Love

Heya!!

This is an inlay that you think is going to turn out just they way you think but let me tell you that some things have happened today and you are probobly not going to believe what you read but it's all true and I am infact in love.

This morning when I woke up and looked into Jareds face and he looked so peaceful. I smiled and stroke his gorgeous cheekbones and felt alittle bit of stubble under my hand and I ran my hand through his hair. He moaned and slowly opened his eyes and looked into my eyes and it felt liks someone took a grip around my heart and squeezed it. I smiled and stroke his cheek again and he took a pleased breath and smiled and said "Good morning.". I leaned in and gave him a very soft kiss and said "Morning handsome." he smiled and pulled me closer and pressed his lips against mine and then I looked into his eyes and said "I'm sorry.". He wrinkled his forhead and asked why and I said "I'm sorry I hurt you yesterday... Honey you have to tell me if I hurt you and babe, don't tell me that I don't hurt you because I know I do and I hate it!!". He looked away and then he quietly said "Okay... yeah it hurts everytime you hang out with Nicky and yes I hate it... I'm just hopeing that you will realize that you want to be with me and not with him...". I felt tears build up in my eyes and I said "I'm sorry. Look, I'm trying, I really am and I wish I could have those feelings too... Can we make a deal?". He looked at me and a tear fell down my face and he stroke it away and said "what did you have in mind?" I took his hand and said "That I will only hang with Nicky 3 times a week unless something major has happened and that if I say that I'm going to hang with him if I have already done that 3 times in a week you will demand a good explanation from me.". He looked me in the eyes and siad "Are you sure?" I nodded and said "Yes, I want to try and understand what I really want... I want myself to see the thing that is right infront of me.". It was really hard to guess what he was thinking, he looked happy but at the same time sad... he siad "I can't stadn seeing you sad... You won't be sad without him?". i took a deep breath and said "When I'm with you I pretty often forget about Nicky and when I'm with you I'm not sad. You make me feel so safe and peaceful and happy.". He smiled and said "In that case, we have a deal." I smiled and gave him a long, deep, passionated kiss and then we just laid there cuddling for like hours. Then I remembered that I had to go to the garage with Tove so I gave Jared a last kiss and put on some clothes and headed towards Tove and jensens room. It's so nice that they are home again, I'm so happy about that. I knocked on the door and opened it and found Tove in bed still so I walked in and sat down on the bed and said "Good morning. Where is jensen?". She said "In the shower. What's up?" I took a deep breyth and said "I read your inlay... Are you ready to take the bull by the horns and go down to the garage now?". I saw the anxiety in her eyes and said "You don't have to but... I can only guess how hard this is for you and I'm so sorry, I really am and I know that it doesn't help but maybe facing it will help alittle.". She nodded and got out of bed and put some clothes on, I walked over to her and took her hand and we walked downstairs and I think both of us where thankful that no one was awake becuase that would just ahve made things harder. We walked over to the door to the garage and Tove got more and more tense and I looked at her and she was staring at the door with horror in her eyes and I squeezed her hand. I put my hand on the doorhandle and pressed it down and slowly pushed the door open, inside we saw loads of cars but I didn't look at them I looked at Tove and saw tears pouring down her eyes and I stroke a few of them away wih my thumb and said "I'm sorry.". She continued crying and siad "I know but it doesn't help!" I felt tears build up in my eyes too and said "I know.". I took a deep breath and took a step through the doorway and into the garage. I hadn't let go of toves hand so I slowly pulled her in with me and when she took the step inside I wrapped my arms around her and she cried against my shoulder. I stroke her hair and tried to calm her down but I knew that it wouldn't work but I had to give it a shot. After crying for almost 15 minutes she let go of me