Drama of the day..

Hey guys!

Well this day have been a lot of talking and a little yelling and a lot of other things.. and it ended with a lot of crying..

Well let's start from the beginning of the day shall we?
I woke up next to my wonderful boyfriend also called Jensen, he was still asleep and he lookde so peaceful and beautiful :) I lied there looking at him and I touched his cheek with my fingers tips and I could feel his stubble under my fingers and I got all warm inside of touching him and watching him and it tingled in my stomach in a good way and I smiled to myself and whipserd so qiut so I wouldn't wake him up " I love you so much " Then all the sudden he opend his mouth and said " I love you too" I smiled and pressed my lips agianst his and kissed him and when they parted he opend his amazing green eyes and looked at me and then I just mealted. He smiled and pulled me closer to him so I could feel his body aginst mine, I smiled and so did he and he started to kiss me really romantice and it was so great. My hand ran over his goreguse cheast and abs and he started to kiss me with more eager then ever, and his toung was playing with mine and I kissed him back with the same eager, and it was so great! his hand got under my top and he strok my back and then his hand got to my frontside and started to carness my own boob and he massage it gently with his hand and he played with my nipples with his fingers and it was so good and it made me really worked up! I sat up a little and so did he and he pulled of my top and I lie down agian and he started to kiss my neck gently and I could feel his tonuge on my neck and his lips wander down on my boob and he kissed it and his tongue moved to my nipple and started to play with it and I moan a little and he smiled and countinued with my nipple. Then he kissed my stomach and his hand touch my side and then got inside of my pantis and he stared to gently carness me and it was so good and I started to moan a little but not so load. He smiled and pulled of my pantis and I spread my legs and he put a few fingers inside of me and started to slowly move his fingers inside of me and it was so go and everytime he move inisde of me I could feel that I got more and more worked up. I moan and played a ittle with my nipple which made it even better!! Then he started to use his tounge and I moan more and more and I I was so close and I know he knew that so he made it even better for me and after a minut I sreamed with pleasure and came and it was so amazingly good!!!! He kissed my boobs agian and then my lips and I got on top and kissed him and I had my thigh pressed against his beast and I could feel that it was all reday a little hard, so I kissed his cheast and put my hand inside of his boxers and started to carness it and he moan a little and I strok his abs with my other hand. Then all teh sudden we heard someone knocking on the door and opend it. I couldn't see who it was since I was under the cover, but then I heard mums voice saying " Sorry! " I crawled up from teh cover and looked at her and asked what she wanted, she said " I wanted you guys to watch over My for an hour or so.. but you seemed busy" I looked at Jensen and we started to laugh and so did mum and Jensen of course said " Yes we would love to do that" I looked at him like he was crazy but he just ignored me and mum said " Thank you Jensen. " Then she left and I stared to get dressed and looked at him angry he smiled and said " Honey I will make it up to you later, sinec I'm getting rid of the casts today. " Then I smiled and said " Yeah that's right but I have to say I miss the hotel" He smiled and I gave him a kiss and then My walked throw the door and she smiled and gave me a hug and Jensen and lied down in the bed and so did I we tured on teh tv and watched the Disney channel. Then I remebered that I wanted to talk to Madde so I said to My and Jensen that I would be back in a while then I left.

