like I love you isn't enough to tell you who I feel about you. " Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I cleared my throwt and said " I feel exatlly the same, like I love you isn't stronge enough word to really showes how much you mean to me I would do anything for you, you are everything good in this world that I need, you my life, my soul, my heart and my liver because without you I would be here in Paris right now talking to you. " more tears rolled down my face because I really hope he will feel the same when I tell him about Tobbe.. I tured around and looked inside to see if Madde still was a sleep, and she was or she was just pretending i don't know because she wasn't lying as she had been doing because now she was lying so she could see me if she opend here eyes, but I think she was sleeping. Jensen said " You are the most amazing person in this world. " I smiled while the tears rolled down my face and he said " Are you crying? " I didn't answer and he said " Honey what's wrong? " I hate to lie to him but I could tell him over the phone about Tobbe so I said " Nothing, it's just the hormons you know, I just a got a little moved about all those amazing words you said about me. " He said " Are you sure? " I nooded and said "I'm sure " Then the Eifeltower tower started to twinkle in the dark and it was just so beautiful and I smiled and said " So how was your night? Some girls? " Jensen laughed and said " It was great, Johan acutally comed with ous to and we had a really great time, and few girls was hiting on us " I said " Oh so you guys had a J3 night out, that must have been a lot of fun. Just a few? " Jensen said " Yeah it was really fun to hang out with him, we deside to do that more often. What's a few? " I smiled and said " That's good. A few is 10 maybe? " He laughed and said " It was more then 10 " I laughed and said " Of course it was, so did you flirt? " jensen said " No I couldn't stop thinking about you, and like I said my heart belongs to you. " I smiled and said " I know I'm wearing the key right now" I could almost see he smiled throw the phone and this night was just so perfect everything was just so amazing the Eifeltower, Jensen, flowers, Madde, the key, just everything. I smiled and said " Maybe we should sleep now so we will see each other faster " He said " Yeah that's true even though I can't sleep, and when you get home I will not let you out of my sight or leting my hand leave your hand. " I smiled and said " That sounds good, I can't wait " He said " I love you honey, the best thing in my life " I smiled and said " And I love you, you are so amzing" He said " So are you, see ya tomorrow and call me tomorrow too" I smiled and said " I will, bye and goodnight " He said " Goodnight, sweeit dreams " I smiled and said " I will be dreaming of you so yeah " He said " And I will be dreaming of you " I smiled and we said goodbye and I hang up and then I just sat there for a few minuts looking over Paris then I walked back inside to Madde and crawled down in bed and I started to blogg. But now I will wrapp this up and lied down on Maddes shoulder again and sleep.

So Good night with you guys!
Kisses
Tove