Slow...

Heya!

Well, today I have finally started to relax alittle when it comes to toves cancer because now we know for sure that it's gone.., eventhough it might pop up again in the future but let's hope it won't and let's stay possitive about that now.

Today has been pretty slow actually but I've hung out with my friends and I love that. :P

This morning I woke up on Jareds chest with a smile on my face and I took a pleased breath and kissed his chest. He moved slightly and I felt his lips press against my head and then he whispered "You awake?". I smiled and tilted my head up and looked at him and put myhand on his cheek and said "Yes I am. Good morning gorgeous.". He smiled and kissed my nose and said "Good morning beautiful." I smiled and put my head back on his chest and ran my hand over his stomach and felt his amazing abs under my hand. I don't know how long we were lying there but then we heard a knock on the door and Jared said "come in" and then Zara peeked in. I smiled and sat up slightly and she said "Sorry if i'm interrupting." I shook my head and said "It's okay, come on in. What's up?". She smiled and closed the door behind her and sat down on the bed and Jared said "You girls want some time alone to talk?". But Zara shook her head and said "nah you can stay Jared... I was just going to ask if we were going to the tailor today.. what was his name?". I smiled and said "Tony! yeah we are. We have to bring tove with us too because I got a call lastnight that the dresses are finished so we have to go there and check them out and try them on.". She smiled and clapped hr hands with excitment and said "Yay!" and Jared laughed and said "If you are going to see those dresses I want to see it too and I bet jensen wants to see tove.". I stared at him and said "Jensen can not see tove in her dress untill the wedding!!" he got a bit shocked but then he bursted out laughing and said "okay, okay, calm down woman.". Zara laughed and said "Madde takes this wedding pretty seriously don't you think Jared.". He laughed and nodded and i said "Yeah well someone has too! It's going to be the most beautiful wedding ever, I'll make sure of it!". Then Jared said "But if you make their wedding the best wedding ever then ours isn't going to be the most perfect one ever.". Then zara just stared at us with huge eyes and she said louly "You're getting married!!!!!!!". We both looked at her and she was truly in shock and I laughed and said "no, not yet anyway and probobly not in the first couple of months.". She calmed down alittle and said "Gosh! You really shocked my there, but you are talking about it?". I shurgged and Jared said "I have just asked if she ever would want to get married that is like it. I'm not planing to propose to her yet but someday I might.". I smiled and gave him a kiss and zara said "Wow, well good for you.". She looked down on the bed and didn't say anything more so I put a hand on hers and siad "I'm really sorry that I broke up your and Nickys engagement...". She looked up into my eyes and nodded and said "i know, but it was not just your fault...". I said "I know, but still... I was so jealous of you, you have no idea." she said "Yeah well right back at you.". I gave her a trying smile and she smiled back so I knew we were okay again and then she said "Well I'm going over to sara and niklas now but pick me and sara up later... Around what time do you think?". I smiled and said "Sounds good, Tove and I will come and pick you guys up around 3 if that's okay?". She smiled and nodded and gave me a hug and left. I smiled and sighed and looked at Jared who had a gorgeous smile on his face, he said "It's good to see the two of you as friends again.". I smiled and said "it feels good too." he smiled and leaned in and opened his mouth slightly and i leaned closer as well and put my hand on his flexed upperarm and kissed him. I can't descreibe the feeling I get when i feel his lips press against mine with all the love in the world. I almost feel guilty to be so happy when I've caused so many people so much pain this year and to be happy then just feels wrong, I don't deserve it. Somehow Jared must have felt that something was wrong and on my mind because he broke from the kiss and looked at me and said "Everything okay?". I didn't say anything and then he bruched some hair away from my face and said "You can tell me baby, I'm here for you and I want you to tell me anything.". I nodded and tld him that i felt guilty and he siad "Well, I can see why you do but I know that eventhough you've hurt so many this year they still want you to be happy and if they don't I will kick their asses.". I smiled and said "Thank you, you are more then I deserve and especially after me kissing Nicky again..". He shook his head and said "I don't care if you think that you don't derserve me becuase I'm not leaveing you and you just made a mistake and I don't blame you.". I shook my head and stroke his arm and said "I wich I could explain to you how I feel right now..". he stroke my cheek and said "I think I know." I smiled and kissed him again and then he said "Come on, let's go downstairs for some breakfast.". I smiled and got out of bed and so did he but he put on some clothes eventough i don't think anyone would mind him just walking around in his boxers. I didn't really feel like putting anything more on so I just followed Jared downstairs in my panties and a white top.

