Home, lovely home.

Heya!

Well now I'm actually blogging from my bed at home and one of the most amazing men in the world is lying next to me stroking my back. He hasn't been able to take his hands off me today and I can't really say that I haven't like it, I've loved it :D ahaha but let's take it all from the begining shall we.

When I woke up this morning Tove was already up and the sun was shining through the window and straight in my face. I really hate to wake up to that so I made a complaining noice and pulled the covers over my head and buried my face in the pillow until I couldn't breath anymore. Tove just laughed and then I sighed and got up and gave her a hug and said "Good morning honey, I love you.". She smiled and hugged me back adn said "Good morning, I love you too." I smiled and said "You look happy. is it because we are going home today?". She laughed and said "Is it that obvious?" I nodded and said "Yeah but I'm happy about going home too.". She smiled and then I walked into the bathroom, took a shower and fixed myself up becuase I looked like a ghost. When I was done Tove was of course talking with Jensen on the phone so I sat down and waited for them to finish their conversation. then all of the sudden my phone rang so I picked it up and it was Vic on the other end. i said "hello sexy." he laughed and said "Hey there, how are you?". I smiled and said "I'm good, you?" he siad "That's good, I'm good too... So are we going to meet today?". Isaid "Yeah we are but tove's on the phone right now and we haven't eaten breakfast yet so what about we meet around 1 o'clock?". He said "That sounds great! So what should we do? eat lunch and just hang out or what?". I smiled and looked at tove so I would get her attention and asked if lunch and hanging out sounded good and she nodded so I said "Lunch and hanging out sounds perfect.". Then Tove hung up so I told Vic to come to the hotel around 1 and then we could walk from here to a good restaurant and eat and then we hung up. Before i had gotten up from the bed tove said "And don't flirt with him or kiss him or whatever. think about jared for once.". I sighed and said "I won't, okay?!" she just shook her head and said "promise me you won't.". Once again I sighed and said "Yes fine, I promise. can we go and eat now?". She nodded and we walked out to the hallway and tove walked straight into the elevator but I just stared at her and said "Are you nuts!? You are not getting me into that fucking elevator!". She sighd and said "Oh come on madde! It's just an elevator, what can happen?!" I said "The wires can break and then we get crushed and die! I'm not going in the elevator!". She shook her head and said "Fine! we walk!" so she got out of the elevator and we turned our steps to the stairs and walked down. I asked "What's up with the sudden feeling of taking the elevator? we haven't done that even onc during our time here.". She sighed and said "Because it takes so long to walk down the stairs and my back is hurting.". I siad "Oh buhu for you but I'm not getting into an elevator which will turn out to be a death trap.". She sighed and shook her head and soon we were standing in the lobby and walked over to the restaurant to eat.

