I can't take this anymore..

Hello friends!

I'm still locked in somewhere! The big qustion is just where?! But I can tell you all that I have found out who the second person is who has kidnapped me and you guys at home is not going to like this! Well it's best that I start telling you about what I found out because that is what everybody want to know.

Tommy came into "my" room this morning he started to flirt with me like a crazy person, which he is. He pulled me closer and he had a strong grip around my arm so I coulden't do anything, with the other hand which was all reday under my shirt. I tryed to say no, but he diden't car he just held me even thighter. Then I thought if I don't refuse it so much then it wounden't hurt as much I thought! Before I understod what has happend he was laying on top of me in the floor we where both naked. But I was wrong about what I thought, because it hurt like hell!! It was even worse then the time I had sex for the first time, and wasen't really painless either. But this time I just if feel like I was going to die, I wasen't in the mood at all and since I'm not feeling that good either so that just made it worse. It felt like he's pressing a knife into me! I could feel the tears was on there way because of the pain. But I coulden't cry infront of him it felt like that was exacutlly what he wanted. So I held them back.

When he was done, if you know what I mean. Then the other man called at Tommy from upstarirs. I recognize the voice so much. But I couldne't really figuret it out who it was intill Tommy answer him and said he's name by mistake. Tommy said " I will be right there Sven!" Thne it hit me it that it was Sven-Åke Lindblom!!!! Then got to angry to be afrid of Tommy anymore!! I just asked Tommy or more yelled at him " Is that sven -Åke Lindblom?!!" He diden't aswer me! I just said angry" Let me talk to him now! " He got dressed and so did I. Then I yelled after Sven-Åke instead I told him to " Sven -Åke get your fucking ass down here and talk to me!! You are such a coward!! You are not even man enought to admit what you have done!! " I heard he steppes caoming down the stairs. and then he opened the door. We wher still geting dressed. Sven -Åke just asked " what the hell we had done?!" I just loooked at him angry so I think I know I hden't done it voluntary. Then he looked at Tommy and said really angry" What the fuck have you done!! Her mother is fucking going to kill us if she find us!! " I just said " Yes she will!! And she will find me just so you know!! "Since I'm not afried of Sven-Åke at all I just started to yeall at him!! " What teh fuck are you thinking with!! Let me out of her your dame idoit!! You are so death!! I hate you!! How can yo do this to me!!! " I though I was going to explode! Peculiarly when he said " You are so sexy when you are angry, just like your mother" Then I just hit him right in he's face with maybe wasen't the smartest idea because then Tommy came and hit me back, but I diden't care I was furious at them!

I was on my way to start yelling at him again but then I feelt something weird in my ears and the it feel like something started to flow down from my eras over my cheeks I took to finger to feel what it was, it was wet when I looket at the finger I saw it was blood!
Which is uselly kind of a bad sign that you have something wrong with your kindeys or liver, so not good. Sven-Åke gave me a towel so I woulden't bloody the whole room. Then they ran away and lock the door so I coulden't yell anymore.
I think I have lost a lot of blood because the whole towel is all bloody and I'm still bleding a little.
And I feel really weak and dizzy, and it hurt really bad if I touch there the liver is. But people don't freak out, I'm still alive, so Henrik baby take it easy don't freak everybody out, plz. But I would be rally glad if they found me soon because I feel this is not going to end so well if I don't get my mediction soon!! And if you find me don't freak out when you see me because I'm not that beacutiful right, not that I'm ever is but It is even worse now. I'm totally blue beaten everywhere, in my face at my arms evreywhere and I'm probably kind of bloody now too. I just want to warn you so know. And if they find me then you maybe need to call after an ambulance too, because I think I need to go to the hospital really fast to get some IV so I will get the medicin into my blood right away. But Madde you can ask Henrik what he think. Well it depends on when you find me too and if you fine me in time.. If you don't then I'm going to need a rid to the mortuary. Oh god I'm not feeling good at all now I'm startig to feel nauseous too. This is really bad! Like I said din't freak out... yet.

I just looked at my mails.I had resved one from my little brother Emil. He's so cute and I feel so sorry for him. You might as well read the mail yorself so then i don't need to explian it.
Here you go. " Hi Tove! I hope you are felling okay. I heard Madde and Henrik talking about you yesterday so listen without they knowing and Henrik told Madde that maybe you needed a new liver transplant because he diden't know if you new liver was strong enough for this and if you diden't come home soon he diden't know if you would survive this.
I'm so sorry that I diden't give you a liver strong enought for this, everything is my fauilt, I'm so sorry! Plz Tove just come home, I need you. You are my big sister and I need you in my life! I want survive witout you, I look up to you and you are the best big sister I ever can have! You are always nice, okay maybe not always but often and you always take care of me, and I know that I can always talk to you if I have some kind of trouble. And when you get home I will never fight with you again and I will never be in your way, I will just be nice.
So Tove come home now. I can live with killing my own sister! So when mum finds you you have to be alive, just have too! Okay?!
And I Love you so much sister! And I will see you soon!
Take care and stay alive!
Kisses and huges your little brother Emil! "

