Gorgeous? Yeah that's me!

Heya!

How are you lot? I can tell you that I'm feeling great! I'm over the moon becuase I have found the person I've been looking fr for so long. She completes me and makes me happy and I don't have to worry about anything. If you havn't found it yet don't worry becuase you will and when you do you are going to understand how amazing it feels to wake up next to that somebody and just lay there watching him/her sleep. It's so great. :)

First I have to say something about the news Jensen and Tove came with the other day. They are going to have a baby girl and she is going to be called Dennie, that is like the cutes name ever! Then all of the sudden they drop this huge bomb on me that they want to name the baby after me aswell and I didn't know what to say so i just ran crying away from there. But now I can tell you what I was thinking, I'm just so honored that they would even consider my name to their baby girl after everything I have done towards them and especially Tove. I'm just so happy and it feels really good that they are doing it, maybe it's not such a big deal but to me it is. i don't really know what to write about it bcause it's such a big thing but I can just say thank you jensen and tove and I would be honored if you would name the baby after me. Thank you! I love you both and Dennie is going to be an angel. I hope :P hahaha

Anyway when I woke up this morning next to the person I love most in this world I just had a smile on my face. She looked so peaceful and happy there in bed next to me and I didn't want to wake her so I got up and walked out of the room and slowly closed the door behind me. When I turned around kim was standing there and she asked "Are you and mum really together?". I smiled and nodded and said "Yes we are, and I love her." she said "I can't believe this. I ahte you!". I said "look kim, I know we got off on the wrong foot but we can figure this out. why do you hate me?". She stared at me and said "Because yu hurt mum and broke mum and dads realtionship into bits and peices!!". I said "I know and I'm sorry about that but Zara isn't sad anymore, she is happy and she is not angry with me for what happened with nicky so why should you be. I know it can be hard to accept that we are together but you are just going to have to deal with it becuase I'm a part of your family now and I have no intention of leaving her.". Kim just looked at me and then she siad "I'm angry with you because nicky is my dad and you stole him away from my mum! mother and fathers are suppose to be together forever!". I put a hand on kims shoulder and said "look, I'm sorry about that but sometimes mothers and fathers can't be with each other forever. my parents broke up and Toves parents broke up too, there are alot of parents that has broken up because it didn't work out anymore. And you should be happy in one way because Zara is happy now and you don't want to bring her down again do you?". She didn't say anything but she didn't look away either and then she said "Fine, but don't break her heart!". i smiled and said "I won't." then we walked into the kitchen and I asked if she wanted a sandwish and she said "Tove says you are a horrible cook so I think I can make my own sandwish thank you very much.". I said "I know I'm bad in the kitchen but I can make a great sandwish. I used to do that to jared when we were together and he loves it so sit down and let me make you some breakfast.". She smiled and said "Fine, but then I can fix something to drink. Coffee, tee , oboy or juice?". I smiled and said "I want some coffee please." and then we stood there making breakfast and it was kind of nice to do it with kim. Although we weren't alone for very long because then Niklas and Sara came in and Niklas stopped as soon as he saw me and then he said "geez, it's so strange to see you here so early in the morning and especially dressed like that.". I smiled and said "Well get used to it big brother to both me being here and looking like this because I always look like this when I eat breakfast.". he just laught and started doing his and Saras breakfast and sara joined me and kim at the table. She asked "So where is zara?" i smiled and said "She is still sleeping, I didn't want to wake her up.". she nodded and then I said "I have to go back home soon.. gotta talk to jared about me and zara and I think it would be better if zara wasn't there because then he will definitely try and be strong and say thah he is okay.". Then niklas said "He must take it pretty hard don't you think? I mean he still loves you doesn't he?". I nodded and said "Yeah he does and I hate to hurt him so much... that's why I neet to talk to him.". he said "I understand, be gentle with him okay?" I smiled and said "I will. When did you become Jareds best friend?". He just said "Well I guess i know that it must be hard for him and I like him, he was good for you.". I smiled and tought about Jared, I kind of miss him but i have zara and I'm ahppy now. I said "I like him too and he is a good man but I love zara.". Niklas nodded and turned back to his sandwishes and I finished my breakfast and then David came into the kitchen and asked "When is dad coming?". I said "is nicky coming today?" he smiled and said "yes! he is going to take me and Kim to the bathhouse and it's going to be great!". I smiled and said "that sounds great! I bet you are going to have a great day with your dad or what do you think kim?". She looked at me and nodded and I said "Give him a chanse Kim. he loves you and he is your father and I know that you want him in your life and that you miss him.". She nodded and said "It's going to be great." i smiled and said "I think so too.". And then we heard a knock on the door and David ran over an opened and I heard Nickys voice say "Hey son. How are you?". David said "I'm great!" and then he ran off to his room to back his bathing shorts and Nicky entered the kitchen. He looked at me and smiled and i said "Good morning Nico. Heard you were going to take Kim and David to the bathhouse.". He smiled and said "Yeah that's right. So Kim go and pack your stuff.". She did as he asked and he came over to me, kissed my cheek and sat down on kims chair. He said "This is going to take some time to get used to." I looked at him and asked "What? Me and zara?". He laught and said "yeah exacly.". then we heard zaras voice say "Well get used to it Nicky." I turned to her and she looked beautiful and she walked over to me and gave me a kiss and said "Good morning baby, I missed you when I woke up.". i smiled and gae her another kiss and said "Sorry honey but I was starving and you looked so peaceful so I didn't want to wake you up.". She smiled and said "Aw you are just to good to be true." then she started to do her breakfast and i turned to Nicky again and he looked at both me and Zara with huge eyes. I couldn't keep but laughing because he looked so bloody funny and I said "Hey close the nesting box so that no birds will fly in.". He closed hsi mouth and said "like I said, it's going to take some time." I gave him a cheesy smile and said 2but you like it don't you?". He sarted to wriggle in his chair and both me, sara, niklas and Zara laugh and i said "I knew it!". He said to his defence "What?! Two goregous women that i love is kissing right infront of me! It's kind of hot." I laught and said "And it turnes you on!". He stared at me and I laught and then he turned to Niklas and said "Doesn't it turn you on too?!". niklas said shocked "What!? No! It's my sister for crying out loud!". Nicky looked so funny, like he was pushed against the wall and had to admit something he really didn't want to admit. I laught and thne he said "I bet jareds gets turned on by it!" i said "I don't know, I think he is ind of sad that I'm not with him but why don't you ask him. He got turned on when Tove and I were having some fun.". After saying that we heard a loud sound behind us and we turned and looked at Zara who had dropped the knife into the sink and she stared at me and said "You and Tove!?". I got up and looked her in the eyes and said "Honey it was before I found you. I would never do that to you, you know that. I love you.". Then I gave her a passionated kiss and she said "Okay, well I love you too." then I said "I ahve to go, gotta go home and talk to jared... I'll see you later. love you bye.". She nodded and said "Good luck. Love you too. bye." then i turned to everyone else and said goodbye.