I don't know how I will survive without my hotl breakfast now when we are going home... I want to tak all of this home with me or I can try and convince Jared to make alot of breakfast but I don't think he will do that and especially not now when Jensen is saying that he shouldn't spolie me. i hate jensen! anyway when we had gotten all our food we sat down around a table next to a window. We didn't talk so much but then Tove asked "So are you going to nicky when we get home?". I said "yeah I think so... Gotta tell him that i'm home and well and then I have to give him his gift.". She nodded and said "And when are you going to hime?" I shrugged and said "Maybe I should do that first of all beucase then I can spend all my time later with jared.". She smiled and nodded and said "Sounds like a good idea, it's Jared and Jensen who is going to pick us up so you can just tell them to drop you off at nickys then. But maybe you should tell Jared about why you want to go to nikcy first.". I nodded and said "yeah I was planing to. Just hope Jared won't mind.". She put her hand on mine which was resting on the table and she siad "I don't think you have to worry about that, just don't do anything stupid.". I said "I won't, I promise..". She nodded and said "Good. Ehm... can I ask you something?" I nodded and she said "Are you sure that you are doing the right thing to be with Jared?". I wrinkled my forhead and looked at her and said "What do you mean?" she said carefully "Are you sure you should be together with him when you still love nicky so much? I mean, you have said that you don't want to hurt him but maybe you are eventhough he says different.". I said "I love Jared so much too and I can't lose him too... I've laready lost nicky and I know that I would never be able to liv through losing jared as well. I'm trying so bad to just be friend with Nicky and according to me I'm doing pretty good even though it's hard.". She nodded and said "I know... but don't you think it's unfair to jared?" I sighed and said "where is this comign from?". She said "i'm just worried about you and jared, I love you both and I hate to see you two hurt.". i said "i know and we love you but we are okay. I'm actually happy now, as happy as I can be because of the circumstances. And Jared is happy too, or atleast I thinks so, or am I wrong?". She said "I know you are and that makes me happy but then you see nicky and zara together and you aren't happy anymore. Sure he is happy when you are around him becuase he loves you so much.". I said "I can't control that and wouldn't you be upset if you saw someone else with jensen if you weren't a couple but you loved him?". She sighed and said "of course I would, no doubt about it and I know that it must be hard for you too see them together or hear about it but you have to try and control it, if not for you do it for Jared.". I nodded and said "there you go and I am trying the best I can and some days are easier to get through then others but like I said, I'm doing the best I know how. I'd do anything for Jared, i can't lose him.". She nodded and then all of the sudden we heard a voice not far from us say "Madde? Tove?" and the voice was almost like music to my ears in a way becuase I haven't heard his voice in months. I turned my head around and looked straight into his amazing deep brown eyes and said "Oh my God!". I got up and wrapped my arms around his neck and I couldn't stop smiling. he hugged me back and then he hugged Tove and I asked "What are you doing here johnny?". he smiled and joined us at the table and said "Well I'm in paris to shoot a movie and then I walked by just outside and I saw you guys in here so i just had to come and say hi.". I smiled and took his hand and squeezed it, he smiled and i said "God! it's so good to see you again!". He said "And it's so good to see you again too. I've missed you alot.". I smiled and said "I've missed you alot too." then he asked "So how things back in Sweden then?". Tove said "It's kind of good after everything that has happened." he nodded and said "Yeah I heard that alot had happened, so how's things going with the guys then? Got someone new?". Both me and tove smiled by the thought of the men we love and i said "Well Jared and I are getting closer and closer for everyday and nicky and I are just friends and as you know, tove is getting married.". He laughed and said "I know she is getting married. Congrats, btw. Well it's good to hear that you and Jared are hitting it off again, I know that he really loves you alot.". tove just mumbled "thank you" and I said "eyah and I love him so much too.". He smiled and said "So you are over nicky completely?" I stopped smiling and bit my lip and looked down on the table and said "No.. not yet. I trying the best I can and it's going in th right direction but I still have deep feelings for him and I've never been this in love with a guy before so the feelings won't just go away after a few weeks.". He nodded and said "I understand that it must be hard. I know how it was to try and fall out of love with you.". I was so totally not expacting that to come and neither was tove so we just stared at him and tove said "i tought you had fallen out of love with madde a long while before you guys broke up in march.". He shook his head and said "i still loved you madde, so much. But being away from you for like 7 months has made my feelings cool off so.". I stared at him and said "You did?" and tove said "If you did you sure had no idea how to show it! Nicky was the one who was there for Madde at that point and not her boyfriends.". he sighed and said "I know and I rally regret that insted of being there for you I backed away.". I said "Why the hell did you back away when I needed you?!" he shrugged and said "i don't know, i'm sorry madde. I really am. Please forgive me.". I tought for a while but then I did the mistake of looking into his beautiful eyes adn I said "I forgive you.". Tove just stared at me and Johnny looked really happy and kissed my cheek and said "Thank you.". Then Tove said "madde we have to go if we are going to pack alittle before Vic comes here.". I nodded and we hugged Johnny and said goodbye and he left and we went upstairs to pack some things before Vic showed up.

Of course Tove didn't have time to pack so much because she is so fucking slow but I on the other hand was done with my packing after like an hour. Then we heard a knock on the door so I told tove to continue packing and then I went to open the door and there was our sexy Frenchman. I smiled and agve him a hug and told him to come in which he did and gave tove a hug and then we told her to stop packing and we went downstairs and out on the street to find ourselfs a good restaurant to eat in. We went to Restaurant L'Arôme which is Vics favourite restaurant and we ordered our food and we had a really good time. I couldn't help but flirt alittle and he actually flirted back which was really funny. Then he asked "So when will you guys be coming back to paris then?". Both of us shrugged and I said "I don't know, some day. But you can always stop by when you come to sweden next time.". he smiled and said "I promise you that I'll do that." I smiled and gave him a hot look which he replyed and then he said "So when are you guys leaveing?". Tove said "Our flight leaves at 4 so." he nodded and I said "And tove hasn't packed everything yet so we have to get back to the hotel in like an hour or so.". He sighed and siad "How slow are you?" Tove just mumbled and I laughed and said "She holds the world record of being slow at both packing at getting ready in the morning or if we are going out.". He laughed and Tove siad "Not!!" I stared at her and said "Whta!? Ypou know very well that you are the slowest person alive today!". She just shook her head and said "No!" and I put a hand on vics shoulder and said "Don't listen to her, she is just embarrassed becuase it's true.". He laughed and then we started to tlak about everything else and we had a lot of fun and a great time. I'm really going to miss Vic, he is a great guy, sexy and very very perfect for me :P hahhaha

