Friends

Heya!

Well... I don't even know what to say right now... everything with maja is just crap right now becuase I don't know if I'm starting to lose hope but it feels like it becuase I have never and will never have faith in the social workers... I know how they work and do things... they come hme to the kids that gets beaten when the kid isn't home and they talk to the parents and of course they just say that everything is just fine and that the kids bruises come from a fall or whatever and then when they leave and the kid comes back home he or she will be beaten to death because of the fact that they had the guts to tell someone about the beating...And I don't know what eddie would do if that happened therefor I would rather see that he hends up in jail becuase of something else first because then it's easier to catch him for child abuse. I wouldn't mind to put myself on the line here and let him come close to me because if that means that my baby sis will be okay then so be it. He only has to get closer to me then 50 meters and I doubt that that will be so hard. And then we can have Pontus and krisen near by so that they can catch him red handed and then the social workers can talk to majas muma nd get the facts straight and everything... And then hopefully he will get an even longer sentence for child abuse. But what do I know... the thing I know is that probobly everyone I know will think that it's a bad idea but if you guys have any other idea then please tell me... We really need help and if we don't get a better option then this then this is what I will do...

Anyway let's talk about today isted...

This morning I woke up with my arms around the most beautiful woman in the world, my beloved girlfriend Zara. I can't believe that we ended up feeling like this for each other after hateing each other for a whole year. Anyway I smiled when I felt her move next to me and I kissed her head and she slowly tilted her head up and looked at me through tired eyes and I smiled and said "Good morning angel.". She smiled and touched my cheek and said "Good morning to you too sexy.". I gave her a soft kiss and then she put her head back on my shoulder and slowly stroke my stomach with her fingers. Then I said "Honey... is it okay if I hang out with Jared today?". She looked at me and said "You don't need to ask for my permission to hang out with him.". I said "I just wanted to be sure.. I don't want to hurt you..", she sat up and said "Well.. you weren't thinking of doing anything that would hurt me?". i quickly sat up and took her hand and said "Of course not! I never want to hurt you again. I love you honey and I wouldn't do anything with him... we are just friends... he's even started to date again.". She said "Good, I love you too.oh.. really? well are you okay with him dating again?". I nodded and said "Yeah I'm happy that he is moveing on. I don't want him to dwell over the past... I kind of blame myself for makeing him hold on for so long because I couldn't make up my mind of who I wanted to be with...". She said "I'm gald to hear that but I doubt that he is blaming you... i know he loves you and I surtenly don't blame him so I doubt that he even cares if you had a hard time to deside because at least he got to be with you.". I said "Yeah maybe but still I hate that i coused him so much pain and you for that matter... I suppose you were right that day a few months ago, I always hurt everyone.". She said "Baby, I didn't mean that...", I put my hand up to interrupt her and said "Yes you did... I don't blame you because it's true. I hurt you, I hurt Jared, I hurt Tove, I hurt nicky, I hurt your kids... Alex, My, Tim, Jessica, mum... everyone.". She said "but we don't blame you anymore, you made it up to us, all of us.". I said "It doesn't matter... I still hate myself for it...". She said "You don't hurt us now..", I sighed and said "maybe not but still...". She stroke my cheek and took my hand and said "Can I ask you something?". I nodded and she said "Do you still love nicky? And you know how I mean... You won't hurt me, I promise.". My heart just dropped because I really didn't want to hurt her but I didn't want to lie to her either so I looked down on our hands and said "I'm sorry... I've never lied to you so I'm not going to start now so yes... I still love him in that way but I'm in love with you and together with you and that is what matters. I'm sorry baby.". She shook her head and said "It's okay. I kind of knew that you still loved him...But I'm so happy that you are honest with me and that it's me you are with. I love you so much.". I smiled and said "I love you too and I will always be honest with you.". she smiled and kissed me and then she said "So what should I do all day?", I said "well I bet your best friend kind of misses you. So hang out with sara today.". She said "Yeah, I should do that, thanks babe.". I smiled and nodded and she kissed me again and then all of the sudden we got interrupted by my phone ringing so I picked up and a very lovely voice that I've missed alot said "Hey beautiful! How are you?!". I smiled a huge smile and said "John!! Oh my god! Long time no see. I'm great! How are you?". He laughed and said "Yeah I know, it's crazy! That sounds fantastic, I'm just fine too. So what have you been up to lately?". I laughed and said "Gosh that is a heck of a long and very sad story my friend...". He said "Oh really? tell me all about honey.". I laughed and then zara said "I'm going to go and take a shower." I nodded and she left and then I said to john "Well... I fell in love... big time.". He said "Wow... but that is a good thing isn't it?". I said "No beucase I fell in love with forbidden fruit... Nicky Byrne... and he fell in love with me. We almost tore the whole family apart...". he said "Really? that's not good... what happened?". I sighed and said "Well he was together with Zara as he has been for the last 13 years and then I began to fall more and more for him and then I told him and all of the sudden he told me that he felt the same which made me very angry at first because I had had a big fight with tove about my feelings for Nicky and then she got mad as hell at him and that made me angry with her becuase i had to stand up for him when no one else did and that just broke me and tove apart even more.. And before that Tove got cancer again and that's when I turned to Nicky mostly and when I got feelings for him... And then even more shit happened and I moved away from home and ended up in my brothers apartment and then I moved back and i tired so hard to stop being in love with nicky and I tought I did but then I was stupid and kissed him and I hurt everyone I love again and then something really strange happened becuase I ended up in bed with Nickys ex girlfriend zara and we are a couple now..". John didn't say anything for a very long time and I said carefully "john? handsome? you okay?". He said "ehm... that is alot that has happened this year I hear... Wait... are you gay?!". I laughed and said "No.", then he said with a very confused voice "but you just said that you are together with a woman..". I said "Yeah..", he was quiet for a while and then he said "okay and how is that not gay?". I laughed and said "I know it's wierd, okay it's like this.. I only find zara attractive when it comes to women but I find a lot of men attractive.". He laughed and said "okay and that made total since.", I laughed and said "I know it's hard to udnerstand becuase Zara and I hardly understand it either but I love her and she loves me so..". He said "Well in that case i'm happy that you are happy.". I smiled and said "thanks John.. You know, I really miss you man.". He siad "Well I really miss you too honey.". After that we just talked about everything and nothing but then zara came out of the shower so we said that we would call each other some other day and then we said good bye and hung up.