I knocked on Madde and Jareds door and I didn't wait for an answer so I walked inside and they where lieing in the bed and Madde had her head on Jareds cheast. I smiled because they looked so cute and walked over to them and they said good morning and I sat down n the bed and asked if they have had a good night, Madde smiled and said " Oh yeah a really good night" " I shooked my head and smiled and then I looked at Jared and said " Do you mind if I talk to Madde alone? " He said " No of course not. I can go and help that fucking lug of yours " I laughed and said " Yeah do that, but Jared enjoy it since it proably is almost the last time since the casts is getting of today " He said " YAY!!! I can't wait " Me and Madde laughed and Jared walked up from the bed and got dressed a little and gave Madde a kiss and left the room. I took Jareds place in bed and lied down next to Madde and looked at her and took her hand and said " I'm so sorry if it feelt like I abandon you I never meant to do that. I just thought you wanted Nicky instead of me and I was just stupid like always.. But I will always be here for you now even thougt we have diffrents opitions or I even hate what you have done I will always be here for you when you want to talk, or just cry or anything I'm here everyday, every minut, every second. I hope you can forgive me for all this month? " A tear ran down her cheek and she said " of course I forgive you I love you. I just wanted you to know how I feelt and I wanted you to say that you would always be there for me from now on. " I said " Thank you, and I love you too so much! And I will always be her because you are my best friend and my sister and I can't be without you and I want things to be like they use to be " Madde said " I know and I will always be theer for you" I smiled and dryed her tears away with my finger. I sat up and so did she and I gave her a big hug and she hugged me back and it was so good, and I said " I'm glad you told me. " She said " Yeah well we have a deal" I smiled and kissed her cheek and we let go of each other and I asked what she was going to do today, she said " I don't know.. hang out with Jared I think, you? " I smiled and said " You two are so cute! Well I think I will go over to Zara and see how she is doing since I think she is feeling a little lonley, then I'm going to go to teh hospital with Jensen, and then I will have a lot of sex with him on top!" Madde laughed and so did I and she said " That's sounds good!" When we had laughed for a while I said " So do think we should go and see what the guys are up to pluse My? " She smiled and said " Yeah let's do that!" Madde got up from bed and got dressed and we walked downstairs.

We found all three of them sitting in the kitchen and i walked over to Jensen and gave him a kiss and Madde walked over to Jared and gave him a kiss and Jared looked at her and said " Are you okay? You look like you have been crying" Madde looked at me and smiled and then at Jared and said " I'm more then okay " I smiled and took a glass of juice and sat down next to Jensen. Where all five of us talked and laughed and had a great time.
Then I walked upstairs and took a shower and got dressed and said good bye to Jensen and walked outside and took a walk to Sara and Niklas place. I knocked on teh door and Ida opend I smiled and asked where Zara was and she said cute " Which S(Z)ara?" I laughed and then Zara walked out from tke kitchen and smiled when she saw me and I said " That Zara " Ida nooded and ran into the livingroom again and watched Tv. I walked over to Zara and gave her a hug and we walked into the kitchen and I asked where Niklas and Sara where and she said they where out on a walk and Zara was watching Ida. I smiled and said " So how are you feeling? Loney? " Zara laughed and said " Yeah acutally do, I miss having Madde in my bed because I hate sleeping alone. I miss haning out with her too " I said " I understand that because I also hate sleeping alone, and you, me, Sara and Madde should do something togehter some day really soon" Zara smiled and said " yeah I would love that. " I smiled and then it knocked on teh front door and before Zara or me almost reactied it opend and Nicky walked in and walked straight towards us. Zara smiled and said " Hello Nico! What's up?" He stooped infront of Zara and looked at her serious and said " Zara I want you back. " Both me and Zara just stared at him and then Zara stood up and stared to yell at him " Do you think you can just come here and take me back when ever you want just because Madde choosed Jared?!! huh?! I will not be anyones consolation prize!! " Nicky said " I love you and that is why I want you back. " Zara said " So you mean if Madde would have walked over to you tomorrow and said she had changed her mind and wanted you instead then you would say no?!" Nicky didn't get the chance to answer that because David walked up from his room and he looked scared and he looked at them and said " mum, dad why ar eyou fighting? " Zara looked at him and said " Me and dad just need to talk a little alone. " Then she took a grip of Nickys hand and pulled him outside and closed the front door behind them. David still looked so scared, I walked over to him and gave him a hug and said " Don't worry everything will be okay.." A tear ran down his cheek which he fast dried of and I looked at him and said " Do you want to play a game or something? " He said " Yeah can't we play Diamantjakten?" I smiled and said " Of course we can." He smiled and we walked into his room and sat down in his bed and started to play and we had a great time and we laughed and talked and he won like every time. Then he looked at me and said " Do you think mum and dad will get back together? " I looked at him and said " Honey I don't know.. you should ask them that.. " He said " But maybe they will get angry if I ask that? " I said " I promise they won't.. but maybe they don't really know themself either. But whatever happends David things will work out in someway and what I do know is that your mum and dad love you guys the most in the whole world and that will never change. " He smiled and we countinued playing the game. After a while Zara knocked on the door and walked in, she looked at us and smiled and sat down next to David on the bed and strok his blonde hair with her hand and said " I'm sorry that you had to see that.. " David nooded and Zara said " I sit okay if I borrow Tove because I need to talk to her?" He nooded and Zara said " Good, and aftre me and Tove have talked then you and me will talk if you want too? " David smiled a little and said " yes I want to talk." Zara smiled and kissed his cheek and I got up from his bed and me and Zara walked towards the door and before we left David smiled and said to me" You will be a great mum " I couldn't keep myself for smiling and I said " Thank you David. Love you kiddo!" He smiled and said " Love you too" Then me and Zara left and closed the door and walked into her room and sat down on the bed. She said " You know he is right, you will be a wonderful mum " I laughed and said " Yeah thanks. " Zara smiled and then I said " So what happend? " She sign and said " I asked him that qustion that he didn't answer when you where there and he didn't answer so I took that as a no. Then he said that he started to get more and more feelings for me again and that he really wanted me back and I said that I wanted to be sure that he really means that because I don't want to be choosed second just because he can't have Madde, I want to have a man that things that I'm the most importent thing in the whole world and I want to feel loved and not scared of losing him again. And if he really wants me back he have to try to showe me that for real. I still can't belive he thinks he can just come over here and say that he wants me back and get what he wants right the way! That just makes me angry that he thinks that I'm taht easy and that I don't deserve more! Especially since he knews how hard it is for me to trust people after my growth and I'm use to been taking for granted like I didn't meat anything or was worth anything and what Nicky did now it feelt like in the same way, and that just makes me angry and sad. But after yeeling at him and he trying to convince me that he loves me and is in love with me, I agreed that we was going to take things really slow and start haning out more maybe a few dates and so on. Because I still love him so much but I don't know what to do. I told him that I wanted to be sure that he would neveer hurt me like that again, and if Madde and Jared broke up in a year or two or more I want to be sure that he won't just leave me again for her. So like I said we are going to start taking it really really slow and see what happends. " I nooded and said " I understand that you feel angry and disappointed at him now for what eh just did and I don't blame you, but just take it really slow and don't let him hurt you again. " She nooded and said " I will take it slow, because I would never be abel to get that hurt again. " I nooded and she said " Please let me tell Madde that we are going to start seeing each other or what I now can call it again.. I hope she won't get angry.. becaue I need her she is an amazing friend and I don't ever want to lose her again. " I said " I understand that you should tell her and I think she will be... okay.. she have Jared " Zara said " I hope so.. " I gave her a hug and said " Maybe you should go and talk to David now he was pretty worried. " Zara said " Yeah I should, thanks for listing" I said " No problem anytime. " Zara smiled and then she said " can you ask Madde to call me today? " I nooded and said " Sure thing" Then I gave her another hug and we said good bye and I walked home.