I headed into Zaras room and put my clothes on and hearded down to the Lambo and started to car and drove home. When I got there I found Krisen, Johan, My, Jensen and Jared in the kitchen. Jared said "Hey you." I smiled and gave him a hug and said "Goodmorning. where is tove?". Jensen said "upstairs... guess she is still sleeping..." I walked over to him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and said "Don't worry... She is stupid but she will come around and you have gone through harder things then this but I'm mad at her too.". He smiled alittle and nodded and then I turned to Jared and said "Can I talk to you upstairs?". He nodded and put his coffeecup away and followed me up to my room and we sat down ont he bed. I said "havn't you even made the bed?" he laught and said "Well you aren't sleeping at home and you always leave the bed like this so why can't I?". I laught and siad "You are so sloppy." he smiled and stroke my arm and looked me in the eyes and said "I missed you last night. It was really lonley in bed.". I closed my eyes and took his hand away from my arm and held it and said "I know and i'm so sorry that I'm hurting you like this but Jared I love Zara.. I know it's hard to understand, I hardly understand it but i do love her and I want to be with her.". He said "When you told me yesterday I thought you were crazy adn joking around..." I stroke his cheek and said "Well you weren't alone because everyone thinks we are joking but we aren't. can you forgive me?". He looked me in the eyes and then all of the sudden he grabbed me and pushed me down on the bed and kissed me. When he let me go I stood up and he said "Sorry, but you usually never can hold back when I kiss you.". I said "I know but you had no right to do that to me now. I love zara and i'm not going to hurt her and i promised her kids that i wouldn't hurt her. You can't just kiss me like that Jared.". he looked down and said "I'm sorry." I sat back down on the bed next to him and said "It's okay." then we desided to talk about something else and then he said "And how does Nicky take it? That his two love interests are together.". I laught and said "It so totally turnes him on! This morning when he saw us kiss he just sat there drooling and then I asked him why and he said that it was hot and then to his defene he said that you would probobly think it was hot to.". Jared laught and said "Well it is kind of hot but still I would rather be Zara in that case. I knew it would turn him on, he isn't so prudish as he seems, he is a horndog.". I alguth and said "Nicky is everything but prudish. He is a real horndog but he is a great man none the less just like you are Jared.". He smiled and said "Thank you." I smiled and then we just started to talk about everything else and we lost track of time and then Krisen called for us from downstairs so we went down and she siad "Well. I was thinking that we should have a family dinner tonight since we are all happy with each other now so madde if you would talk to Sara, niklas and zara adn tell them to come over tonight. And why not invite Nicky too.". i smiled and said "that sounds great!!! I'll give Zara a call riht away!". then i called her and she said that they would be over around 18.00 and then I called Nicky who was on his way back from swimming with the kids. He said that he would love to come and then we said goodbye and hung up.

