This is it.

Hey guys!

Well yesterday two of my best friends got together and I really hope they will be happy, love each other and take care of each other. They are so sweeit and cute together and I'm so happy for both of them, they have had a tough year but I think everything is starting to finally get wonderful again. Let's just hope it will countinue at this road and everything will just go our way..
Let's start from this morning.
I woke up from a soft manly hand stroking my cheek, I slowly opend my eyes and looked straight into Jensens beautiful eyes, he was lying on the cover in the bed and I yawn, he smiled and said " You are just so beautiful. " I smiled and said " So are you baby. " He smiled and gave me a soft but loveble kiss. I pulled my hand up from beneath the cover and stroke his amazing bare arm, he took my hand in his and said " God you are cold! " I said " I know it's pretty chilly in here. " He said " Then let me help you get warm. " He fast crawled under the cover and cuddle close to me and I felt his hand on my stomach and I just smile then he started to move it a little higher, then he said with a smile on his face " You're naked? " I smiled and said " Almost.. " He gave me cheesy smile and I said " So what has that to do with you getting me warm again? " He smiled and said " I know a few ways that can help.. " I smiled and he said " How tired are you? " I though for a couple seconds then I smiled and said " Lock the door. " He smiled and gave me a kiss and walked up from the bed and locked the door meanwhile I wa sjust cheaking out his amazing back muscels with a smile on my face. When he got back to the bed he crawled back under the cover and got on top of me. I smiled and so did he, then his lips meet mine and it was just so amazing and they got more and more eager for every second, and his toung was playing with mine so amazingly. My hand was touching his back and neck, his hand started to carness my boob which feelt so great! I moan a little and his lips moved down to my neck and started to kiss me there and it was so good! Then he kissed his way down to my boobs meanwhile his hand got inside of my pantis and stared to carness me down there, I started to breath more and more shallow and I got so tured on I just wanted to ripe his clothes off and feel him inside of me. My hands touched his body more eagarly for every second and he started to kiss my stomach and then all the way down meanwhile he pulled off my pantis and throw them on the floor. He looked at me and smiled and placed his hands just above my knees and slowly stroke my tighs and spread my leggs. I gave him a smiled and he bend down and kissed the inside of my tight further and further in. Then I feel his toung down there and it was just so unbelievable fantastic! I just wanted to come right the way, he knews excatlly what I love and how it will be amazing for me. I started to breath even more shallow and moan loader of plesure, his hand gently wandered over my stomach to my boob and he started to carness it which made it even better. Then he stopped and kissed his way up to my lips and I smiled and he rolled us around and I sat up and I looked at his gorgous body for a few seconds and let my hand slowly wander around on his cheast which made me even more wet. I started to kiss his neck down over his shoulder, chest and abs. I pulled down his softy pants and throw them on the floor then I started to carness his beast outside of his boxers and I could feel that it was pretty stiff all reday. He started to moan amd his beast started to grow so I took a grip on the edge of hos boxers and pulled them down over his perfect ass and down his legs and feet. I looked at his beast and then I crawled up and started to kiss his lips again, I feelt how his beast was moving aginst my thigh and how it got harder and bigger. I kissed his neck and he started to moan even loader and my hand moved down to his beast and started to move while my lips had moved to his chest. He moan and I looked at him and he look seemed to enjoy it which made me want him even more inside of me becoming one with him. I smiled and kissed my way down there and let go with my hand and started to use my toung and lips. He started to moan while his beast was growing, i touched his abs with my hand. When it was hard enough I stopped and looked at him and he smiled and I kissed my way up to his lips. The kisses was even more eager now and filled with love and passion, then he rolled us around so got on top and his hand made it way down and he pressed a few fingers inside of me and I started to moan even loader this time, and his hand was carness my boob, my hand was stroking his sexy back that I love so much. I started to breath shallow and high and I was pretty close so I moan and said " Get inside of me please!" He looked at me and smiled and I smiled back. He spred my legs even more and slowly pressed his beast inside of me and started to move and I moan really load of pleasure, he lied down on top off me and kissed my lips, then he looked at me and I smiled and ran my