and then I said "Say something." she looked at me and siad "All I can see is you and Jensen on that car of yours.". I stroke her cheek and said "I know, I'm sorry. Try not to think about it, think about the hotel and how nice it was to be around him. Think about how he makes you feel now and how happy you are around him and how special he makes you feel as soon as he just looks at you or touches you.". She just looked at me and I continued "Think about now, how amazing it feels to fall asleep in his arms at night and how great it feels when he kisses you softly and looks into your eyes and tells you how much he loves you.". She nodded and said "That is what i think about but the sight of the two of you always pops up in my head.". I said "You are the strongest woman I have ever met, you can fight that sight. I knwo that it was horrible and I hate myself everyday for it but I know you can fight it. We love you and we made a mistake and we both hate ourselfs for it and we know that what ever we say or do we can't change hat happened but we want to make it up to you and we will never hurt you so bad again.". She said "I know Madde and I love both of you too but I don't know how I'm going to get that sight out of my head.". I said "Honey, give it some time and fight it." she nodded and we sat down in the garage and just sat there, I was still holding her hand and I could almost feel how she fought the sight of me and jensen on the car and she slowly calmed down. I closed my eyes and smelled the air, I love the smell of a garage and to feel the presence of the cars and just everything. but the smell I love the most if we don't count something involving guys is new cars. I just love to sit down in a new car and smell it, it's amazing.

After almost sitting there for an hour we walked out of there and found Jensen and Jared in the kitchen. Tove walked over to jensen and gave him a kiss and I walked over to Jared and did the same. When our lips parted i ram my fingers through his hair and then I said "Did you have to carry that heavy dude down the stairs again?" then I looked at jensen and siad "Don't break his back!". Everyone satrted to laugh and I kissed Jared again and the n I went to get a cup of coffee and sat down next to jared who put his arm behind my back. All of the sudden my phone rang and I picked it up and Niklas said "Hey littlesis." I smiled and said "Wow, my long lost big brother, how are you?". He laught and said "I'm great, just wondering if you want to come over and have some lunch later?" I smiled and siad "Sure, what's the occasion?". He laught and said "Can't I aks my little sister to come over for lunch?" I said "No, it's you niklas.". He said "Great thanks. I just want to hang out alittle and Sara wants to see you too.". I smiled and said "Sure I'll be over in an hour or something." then we hung up. Jared asked me what was going on and I said "Going to Niklas and Sara for lunch later... Dunno why but he just wanted to hang so I guess I have to go.". He nodded and said "You want me to come with?" I shook my head and said "Nah it's okay... Not that I don't want to but it would be nice to hang with my brother alone.". He nodded and said "I understand, it's okay... really. I'm not jealous of your brother.". I smiled and said "Good because there is a place I can tell you that you really don't have to be jealous.". He laught and I gave him a kiss and then I got up to leave my coffeecup and then suddenly My ran into the kitchen and siad "I want to go and play with Ida! can you take me there tove?". I said "I can take you, I'm going over there in an hour if you want to go with me that is.". She smiled and ran over to em and hugged me and said "Thank you!" I smiled and stroke her hair and said "No problem honey.". She sat down at the table and Tove got up and started to make her breakfast and I walked over to Jared and gave him one last kiss and then I went upstairs to change clothes. When I walke throught the door to my room I drew in the scent of the room and it smelled just like Jared. The bed was a mess, the sheets were all twisted and there were clothes all over the room. I smiled and thought about Jared and his smile and then I sat down on the bed and picked up his hoodie that was lying on the floor. I stroke it with my hand and closed my eyes and smelled it, I don't know how long i sat there smelling his