When we got downstairs we met johan, krisen, johanna and Dennis in the kitchen. Dennis stared alittle at me and I gave him a smile and said "Hi Dennis." he smiled and said "Good to see you again Madde.". I smiled and took a closer look at him and he looked so sexy in his uniform and I said "You guys are going to work?". krisen nodded and said "yeah, i just had to come home to fix somthing but then we desided to eat some lunch as well.". i nodded and then i walked over to dennis and said "Okay, I have to give you a hug.". he smiled and stood up and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me and he smelled really good. When we broke from the hug he said "And why did you need to do that?", I smiled and said "Because i haven't seen you in a great while and i remember that I promised you something a very long time ago and I'm realyl sorry.". He shrugged and stroke my cheek and said "it's okay, I understand and I forgive you. You have a lot on your mind but i hope we can still be friends.". I smiled and siad "I wouldn't want to have it any other way." adn then Johanna said "Hang on!". I interrupter her and said "johanna! you are a master at putting your nose where it doesn't belong!". She gave me a cheeky smile and said "You two have been involved somehow.". I sighed and Krisen just shoot me an angry look and I said "Yes we have, happy now?". johanna smiled and said "Why do the alexandersson girls + you always get the hot guys? Are you still sleeping with that other cop, pontus?". I shook my head and said "because we see what we want and we go for it. no I'm not, but we are still good friends and i met him just a few days ago.". She nodded and said "He is a very sexy man..." I laughed and said "yeah he is, trust me.". She laughed and I turned to Jared and stroke his back and grabbed a hold of his ass and said "but no one is sexier then Jared.". he laughed and blushed alittle and I kissed his cheek and slapped his fit ass and he said "Well can you, my love, help me with breakfast.". I stared at him in shock and said "You want ME to help YOU with breakfast!?" he smiled and said "Yes my dear.". and Krisen said "Told you not to spolie her.". I shoot her an angry gaze and gave jared a smile and siad "I would love yo help you wiht that.". He smiled and kissed me and we began to make breakfast while the others continued to eat and talk around the table. When we finally were done with making our breakfast we joiend them but then tove and jensen walked in and tove came over and gave me a hug and I really love that new little ritual that we have. It means alot to me and I know that she loves me and I hope that she knows that i love her too. Then I said to tove "We are going to pick sara and zara up at 3 to go and try on the dresses at tonys.". She satred at me and krisen said "They're done?" I smiled and said "Yeah, I got a call from tony last night and he said that all the dresses are finished but that we have to go over there and try them on now so that if something is wrong then he has time to fix it before the wedding.". Tove said "But I don't want to!" and I said "I don't care if you don't want to, you are comeing with whether you like it or not.". She sighed and Jared kissed my cheek and said "My little dictator.". I just gave him a glare and turned back to my breakfast.