When I got home I found Jensen in teh livingroom with Madde and Jared and I walked over to them and gave Jensen a kiss and Madde and Jared a hug and sat down. Madde asked how Zara was doing, I said " OKay I think.. she want's you to call her or come over today. " Madde said " Okay I will, is something wrong? " I looked at Jensen instead of answering and said " We should go to teh hospital now" Jensen nooded and before Madde got the chance to say anything we left the room and walked out to car and drove to the hospital. We took teh elavtore up and this time we didn't got stuck in it, then we sat down in teh wating room and Jensen put his ram around my shoulders and kissed my cheek I smiled and said " You have no idea how long I have waitit for this" He laughed and said " I think you have been longing more then me " I said " I think so too " Then he kissed me and I lead my head againt his shoulder and he lead his head on my head and we sat there for like ten minuts then we got to come in. We said hello to his doctor Sam, and he asked if Jensen was ready to say good bye to his casts, Jensen looked at me and smiled and said " Oh yeah, I can't eb more ready" He laughed and said " Let's get going then , shall we? " Jensen nooded and he started to saw his cast on his arm off and when he finally got it off he told Jensen to bed his fingers a little which he did and Sam said that was good. Then he stared to saw his cast of his leg and after 5 minust it was off too. And Sam feelt on his arm and then leg and he siad it looked good but he had to take it really careful this week but at the same time use the arm and leg and try to walked on it and put weaight on it carefully. Jensen nooded and we said thank you and both of us WALK out of there but Jensen had his arm around my shoulder as a little support and we took the elvatoer down stairs and walked slowly to the car and I stared to drive home. He put his hand on my thigh and gave me a cheesy smile and said " So what are we going to do when we get home? " I just smiled and then I looked at the road again.