All of the sudden Tove came down the stairs and I walked over to her and gave her a hug, she looked at me and said "I thought you hated me for yesterday.". I said "I don't hate you, I just hate what you did but I can't be angry with you." then jensen rolled over and Tove gave him a kiss and I said "i see you have worked things out.". Jensen smiled and said "Yepp we have." he looked really happy and I got really curious why but i thought it would seem stupid to ask so i just smiled at him and said "we are going to have a family dinner tonight and sara, niklas, zara and nicky are coming. Dunno if the kids are comign though.". they smiled and said "Taht sounds great!" then I said that I ahd to go upstairs and get ready for dinner. I put on that super sexy dress that Tove bough for me when i didn't have any money and a pair of beautiful black high heels and then I did my make up and fixed my hair and after about an hour I was done and went downstairs from where I smelled food. i felt how hungry I was and walked into the kicthen were Johan was cooking and jared setting the table. none of them had seen me so I said "God it smells great! I'm starving!". Both of them looked at me and just stared and then johan said "Wow you look like a million dollars!" I smiled and then Jared said "No like a trillion dollars.". I laught and said "thank you guys. You don't think I'm over dessed do you?" Jared walked over to me and took my hands and looked at me from top to toe and said "no way, you look amazing!". I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek and said "Thank you." then we heard jensens voice behind us saying "Jared where do you want the glasses?". I turned around and faced him and he dropped one of the glasses but it didn't break thankfully and I picked it up and said "Be careful jensen ackles.". He said "oh my god! You look amazing!" I smiled and said "Thank you." then I put the glass on the table and said "Now continue with what yuo were doing and I'll be in the livingroom.". Before i left i said to johan "Ehm, i think you should take care of the food now becaure it get burned.". He turned back to the food and cursed and I just laught and walked into the livingroom where My was watching tv. She looked at me and siad "wow you look beautiful." I smiled and said "Thank you my." then I sat down next to her and watched tv with her. All of the sudden jared walked in with a glass of red wine in his hand and he said "You can't look like that and not have a glass of wine in your hand so here you go.". I smiled and said "Thank you jared." then my said to jared "Doesn't she look beautiful?". He looked at me and said with a smile "She looks incredibly beautiful." I smiled and felt my cheeks redden and I said "okay now you stop becuase you are making me blush.". he smiled and kissed my cheek and left the room. Then My said "i think you should be together with Jared instead of Zara." I looked at her and said "well you can't choose who you fall in love with but i think jared agrees with you honey.". She said "That is stupid. I'm never going to fall in love, it's stupid.". i said "Falling in love is an amazing feeling and I bet that you don't want to miss that. You don't want to miss when your hearts starts to pound faster just because you hear the persons name, you don't want to miss to feel how amazing it feels when the person looks into your eyes and tells you how much he or she loves you and you don't want to miss your first kiss. Being in love is the best feeling in the world and to know that the person you feels so much for loves you exacly the same is even better. You don't want to miss that, I promis you that.". She said "But Tove and jensen is in love but still they broke up and hurt each other.". I said "I know darling but being in love is hard too because it hurts much more when someone you love makes something bad than if a person you don't know would do the same thing. Being in love has it's ups and it's downs but mostly ups and if you truly love the person adn can go through the pain then you can go through anything. And honey, if you can live through a broke heart and then have the guts to give it away again then you can live through anything.". She smiled and said "I love you Madde." i hugged her and said "I love you too kiddo.".