When I read that I coulden't keep my tears from running down my cheeks. Since I can't respond to e-mails because I thin it's blocked or something so I just have to answre here instead.
Madde I'm giving you the task to talk to Emil about this or you can ask Jensen to talk to him because he adore Jensen like you know. And tell him what I'm going write now. I have to lie alittle to him because otherwise it will just get worse I think.
Emil honey I'm feeling absloulty fine. So don't worry about me. I have to say I'm more worried about you. You can't blame yourself for me being sick. That's just the way it is unfortunelty.
And it's not your fauilt, it's not Maddes fauilt and it's not mums fauilt and it's not Jensen or Henrik fauilt and it's not my fauilt or no one else fauilt either, it just happend.
The only one we can blame right now for not having my medictions her is Sven- Åke and Tommy. So plz don't say it's your fauilt! And you have nothing to be sorry for because you diden't do anything wrong. If you just know who say I got to read this about you blaming yourself. And I will come home soon I hope, mum is good at her job and so are Pountus so I will be home soon and everything will be fine. And yes you will survive with out me because I will die someday when I'm about 80 or so and then you are still just about 60 something so then you will survive. And I'm not going to die now I have many years left, and so do you!
And trust me I'm not the best big sister you can have, I'm far from that! Yeah ofcourse you can cool guy! And Emil don't promis anything that you can't keep, I know you will fight with me again and agian and again and be a pain in the ass, but I still love you what ever you do!
And yes I will be alive! Don't worry.
Love you too kiddo!

Madde or Jensen or that person who will talk to him.
just say that I'm fine and that's it isen't he's fauilt! Because it's killing me to even think that it is he's fauilt! And Madde it aslo killing me that you are say that it's your fauilt! So don't say that because it's not true! Both you and Emil should stop saying that and if it is someone else thinking that too stop with that!! And another thing think about where you talk about me and my sickness and all this, so plz don't freak out someone else of my siblings.

As you maybe know Maddes is sleeping at Nicos place right now. Which I think is both good and bad. I'm not going to tell you what I think is bad with it not right now anyway, but i can tell you wnat I like about it. I like that Madde has someone to talk to and hang out with while I'm stuck here. So I just want to thank Nico too for taking care of her, so Thank you Nicky!
But Madde if I get home you are going to stay with me, because then I need you more then ever! So plz Madde choose me before Nico for once? Otherwise I will get really disappointed and sad at you. So think about it what's more importent, to be there for me after all this and be a person who thinks bout others or to be a selfish person who sleeps at Nicos just because it's cozy. You think about it.

Maybe I should tell you all who Sven- Åke Lindblom is. He is a really well-known in the police area and in our family. Because you all know that my mother is a cop so it happend alot here.
Sven -Åke has done alo of this from break-ins to murder attempt and he has been behind bars many times before. But he never seems to learn! And my family is often invoulved, like he stabbed my mothet in her back with a knif once, then he have done alot of break ins in our house and alot of others things.
Then the weirdest think happend my mother started to date him!! Don't aske who that happend! It just did! and he acually live with us for 6 month! Then he had stoped with all the crimes for a while but he coulden't keep away to long so thet's why it ended between them. And when he lived with us he was acutally kind of nice. So that's why I know him and not afried of him at allm just pissed off like hell!! Well know you know who he's and that's just the short story I have told you.

When you speak of the devil. I hear he's footstep coming down the starirs, so I have to hind the computer and I will write more later.
Now he have left. He gave me a new towel to stop the bleeding with.
But people at home you can expect a big fat letter tomorrow from them. Because he forced me to lay my REALLY bloody towel in a envelope and the adress was to our house so you know. And since he dosne't know that I haveing contact with you then I think he want's to scare you, but as you know I'm still alive! So it's okay, just look out for it so not the wrong person opends it like my brothers or sisters. They are freaked out enough. Sven -Åke acutally talk with me for a while. He asked why I was bleeding. Then I though maybe he still has something good inside of him so I said " That's because I have liver cancer and I haven't taken my medicins, and I'm in really bad shape right now and it's starting to get really serious if I don't take my medcins and get help before the week is over then it can end erally bad" But no he haden't any nice gene left, all he said was " Well good that's mean that they are even more worried and then I will get my money sooner" I just told him angry" You know mum is going to kill you!!" He just laught and said" No she's not, she is to chicked to do that!" I just said " well she has cahnged a lot since you knew her, so if I was you then I would be careful! " Then he just laught again an took the envelop and and walk out of the room and locked the door.
Madde don't tell her about what Sven-Åke just said about her being a chicken then she will kill him for sure! And I think it's enought for her to hear that it is Sven-Åke. So plz try to calme her down, and plz calm yourself down too.

Madde ask Henrik how I can stop teh bleeding from my ears, because it's not going so well! Or should I just wait? You can also ask him who much it's hurts to.... die from this, because I can imadgen that it's painless.. I just want to be alittle preperd. Yeah I know I'm not suppose to talk about this but I have to know. Because if I will fell this big of a diffrent from day to day then I don't know who long I can handel it..
And Madde plz keep this to yourself that I just aked this, just tell Henrik. And plz don't tell Jensen he will freak out and get angry with me for not fighting and try to convince me otherwise. I know you will to but I have no choose, you are the only one I know will for sure read this so. I just need to know.. or maybe Jensen deseves to know I don't know.. But I would be gratfull if you diden't say anything.
And Madde if I die, then you can't just give up! You need to take my role and be there for my brothers and sisters so they have someone to talk to and you have to take care of Linus too evne though I know what he did! He is still your brother, and if you don't do it for your sake then do it for me. I know you can be strong enought to do it for me! And you have to make sure that Emil dosen't feel it's he's fauilt if I die! And you need to tell everybody how much I loved them, my mother, my siblings, Linus, Jensen and alot of other people I think you know who I mean.
And I have to tell you that I take back that I said about you being the worsed thing that ever happend to me because that's not true at all. You are the best thing that ever happend to me and I love you with all my heart and soul I just want you to know that!
If I haven meet you I would probably still be a virgin and still unkissed and had probably been the biggest geek on earth, so thank you honey for finding me, you are my everything!

Well that’s all I have to say now!
Madde will write tomorrow.
Love you all!
Kisses
Tove