I got dressed and then we went downstairs and went into the kitchen where we found Nicky, Shane, Gillian, Emma and Jocke. When we walked through the doorway Nicky smiled and said "Goodmorning guys. Lovely day isn't it?". I smiled back and said "Moring to you guys too. Well the day has barly started so I really shouldn't say anything becuase the last time I did that something really bad happened.". He said "Honey just becuase you were worng once doesn't mean you will be again..". I nodded and joined Zara who had began with breakfast and then we sat down at the table and then Shane said "Well.. last day huh..". I looked at him like a questionmark and said "What do you mean?". He said "We're flying home tomorrow...", I stared at him and then nicky and said "Did you know about this?". He nodded and I said "And you guys didn't tell me why?". Zara put a hand on mine but I pulled it away and said "Why didn't you guys tell me that you were going away?". Shane said "Honey... I'm sorry.. we have to. We told Nicky this last night becuase that's when we got a call from mum and dad and they said that they needed some help at the farm...". I said "but you have other brothers and sisters..", then everyone looked at me very suspicious and Nicky said "Honey what's going on? What's worng?". I shook my head and stood up and felt tears burn behind my eyelids and fear just washed up inside of me and I said "nothing, I just wish you would have told me sooner..". Then I turned around and went upstairs and went into mine and Zaras room and sat down on the bed and let the tears roll down my cheeks. just as I tought it didn't take long before it knocked on the door and Nicky peeked in and when he saw that I was crying he walked in and wrapped his arms around me and said "What wrong honey... tell me. This has nothing to do with shane leaving does it?". I shook my head nad said "alittle..", he stroke my cheek and said "Talk to me...". I sobbed and said "Tove got a call from henrik yesterday and he said that they had found something and that she has to go back for tests...". He said "Oh honey!" and hugged me even closer and I cried against his cheast and then he said "She'll be fine... everything will be fine.". I said "I don't know if I can go through all that again!". He took my face between his hands and looked me in the eyes and said "Yes you can! Don't talk like that. Think about Tove and zara and... and me... Don't put me in that possition again Madde.". I looked into his scared eyes and felt how angry I got with myself for hurting him so bad and I sadi "I'm sorry.. I would never do that to you again.". He said "good. I'll talk to Shane so that he knows it's not him you're angry with okay?". i nodded and said "thanks Nico... you're the best. I love you.". He kissed my forehead and said "I love you too honey.". Then he hugged me again and all of the sudden the door opened and zara said "Nicky do you mind if I take over?". He looked at me as if I was going to make the chiose so I nodded and he kissed my cheek and said "I'll talk to Shane.". I nodded and siad "Thank you.", he nodded back and then got out of the bed and walked out of the room. Zara walked over to me and stroke my salty cheek and said "What's wrong honey?". I told her and she sat down and took my hand and said "Everything's going to be fine.. ahng out with Jared today and try to forget about those bloody tests and then when it's time for her tot ake them I'll be there and so will nicky.". I nodded and she gave me a kiss and I said "I'm sorry for haveing the wierdest mood in the world.". She laughed slightly and said "Oh hun, Don't you worry about it, that is what makes you you.". I smiled and then it knocked on the door and Zara said come in so Shane peeked in and siad "Zara is it okay if i talk to Madde for a sec?". Zara nodded and kissed me and left and then Shane came over and sat down on the bed with me and said "I should have told you..". I shook my head and moved closer to him and he put his arms out so I could cuddle up with him and I said "No.. it's okay. I'm not angry with you Shane it's just that I'm scared..". He nodded and rested his head on mine nad said "I'm know, Nicky told me. I really have to go tomorrow but I'm always here for you if you need to talk and... and you know that Nicky would never leave you, especially not when you are scared and worried.". I hugged him alittle closer and said "I know, I love both you and Nicky, you are to good for me.". He kissed my head and siad "No, No one is to good for you, just to bad. You deserve the best people around us and we all are so happy that we are allowed to be around you and that you want us to be around you. We love you so much and you mean so much to each one of us.". I looked at him and said "Why do you irish men always know exacy what to say or do? You and Nicky are like masters at getting me to feel better.". He smiled and stroke my cheek and siad "We keep our eyes open and see what it is you need.". I shook my head and said "i'm going to miss you so much shay... Can't we just hang out tonight, watch a movie or something?". He smiled and said "I'm going to miss you so much too so of course I would love to hang out with you tonight.". I smiled and kissed his cheek and said "Thanks handsome. I love you.". He siad "I love you too beautiful.", then I looked at the clock and said "I should call Jared and hear if he is awake and see if I can come over.". He nodded, kissed my cheek and left and I picked up my phone and called Jared who told me to come over as soon as possible so I went downstairs and said goodbye to everyone and gave Zara a kiss and then I took the car to alexanderssons.