After about an hour and a half we walked back to the hotel where we hugged Vic goodbye and promised we would call each other some day. After that we went upstairs and tove conitnued to pack while I called Jared and told him that we would be home in about 6 hours. he got really happy and said that he and jensen couldn't wait. I just smiled and we conitnued to talk for about an hour but then we said goodbye and tove and I took a taxi to the airport and I was starting to get really nervous because of the flight. ANyway after checking in our luggage we sat down in the terminal and talked and I was so fucking nervous and scared. And when we heard that our flight was there and that we could board Tove just got up and began to walk over there but then she noticed that I hadn't moved and inch from my seat she came back and took my hand and said "Everything will be okay, come on. Jared and Jensen... and nicky is waiting for us.". I nodded and said "You're right but I'm just so nervous.". She nodded and we walked over to the plane but I stopped right outside it and did as Jared always do before he boards a plane, I kissed my finger and touched the ceiling. Tove just smiled and I said "What, I have to do that! it's for good luck!". She just conitnued to smile and then we sat down on our seats and I was sooooo scared during the take off that I squeezed the armrest as hard as I could and during the whole flight I never let go of it. Of course tove fell asleep and I tried to wake her up but it wasn't possible so I just sat there and tried to calm myself down even thought it was not possible. But when we were just about 15 minutes from landing Tove finally woke up so I hit her hard on her arm and she said "OW! what!?". I said "You fell asleep!!! you promisded me you wouldn't!!". She said "I'm sorry but I couldn't keep my eyes open. why didn't you wake me?". I stared at her and I felt my voice raise and I said "Wake you!? Wake you!? What the fuck do you think I have been trying to do?!b are you stupid or something!?". Then a flight attendant put a hand on my shoulder and siad "Miss, calm down please.". I just stared at her and said "Get your fucking hand off of me or I'll cut it off!". She slowly removed her hand and tove siad "Calm down, I'm sorry that I fell asleep and that I didn't wake up.". I took a deep breath and then we heard a voice say to put our seatbelts on and that we were going to land.

When we felt the bump of the plane touch the ground I just smiled and took a calming breath and when we finally stopped I was like the first one out of my seat and I dragged tove with me out of the plane and when I felt the cold stockholm air touch my face I just smiled and then we went to wait for our luggage and after a few minutes we finally got our luggage and then we just smiled at each other and walked out to where everyone else was. I felt all the butterflies ín my stomach turn into big bats and then I saw Jared and Jensen stand right there and both me and Tove just dropped our bags and ran into their arms and hugged them. It felt so amazingly good to feel Jareds arms around me again and then I just tilted my head up and pressed my lips against his and he just swung me around while kissing me nad I was so happy to be home and to be with Jared. After like hugging and kissing for 5 minutes the four of us broke away from each other and i hugged jensen and tove hugged Jared. After that we just went to get our bags and went out to the parking lot and Jared just held out the car keys to me and I smiled and got in the driverseat of the mustang GT and smiled and Jared sat down in the passanger seat and tove and jensne in the back. I started to drive off home and then when we finally got there I remember that I was suppose to go to Nicky so I asked Jared to wait alittle in the car and then tove and Jensen left and I turned to Jared nad said "Is it okay if I go to Nicky for about an hour now?". I could tell that he didn't like it so I said "Becuase I tought it would be better to do it now then later because then I can be with you without interruption later tonight and what I remember I promised you something earlier today.". He smiled and said "Okay you go and then come back so we can hang out and so that I can show you how much I have truly missed you.". I smiled and kissed him adn then he left the car and I drove off to Nickys place.

