last day...

Dia dhuit mo cara!!!

Time really flies when you are having fun!! It's already wednesday and Nico and I are going home tomorrow. I'm going to miss Ireland, Dublin and Sligo so much. All the amazing people and especially Shane and Gillian + kids, Kian and jodi, Mark and Kevin and ofcourse Mae and Peter Filan. Really amazing people!!! Love you loads!

This isn't only my last inlay from Sligo but also my last inlay before the weekend, because as Tove wrote yesterday we are all going to gothenburg for Lennart and Patriks wedding. It's going to be great, I love weddings but the thing is I always love to look at the brides dress but now there is no bride... So that kind of suck, but that means I'm not going to have to put on such a beautiful dress to look good enough :P ahahah No, I'm just kidding, I don't have that good confidence, hahah. :P I have a problem though, I don't have a date. Tove has already taken henrik and Nicky is abandoning me for Zara... But I got a call from Tim earlier and he asked me if i wanted to go with him. I havn't said yes or no yet because I thought I might ask jared but he said he wouldn't get to Sweden in time because on friday he had a meeting concerning a new movie... And I hate to go on things like weddings alone because of all the wierd questions you get so I'm actually considering going with Tim. It's might be fun, I mean he is a really funny guy and he is sweet and good-looking and I don't really have anyone else to o with so i think I'm going to call him ant tell him I'm going with him. I just hope he doesn't see it as a real date... And I hope that i wont get so drunk that i will do something stupid because i really really don't want to have sex with him. He doesn't even know what he is doing in bed so :P But the thing is i think I'm going to get pretty wasted becaus I'm going to have to see Nicky and zara together all the fucking time and that hurts like hell so i'd rather be drunk and happy then sober and sad... I can tell you that i'm not really longing for this weekend, it's going to be so much pain on such a beautiful day as a weddingday. I just hope I'm not going to wreck the wedding and desroy everything for Lennart and Patrik. But I'm going to dance with nicky anyway, Zara can say whatever she wants. He has promised me a dance.

There is one thing I have to do though... I have to call Zara or talk to her tomorrow and that is going to be wierd. I'm not going to talk to her about my feelings for Nicky because that is between me and him but I'm going to have to ask her to talk to linus. She has a great hadn with kids and as you may have read in Toves inlay she works with abused kids and helps kids who are having a hard time. And Linus is deffenently having a hard time and he wont listen to either me or Tove so i think Zara is our last way out. Otherwise i hope the old Krisen is coming back with all her rules and shit. I just hope she will help him and that he will listen because he has gone way to far now and I'm getting pretty sick of trying to help him with both his pain for our father, his crush on Tove and ofcourse the drugs!

Let me tell you alittle about yesterday because I really do think you are a bit curious of what happened then. Well me and Nicky in a wierd way woke up really really early, it was like 4.30 and both of us were wide-awake. We are usually very tired in the moring and especially when we havn't gone to bed before the clock turned 2. So we had been sleeping for about 2.5 hours and wasn't sleepy what so ever. But the bed was really warm and non of us wanted to move so we just lied there, me with my head on his chest and my arms wraped around him and him stroking my arm and side with his fingertips. When we had been lying there for about an hour we both were straving so with out waking anyone else in the house we made ourselfs some breakfast and went out to the porch to eat it. The weather was amazing!! The sun was shining and it was really warm but the thing that was most amazing was the veiw and the smell. It smelled so fresh and light and to see the mountains and everything around... WOW it's incredible!!! When we had finished our breakfast we just sat there enjoying eath others company and then all of the sudden Nicky broke the silence and asked "So what do you say about a walk this morning?" I couldn't do anything else then say "That sounds amazing. I could really use a good walk." so then we were off.

Because of the early hour there were no people out what so ever, although it's a weekday and people work we didn't see anyone. But okay, there aren't so many living around here but still. Anyway, the walk was just to good to be true, not just because nicky walked next to me holding my hand but the scenery, the weather and just everything was... I can't even put it in words. When we had walked for about 50 minutes we reached a cliff and looked over the sea. it was just so unbeliveble!! So beautiful! We stood there for awhile before I broke the silence. "So, just two more days and then we have to go home..." "yeah i know. I've had a really great time with you and I wish we could stay for a few more days, but we can't and i miss zara alot so I kind of long home for that reason. We have to do it again though." he said. I could feel my heart drop when we said he missed Zara but what did I expect? ofcourse he misses her, she is his girlfriend and although i love him more then i haev ever loved someone I have to accept it. But then he said "You want to know why I have enjoyed this so much without Zara?" I didn't really know what i wanted him to say but i just hoped it was something good, I told him "sure" and he said "You are an amazing woman Madde and I love you very much. And you have given me so much back and there is something about you, even though you're very tough you are at the same time so sweet and loving. And being on this trip with you has been so fun, we have seen so much and you have never said no to any wierd ideas me and the lads have had. Zara is like Tove in that way, she would have laught in my face if i told her we should go into that cathedral or play soccer. But you loved it just as much as me although i have seen it a few times already." I gave him a long hug and then looked at him, he was so sincere and honest and his eyes were over filled with it. I didn't want it to be one of those wierd moments so I just said "Yeah well, they are just boring.". Then his face lit up with that gorgeous smile of his and kissed my forehead, he then looked me in the eyes, said "yeah that thay are." and blinked with one of his eyes. He is just so cute. :P