hoodie but then My came running into my room and said "When are we going!?". Then she stopped and looked at me and siad "Why are you smelling Jareds jumper?" I smiled and laid it down in my lap and said "Beucase it smells so good. We are going soon, I just have to change clothes... I'll be down in a few.". My smiled and ran downstairs and I smelld Jareds jumper one last time and then I changed clothes and put some make up on and fixed my hair and went downstairs. I walked into the kitchen and there was My sitting talking to Jared, tove and jensen. When I walked in Jared turned to me and said with a smiling face "So why did you smell my hoodie?". I smiled and walked over to him and stroke his chest and wispered in his ear and said "Because you smell amazing and I couldn't help it.". He smiled and pressed his lips against mine and then after a while My said "Can we go now?". We stopped kissing and I nodded and said "Sure." then I gave Jared one last kiss and took Mys hand and we walked out to the garage. I asked her what car she wanted to take and she ran over to my lambo that I havn't driven in ages adn said "I want to ride in your car!! It's beautiful!". I just stood there looking at the car and thought about it for a while and then I picked out the keys and helped My into the car and put the carseat on. I walked over to the driverseat and sat down and it felt really good to sit in my car again, I started it and felt the engine and the roars that it made and I couldn't keep but smiling. When I stepped on the gas and felt the power of the car I just started to laugh and My looked at me strange and asked why I laught and I said "Because I love the feeling of driving this car. CAn you feel the power of it and hear the roars that the engine makes whenever I press down the gas?". She nodded and said "But it's just a car." I shook my head and siad "You don't understand but you might when you get older... why knows.". After a few mintues we were at Niklas and Saras appartment and I parked the car and we walked up to the appartment. When we walked throught the door Ida came running and My and her ran off to her room and started to play at once. I walked into the kitchen form where I heard music and found Zara there, she didn't see me so I walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped like three feet of the ground. I started to laugh like crazy adn after a while she started to laugh too and hit my amr and said "God!! Don't scare me like that Madde!!!". I laught and siad "Sorry but you should pay more attention.". I sat down at the table and Zara lowered the volume on the stereo and joined me at the table. I asked "Where is Sara and Niklas?" she smiled and siad "They ahd to go out and get some food, Niklas didn't think so far ahead when he called you to come over for lunch because we don't have any food what so ever at home.". I laught and siad "That is so typical Nikals!" she laught and then she stopped and she said "Look, I just want to say thank you for telling Nicky to spend time with his kids.. I'm really greatful for that.". I nodded and said "I know but I just wish he could have thought about that himself and done it earlier. I'm really sorry that things turn..." then she interrupted me and said "Don't worry... I'm sorry too.". Then thankfully My and Ida came running and begged us for like 10 minutes to come and play with them so we did and it was kind of fun. We laught alot and had really fun and I can't describe it but all of the sudden I got feelings that I never thought I would. Then Zara looked at me with her beautiful eyes and smiled and I couldn't keep but smiling back at her. Then she picked up two rings and gave one to me and said "let's get engaged!" I smiled and took the ring and put it on my ring finger and then all of the sudden the door opened and Sara and Niklas came home and opened the door and asked what we were doing. I said "We are playing with Ida and My." they said "okay. we will be in the kitchen makin lunch.". Zara and I just said "Okay!" nad conintued to play with Ida and My. After 20 mintues Niklas yelled that it was lunch and we all stopped playing and joined him and Sara in the kitchen. We had a really nice meal and we laught alot and I must say that I have missed them all so much. After lunch My and Ida asked me and Zara to come back and play with them so we did and it was so much fun.