When I got there I searched through my bag and found the little box with the cufflinks in. I put it in my pocket and walked over to the door adn knocked on it. After a while Emma opened the door and I smiled and said "Hey, is nicky home?" she nodded and then I heard running feet and then he was all of the sudden standing behind her. He had a huge smile on his face and I just couldn't do anything but smile back adn then emma went back to her room and Nicky just gave me a big hug and we didn't let go for a good while. He whispered "I've missed you." I smiled and said "I've missed you too. can we go upstairs or something and talk?". He nodded and took my hand and yelled into the livingroom that we were going upstairs and then we went into Nickys room. We sat down on the bed and he took my hand and said "Did you have a good weekend?". I nodded and said "Yeah we had a lot of fun and it felt like we were close again you know. But I missed you nad I missed Jared so much.". He nodded and stroke my cheek nad said "I'm glad to hear that." I smiled and said "Close your eyes.". He smiled and said "Why?" I just said "Just do it." so he closed his eyes and I picked out the box and siad "Put out your hands but keep your eyes closed.". He did as I said then I leaned closer and kissed his cheek and put the box in his hands and said "This is for everything you have done for me, for every time you have been there for me and for loving me when no one else did. I love you so much and you mean alot to me so this is acutally to little to give you because I can never repay you for everythign you've done for me.". He smiled and I said "Open your eyes." he did as I said and met my gaze and then he slowly looked down on his hands and saw the small black box. He looked up at me again and I said "Open it." he smiled and slowly opened it and saw the white gold with onyx and a diamond cufflinks. He just stared at them and didn't say anything for a great while. I said "Nicky, say something please.", he looked up and said "They are amazing, thank you so much Madde!". I smiled and siad "I'm glad you like them." he smiled and said "Like them? I love them! I will wear them as often as I can!". I smiled and then he kissed my cheek twise and then he picked up one of the cufflinks and looked at it and smiled. I had no idea he would be so happy about them but clearly he was and then he said "So if you give me these beautiful cufflinks, what did you get Jared?". I smiled and said "A white gold bracelet that will look amazing on him." he nodded and said "He must have missed you a lot during this weekend.". I nodded and said "Yeah he did... and I have to go back to him soon." he nodded and said "So... can we go out and take a ride on the bike tomorow?". I said "I don't know, maybe not tomorrow... I should be home with Jared. But maybe the day after or the day after that.". He nodded and said "I understadn, you know what... call me when you have time for me.". I sighed and said "Nicky... it's not that I don't have time for you, don't think that. I just have to be with Jared now when I've been away for a few days.". He nodded and squeezed my hadn and said "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like that.. I understand. Don't worry.". I nodded and said "Good. Well I have to go but I'll call you okay?" he nodded and said "Sounds good.". Then we stood up and hugged again and he kissed my cheek adn then we walked downstairs again and we said goodbye and I drove home again.