When I got there it was sooo quiet, not a word from anyone and the door wasn't even unlocked so I had to get the key and unlock and then I walked into the dark hallway and wondered for myself where everyone was. I got undressed and went upstairs to Jareds room since I knew he atleast was home so I knocked on the door and heard him say come in so i did and he was still in bed. I smiled adn said "Good morning sleepyhead.". He smiled back and said "Goor morning. how come you have started to wake up so early?". I shrugged and walked over to the bed and laid down next to him and he turned around and looked at me and said "I've missed seeing you lying there next to me in this bed.". I looked at him and smiled and said "Well I've missed this bed and I've missed you.". He smiled and said "Yeah this bed is pretty comfy isn't it?", I nodded and said "Yeah and it used to be mine... alot of things has happened in this bed.". He laughed and said "it sure has and I bet it hasn't always included me has it?". I shook my head na dsiad "nopp... alot of other people as well.". He said "Who? I mean I know about like Pontus, petter, lukas, Robert, Dennis... have I forgotten someone?". i laughed and said "Yeah Johnny?", he laughed and said yeah of course and Dustin.". I nodded and said "Yeah...", he said "And Nicky?", I stared at him and said "What? No!! The only thing nicky's ever done in this bed is sleep or comfort me... Where did that come from Jare?". He said "okay.. sorry... I don't know, just got curious.". I said "Well... I have never had sex with Nicky, not in this bed or any other bed or place...". He nodded and said "okay.. sorry..", I nodded and then he said "So what should we do today?". I srhugged and said "Whatever you're up for... I just want to think about something else then Tove at the moment..". He nodded and said "Yeah I know what you mean...", i tried so hard to shove my feelings away when it got brought up again but becuase of the fact that Jared knows me pretty well he could see that I was worried so he slowly cuddled closer and put his arm around me and pulled me closer and I rested my head on his shoulder and he slowly rocked me alittle and said "Everything is going to be fine honey. The tests won't show anything and Tove will be cleared.". I mumbled "i wish I could believe you... can we talk about something else?". He nodded and kissed my hair and I sat up and said "Can't we just like take a walk or something?". He nodded and said "Sure, let me just get dressed and then we'll be on our way.". I smiled and said "Great." and then he went to the bathroom to wash up and get dressed. Meanwhile someone knocked on the door so I said come in and in came Tove. I smiled and said "Good morning.". She smiled back and walked over to me and gave me a hug and said "Good morning to you too. I tought I heard your voice.". I laughed and said "Well you never know anymore, now when Jared has started to date... he might have brought someone home.". She sat down on the bed and said "something tells me that jared isn't going to bring someone home just yet and I really doubt that he would have sex with another woman then you in this bed... after all it is your bed and not his..". I said "yeah well you might be right. it would actually feel wierd to know that he had sex in my bed with someone else... I'd rather have them do that at her place or in one of the spare bedrooms..". then all of the sudden Jared said "Good to know.", both tove and I looked at him and i said "I just mean that...", he interrupted me with his hand and a smile on his face and said "It's okay.. Tove's right... For me it would feel really strange to have sex with someone else then you in this bed.". I said "well people change, Zara never thought she would have sex with anyone else then Nicky in her bed but lookie now, there I am.". jared laughed and said "Yeah but it's still her bed, this isn't really my bed either, it's still yours even though you told me I could stay here.". I said "yeah maybe your right but still... you don't have to feel like I'm holding you back. i love you jared and I want you to be happy especially now when I can't make you happy.". He smiled and said "Thank you babe, I love you too." I smiled and then he continued "Are you guys going to talk some more or are we going for our walk?". I looked at tove and she said "You go..". I nodded and gave her a hug and then Jared and I headed out for our walk in the beautiful but freezing winter day.

