I Love You.

Heya!

Sunday... The weather today has been ghastly so I haven't even put my foot outside the door all day, in other words it has been a pretty dull day :P

First I woke up in the middle of the night because of the weather. The wind and rain was whipping against the window and it made alot of noice. The room was freezing becuase Jared had forgotten to close the airing window and when I woke up and it was so cold and I just wanted to cuddle up clsoer to jared; he had of course turned his back against me and slept like a baby. I grumbled and walked out of the bed and closed the window and then I went back into bed and moved closer to jareds back and stroke it with my hand. He didn't wake up so I softly kissed his naked shoulder but he still didn't wake up and I was really cold so I put a hand on his arm and tried to turn him around but i didn't manage and I was really cold and started to get pretty impatient so I said "Jared... wake up.". He took a deep breath and I said "Baby... hold me, I'm cold.". He moaned and turned around to me and whispered with a sleepy voice "Come here honey.". I smiled and laid down in his arms and he wrapped them around me and I rested my head on his shoulder and focused on his heartbeat and then I fell asleep again. It was the best feeling in the world and I just wanted to stay there forever and ever. After a few more hours sleep I woke up because I felt jared move his fingers over my arm, i jawed and stroke his chest and he pressed his lips against my head and he wispered "What are you goign to do today?". I still had my eyes closed and I smiled and said "You mean waht are WE going to do today?". I could feel his lips on my head turn into a smile and he said "Really?" I looked up and looked into his amazing eyes and said "yeah really, today I want to spend it all with you.". He smiled and kissed me softly and he said "Well what are we going to do today then?" i smiled and said "i don't know sexy, what do you want to do?". he said "I don't know, never leave your side?". i smiled and kissed him and said "That sounds good, I can deal with that. What if we just have a fat day today and like watch movies and eat candy and cookies and things like that?". He smiled and said "that sounds really great! but first, I know a way to get some warmth into the sexy cold body of yours.". I gave him a cheesy smile and siad "Really? how?" he slowly moved his hands over my back and put them inside my top and started to stroke it there. I smiled and ran my fingers throuhg his hair and pressed my lips against his and kissed him with eager. i stroke his amazing abs and chest and he took a hold of my top and pulled it over my head and threw it on the floor. I continued to kiss his chest and abs while he was stroking my arms and back and then I got to the edge of his boxers so I slolwy pulled them off his tight ass and and stroke his legs up to his beast and I looked at him and smiled and he just looked at me with eyes filled with disire and love and when I slowly started to stroke his beast he smiled and closed his eyes. I took a light grip of it and started to move my hand slow but firm and he smiled and his beast slowly started to grow i my hand and become stiff. I smiled and put it in my mouth and started to moved and he began to moan and I felt that it grew even more between my lips and when it was hard enough I kissed him over his amazing abs and chest and then his lips. He rolled us around and I felt how his right hand stroke my side slowly untill it got to my panites and found it's way inside them and he slowly caressed me. It felt so good and he began to kiss my neck and I stroke his amazing back and ran my fingers through his hair. he looked at me and smiled and then he kissed over my chest, boobs and stomach and slowly pulled his hand up from my panties and started to slowly pull them off. I smiled and thought that right there and then I was the happiest girl in the world! He gave me a cheezy smile and stroke my legs up to my knees where he stopped and spred them alittle and then he began to kiss the inside of my lift thigh while he stroke the other and I just closed my eyes and took a grip of the covers with my hand and squeezed it. I smiled while he moved higher and higher and then he started to use his tongue to get me all worked up even tough I was pretty worked up allready but it felt amazing!! I started to moan and he stroke my stomach up to my boob and started to caress it and it was so good!! I began to breath more shallow and faster and then he knew he had found the right spot so he tickled with his tognue faster and it was just insanely good! I moaned loudly and squeezed the covers harder and I was so close at coming and it was just amazing! I moaned and he moved faster and then I breathed even faster and moaned "Yes! Yes! Yes!" and he moved even faster and then I came and it was just soooooooo GOOOOOOD!!! He smiled and looked at me and I tried to calm down and he kissed my lips and took a firm grip around his beast and helped to press it inside of me and it was sooo good to feel that big beast in my again and I moaned loudly. I smiled and stroke his back and he began to slowly moved deep but slow and it was so great, He smiled and kissed my neck and then my lips again and I moved my hands over his back to his bum and squeezed it slightly. I just love his ass! He has a great ass and it so firm and fit and just perfect. He smiled and conitnued to kiss me and he began to move alittle bit faster and I closed my eyes and we both began to breath more shallow. I ran my fingers through his hair, over his neck and then his back again and he began to move faster and faster and it made me moan even more. He also moaned and ran his fingers through my hair and then he sat us up and I felt how his beast got even further inside of me and I maned loudly because of it. He smiled and kissed my neck and I moved slowly and felt his sweaty back against my hands. Then he laid us down again and he began to move even faster and we both moaned loudy and I felt hos close I was and he was really close too and I moaned "Faster and harder!" and he did as I asked and I almost screamed with pleasure and he smiled and then I stopped breathing and came and it was so amazing and he conituned to move fast and hard which made it stay so much longer. When I relaxed again I kissed him and ran my fingers over his chest to his back and over to his ass and he moved faster and harder and then he got all tense and I felt his beast grow alittle in me and then he came with a loud moan. I smiled and when he was done he took it out and laid down next to me and I gave him a kiss and siad "thank you, now I'm warmer.". He smiled and wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer and kissed me and then I just laid there in his arms and listened to his breath and his heart beat inside his chest.