After breakfast I went upstairs to take a shower and get dressed. When I got out from the shower i found Jared sitting on the bed and he looked at me and said "Can I come over and see you in your dress then?". I smiled and said "I don't know if that is such a good idea, don't you want it to be a surprise?". He nodded and said "i suppose you're right." I laughed and ran my fingers through his hair and said "i'm always right.". he laughed and I went into the wardrobe and put some clothes on and then I came back and he was still sitting on the bed. I smiled and walked over to him and tilted his head up alittle and kissed him and asked what he was going to do all day adn he said "Dunno, go into town with jensen maybe...". I nodded nad kissed him again and then I took his hand and we walked downstairs and joined jensen, johan and johanna in the livingroom sofa. i asked where tove was and jensne just laughed and said "Do yuo really need to ask? You just told her that she has 2 hours to get ready on so she ran upstairs to take a shower and stuff.". I sighed and shook my head and then I remembered somthing and said "Btw johanna, you're welcome to jensen and toves wedding if you want to come.". She smiled and said "Thank you so much!! I would love to come!" I smiled and then jensen laughed and said "I love it that you just go and ask people to come to our wedding without even asking us first.". I smiled and said "Yeah well, I am you're wedding planer so it's my job." everyone started to laugh but i didn't care, I just cuddled up closer to jared who stroke my arm slowly. Then he siad "geez, you are cuddely today, what's up?". I looked up at his face and said "Don't you like it?" he smiled and ran his indexfinger over my jawline and siad "Yes I do.". I smiled and said "I just love you so and right here and now, I'm happy.". He smiled and kissed me and then I looked at johan who had a huge smile on his face. I said "why so happy Johan?" and he said "i'm just glad to see you happy again. It's been hard to see you so down for such a long time now but now... now you're happy, you're glowing.". I smiled and kissed Jareds arm and said "thank you Johan and thank you so much for being there for me when i needed it. Like that night, with the full moon if you remember.". He nodded and said "i didn't do anything." I let go of Jareds arm and sat up alittle and said "Yes you did, you comforted me when I had no one, you told me exacly what I needed to hear so yes, you did something.".He smiled and I got up and so did he and I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a big hug. he stroke my hair and said "that was nothing, I'm here for you if you need me.". I smiled and said "i know Johan." then I kissed his cheek and we sat back down again on the sofa. Jared stroke my back and I smiled and kissed him and then we just sat there talking and waiting for tove to come down.

After a while she finally walked down the stairs so we got dressed, kissed our men and went into the garage and took the mustang and drove off. When we got to niklas and sara niklas opened the door and told us to come in. I just got a wierd feeling so I wrapped my arms around his neck and said "i love you niklas!". he got really shocked but then he smiled and hugged me back and said "I love you too little sis, so much!". I smiled and he kissed my forehead and then he stroke my cheek and I felt tears building up in my eyes which is just crazy becuase i don't even know why I suddenly felt like crying. He smiled and said "Are you okay Madde?" I nodded and took a deep breatha dn said "Sorry, I don't know what flew in me. I just love you Niklas.". He smiled and hugged me again and said "i love you too, you are so sweet honey.". Then he gave tove a hug too and we sat down in the kitchen and waited for sara and zara. After a while they came into the kitchen as well and we said goodbye to niklas and got in the car and drove over to tonys. When we got there we found tony and gustav in the back of the store and they gave all of us a hug each and then we sat down and talked about the dresses and tony sent gustav to go and get toves dress so we could see it first without tove in it. i can just say that it looked amazing and then we told tove to try it on but she refused. I don't get it!! Anyway after alot of persuasion and threats we finally got her into it and she looked so amazing it was just crazy!! Then we heard the front door open and Jareds voice ask "Where are you?". I ran out from the back and found him in the middle of the store. I asked "What are you doing here?!" he laughed and walked over to me and swoop me in his arms and said "i couldn't stay away from you.". i smiled and kissed him and said "Fine, come on." and took his hand and dragged him to the back where sara, zara, tony and gustav was still inspecting tove. When Jared saw her he stopped and said "WOW!!! OH MY GOD, you look amazing Tove!!". I smiled and Tove just stuck her tognue out to him but I said "She does, doesn't she?" he nodded but didn't take his eyes off her which made me alittle cranky so I elbowed him in the side and said "Hey, I'm here.". He looked at me and smiled and said "Sorry, but she looks great and Jensen is going to die!!". I smiled and said "I know!" but then tove said "And you plus every other guy is going to die when you see madde...". I smiled and then Gustav walked over to us and held out his hand to Jared who took it and shook it and gustav said "nice to meet you jared, I'm gustav.". I smiled and Jared said "Oh really, well nice to finally meet you man.". Gustav was like glowing with happiness but then tony said "Okay, the braidesmaids turns.". I smiled, gave jared a kiss and ran into the fitting cubicle and put the dress on. First sara walked out and showed off and I could hear tove and jared draw for their breath, then it was zara and I heard the same sound from them this time and then it was me and I looked fabulous in my dress. I slowly walked out to my friends and as soon as jared saw me his jaw just dropped and it looked like his eyeballs were going to pop out of their sockets. I smiled and he backed a few stepps and sat down on a chair and just stared at me and I spunn around and then I said "So jared, what do you think?". he just shook his head and said "There aren't words...". I smiled and walked over to him and spun around again and he took a hold of my arm and stood up and said "I have died and gone to heaven.". I smiled and he looked so happy and I took his head between my hands and kissed him and he smiled and Tove said "Go and change before Jared dies.". I laughed and went back and changed clothes and when I came back they were all standing there talking with tony and gustav. I walked over to Jared who wrapped his arms around me and then he siad to tony "Thank you for giving her such a gorgeous dress.". He smiled and said "my pleasure.". We talked for a while longer but then it was time for us to head home again because it was soon dinner so we hugged tony adn gustav goodbye and drove back to sara and niklas place to drop sara off and then we drove to nickys to drop zara off and then we drove home.