When we was home I helped Jensen inside and we meet Madde and Jared in the hallway and they smiled and Jared said " Finally you can get yoursef upstairs " We laughed and walked upstairs and Jensen sat down on the bed and I locked the door and walked over to him and sat down astraddle over his lap and I stared to kiss him and he kissed me back with even more eager then this morning and his hand got inside of my top and I could feel how he unhooked my bra and his hand touched my boobs gently and he played carefully with my nipples, and it was so good. I stared to kiss his neck and I ran a hand throw his hair and I took a bit in his earlob and then I kissed hie amazing neck again! Then I pulled his shirt over his head and throw it on the floor and I strok his cheast with my hand and touched his nipples a little, then he pulled my top of and my bra and started to touch my boobs with both his hands and play with my nipples that was all stiff, and it feelt so good!! I could feel how wet I got and then he lied down on teh bed and pulled me down with him and stared to kiss me again, while my hands undid his jense and my hand slowly moved inside of his boxers and I carness his beast a little and it started to grow, then I pulled out my hand and touched his abs and then he rolled us around so got on top and he looked at me and smiled and I smiled back and he stared to kiss my neck, my shoulder my collor bone and then his lipes reached my boob and he stared to kiss it and then his tonuge staretd to lick my nipple and play with it and it feelt SOOOO good!! I moan a little and his hands strok my sides and then they unbutton my jeans. Then he kissed my stomach and then he looked at me and smiled and pulled my jense off and throw them away. And then he geantly took of my pantis and he touche my thighs and spead my legs a side and he pressed a few fingers inside of me and he staredt to move and I stared to moan of pleasure beacause it was so good! He stared to move faster and I started to breath faster and heavier. Then he stopped and his head good between my legs instead and he started tou use his tonuge on me and it was so unbeliveble, I just wanted to feel his big beast inside of me!! I moan and moan and when I was wet enough he stopped and kissed my stomback and then the way up to my lips and his tonuge was playing with mine and then he rolled us around agian so I got on top. I smiled and kissed his cheast and and abs and then I pulled his jeans off and then his boxers and his beast was al reday pretty hard. I smiled and started to genatly use my own hand slowly. He moan quietly and I strok the inside of his thigh with my other hand and then I started to go even faster and me moan more and he stared to breath more shallow and I stooped after a while and started to use my tonuge insted on it and he moan even more and I could feel that he got bigger and bigger insied of my mouth so I countinued. When he was hard enough I kissed my way up to his lips and kissed his neck and then his lips again. then he rolled us around so he was on top agian. Then he spred my legs more and pressed his big beast inside of me and I moan really load of pleasure and he started to move a little faster and it was soooo good that I can't even describe it!! I strok his amazing back with my hands and I moan load and said " God what I have missed this!" He smiled and started to kiss me and hsi hand carness my boobs and nipples and it was so good and it just made me even more worked up!! I strok his ass and stopped there for a while just to feel is amazing ass and then I strok his back again. He kissed my neck and moved slowly and everything was just so good!!! I really wanted to come because it was so good and I couldn't keep it inside of me anymore so I moan loud " Faster!!" He looked at me and smiled and did as I said and he staredt to move faster and i started to moan louder and breath faster and so did he, and it was so goo dto have him on top!! I was pretty close and I strok Jensens neck and then back and moan even more when he started to even faster!! I closed my eyes, and buried my nails into his neck and I almost screamed of pleaser and then I came and he countined moving so it would last longer. I smiled and so did he and he countinued moving, I strok his ass and took afirm grip off it and he smiled and stared to go even faster and he moan and breath heavier and I could feel that he staredt to get all tense and after a minut he was all tense, and his beast grow even more inside of me andhe moan load and then I feelt that he came inside of me. I smiled and kissed him and he took his beast out of me and lied down next to me and I put my head on his cheast and I was smiling and he said " Wad it good? " I smiled and said " No it wasn't good it was AMAZING!!! " He smiled and kissed my hair and there we lied for a while cuddling.

Then it was dinner time and we got dressed and walked down stairs and everone was all reday sitting at the table and they smiled when they saw Jensen walkeing and we sat down and started to eat. Then Jensen smiled and said " I can't belive that I was teh only one who figered Madde and Zara out! You suck guys, and I rule!" I laughed and Jared said " Well it's not that easy and it's not like you wheren sure about it" Jensen said " It was easy because it was Zara and Madde and I was sure fro the first day" Jensen was so happy about himself and Jared just gave him an angry look and Jensen just smiled back, I laughed and kissed his cheek.

