Visitors, and many of them

Hey everyone!!

well Tove and I are still at the hospital, I'm doing much butter but it still hurts and I'm still having trouble breathing because of my punctured lung but I get morphine so that's good. :) Tove on the other hand is not doing so good, she has alittle more energy but is still having nightmares and is still in pain and her bruises are not looking good. She wants morphine too but she can't have any because of her liver.

Nicky has been here all day today, or he had to go home for like 2 hours or so around 2 but other then that he has been by my side all day. It's so nice to have him here and we talk about everything and nothing, well i suppose you allready know that because Tove wrote that in her inlay. She is getting annoyed with Nico being here all the time, i don't get it. She is really giving me mixed signals because first she says that she is glad that i have him and now she is getting angry because i spend time with him... Well anyway, today she got even more irritated because Nico laid in my bed. well let me tell you from the start, Nico came over pretty early this morning because as you know he is a worrier and when i got shot he doesn't want to leave me too much. So he came over around 10 and both me and him were pretty tired and i could tell he was almost falling asleep in his chair so i made room for him in my bed and he happily crawled down next to me. I rested my head on his chest and we both fell asleep. Then when he had to leave around 2 Tove asked me if it was such a good idea that we did that. I just asked why it wouldn't be and she just said that she was worried it would hurt me. I can't deny that it hurts but i'd rather have it like that then any other way. I'm happy, let me be happy too!

I thought I was going to die today when Nico left because just a few mintues after he left my doctor walked through the door. Just picture the disappointment when you expect it to be Nico again, the most gorgoues guy on earth, and then you see a sleazy italian man with backslick walk through the door. He just smiled at me and said with his disgusting italian accent "So how are you doing today?" I just wanted to throw up and then i looked at Tove and she just smiled and raised her eyebrows! I thought I was going to kill her!!! Then he said he had to check my wound and listen to my lungs, so I had to pull up my shirt! I could feel the chills running down my spine and how his fingers were touching my skin! I just wanted to hit him in the face and run away from there, thank God Jensen walked in then!! Dimitri stopped and looked at him and then he said "Well, everything looks fine, if you need anything you know you can call, any hour of the day" I just nodded and said hello to Jensen who came over and gave me a hug.

You should see how happy jensen is now when he's around Tove. He is smiling all the time and looks at her with such love and care that i have never seen before. The great thing is that Tove is acting the exact same way, i'm so happy! :) If you read Toves inlay yesterday then you know that jensen was doing something for her but I'm nor going to tell you because it's too good for me to ruin so I'm going to let Tove tell you herself ;) It was really sweet and beautiful, I wish someone would do the same for me...

My little brother came by today aswell.... I think you can guess what happened. yeah that's right, he ignored me again. Or he said hi and then turned to Tove at once, luckily Nico was there so i wasn't alone but i could tell that he wasn't to happy about Linus' acting either and Tove was trying her best to do as she said she would yesterday but then he said that he needed to talk to her because he had been having a nightmare about our father and then she went all nice and talked to him. I can't believe she is actually falling for it!! He is 15 years old and I don't think he has nightmares about our father anymore!! I just wish he would grow up and start behaving like a grown up! And Tove plz just stop being so nice to him! he doesn't deserve it!

Jared came by today too when Nico wasn't here. I can't believe he actually ticked off just when Nico wasn't around. anyway, he was really sweet and we talked for awhile and Jensen was here so we tryed to be alittle quiet so that Tove and he could have some alone time. But it was really nice having him there and then he did as Jensen, crawled down next to me and we just laid there for awhile. It was really nice and he smelled so good and to feel his fingers stroke my arms and back was so nice. He has a special way of doing it, noone else can do it like him and I can't even tell yuo what he does but it's not like Johnny, Nico or anyone else for that matter. He is a god at that!! I have missed that alot and to have him here now is really nice.

When we were lying there we started to hear heavy breathing from the other bed so both of us looked up and saw both Jensen and Tove fast asleep with a smile on there faces. We both just smiled for ourselfs and then we heard the door open and there was Henrik. I hate it that he always has to come and disturb when everything is great. I could tell from the look on his face that he wasn't happy to see Tove sleeping on jensens chest and with his arms wrapped around her. But i just wispered to him to leave and come back later because Tove was finally sleeping and by the look of it she wasn't having nightmares. He nodded and left and I went back to focusing on jared and hearing his heartbeat and feeling his abs under my hand.

When Jared and Jensen had left and before Nico came back Pontus arrived. He just said he wanted to see that we were okay, he gave both of us a hug each and then sat down on a chair between our beds. we talked for a while and then Henrik came in and wanted to do that examination on Tove so Pontus moved his chair and sat down next to me. He took my hand and looked me in the eyes and said "You scared the living daylights out of me, why did you do that?" I gave him a shy smile and said "I'm sorry hon, I just couldn't sit back and do nothing." He just shook his head and stood up so that he could lean forward and give me a kiss on the forehead. I have missed him alot and i had alomst forgotten how sweet he can be. i told me to never do that again and then he asked if it hurted alot and I just told him no but that it was because of the morphine. He laught alittle and said "Thank God for morphine huh?" both of us just started laughing and in the corner of my eye I saw both henrik and Tove looking at us. I don't know if it was just imagination or not but i could swear that i saw something in Toves eyes. I don't know what but it was something, maybe she will reveal the mystery behind her eyes. ;)

I have to say that I had alot of visitors today, even Tim came over to check up on us. He was really sweet and due to the warm weather he was wearing his shirt open and showing off his amazing abs!! I couldn't help but looking at them and i could tell that he didn't mind me looking but I really shouldn't because it will only hurt him and i hate that, I have to stop, I have to controll myself, but it's so hard!! But he was really sweet and we had alot of fun talking and both me him and tove laught really hard sometimes but both me and tove started to hurt so we had to stop having so much fun. I hate that I'm not able to laugh and have fun because it hurts and I can hardly breath. Well i suppose it's all my fault and if I hadn't walked out from the hiding place Tommy would never have seen me and I wouldn't lie here right now with a hole in my stomach. Nico and Pontus on the other hand are driving me crazy because all they do is blaming themselfs. Pontus says he should have reacted faster and made sure I went back to Nico and Nicky is saying that he should have stopped me or walked with me and taken the bullet insted of me. You have no idea how angry I got with him when he said that he'd rather be shot then me. I just yelled at him and said that if he was the one who got shot i wouldn't know what to do. He just said that i would but I think i know me better then he does... sometimes he can be such an idiot!

Well, now Tove is getting irritated because she wants to read and then i suppose we will have a talk about everything that's on our minds before anyone else comes and visits us. it wouldn't surprise me if jensen and jared stops by again or why not Nico who can hardly leave this place.

Well, Tove will right tomorrow.
Take care!
Love
Madde