fingers throw his hair and he started to move even faster. I started to breath really shallow and I could feel that my muscels got more and more tence and I was so close to come all ready! I knew Jensen could feel that too so he started to move even faster which made me even loader because it was just so good to feel his big hard beast inside of me moving and to know that Jensen was enjoying it just as much as I was. I buried my nails into his shoulders of pleasure and I could feel that I got all warm, then I almost scremed if plesure and came, it was just so fantastic I can't even describe it!! Jensen just countinued to move and I know he was close to because his breath was faster and loader and he morn more and more. I stroke his back down to his ass and he started to move even faster and then he got all tence and moan really load of pleasure and I could feel how he came inside of me! Then he gave me a kiss and took his beast out and lied down next to me on the bed, I put my head on his sweaty cheast and strok it with my hand and said " That was just so amazing!" I looked at him and said " I know, so perfect! " I laughed and said " I hope that no one heard us. " jensen said " We wasn't that load it can be worse. " I laughed and said " Yeah exatlly. " he smiled and kissed my forhead then I said " Where is Dennie? " He said " With Gillian. " I smiled and nodded. Then we lied there for a few minuts then I needed to go downstairs to eat something and Jensen walked into the shower,

I got dressed and I walked downstairs and the house was pretty quit, but I walked into the kitchen and there was Gillian sitting at the kitchen bar with Dennie in her arms. I smiled and said " Where is everyone? " She smiled back and said " All off them went to the hospital to visit Kristina. " Then Dennie started to crow happly and Gillan looked at her and said " Did you hear your mummies voice now? " Dennie just countinued crowling, I smiled and walked over to them and took her from Gillans arms and kissed Dennis cheek. I held her with my left arm and started to make breakfast with the other. Then I put my coffiee on teh table, then fruit drink and my sandwish and sat down. Dennis started to play with my hair and Gill said " She is so adorable. " I smiled and then she said " So are you enjoying motherhood? " I smiled and said " Yeah I love. It's hard sometimes but at the same time is's just so amazing. " She smiled and said " Yeah and the first year is almost the hardest too because then the baby needs so much but at the sametime it's one of the most amazing years too. " I smiled and said " Yeah I can I magen. You and Shane will soon be parents for the third time that is just amazing, and you look abousltly gorgous. " She smiled and said " Thanks, but I feel huge!" I laughed and said " I know how you feel! " She laughed and then she said " So will you and Jensen have any more kids then? Or maybe that is to early to know." I smiled and said " We have acutally talk about it just for a few days ago and yeah maybe in a couple of years we would love to have another baby. " She nodded and said " That sounds like a good plane. So how is everything going then? with the breastfeeding and so on? " I said " Well everything is just great, it hurts a little the first few days but now it's just great. Everything is just so wonderful in my life right now and I love life. " She smiled and said " That's great.. but I heard you where at the hospital yesterday takeing some tests.." I said " Who told you that? " She said " Oh I'm sorry.. if you didn't want me to know.. I heard Jensen and Madde talking.. I haven't told anyone. " I sign and said " It's okay, I just don't everyone to worry esepcially not mom." She placed her hand on to pof mine that was lying on the table and said " I won't tell anyone I promise honey.. is it the cancer? " I said " Thanks.. and yes it is. " She said " I so hope everything will be okay.. are you scared? " I looked down at Dennie who was playing with my hair and then I said " I'm scared off leaving here.. and everyone else..I'm not scared to be sick I'm scared to not make it to leave the people that I love and care about.. so yes I'm scared, everyday and every minut off the day. " She said " You never show that you are scared. You are useally a pretty posetive woman that what I have seen off you anyway. " I said " Well I see it like this I have two choose, one is that I can choose to get sucked into that dark horrible place and feel bad for myself all day long and get super depressed.. or I can do the best of my life, and see the day and take it as it comes and be happy. It's only myself who can decied what I want to feel. " She smiled slightly and said " You are a really strong woman to be able to think like that. " I said " Maybe.. people say that I'm strong but I don't know. I mean all I do is hide my feelings inside of me instead of showing them.. I don't call that strong. " she stroke my hand and said " I still think you are amazingly strong and a really amazing woman, you just need to give it time and when you feel you are ready