All of the sudden Nicky was standing in the doorway looking at me and Zara and I said "Oh Heya!" he smiled and said "hey you two. What are you guys doing?". Zara said "We are playing with My and Ida." then Niklas came over and stood behind nicky and said "Ida and My came into the livingroom and watched tv with us about 40 mintues ago and they ahve been in here laughing and playing all by themselfs.". Nicky laught and I said "Really? I never noticed them leave. did you Zara?" she just shook her head and said "No I didn't. That's wierd.". Then Niklas went back to the livingroom and I nodded and then I looked down on our engagement ring and said "But we were to busy to just look into each others eyes, right hunbun?". Zara looked at me and smiled and said "Yeah that's right." and then we looked at Nicky who had the funniest expression ever on his face and then he said "Hunbun?". I nodded and said "Yeah, we are engaged." and I showed him the ring and Zara did the same.". Nicky just shook his head and said "Ha-ha-ha really funny you two. I get it, I deserve it.". I looked at him confused and said "We aren't joking. We are engaged, all of the sudden I knew that Zara is the love that i have been looking for for so long and now finally I've found her.". Nicky wrinkled his forehead and Zara said "That's right. I can't believe I have missed her, how I have missed the feelings I now have for her. It's crazy. I'm in love, and Nicky you are right... she is an amazing woman and how can you not love her. I don't blame you.". Nicky looked so funny when we had said that and then he said "Are yu guys serious?" I looked at Zara and then back to nicky and said "Dead serious.". He shook his head and said "I don't believe you. kiss, if you love each other.". I looked at Zara and tok a hold behind her neck and pulled her closer, when our lips met it was an amazing feeling and none of us could stop. But when we finally did and looked back at nicky he was just standing there with his jaw dropped and huge eyes and then he said "What the fuck?" and then he called for Sara and niklas. When they came in Zara and I were holding hands and then niklas asked "What? what's going on?" and Nicky said "they say that they are together! They kissed!!!". Niklas stared at first nicky and then at me and zara and then he said "okay, great joke.. Ha-ha-ha laughing my ass off.". Both me and Zara was really confused and I said "We are together, we are engaged." adn we showed them the rings. Niklas said "Those are toy rings, you aren't together." and to prove them wrong Zara pulled me closer and gave me one more of those amazing passionated kisses. When out lips parted Sara, Niklas and nicky was staring at us like we were crazy!! then Sara said "What the fuck!! Are you insane!?" then she walked over to Zara and said "You used to hate Madde and have you forgotten that she stole your man? and now you love her?!". I knocked on Saras shoulder and said "Do you have to talk to my girlfriend like she is mentaly insane?" Sara just looked at me and then back to Zara who said "I havn't forgotten but now I understand why nicky fell in love with her. It's so easy to fall for her and I don't think I've ever felt like this for anyone before, sorry nicky.". She looked at him and so did I and he looked like he was in total shock. I walked over to him and asked "Nicky are you okay? you look like you are going to have a heartattack or something.". He looked at me and said "I'm okay... I just don't believe it." then Niklas said "okay did you miss that i said that those are toy rings?!". I said "Niklas, big brother. I love Zara and don't worry we will get real rings we just didn't find any here so we took the next best thing.". I walked back to zara and took her hand and sh looked at me and smiled and said "I love you.". I smiled back and said "I love you too.". Then all of the sudden my phone rang and I picked it up and Tove said "Hey, when are you and My coming home? Dinner is soon done.". I said "We'll be home in a few." then we hung up and I said to Zara "I'm sorry baby, I have to go home now..". She looked really sad and said "Call me later?" I nodded and gave her a soft kiss and said "Of course." then i told My that we had to go home and she ran to the door and put her shoes on. I gave Sara, Niklas and nicky a hug and when I hugged Nicky he wispered "What re you doing? have you forgotten?" and then he did the nicky-look and stroke my cheek. I just looked at him and then Zara came over and gave me a deep kiss and said "See you tomorrow?" I smiled and said "Surtenly, do you really think I can stay away from you?". She smiled her goregous smile and said "Great, can't wait." then I put my shoes on and siad goodbye and I love you to Zara and then me and My left.

We got in the lambo and drove home and when we got there everyone was already seated at the dinner table and we joined them. Jared had a huge smile on his face and I couldn't help but get a pit in my stomach over what i ahd to tell him. That I had fallen in love with Zara and that he and I would never be. I thought about it and desided that I would do that tomorrow because then Zara would be able to be with me when I do t and then he would be able to understand better. After dinner I headed upstairs to my room and laid down on the bed and put my computer on and tweeted "The love of my life is finally mine. >