When I got there I found Jared, Jensen and tove in the livingroom sofa watching tv and Jensne and tove was cuddeling like crazy and Jared looked so lonley there next to them. I just walked over to them nad sat down astraddle Jared and pressed my lips sgainst his and I opened my mouth alittle and his tognue found it's way to mine and it began to play with it. It felt so good and I ran my fingers through his hair and his hands found their way inside my top and stroke my back. God I have missed his hands and his lips and just all of him, I stopped kissing him nad stood up and reached out my hadn to him adn gave him a cheesy smile. He took it and then he just picked me up in his arms and we said goodnight to jensen and tove and then Jared carried me upstairs and laid me down on the bed and went to lock the door. I smiled and sat up and looked at him and then he turned around and gave me a smile and I smiled back and said "God I've missed you baby.". He walked over to me and stopped right infront of me and put a few fingers under my chin and tilted my head up and he siad "I've missed you too so much.". He gave me a soft kiss and then I said "Before we do anything I want to give you something.". He smiled and I patted the bed next to me so he sat down and I said "Close your eyes.". He did as I asked and I went over to my luggage and got the box with the bracelet in and then I walked back to the bed and sat down next to jared again. I told him to put out his hands which he did so I put the box in his hands and then I slowly pressed my lips against his and said "I love you Jared Padalecki and I am willing to try and take my heart back from Nicky and give it whole to you. If you are willing to give our relationship another shot I am too and I can't even describe how it feels in me when you touch me or tell me that you love me or are just there with me. I love you so and I just wanted you to know that. You can open your eyes now.". He slowly opened my eyes and said "I love you too adn I am willing to give it a shot and I can wait forever for you. You are the one person I love with all my heart and I can never love anyone else as much as I love you.". He kissed me and then I said "Your gift." he smiled and looked down on his hands and then he slowly opened the white small box and saw the bracelet. He drawed a breath and picked up the bracelet and looked closer at it and I just smiled and slowly took it from him, opened it and put it on his right wrist. He smiled and stroke it and then my hadn and then he pressed his lips against mine again and then he said "It's beautiful, I love it. It's so me.". I smiled and said "I'm glad you like it. I reminded me of you so I just had to buy it for you.". He smiled and said "It's just as beautiful as you are.". I smiled and said "You are so sweet." then he asked what nicky got and I said "A pair of cufflinks. would you rather want them?". He shook his head and said "No not in a million years!" I smiled and kissed him and pushed him down on the back and got ontop of him and conitnued to kiss him and between the kisses I said "Good!". I continued to kiss him while his hands stroke my back and then he took a hold of my top and pulled it over my head and threw it on the floor. My heart was beating like crazy and it felt so nice to b this close to Jared again. I began to undo his shirt from the bottom up and for very time I undid a button I kissed his abs and he just laid there with a smile on his face. When I finally had undone all buttons I began to kiss his lips again and my tognue played with his and then he sat us up and I pulled the shirt over his sexy shoulders and threw it across the room so it got stuck on the shelf. I pushed him down again and kissed his neck, chest, abs and then I began to udo his jeans while kissing his sexy abs. When I finally got them off I took his boxers off too and stroke his thighs up to his beast and took it in my hand and began to move. Jared closed his eyes and began to breath more shallow and then I bent down and put it in my mouth and started to lick around the top and he began to moan quietly. I began to move alittle faster and stroke my hand up and down his thigh which helped alot since his beast grew fast between my lips. When he began to moan louder and louder I took it out and used my hand insted and then all of the sudden he took a hold of my arm and pulled me up to his face. I smiled and he kissed me and I said "Not good enough?" he laughed and rolled us around and said "You mean to good, I need to be inside of you.". I smiled and he kissed my neck, collor bone, between my boobs, down my stomach and then he began to undo my pants and take them off. He pulled down my panties and threw them so they got stuck on the mirror and then he put his hands on my knees and he firmly spread my legs and kissed my left thigh higher and higher and he stroke my right thigh just as high and it felt so good. I closed my eyes and felt hos his hand moved even higher and began to caress my boob and play with my nipple and it was so nice. He began to kiss my down town and then he used his tognue and it was so good! I moaned loudly and breathed really shallow and and did just the ting I love and I moaned even louder. then he stopped using his tognue and put a few fingers in me and started to move and he kissed my lips and I ran my fingers through his hair and I was getting so worked up that I just wanted him in me. I kissed him with more eager and more passion and lust then ever and he ran his other hand over my body and then I moaned "Get in me!". He smiled and took his fingers out and kissed me and sat us up and I looked him deep in the eyes and slowly sat down on his dick and felt it press inside of me. I kissed him and he wrapped his arms around my body and held me close and I began to move really slow and felt how it moved in me and I enjoyed every inch it moved. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed my neck and shoulder and it was sooo nice. I continued to move and began to kiss his neck too and I took a hold of his earlobe between my teeth and pressed my body down and felt how his beast pressed deeper into me and I moaned in his ear. He smiled and laid us down on the bed and took over and began to move alittle faster but still kind of slow and deep and it was so good. He moaned and breathed heavily but he had a smile on his face and I ran my fingers through his hair, over his sexy back adn squeezed his perfect bum. then suddenly he totally hit the right spot which made me moan really load and he started to go faster and faster and I stroke his hard arms and over his back again and it felt so amazingly good!! He leaned down and kissed me and then he started to go even faster and we both moaned loudly and breathed really shallow and I felt how close i was so I took a hold of the pillow next to me and squeezed it and moaned loudly "YES! YES!". Then he moved even faster and with short shocks and I felt hos I got all warm down there and all my muscles began to tense up and then i came and it was sooo good. I screamed out with pleasure and he moved as fast as he could which made the orgasm so much better and then he tensed up as well and came inside of me with a loud moan. Then he took it out and laid down next to me nad I rested my head on his sweaty, steaming chest and stroke my hand over it. He kissed my head and said "I've missed you so much." I smiled and kissed his chest and said "I've missed you too and I love you jared.". he wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tight which sent chills down my spine and said "i love you too baby.". Then we just laid there without talking or doing anything and it was so nice to just be there with him. I stroke my fingers over the bracelet I gave him and I was so right, he looked amazing in it. after a while I desided to blog so here I am now and he is lying here stroking my back. :)

You are probobly wondering about the other gifts and all that, well... tove will tell you tomorrow about that because we didn't rally have time to give eveyone their gifts today so they'll get it tomorrow. And Jared ad Jensen will get their little sex shop surprise tomorrow too so Tove will tell you more about that then ;)

Now i'm going fall asleep on Jareds chest which i ahve missed to do all weekend. nightie!!

Take care
Love
Madde