I know you will be able to show your feelings. Because you have been throw many hard things in your life which have made you like this, and when you are reday you will show all those emations you have been keeping away. " I smiled and said " Thanks. " She said " For what? " I said " For everything.. being here for me, taking care off my amazing best freind and for just being a great freind. " She smiled and I stood up and took a few stepes closer and wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. When we let go I smiled and sat down and countinue eating then I said " So why didn't you go to the hospital? " She said " I need some rest. " I said " I'm sorry you shouldn't taken care of Dennie then!" She smiled and said " Don't worry about that, holding a baby makes me relax especially when they are as nice as she is. " I smiled and said " Thanks for that too. " She just smiled then my phone rang and I looked at the display and saw it was Zara so I smiled and answerd hello, but it wasn't Zara it was Madde who said happy " Hello my beautiful, amazing, wonderful, incredable sister!" I sign and said " What do you want? " She laughed a little and said " What? Nothing! Do I need a reason to call my bestest best freind? " I said " yeah, so what is it? " She laughed again and said " Nothing.. I love you!" I sign and said " Love you too.. but what do you want?" then she sign and said " Fine. I forgot my phone on the counter in the hall.. please can you come over here? " I made a deep sighen and said " Fine, i'm going to mom anyway so.. see you in an hour or so. " She said happy " Thank you, thank you, thank you. " I said " umh you owe me. Bye. " Then we hang up and I eat my breakfast and then the rest of the family came home and Shane walked over to Gill and gave her a kiss and said " Shall we go? " she nodded and gave me another hug and said bye then they left. I went upstairs to get ready, Jensen was getting dressed and he smiled when he saw me and so did I and walke dover to him and gave him a kiss and then I put Dennie in his arms. Then I said " I'm going to visit mom after I have taken a shower. " he said " Okay do you want me to come? " I said " No it's okay, weren't you and Jared going out for a short shopping trip? " jensen sid " Yeah right I forgot about that. " I laughed and said " You suck!" He msiled and kissed me and then I walked into the shower.

When I walked out of there Jensen was siting in the sofa with Dennie in his arms singing for her, it was just so beautiful. I just stood there looking at them and listning and Jensen just gave me a smile. When that amazing song was over I walked over to him and kissed his cheek and said " That was so beuatiful. " He smiled and I stroke Dennies cheek and she looked so happy. Then I walked inyo the closet to decied what to wear and then get dressed.
So after an hour or so I kissed my amazing man goodbye, picked up Maddes phone and put Dennie in the car and drove off. When we got to the house I picked Dennie up and I knocked on the door and I heard someone yelling come in so I did.
I walked into the kitchen where I found kim and the table drawing which she is just so amazing at, I wish I could draw like that! Around the whole house they have paintes that Kim have made which looks like they could have coste millons! I walked over to her and stroke her hair and she smiled and countinied drawing. I looked at the paper where she was drowing a beuatiful wonder woman, it looked amazing! While she was drawing she said " Do you see who it is? or maybe that is too soon since i just started to draw so maybe.. " I inturupted and said " It's Zara, i thought it looked like her. Kim it's aboultly amazing! You are so good at this, I'm so jealous!" She looked at me and said " Thanks. Mom is my wonder woman in someway and a hero that is always here for us when we need her and love us more then we deserve. " I smiled and said " I know she must be so honured. " She said " Well mum dosn't know about this yet.. I think I will be done tomorrow with it if I work on it so maybe tomorrow I give it to her I want it o be a suprise. " I smiled and said " I bet she will be really happy and move it's a great gift so I won't say anything. " She smiled and I stroke her cheek and said " Where is your mom and Madde? " She pointed upstairs so I wnet upstairs and found them in one of the rooms upstairs talking. I first gave Zara hug then Madde and said " So how was mom? " She smiled and said " Much better. " i smiled back and said " I'm glad to here that. " I picked up her phone and gave it to her and she have me another hug and said " I love you so much! Thanks!" I smiled and said " love you too. " Then I kissed her cheek and laughed and said " maybe your girlfriend is getting jealous now. " Zara laughed and said " yeah right. " Then we let go and I looked at both of them and said " I'm so happy for both of you guys you are amazing. " They smiled and gave me another hug then I had to go if I was going to have time to go to mum and then be home for dinner. So I said good bye and walked out to the car.