After lying there for like an hour just cuddleing we desided to get up and Jared walked into the bathroom to take a shower and I stayed in bed untill he ot back with a towel wrapped around his waist and I smiled and looked at him and he said "What?". I looked into his eyes and said "Nothing, I love you." he smiled and looked at me and then he walked over to me and pulled me up from the bed and hugged me. To feel his bare chest and arms around my naked body without haveing sex was really nice and I softly kissed me and said "I love you too honey.". Then he let go of me and i went to the bathroom to take a warm shower and when I got back to our room it was really realyl cold and I saw that Jared had opened the airing window again. I stared at him where he was sitting on the bed and walked over to it to close it and he said "What are you doing? We could really use some freash air in here.". I said "I'm freezing cold and you opens a fucking window! I want it close because I hate to freeze and we don't need fresh air in here, it smells like you ad i love it.". I closed the winodw and then I felt his hands on my stomach and he kissed me cheek and put his chin on my shoulder and he said "I'm sorry, I should have known better than to open a window when I know that you were cold.". I smiled and put my hand against his cheek and said "It's okay baby." then I turned around and kissed him and walked into the wardrobe and got changed. i asked Jared if I could borrow one of his hoodies because they are always so warm and he handed a black one to me and it smellt so great! I smiled and then he gave me a hug and we walked downstairs to eat some breakfast. When we got there Johan and Kristina was allready sitting there and they said "morning." we smiled and said "Good morning.". And then Jared gave me a kiss and told me to sit down and that he would fix our breakfasts so I joined Johan and Krisen around the table while Jared started to make us some sandwishes and coffee. I just looked at him and smiled and then Krisen said "So what are you guys going to do today?". I woke up from my daydreaming and said "We are going to watch movies because the wather is so horrible.". She smiled and Johan said "Well that is the right thing to do." I smiled and nodded and krisen said "I'm so glad to see you two so happy.". I smiled and turned to Jared and I could tell that he was smileing too eventhough I could hardly see his face. I turned back to Krisen and said "Yeah I'm happy too." she said "I was hoping that you guys would get back together again because you make each other so happy.". I didn't say anything because i didn't know what to say. If I said that we weren't together I might hurt Jared again and that is the last thing I want to do but if i say we are a couple then I would be lying. But then Jared was done with the breakfast so he put a sandwish and a cup of coffee infront of me and then he sat down next to me and siad "Well we aren't exacly together... We are taking it slow.". I looked at him and he had the shadow of a smile on his face and in his eyes and I said "Yeah, we are taking it slow.". krisen said "Oh okay, but I really think you guys should get back together.". I nodded and said "So do I but we don't want to rush things and..." and then Jared interrupted me and said "And Nicky is still a huge part of Maddes life but hopefully he will be a smaller part soon.". I looked at him and was just waiting for a sad face but he looked totally neutral and I said "He will be... He was a bigger part before but he is a smaller part now. But he will always be a big part of my life because he is one of my best friends.". He nodded and said "I know honey and I want him to be your friend too. Just so you know, I'm not the only one who has changed for the better this year.". I looked at him confused and he said "You have changed too to the better and Nicky is the person to thank for that i think.". I felt tears starting to build up in my eyes and he said "So I don't want you to cut Nicky out of your life because i have a lot to thank him for and he is such a good man and a good friend and he loves you and cares about you and takes care of you when I can't.. He has proved that he wouldn't harm you in anyway and I think i trust him... I know I trust you but I'm not 100% sure about him.". I felt a tear roll down my cheek and he smiled and stroke it away and I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried "Thank you so much Jared! I'm so happy that you trust me and you can trust Nicky too because we have made things clear but I understand if you don't. God i love you so much!!". He kissed me and said "I love you too and i will try and trust him too but thank you.". Then we dried my tears away and I looked at krisen and johan and they were just smiling and i asked "What?" and krisen looked at the watch and said "oh I have to go to work, see you guys later. I love you johan.". they kissed and Johan said "Love you too." then I said to Krisen "Send my love to pontus and Dennis will ya?". She nodded and I turned to Jared and he just ate his sandwish so I don't think he minded that I said that to krisen.

