boys are just boys

Hey ya'll!!

You can never guess what happened today!! It was so great and I just didn't want the day to end!! Omg I can't wait till thursday!! Hehe now I got your attention ;) I'll tell you more about that later ;)

First I have to tell you that i have talked to a sertain guy today, a very hot guy who is a big fucking coward!! Yeah that's right, I had a chatt with henrik this morning. I kind of promised Tove I would talk to him about his banging out on asking her on a proper date so I gave him a call and asked if we could meet somewhere. He was at work but told me to meet him at the same café as we kissed eath other for the first time, if you remember ;) Anyway I made my way there in my beautiful Lambo and when I parked it outside of the café there was a whole bunch of guys checking the car out and then when i got out they just looked with big eyes on me and then the car and then me again and all of them just started to whistle. It was pretty darn nice you know ;) Well henrik was waiting for me inside and I could tell that he was a bit jealous because of all the attention I got and responded to but I don't mind boys checking me out. Anyway he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and we sat down and ordered a cup of coffee and he asked me what i wanted to talk about. I asked him the things that Tove wanted me to ask, like why he is such a coward that he didn't ask her out on a date. He just looked at me and went "yeah well, it's not so easy to just ask her out" and I just didn't know what to say, I was like "why is that so hard???" i must have looked like a huge questionmark because he just bursted out laughing. Between fits of laughter he said "Well, I am her doctor and I kind of like her and i don't want her to say no". but I just told him that if he doesn't ask her out on a proper date then he will never find out how she truly feels about him. And that if he is afraid of getting a "no" then he shouldn't date at all. When we had talked for like an hour he had to get back to work, but before I left he gave me a hug and wisperd in my ear "God damn, you looked sooo fucking good in you underwear the other day that I was wondering if i should go to your room insted. And i wouldn't mind getting a ride from you in that lambo of yours.". i just smiled and raised an eyebrow, gave him a quick kiss and turned my back to him. Have you ever done that? get a man all worked up and ready to jump you and then you just trun your back to him and walk away? you should try sometime because it feel so good!!! I don't know why but maybe it's just because I'm a bit sadastic or what ever :P hahahhaha

Anyway when i walked out and walked over to my Lambo I saw a guy stanin with his back turned to me and he was touching my car!! i hate it when people i don't know touch my new lambo so I got pretty angry but i shouldn't have because if I would have looked closer i would have know in an instant who the guy was. But did I? No! :P So i walked over to him and told him to back of from my car and then he just truned around and looked into my eyes with his amazing blue eyes and I could feel how my face turned all red and then I just bursted out laughing and so did he. He gave me a hug and asked if I wanted a ride home, then i just looked at him like "It's my car, i should ask if YOU want a ride home, not the other way around" and he then he asked if it was okay if he could drive. I mean, I'm not the one who just gives away my new car to people although it's Nicky. But then he gave me that fucking smile of his and made the nicky-look so i just gave him the keys because I know that's it's not good driving under the influence. Even though the influence is just caused by a nicky-look. He looked like a 9 year old on christmas when he sat down behind the wheel and put the keys in. I felt really really nervous because he has never driven a lamborghini before and now he is going to drive mine!! But he did great but then I noticed we weren't driving the correct way. I asked him where we were going because he said earlier that we were going home. he just looked at me and smiled but didn't answer me, I didn't know what to do. I mean first he just left really early this morning saying he was going home to get some clean clothes and to see Zara and then he turnes up at the café he didn't know I was going to and now he was driving me and my Lambo off somewhere. I just though of one thing to ask him "So this is when you finelly desided that the best thing to do is to drive me off somewhere so you can kill me" he just laught and let go of the steering wheel with his right hand and grabbed mine. I must have surprised him alot because I pushed it away and looked at him with and angry look and told him to keep his hands on the wheel. Then I finelly understood what i had done and asked him for forgivness and that he just scared me and that i want him to have total focus on the car and the road. he just smiled and looked at the road and did as I asked.

When he finelly pulled the car over and parked we were at a huge field, a place I have never been to before but he seemed to know where we were going because he just took my hand a led me across the field. When we got a bit closer to a sertain spot on the field I saw a picnic basket and we sat down and ate some really great food and alot of tasty fruit. I don't really know whay he did all that for me but i must say it was amazing but at the same time pretty uncomfortable. i don't really think Tove is going to find it all that amusing because she hates it that i'm inlove with nicky and that i ahvn't told him about it. I suppose acording to her nicky is leading me on alittle without knowing it. But anyway we ahd a great time, we ate, laught, talked and just sat for a while to. But then i think I finelly understood why he had diven me all the way over there. he asked me if i was okay and if i still felt lonly and sad or if i was getting better. I told him "I'm fine but yeah sometimes i still feel alittle lonly but it's because i have things going on that i can't really talk about. And if you're wondering about Tove and all that, if I'm still sad about that then i can tell you that i'm fine with it." I could tell he got alittle curious and alittle sad about that whole thing with me feling lonly and not being able to talk about it. He tried really hard to get me to talk about it but I didn't and after aout 2 hours i stated to get abit cold so he lend me his jacket and we laied down in the grass under the sun and just breathed. it was amazing, we stayed there for about 2 more hours and then we had to go back home. And this time i wanted to drive and I suppose i got alittle too excited because i accidently drove the lambo up to a 150 on a 100 stretch of road. Woooops. But both me and Nicky were having a good time, we both love speed and cars so ;)