On the way to the hospital we stopped at a flower shop, found a beautiul bouquet. Then the choclate store was on the way to the hospital so we made a stop there too and bought mums favorite chocolate and a card. When we got to the hospital and had parked the car I put Dennie in the stroller and walked into the hospital. We took the elvatore upstairs to the floor mum was on, in the hallway I meet her doctor that had helped me get nto the surgury so he walked over to me and said " I think she will be able to go home in a few days now. " I smiled and said " Thanks forevery thing. " He smiled and then he looked down on Dennie who was staring at him with her big beautiful blue eyes and the doctor said " She is adorble!" I smiled and said " Thanks. " Then we started to walk down the hall and when we got to mums room, I knocked on the door and she said come in with that strong and healty voice which made me smile. I opend the door and walked in, mum was siting up reading and she smiled when she saw us and said " Two of my favorit girls. " She put the book away and I picked up Dennie and walked over to mum and gave her a long hug she kissed my cheek and said " My beautiful daughther. " I looked at her and smiled and said " My beautiful mother. " She smiled and I lied dennie on her own arm since she can almost just use one arm right now. She kissed her head and said " And we can not forget my beautiful grand daughther. " Dennie was just smiling, I took the flowers out from wrapping paper and the chocolate in the other hand and said " From me and Dennie. " She smiled and said " Thank you guys so sweeit! The flowers are so beautiful, and that box of chocolate will be empty before tonight trust me. " I laughed and said " I do trust you. " She just laughed and I put the flowers in water and then I sat down on the chair next to the bed. Mum told me to opend the chocolate box which I glady did and I took a piece and mum laughed and said " Who said you could taste? " I laughed and said " Dennie did. " Mum just laughed and took a piece herself and took a little bit of it. While she was chewing she held the rest of the piece in her almost handicapped arm and Dennie reach out her arms after it and really tried her best to take it from mum, we laughed and mum looked at her and said " In a few month you might taste some suger but not now sorry. " She was just staring at mum like she was crazy then mum looked at me and said " I can't belive how big she have gotten, it feels like it was yesterday she got born. " I smiled and said " I know she is big girl now, soon two month. " Mum smiled and said " You don't regret your destion now that you keeped her? " I smiled and said " No that is he best destion I have ever made. When I look back at all those month when I was worried and scared about that I made teh wrong destion just feels so ridiculous. " Mum smiled and said " Im glad to here that. " I stroke Dennis cheek and she just smiled then mum said " So where is Jensen? " I said " he and Jare was going on a fast shopping trip. " Mum nooded and said " So how is things with you guys? " I smiled and said " Things between us is just so perfect it can be. I love him so much that I can't even decribe it and I know he love me just as much. He makes me so happhy!" Mum smiled and said " I can see that and you deserve it. I love Jensen so much and I'm so happy for both of you. " I smiled and said " Thanks mum. " Then she said " So.. now when you have a baby.. do get time for each other? That is importent. " I laughed and shook my head and said " Mum what kind of qustion is that?" She said " So you can just talk about your sex life at dinner? " I laughed and said " Fine. Yes we do get time for each other. Some people would say to much time. " Mum laughed and said " Good, that's all I want to know." I said " How much morphine are you on?! To even ask me that? " Mum smiled slightly and said " I just want you to be happy.. " I said " Is this some kind of goodbye worries if you wouldn't make it?!" Mum didn't answer and I said " Don't say that! You will just be fine!" Mum said " I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that I'm just scared after what happend that night. And if I would die what would happend then with my kids, my younger kids." I stroke her cheek and said " Mum IF something would happend to you they won't be alone I would be there and take care of them, and Johan too. " Mum said " But you have a family on our own and planing to moving to Dallas someday with your husband. " I said " Do you think I would abandon then? Jensen would understand and I know he love them so much so everything would be as fine as it can be.. " Mum said " Thanks, I love you so much. " I smiled and said " I love you too. " Mum said " You really are the strongest woman I know. Tove you say that you are just alike your horrible father, which might be true on the outside. But have you seen how alike you acutally are me on the inside? Especially now when you are a mother too. " I said " I am? " Mum smiled and said " You have become such an amzing woman and I'm so proud of you. " I smiled and said " It's just because of you, you are an amazing mum. " She smiled and said " Thanks and then I mean for everything. I'm so greatful that you where with me under the surgury to hold my hand. That is really brave, I can just imagen. Especially since you barely wanted to see me sick and then you did that even though you where scared. I'm so proud of you. " I said " It was one of the most terrifying nights in my life.. to see you lying there so sick, weak and helpless instead of being that coloreful independent woman that you are. It fellt like it wasn't my mum who was lying there on the table.. it was another person that just looked like you, because it couldn't be you that would just have been horrible.. " I