When dinner was over me and Jensen walked upstairs and Jensen sat down on the bed and I looked at myself in the mirror and said " I hate beeing pregnate!" Jensen laughed and said " What is wrong now then? " I tured around and looked at him and said irrateted" That it feels like I'm a teenager again!! Because I'm getting pimples again, and I hate it!!" Jensen said " Well it's just liek two and Ican barely see them and you are so beautiful" I just stared a him like he was crazy and then Madde walked into our room and asked if we wanted to join them and watch a movie in there room, me and Jensen nooded and followed Madde to there room and Jared was lieing in bed and we lied down in the bed too. While the guys desided what we was going to watch I asked Madde if she had talked to Zara and she nooded but we didn't got the time to say anything more about that because then they started the movie, so maybe Madde will tell you tomorrow. I lied my head on Jensen cheast and Madde did the same on Jared and it was so cozy it feelt like before when everything was great, I have really missed this. I ate my a whole watermelon under that time and I think everyone got alittle bit annoied but I don't care.
We watched two movies and when they was over we said good night and me and Jensen walked into our room. Then I feelt that I need to eat more watermelon so I told jensen and he followed me down stairs. And the whole house was quit since it was kind of late. We walked into the kitchen I cut a watermelon in half and put the other half in the refrigerator and me and Jensen walked into the livingroom and sat down on the soft rug on the floor infront of the fireplace and Jensen made a fire, and we sat there looking at it in the cold fall night, and it was so romantice and cozy. When I had eated my melon Jensen lied down and looked at the fire and I lied down to and put my hand on his cheast and he strok my hair and we just lied there and it was so beautiful! He kissed my head and said " I love you so much! " I smiled and strok his cheast with my hand and said " I love you too" He took my left hand and looked at the engagedment ring and I looked at him and he had a huge smiled on his face and he looked so happy. We lied there for a couple of hours just the two of us together and happy.

When we got upstairs we got undressed and I put on my sleeping top and we crawled down in the soft warm bed and we was lieing really close and I gave him a kiss abd we said goodnight. I lied my head on his cheast and he turned the light off and we fall a sleep.
But when the time was about four in the morning we woke up because Jensens phone rang and he sat up a little and grabbed the phone and answerd with a tired voice and then he said " What? Calm down I can hear what you are saying mum" I looked at him and after a few seconds it stared to pour down a lot of tears from his eyes and I could see that something bad had happend and he looked so scared and worried. I sat up next to him in the bed and lied my chin down on his shoulder and strok his back and he cried and said to Donna " Yeah, call you later, I love you mum!" Then they hang up and he just stared right into the wall and I lied his phone on the bed and I asked what had happend, he said with a really chooked voice " My grandma.. is death.. " Then he stared to cry for real, I lied my arms around him and huged him and he hugged me back and he cried his eyes out on my shoulder, and we sat there for hours and he cried and cried and I feelt so sorry for him because I know how much Donnas mother or his grandma havr meat for him. When he can calm down a little I looked at him and said " I'm so sorry honey" He nooded and I said " Are you going home? If you want me to come with you I will. " He said " Yeah I'm but just for a few days.. You don't have to come with me" I said " I want to come with you if you feel that you want me there. " He said " I want you there otherwise thsi will just be harder" I strok his cheek and said " Then I will be there, just tell me if it is something I can do.." He sob and said " You are doing it right now, being here for me. " I kissed hie cheek and said " Tomorrw morning the first thing we do is looking for flights" He said sad " That sounds good... " I said " Do you want to try to sleep again or something else? " He said " Try to sleep. " I nooded and gave him a hug and a kiss on his cheek and I was so close to almost crying myself because I feelt so bad for him, and his grandma was a amazing woman I just meet he once but she really was. We lied there and I put my hand on his cheast and took hias hand and strok it, and I could hear that he was crying again, but we just lied there and after an hour he acutally feel alseep.
So then I thought I should blogg in this sad time..
So maybe Madde will tell you tomorrow if we have all reday left to the Usa or when we are leaving..

Well now I'm going to try to get some sleep to after this horible night.. and everything just feels so wrong..
well I hope you gusy will have a better week then we will..
I will do my best to be there for Jensen in anyway he wants' me too.
See ya..
Kisses
Tove..