Anyway, when we got home I thought it was time for me to have that talk with Jensen as I told Tove i would. He and jared were hanging out in the backyard and when I got there jared just pulled me down in his knee and held me thight. It was really surprising but very cozy. I had amost forgot how impulsive and sweet Jared can be, and his hugs are just amazing. It's so nice to feel his strong arms around me again. I had totally forgot I was supposed to talk with jensen untill he suddenly got up and was on his way to leave me and jared alone. I got jareds arms off me and followed Jensen back to his room where I asked him if we could talk. He just said of course and closed the door behind me. We sat down on the bed and I suddenly felt all the disappointment of him sweep over me again. I told him that i couldn't believe what a child he was and that he didn't listen to me in the first place. he just said "yeah well you have no idea how hard it is for me to talk to her! I love her like crazy but it hurts so much to see her with that guy, Henrik, or whatever, and she seems so happy for finding him. She doesn't seem to miss me at all..." I told him that Tove still loves him and that henrik is just a FB and that she do miss him but that he had to forgive her for her misstake. "But she hurt me like hell and eveytime I look at her it hurts so bad" he said. My reply was "Yeah i know, but you have to forgive her, and if you love her and wants her back you really have to make an effort and try your hardest. And for crying out load, next time you talk to her, TALK! Don't be so fucking childish and don't yell at her!!!" He said he would and that he really want her back which I really do believe. He loves her so much and i know that it hurts like hell to see the one you love with someone else but you just have to get by it and try your hardest to be there for the one you love. So now I just hope he will talk to her and I really really hope that Tove wont be such a child and start yelling as well!! You hear that!? Talk to him don't yell at him!!

Well as you may guess I met Eddie today as well. I suppose it's pretty ahrd not to see him since he is living in the same house but I would really like it if it was possible not to meet him. And just like last time i met him in the kitchen, this time he acctually spoke to me. "Hi madde how are you doing?" I didn't really know what to say, i mean I don't really want to say anything to him and now he starts to talk to me, I just stood there but then I figured that must look really stupid so i just said that i was fine but hungry. "i can make you a sandwich if you want." he said. I couldn't believe my ears!!! i was like "No thank you!" and tried to walk past him to the fridge but he just grabbed my arm and pulled me near him!!! I just couldn't believe him!!! and then he wispered "Are you free later or what?". But after that I heard a voice behind me that is like a God-sent gift! "Get your hands off her!" Nicky took one step closer and Eddie let me go. I just turned and faced him and planted a fist in his face. Then i took Nickys hand and left. The thing is, I shouldn't have taken Nicos hand because when we left the kitchen we met Jared who looked at us and then at our hands and I could tell how disappointed he got. I didn't know what to do, I mean we aren't together but i still love him and I don't want to see him get hurt. But at the same time it's not his business who I hold hands with. i just let him walk away but what i really wanted to do was to follow him. Why is guys so diffecult!? I don't understand!!

Okay back to something alittle more fun ;)
Earlier this evening I was on my way to have a swim in the pool so I had put on my bikini and had a towel over my arm. Nicky had gone home to fix some things and hang out with Zara so I didn't relly have anything to do. And trying to talk to jared is something I have to wait with because talking to him now will only make it worse. So i went to the pool by myself and when i had been swimming for a while I heard a voice by the edge and looked up at Tims face. "Do you want some company?" he asked and i never say no to company from a pretty gorgeous guy. And man he looked great in those bathing shorts. he has a really great body but i suppose you get one of those if you work as a builder ;) Anyway, he got in and we had a really good time. And Tove, i just flirted alittle with him!!! i promis. But he on the other hand... ;) OMG!! Thank god i don't have feelings for him and some restrains anyway :P hahahhahah otherwise i would have jumped him right there and then. We stayed in the pool for like 2 hours and then when I said I had to go and fix some stuff with the car he stayed for a while in the water. He was so totally checking me out when I got up and put the towel around me. ;) Kinky

Like I said, i was going to fix some stuff with the car, like check the oil and some other stuff. So I put on a white top and a pair of jeans shorts and went out to the garage to check on my baby. When I had worked on the car for a while and gotten abit dirty then Tim was there again. This time he asked me if i needed any help but like I said earier, i don't really like when other poeple touch my car so I just told him no and continued to work. i don't think anyone though of me as the kind of girl who likes to work with cars and get dirty but i must say that i totally love it!!! It's so much fun and it gives you time to think about alot of stuff, it's amost as fun as driving :P hahaha And i think Tim had alot of fun watching me work, he talked alot to and i don't think we have ever talked so much. he asked me a few things wbout the car, like where stuff was and how they worked so I showed him and told him. Yeah we had a very good time pretty much and bonded in a totally different way then we have ever done before.

BTW!! I just figured out that this is my last inlay from Sweden for a whole week!!! I'm going to Sligo with Nicky on Thursday!!! Omg i can't believe it!! Can't wait!! He is spending tonight at home with Zara so that he can pack all the things he is going to bring with him and then he is spending tomorrow night at home with her too so that he can pack the last few things on Wednesday morning and then me and Tove are going oick him up so that we can go. I am going to blog from Sligo ofcourse and tell you all about the great things we are going to do. Let me tell you alittle of what we have planned. First, on Thursday when we get to Dublin, we are going to stay at the Brooks Hotel in Dublin, we are just going to settle in and go out and eat some dinner and just have fun. Then on Friday me and Nicky are going to spend all day shopping, you know my birthday present from him. On Saturday we are going to do the Dublin tour so that i can see some more of Dublin and then on Sunday Shane is coming to pick us up in his chopper which is going to take us to Sligo. I have never flewn a chopper before so it's going to be pretty cool I must say but at the same time i'm going to be so terrified!! As you know, I hate flying! :P But when we get to Sligo we are just going to chill and have fun and then we are going back to Sweden on Thursday next week. It's going to be great :D I can't wait!!!

Well, I don't really have anything more to write. I suppose i should go and try to talk to jared and then i have to pack alittle bit more and then spend some time with Tove before i leave.

See you'll in Sligo!!!
take care!!
Love
Madde