think I almost could see tears in the corner of her eyes and she said " But you where still there and that mean so much to, you gave me the strength to fight. " I said " I feelt so helpless I just wanted to do everything I could, which was nothing.. all I did was holding your hand and keeping the hopes up. " She said " Holding my hand was not nothing, that was everything just what I needed. You where there for me even though it must have been horrible. You got to see when they cut me opend and see things that I didn't wanted anyone of my kids too see. Like I said you are the strongest woman I know and also the bravest and I'm so thankful and proud of you, you are amazing!" I dried a tear away from my cheek and then I sat down on the bed next to her and Dennie and kissed mums cheek and lean my head on her shoulder, I feelt her lips pressing against my head and I smiled and said " I love you mum so much. " she kissed my hair again and said " I love you too sweeity. " I stroke Dennies head and she was a sleep, she looked so peaceful and beautiful which made me smile. We just sat there for a while in silence but then I looked at mum and said " Do you want to know something that I haven't told anyone before? " She nodded and I said " I have been thinking about going back to school in maybe year when Dennie is older.. " Mum smiled and said " Really? what where you thinking about to read? " I said " I have been thinking about becoming a.. doctor.. you will probaly think this is totally stupid and all that and I know you won't be the only one.. but I mean they do so much, they save lifes, and to the patient face when you tell them that are heatly again, and to see there loved once and to know that you did something good. I have been throw so much with my sickness so without doctors I wouldn't be alive anymore that is just incredible that I feel healty and happy, without doctors I wouldn't have had my life that I have right now and I want other people to get the chance to be as happy as I'm right now. And without doctors my amazing daughther wouldn't be alive, or my amazing best freind, or my amazing mum, or my amazing inspiration aka Simon and so many others that I love. So people who decieds to go to school all those years to become doctors or nurses or anything else that have to do with saving peoples lifes, like cops, fire fighthers, and many other things that is just so amazing and we should be greatful to have you all. " Mum kissed my cheek and said " Thank you honey, and why should I think that was stupid it's abouslty amazing! I understand after everything you have been throw. " I just smiled and mum said " So have you all reday decied that you want to major in? " I smiled and said " yeah.. kids with cancer. " Mum smiled and said " I know you will be the best doctor ever. " I smiled and said " Thanks mum! Like I said you are the first one I told about my maybe plan. " Mum smiled and said " You should tell Jensen. " I said " I will. " Mum said " You know he will support you a 110 % whatever you decied to do, because he loves you so much. " I thought about my amazing boyfriend which made me smile then I said " I know he will. " Then Dennie woke up and started to screm since she was hungery, so I took her from mum and she said " Just nurse her here please? " I sign and said " Fine! Jensen and Maja have all reday seen it so..." Mum just smiled and I sat down on the chair and started to feed her. I almost didn't want to look at mum because I knew exatlly how her face would be.. but then she started to say something so I had to look at her and I was right she was so overwhelming and happy and god knows what was she was.. then she said with a smile in her face " That is just so amazing, so beautiful! " I just sign and shook my head and I think I saw a tear roll down her cheek then she said " That is one of the most amazing, beautiful and wonderful things I have ever seen. " I sign and said " If you don't shut up I will go to the bathroom!" she did shut up but she was still looking at me in that way that I hate.. when she was filled I put Dennie in mums arms again and then we just sat there talking for a while. Then all the sudden it knocked on the door and mum said come in, so the door opend up and the most gorgous man walked throw those doors. I just smiled and he smiled back, he walked over to us and gave mum a long hug and kissed her cheek and asked how she was doing, and she answer that it was much better. Then he stroke Dennies head and kisser her cute little nose and she was just smiling, then he tured to me and pulled me up from the chair and gave me a long romantic kiss which made my stomach almost tured inside out and made my heart jump out from my cheast. When our lips parted he looked into my eyes and took away a hair lock from my face, then he genlty pressed his lips against my forhead, I just smiled. He sat down on the chair I had been siting on and grabbed my wrist and pulled me down in his lap, I started to stroke his sexy neck with my hand and he placed his hand on my thigh. Then mum said " So where is Jared? " Jensen said " He dropped me off here because he needed to go home and shower before dinner. " Mum nodded and said " so what did you two buy then to yourself? " Jensen laughed and said " Aboulutly nothing. " I looked at him and said " nothing? " He smiled and said " Okay maybe I did buy something.. " I looked at him confused and said " okay? What? " he took my hand and smiled and said " It's a suprise for you. " I smiled and said " Really? So when do I get to see what it is? " He gave me a fast kiss and said " Wait and see. " I just smiled and said " Okay.. " Mum said smiling " You two are just so adorble!" I smiled and said " Thanks. " Then Jensen said " maybe we need to go it's dinner soon. " I nodded and we gave mum a big hug and left.