When we got home we joined the family around the table and johanna asked how the dresses looked and Jared said "AMAZING!!". I smiled and squeezed his arm and krisen said "You've seen them?" he nodded and said "Yeah, I sneaked over there and saw them and everyone looked so fucking amazing, it was crazy! And Jensen, you are going to die when tove walked down that aisle.". Jensen just smiled and Krisen said "And how did Maddes dress look?" and Jared didn't say anything, he just looked at me and smiled and took a deep breath. I smiled and tove said "She looked great! Jared almost fainted.". Jared just smiled nad stroke my cheek and then Johan said "I bet.". and everyone just looked at him and it was like he didn't even notice that he said it out loud becuase he just sat there looking down on his food and conituned to eat. I laughed and said "Thank you johan" and he looked up at me and he looked really confused and then he siad "Well, you must have looked great.". I smiled and Jared said "Well she did." i kissed his lips and then we continued to eat and talk and just had a good time. After dinner I went upstairs to just relax for a while and be alone but then my phone rang so I picked it up and Kellan said "Hey Madde.". I smiled and siad "Heya! how are you sexy?" he laughed and said "I'm just fine, how are you then beautiful?". I smiled and said "I'm just fine thank you. What are you doing then?". He said "Not much, right now I'm on set with Rob and Pete and everyone else." I smiled and said "Well in that case, send them my love and do a prank on them from me.". He laughed and said "I'll do that. So what are you doing?" I smiled and said "Good. Right now I'm just relaxing, have been trying on the dress for the wedding today and tove tried on her wedding gown, she looked beautiful.". He said "Nice, I bet both of you looked amazing and since you are the one pulling the strings on the wedding it has to be good.". I smiled and said "Thank you, yeah well... I will not be satisfied unless it's not perfect.". He laughed and said "I know. Tove is lucky to have a friend like you to fix her wedding.". i smiled and said "thank you Kellan, that ment alot. I just wish she could be happy too but she isn't..". He sighed and siad "Yeah well that's tove I guess..." I sighed and nodded and said "Yeah... But anyway, you are coming right? And Pete and Rob and maybe somone else, bring a date.". He laughed and said "We wouldn't miss it for the world and I'll think about the date thing but I promis to get back to you about it.". I smiled and said "great! Okay you do that and tell pete and rob to give me a call if they want to bring someone.". He laughed and said "I'll do that." then we talked about some other stuff and after a while I heard a knock on my door so I said come in and Jared joined me on the bed. He kissed my cheek while I talked and stroke my thigh and after a while I told Kellan that I had to go and he siad "okay. Don't be a stranger okay? Miss you Madde. Bye.". I smiled and said "Well right back at you sexy. I miss you too. bye.". Then we hung up and Jared asked who i was on the phone with and I told him. Then he asked if I wanted to watch a movie with him and tove and Jensen so we went to tove and jensens room and cuddled down in bed with them and watched X-men origins: Wolverine. It was really good and it's a lot of pretty goodlooking guys with alot of mucles in it so me and tove liked it :P ahhaha

After that movie we watched a few more but then it was time for bed so Jared and I said good night and went to our room where we are now, Jared is playing a game on his phone and I'm blogging but I'm going to wrap this up now and cuddle up with him and fall asleep in his arms. Nightie!!

Take care
Love
Madde