After breakfast Jessica walked down the stairs and walked into the kitchen and I said "Morning." she just looked at me and muttered but i said "So what are you going to do today?". She looked out through the window and then she siad "nothing you need to know.". I nodded and said "Fine, well if you're not going to do anything I was just going to ask if you wanted to watch movies with me and Jared today, we are going to bake something and then have a movie marathon.". She looked at me and siad "Well, I have some other things to do." i nodded and said "okay, to bad... We can do it some other time so that you can join us too.". She nodded and started to make her breakfast and Jared and I walked into the livingroom and turned the tv on and cuddled down in the sofa together. He said "it was really nice of you to ask Jess if she wanted to join us.". I said "Yeah well I'm sick of fighting with her..." he kissed my head and said "i know honey..". I smiled and we watched "Inside the actors Studio" on STAR! and it was Conan o'brian there and we were both of us laughing so hard to some of the things he was doing. i don't really like conan o'brian because he has such a childish humor but today at the actors studio he was really funny and we laught alot. Anyway after that we went into the kitchen and made cupcakes and cookies and I went to the store to buy some candy and some mini marshmallows and then I drove back home and when I opened the door a wall of wonderful smells came at me and I smiled and walked into the kitchen were Jared was sitting waiting for the cupcakes to be ready. He smiled and said "there you are, I was getting worried." I smiled and walked over to him and gave him a kiss and said "You are so adorable. Is the cupcakes done yet, it smells wonderful!". He smiled and said "So are you. Yeah soon, ten minutes." I smiled and showed him the bag of candy and he smiled and said "You are my saviour! I love you.". I smiled and said "You love me for a bag of sweets?" he walked over to me and pressed me against the worktop and looked me in the eyes, stroke my hair and said "No I love you because you make me feel amazing, you make me happy and safe and cared for and all I want is to spend every living moment in you presence.". Then he gave me a deep sexy kiss and I ran my fingers through his hair and when our lips parted I said "I love you too.". He smiled and then the kitchen bell rang so Jared had to take the cupcakes out and I started to make some hot chocolate and put some cream and marshmallows on top and then we took a whole tray and put the cups with hot chocolate, cupcakes, candy and cookies on it and walked into one of the movierooms and put on a movie and sat down in one of the big sofas and I rested my head in Jareds lap and he stroke my hair. It was so cozy to watch movies with him and just be with him and no one else all day and eat candy and cookies and cupcakes and drink hot cocoa. I have to say that this day is one of my top ten of all days in my life, it was amazing. I never wanted it to end. :)