When we got outside I said "by the way, why's the whole house to quiet and empty?". He said "Becuase johan is working and Krisen went to the policestation to check up on some things even though she should stay home and rest. And My's at the kindergarten and the rest of the kids are at school.". I said "Oh... of course...", he laughed and said "Doesn't it feel wierd not knowing what's happening at the Alexanderssons? especially when you've lived there all your life.". I said "yeah it is.. I miss it sometimes but it's at the same time lovely to live at zaras and nickys becuase I get to be around them and it's not so many kids altough their kids pretty much hate me so that's a bad thing.". He said "They don't hate you.. They'll coem around.", I sighed and said "David wants me dead...". He looked at me and said "Honey, it's just hard for him, don't listen to that.". I sighed and said "i know, everyone keep telling me but it's not so easy...". He said "i can understand that but just give them some time okay?". I nodded and then we continued walking the same road as Nicky and I used to walk every single day. I can't believe we don't do that anymore, I miss it so much. I have to talk to him and ask him if w can continue doing it becuase it was like the hightlight of the day for me and i miss spending time with him. And today when I walked that road with Jared it felt really strange that it was Jare insted of Nico. Anyway when we walked by the bench that we always used to sit down on we heard a voice say "There you are bitch! you still dare to walk here?". We turned around and faced the guy that I alomst beat do death a few months ago... I just felt numb when I saw him and all the feelings and everythng just came running back to me when I saw his face, the sadness of knowing that my best friend hated me and was sick, that the man I loved was away with his girlfriend and that i was totally alone and unable to fix anything that I had messed up. I couldn't say anything but Jared could so he said "What the fuck do you mean with that?". I took his hand so he would calm down and the guy said "This fucking bitch shouldn't come anywhere near me! I'll call the police and have you arrested for assault!!". Jared just stared at the dude and then at me and said "What the fuck is he talking about?". I said "He's the guy I beat... when I came home and my hands where bloody.". Jared stared at me with big eyes and then at the guy and then he said "It was him?". I nodded and then the guy said "Yeah and she'd better stay away from here!". Then jared said "Why?", the guy said "becuase otherwise I will call the police, are you deaf, you fucking Neanderthal!?". I felt more and more anger build up in me just like last time I saw him but Jared was just cool and said "no I'm not, I just wanted you to hear how stupid that is. I mean she has an ex-husband in the police force and a mother and a, let's say a friend. And you are a pretty big guy but still... somehow... a pretty short, blond woman managed to beat the crap out of you?". I smiled on the inside becuase jared was such a smart guy sometimes but at th outside I just stared at the guy like I wanted to kill him. he looked at me and then Jared and said "I'm not afraid of her! she was lucky that she got a lucky punch and that i don't hit women!". then Jared said "You should be, as you may have noticed she isn't the way she seem and that wasn't a lucky punch, she doesn't do lucky punches. And you should be lucky that you didn't try to hit her becuase if you would have laid so much as a filthy finger on her it wouldn't just be her you should worry about... it would be me and the guy she was with and her girlfriend and her ex-husbands and well... let's say pretty much everyone.". The guy looked a little bit freaked but then he said "yeah right, like I would be afraid by you.". I sighed and said "No, you shouldn't... Jared here is a sweetheart and a lovely guy but if you say one more bad thing about him or anyone of my friends again I will kill you.. and trust me, this time no one will stop me. I can handle jail... I mean I'm good with handcuffs and I doubt that the guards would want to keep me locked up for that long.". He said "i'm not afriad of you either blondy.", I sighed and said "I don't care what you call me.. Go ahead, I am blond so.. but try to say something about Jared.". I walked a step closer to him and said "Try.", he looked at jared and them me and i could see the fear in his eyes so I took one more step closer to him and said through my clenched teeth "Try!". He said "nah I'm good..", I said "okay.. we're going to go now and I don't want to see you around here anymore you skum.". He said "You're not the boss of me!", but then I just walked closer to him and he backed away and walked off and then I took a deep breath and said "That was easy.". Jared laughed and walked over to me and said "You are amazing.". I said "Am I really that scary?", he shook his head and said "Not at all baby. You are wonderful.". I smiled and gave him a hug and then we continued to walk and talk about alot of stuff that had nothing to do with the guy, Tove or anything that would make our mood go downhill again.