When we got back to Shanes place we noticed we had been gone for quite some time because Gillian had begun making lunch and Mark and Kian was already there. When we walked through the front gate we heard a voice calling from the house and saw Shane standing in the doorway looking at us. "Where have you two been??". We just laught and when we got closer asked if he had been worried sick. He just said "Ha-Ha" and walked infront of us to the kitchen so that we could all sit down together and eat.

The rest of the day we spent with Kian, Shane, Mark and Nicole. We played soccer again, and this time I started to be on Kian and Marks team because Nicole wanted to play with her father and Nicky and Shane has to be on the same team for some reason... Anyway I got abit irritated because I could see Nicky and Shane looking at me and then wisper something, I hate when people do that. So when we had started to play and Kian passed me the ball I ran by Nicole with it but then i heard Kian yell "Behind you!" and then I felt someones hands around my waist and then the ground disappeard from underneath my feet. And then all of the sudden Shane ran by and stole the football! I turned my head at that point to look at nicky because although Shane already had the ball he didn't let me down. When I looked into his face he looked lika a 9 year old on christmas day!!! But then he noticed that Shane needed some help because now it was 2 against 1 because Nicole isn't that good at football. But do you think i let Nicky get away witht hat? ofcourse not! ;) hahahahahhahaha When the match continued and Nicky had the ball i ran over to him and grabed him around the waist and held on. Okay, I'm not strong enough to lift him up but I didn't have to because I just grabed a good hold and draged him down on the ground and the Mark stole the ball and made a goal!!! YAY!! Nicky wasn't so happy though ;) hahahahah It was great fun!

We went to the pub last night and had a great time!! We drank alot of Guinness ofcourse, irish beer for Irish lads and swedish girl ;) hahaha, we played dart and talked to alot of people but mostly eath other. There were alot of guys hitting on my and there was one who was really sweet and really good-looking. I was staning in at the bar ordering a new round of guinness for me and the lads when he came over and we started to talk. We talked for awhile and I think that something would deffently happen but then all of the sudden I get a kiss on the cheek and hears a "There you are baby, are youcoming with the drinks soon or what?" i truned and faced nicky and his eyes was not as they used to. They weren't happy or mischievous, they were just dark... He looked at Simon (they guy I was talking/flirting with) and I suppose Simon got the message because he said "okay, see ye" and left. I got pretty upset because Nicky had no reason to do that! i mean I have all right to talk and flirt with guys because I'm single but he has no fucking reason to be jealous!! Sometimes he drives me crazy because of all the mixed signals he gives me!! Jeez!

Okay let's talk about today. The last day here...

Today we were just hanging out outside playing soccer and playing with nicole and Patrick. But then Kian came up with the amazing idea to go and box! I love boxing so i just said "YES!! PLZ!!" and Nicky followd my lead. So after a few minutes when we had gotten our change of clothes we got into Shanes BMW and left. We worked out for like 2 hours, first we warmed up and started out easy with a few jabs and cross and then we started with upper-cut, a few kicks and some other things. It was great fun and I accidently hit Shane in the face. I didn't mean to but it just happened and then he didn't want to box with me anymore so nicky switshed with him. :P

Now we are just chilling, the lads are watch tv and Nicky is twittering and Gillian took the kids and went to see a friend. I think we all are pretty worn-out after todays work-out so. I'm soon going to join them in the tv-watching but first i have to talk about Jensen and Tove...

If you read Toves inlay then you know that jensen left for L.A today. She gave me a call today after our work-out and we talked for like 2 hours. She is really torn up and I can understand that because they still love eath other. She told me that he had stayed with her last night but that nothing happened. They didn't even sleep. Apparently they had just been lying there talking and missing eath other. I think that at that piont they understood how much they love eath other and how much they are going to miss one another when he leaves. Tove said that it was the best night she had had in a very long time because she got to finelly feel his strong arms around her and lying on his chest and breathing in his scent again after so long. She has been trying to deny that she misses him but I know she does and now when he has left she is feeling an empty hole in her heart that not even Henrik can fill. I'm sorry Tove that thing turned out this way, I'm rooting for you!!

Okay, soo I think I'm going to wrap this up. Me and Nicky are coming home tomorrow, we are flying from Sligo to Dublin around 9 o'clock and then our flight from Dublin to Stockholm leaves at noon so we land in sweden around 15.00.

See ya then!
Take care!
Love
Madde