When we got home it was time for dinner and since mum isn't home it's kind of weird so we didn't say that much throw the whole dinner except My and Simon that always talks,talks and talks.. But they are super cute together :)
After dinner me, Jensen and Jared decied to go and watch a few movies. But when we where on our way upstairs I looked at Jared and said " I want something to eat.. we should make something.. " jared smiled and said " Sound great!" jensen said " I think it sound super!" Then jared looked at him and said " But maybe you can't taste since you will just be watching: " Jared laughed and Jensen box his arm and then they laughed. We walked into the kitchen and me and Jared started to make a lot of diffrent things, and I improvise something abouslutly new I just put thing in a bowl that we had at home and it acutally tasted amazing! While we was working Jared looked at Jensen who was sitting and looking at us and Jared said " so Jensen you are helping out soooo much!" Jensen said " I know to much you guys don't do anything here!" We laughed then Jensen said " I'm serious!" Jared said " So you mean you do help? Then I have to ask with what? " Jensen smiled and said " I'm looking at my sexy wifes ass that is hard work. " Jared just laughed and said " oh yeah I can imagen!" Jensen just smiled and I stared at him angry and said " Don't call me that!!" Jensen just gave me a even bigger smile on his face then Jared laughed and looked at me and said " wife! Wife!Wife!" I just hit him and he laughed and I said " If you too don't shut up I will eat my bake masterpiece by myself and I know you too dosn't want that!" Both of them stopped laughing and Jared said " I will be good." I said " good boy." When everything was done Jensen took three beers from the refrigerator and we walked upstairs too one of the movie rooms, were we laied down and started to watch a move and eat. After two movies Dennie woke up who had been sleeping in her crib in our room, I gave Jensen a kiss and walked over there. I picked her up and lied down on the bed and put her next to me, I picked up one of Dennies favorite book called "Morris and Griffo" it's about two dogs and she always get's so happy when I read it to her even thought she don't understand that much.. Well anyway I started to read and she just laied there smiling and looking with big eyes at the picturs. When I had read almost the half book Jensen walked throw the door and he smiled when he saw us ying on the bed, he crawled down next to Dennie and I looked at him and he said smiling " Countinue. " So I did, and when I read the last page she was almost half a sleep all reday and ha big trubbles keeping her eyelids opend. So I closed the book and both me and Jensne kissed her good night and put her in the crib. Then I cuddle close to Jensen on the bed and he said smiling " I can see how much you enjoy reading for her. " I smiled and said " yeah I love her and I love books, I belive books is a great thing and it's really good for her when she is this young with words and picturs and all that. So yeah I love it, I wouldn't have any problem lying here a whole day reading for her, that is one of the best thing I know. " he kissed my head and said " I know and it's great you are doing it. " I kissed him and we just lied there for a while cuddling, then I picked up my computer to blogg and here I'm. But now I'm going to wrapp this up and say good night you all so I can cuddle down with my man.

Tomorrow you will hear from my amazing lesbian sister :)
Well good night!
Kisses
Tove