When we came back home tove and jensen was in the kitchen´. When we walked into the kicthen Jensen stood up and walked over to me and gave me a hug and said "Hey you. How are you?". I smiled and hugged him back and said "I'm just fine, how are you?". We let go and he smiled and said "I'm great.". I smiled and said "That's good.", then he sat back down and we joined them around the table and then we heard cries from upstairs so I said "I'll get her, you'll eat.". Tove smiled and Jensen said "Thanks darling.", I nodded and walked upstairs and went into tove and jensens room and heard the cries from Dennie. I sighed and made a grimace and walked over to the crib and said "There there, cane you please shut up now dennie?". She got quiet and looked at me with big eyes and I smiled and then she just bursted out screaming again. I sighed and carefully picked her up and gently rocked her alittle and after alittle while she actually got quiet and I looked at her and said "Come on, why the crybaby?`You're a big girl now, you shouldn't cry.". She just looked at me with her big eyes and I said "okay, come on, let's go down to your parents.". i walked down to the kicthen and gave dennie to tove who got up and went to the livingroom to feed her and jensen said "We should go and play in the snow some day.". I smiled and so did jared and I said "Yeah aboslutly! I'm totally on!", Jared nodded and Jensen just smiled but then my phone rang and I picked it up and nicky said "Hey... how long are you going to be away?". I siad "Ehm... probobly all day... I'm spending time with jared today. why?", he siad "Oh right.. sorry. nothing... see you when you get home.". I felt really confused but said "okay, wierdo. Yeah see you later tonight.". He laughed and said "thanks honey. bye.", i smiled and shook my head and siad "Bye.". Jared laughed and siad "Your girlfriend want you home?". I said "No, it was Nicky... don't know what he wanted though but it might have something to do with the fact that Shay is leaving tomorrow.". He said "oh... if you want to go home and hang out with them you can.. I mean if he is leaving...". I interrupted him and took his hand and said "No Jare. I want to hang out with you today and Shay will still be there tonight and tomorrow morning so I can hang out with him then.". He smiled and said "okay.. thanks.", I smiled and said "Your welcome. No let's do something.. I'm bored.". He laughed and said "Well... we can watch a movie or something or just talk?". I got up and said "Movie sounds great, do you and Tove want to join us jensen?". Jensen just srhugged and said "YEah I think so... We can ask tove when she comes abck.". I nodded and we waited for a while and then she finally came back and she said that she tought it sounded like an amazing idea so we went up to Jareds room and laid down in bed and watched Sherlock Holmes but I have to say that I don't get shy everyone thinks it's so good. I really liked the suroundings and everything like that in the movie because it was so characteristic of the period but I didn't like the storyline at all... I didn't find it interesting or catchy and I just thought it was slow and boring. Jensen, Jared and Tove tought the same thing so we all agree on atleast that part which was nice. :P Anyway after the movie it was almost time for dinner so Tove and Jensen went downstairs and I turned to Jared and said "Thank you for a good day.". he smiled and stroke his fingertips over my hand and said "No, thank you for an amazing day.". I smiled and then I said "So how's it going with that woman you went out with?". He sighed and said "Not so good... We went on our second date but then she was like a totally different person which I didn't like at all so I don't think we will be going on a thrid date.". I said "What did she say?", he said "Nothing, she just behaved wierdly..". I nodded and said "You'll find a great woman some time, don't worry Jare. I'm sorry I lead you on for so long but i really did think that we were going to become a great couple again.". He said "Don't worry. i loved every single moment of it, even if it meant that I had to fight for you. I suppose that is what I found most fun becuase to be honest I didn't really fight for you a year ago.". i said "i know.... but still I'm sorry.". He said "Yeah well so am I but I'm really happy that you are happy and that you are fine with the fact that I'm dateing.". I nodded and said "It wouldn't be fair otherwise and I just want you to be happy and you will be, trust me.". He smiled and I kissed his cheek and said "i have to go now.. ". He nodded and then we walked downstairs and in the hallway he puled me in for a hug and then he kissed my cheek and said "I'll see you later. Bye.". I nodded and said "Yeah we'll do that. bye handsome.", then I went back home and when I got there I found everyone in the kitchen, they had just started to eat. I quickly gave zara a kiss and then joined them and then all of the sudden Emma said "Mum... is it okay if Mattias comes here next week on like monday?". We all looked at her and I said "Who's this Mattias?", Emma just said "it's Patriks son.. you know Lennarts Partik.". I said "oh really!" then I gave her a smile and she shyly smiled back alittle and then looked at zara and said "Well?". Then Nicky just said "no. not good idea.". Emma sighed and said "mum... please.", Zara sighed and said "Fine. So be it. He can come.". Emma smiled and we all contiued to eat.