After awhile it knocked on the door and My ran off to see who it was and soon she came back hand in hand with Nicky. When he saw me he stopped and just looked at me and I gave him a smile and said "I'm glad that you could make it, did you have a good time today with kim and david?". He didn't say anything, he just stared at me and I said "Nicky are you okay??" then he came back to reality and said "WOW! You look.... I can't even say in words how gorgeous you look tonight. Amazing!". My said "jared said incredibly beautiful." Nicky looked at her and then back at me and he said "That doesn't even touch it, she looks even better.". i smiled and said "okay I get it, I look beautiful, thank you. I asked you a question.". He said "Sorry I just can't help it, you are drop dead goregous. but yes I had a really great time with Kim and David today." I smiled and he sat down next to me and he asked "So when is Zara comeing?". I said "Well they should be here any minute now. Dinner is soon done.". He nodded and then he looked at the wineglass and laught and said "is that such a god idea, remember last time at my place?". i laught and thought back to the day before Kian and Shane were going home and we drank wine and how giggley I get when I drink wine. I said "Well good thing then that I just drank one glass now. Jared thouht that I can't look like this and not have a glass of wine in my hand.". nicky smiled and said "Well he is right." and then he looked me deep in the eyes and put a hand on my thigh. Somehoe it felt so wrong and then I heard the doorbell ring and I left Nicky in the sofa and went over to the door and opened it and there was Sara, zara and Niklas. Zara looked at me and said "Oh my god! Honay you look so amazing!!" she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. When our lips parted I smiled and said "You look great too." and she huffed and said "not like you.". Then she walked over to nicky who was now standing behind me and gave him a hug and she siad "Doesn't Madde look amazing!?". he smiled and said "Yes she does." then we heard Johan say "dinner is served.". I smiled and took Zaras hand and we all walked into the kitchen and took our seats.

We had a great dinner and we talked alot and laught alot but it was so hard to keep my hands off Zara and she did have a hard time keeping her hands off me too becuase her hand was resting on my thigh all the time. we kissed a few times and then I couldn't take it any more, we had just finshed eating all of us and I took Zaras hand and excused us for a moment and we went up to my room and as soon as we walked in zara kissed me and after kissing for a few mintues i said "The pool.". Zara smiled and she borrowed a bikini from me and she looked so fuking sexy but she told me that I did too. We walked downstairs and some of them had moved into the livingroom and when we walked through the livingroom nicky said "What are you going to do? take a swim?". I gave him a cheesy smile and said "yeah." and then I stroke Zaras ass and we walked over to the edge of the pool and dived in. It was really warm in the water but pretty cold in the air but we didn't care. Zara looked so sexy in the water and I couldn't keep my hands off so I pushed her against the edge of the pool and kissed her. I felt how her hands stroke my back and arms and how our tougnes played with each other. Then suddenly her hand moved lower and lower on my stomach and she started to caress me down town. It felt soooooo good and I started to breath more shallow and I closed my eyes and she kissed my neck with her wonderful lips and it sent shivers down my spine. I smiled and moaned and opened my eyes and looked into the house were every guy in the whole house was looking out and when they saw that I saw them they just looked away or ran off. I smiled and kissed Zara who put her hand inside my bikinipanties and put a few fingers in me and it was amazing!! I moaned with pleasure and she smiled and kissed my neck and moved her fingers. After a while I came and it felt sooo fucking good that it was insane!!!! I kissed her and put my hand inside her panties and caressed her and she moaned and stroke my back and moved one hand to my boob and started to caress it. I put a few fingers in her and satrted to move at the same time as I kissed her neck and chest. She moaned louder and I started to move my fingers faster and after aittle while she came and then we just kissed and taled for a while and then we went inside again and zara went to the bathroom and I joined the family in the kitchen where they ahd moved abck to. I couldn't erase the smile I had on my face and Nicky asked "Had a good swim?" I smiled and said "The best kind!". Then jared said "You had sex!?" I couldn't help but laugh because he was in such shock that it was crazy and the look on his face was priceless!!! I said "Yes we had sex, what does that have to do with you. We have said that we are together and couples usually have sex. right?". Everyone stared at me and then Zara came back and gave me a kiss and we went upstairs to change into our clothes again and then we joined the people in the kitchen.

We had a really good night but after a few hours the clock started to get late and Zara looked really tired we desided that it was time to go back to saras and niklas. Me, zara, niklas and sara said good night and I hugged everyone and said that I would be back tomorrow then we left. Me and zara didn't really feel like going with sara and niklas so we took my lambo and zara said "Can't I try and drive it?". I looked at her like she was crazy and said "No way!!" she looked at me with sad eyes and said "Why not?" I said "because even though I love you so much I will not let you drive my baby. Sorry honey but I'm driving. I don't let anyone drive my car.". She said "But Nicky has." I sighed and said "Because I know that he is a good driver but he was not so good with the lambo either so he is not allowed to drive it anymore either. The only person I would let drive this car is Criss Angel becuase he owns a Lamborghini.". After that the atmosphere wasn't so good but I will not let her drive my car even though I love her so much. She even said that i love my car more then her but I just love them in different ways.

Anyway when we got back to niklas and saras appartment we went to bed and I started to blog and here I am but now zara wants me to put the computer away so I guess I have to listen to my girlfriend. See ya!

Take care
Love
Madde