When we had watched about 5 movies we heard a knock on the door and Tim opened it and said that it soon was dinner. we said that we'd be down in a few and then he nodded and looked at us and it felt like he got hurt by seeing me and Jared so cozy and loving, but I love Jared and I will not give up on him and I will not hurt him anymore and Tim has Molly so he shouldn't be jealous. Anyway we walked downstairs after a few minutes and everyone was already sitting in the kitchen eating and it was really good food. After dinner we walked upstairs to our room and just laid in bed and then my phone rang and it was Nicky. I smiled and said "Hey friend." he laughed and said "Hi hon. What are you doing in the horrible weather?". I said "I'm freezing but Jared is here to keep me warm but we aren't doing so much at the moment. We have watched movies all day today. what about you?". He said "I'm glad Jared is there for you. That sounds so cozy, I miss the days we would do that. I haven't done so much today it's been so bad weather so I have just been on the phone with Shane and watched tv.". I said "So am I. I know Nicky, but don't think about that now. That sound both good and bad because I want you to do something but it's nice to talk to shane. How is he?". Jared looked at me and I smiled and he stroke my cheek and Nicky said "I know, sorry I just miss you sometimes, especially days like this... I know honey, he is doing just fine but he misses you and me and he, mark and Kian are thinking about maybe coming to sweden to visit us again.". I said "I know and I feel the same sometimes but not today, sorry. I miss him too! And I really hope they will come over and visit us!". He said "I understand that, sorry that I brought it up. Yeah i wish that too.". I said "It's okey honey." Jared looked at him and I whispered "you okay?" he nodded and smiled and kissed my cheek and it made me smile and Nicky said "How is Tove then?". I said "Well Jensen grandma has died so he and Tove are in Texas for the funeral but other then that she is good.". He said "Oh my god, tell Jensen that I'm sorry for his loss." I said "Sure I'll do that, he will be happy for that. They are coming home on wednesday so we are all happy for that.". He said "I can understadn that, you must miss tove a lot." I nodded adn said "Yeah I do, so much so I'm very happy that she is coming home on wednesday.". we talked for a while longer and when we hung up Jared said "They are coming home on wednesday?". I nodded and said "Yeah, sorry I forgot to tell you but Tove snet me a text around lunch time.". He smiled and kissed me and said "It's okay, I still love you." I smiled and said "How many times have you told me that today? It feels like I'm the one who should tell you that all the time to prove it. Not that I don't love to hear those words.". He smiled and said "I love to tell you that because it's how I feel and you don't have to prove your love for me becuase after today I know that you love me. I'm glad because I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!". I laughed and said "Yeah I do really love you Jared padalecki." then I kissed him and he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me down ontop of him and kissed me even more. I laughed and then we stopped kissing and i justed laid there ontop of him and listened to his heartbeat and he whispered "I love you.". I smiled and whispered "I love you too." and after a while he said "Can't we be together then? I want to call you my girlfriend...". I looked up at his face and stroke his cheek adn said "I know and I want to call you my boyfriend but I don't know if it's such a good idea... We said we were going to take it slow...". He said "I know but I'm tired of taking it slow. I want to scream it out from the rooftops that you are mine.". I said "I know Jare but just a while longer? Please?". He sighed and nodded and said "Just because it's you so okay." I smiled and kissed him and siad "Thank you, I love you." he smiled and said "I love you too.". Then we just laid there watching tv and when the clock started to get close to midnight we got undressed and went to bed and Jared satrted to read and I started to blog and here I am but now I'm going to lay down on Jareds bare chest and fall asleep in his strong safe arms. Nightie!!!

Take care
Love
Madde