After dinner Shane said "So.. what should we do?", I shrugged and said "I don't know... watch a movie or play cards or something?". nicky smiled and said "I have to say that cards sounded pertty fun... what do you guys say?". Zara and Gillian sighed but then we heard the door open and Jocke say "howdy!". Then he walked into the kitchen with a big smile on his face and he said "Oh dinner! Anything left?". We all started to laugh and Nicky said "grab a plate and eat man.". Jocke just smiled, took a plate, sat down and said "You're a fine man nicky.". WE laughed and he started to eat and I said "jocke... would you like to join Shane, nicky and me and play cards?". He smiled and said "Yeah sure! We can play strip poker!". I just stared at him and nicky said "no than you. that's never a good idea.". I can't tell how disappointed jocke got but then he cheered up alittle and said that he was up for it anyway and then zara said "So Gillian and I don't have to join you?". I shook my head and said "no, you guys can do whatever you want.". She smiled and said "Good. We'll watch some tv. I love you baby.". I smiled and kissed her and said "I love you too baby.". Then I turned abck to the guys and Nicky and Jocke were drooling like crazy and shane drooled alittle but stopped pretty quick. He is a smart man. I just sighed when I saw Nicky and Jocke and said "okay come on. let's clean this table off and let's play.". They guys nodded and we all helped to get the plates and stuff into the dishwasher and then we started to play some cards. it was alot of fun and I won a few times with made Nicky soooo mad but then he won and he just got overexcited and I just got angry with him.

After playing for a few hours zara walked in and said "Madde. I have a surprise for you upstairs... Can you come with me?". i smiled and nodded and said "Well then lads... I have to go, the lady wants me. I'll see you all tomorrow. Sleep tight.". They smiled and shane gave me a hug and said "Have a good night honey. see you tomorrow.". Then I gave Nicky a hug and he said "I still hate you for winning.". I sighed and kissed his cheek and said "Did that make it better?", he smiled slightly and siad "Yeah alittle.". I laughed and said goodnight and then i followed Zara upstairs and the she told me to sit down on the bed and close my eyes. I don't know how long I was sitting there but then she said "okay, open them.". I did as she asked and she was holding a piece of red fabric in her hands and she said "Put it on while I'm in the bathroom.". I smiled and took the dress and she went into the bathroom and I bagan to put the dress on and it was just soooo sexy and beatuiful and looked totally smoking hot on me! :P Anyway then she said throught the bathroomdoor "No sit down on the bed again and look over here.". I did as she asked and then the door to the bathroom slowly opened and a very sexy leg revealed itself and then more and more of zara came though the door and then she stood there in the worlds most sexiest Firefighters suit ever!! my jaw just dropped and I just stared at her while she made a sexy entrance. i just smiled and then she slowly started to come on to me so I said "Hang on... can I just blog and then we can have the whole night to ourselfs?". She nodded nad I started to blog so here i am now but i really have to go now becuase I can't get my eyes away from my über sexy girlfriend. Bye!!!

Take care
Love
Madde