Worried sick!

Hey guys!

Okay I can tell you that everyone here it worried sick right now. but I will tell you more about that laster, first I need too tell you about Tim and his sister.

Tove wrote in her inlay that she has won over Tim on her side and that he hates me too. I wanted to see if that was true so I knocked on his door this morning. He opened it in a pair of boxers and I was blown away by the sight of his abs. He let me in and I sat down on his bed, he sat down infront of me in his office chair, he didn't really try to cover himself up, he just sat there in his boxers with his amazing abs... Anyway I asked him if he hated me and he said "I don't hate you Madde, I wouldn't be able too but I have to say that you did hurt me." I said "I know I did and I'm sorry. But you must understand that the fact that I don't have the same feelings for you that you have for me doesn't mean I don't love and care about you. I care about you so much and I hate to see you hurt but you have to understand that we can never be." He just sat there, looking down on the floor, nodding. I felt my heart breaking and couldn't bare sitting there watching him suffer. I kneeled infront of him and put my hands on his hands and looked into his eyes and said "Don't ever doubt that I care about you Tim, and that night we had together was great and I feel closer to you than I did before but I'm not in love with you." what he replayed was "I know, it was pretty good huh?, I know, you're in love with Nico so..." I didn't know what to answer to that but said "yes it was pretty good. Yes I'm in love with Nicky but if you know me then you know I can be in love with several guys at once but I'm sorry, I don't have those feelings for you.". He said he understood and that he knew nothing would happen between us. I'm glad he understands and isn't to o heart broken about it.

As you know Tove was going to Henrik last night, but around 2.00 I got a call from him and he asked if Tove was still home. I just told him that she had left aorund 22.00 and that she said she was going over to him. He said "Yeah I know, she was supposed to be here at eleven but she hasn't turned up here yet and I'm starting to worry." I told him about mine and Toves fight and that she was in the park at twelve because she had been blogging then and that she wrote she was going to Henrik after twelve.

So when I was done talking with Tim i went to the policestation because Krisen was at work and I had just missed her when she went to work this morning. I asked if Kirsen was there and then I heard a familiar voice and saw a very sexy man walking towards me talking to a coworker. I just smiled and waited for him to notice me and then when he looked up for once our eyes met and he just stopped. I couldn't help but laugh because he looked so funny and then he just came over to me and gave me a huge hug. Then Pontus asked me what i was doing there and I told him that I needed to find Krisen and that it was pretty urgent. He took me by the hand and lead me to Krisen and told me to tell them what was going on. I told them everything about mine and Toves fight last night and that she was suppose to go to Henrik but she never got there and now no one can reach her. As you know you have to wait 24 hours before you can report a person as missing but Krisen doesn't care about that when it comes to her daughter so she told me to go home and try to get a hold of Tove while she and Pontus would walk around the city central to see if someone has seen tove. Before i left Pontus gave me a hug and said that everything was going to be fine and that Tove would be home in notime. I had forgotten how sweet he can be...

When I got home I found Jared and Nicky sitting in the kitchen talking. I didn't have time to stop because I had to make an urgent phonecall but apparently that got Nico worried so when I was sitting in the living room dialing he walked through the door and asked "Honey, what's wrong?" I just told him that i would tell him soon but that i had to make a phone call. He got the message and left and closed the door behind him. After a few tones Jensen finally picked up and I told him the news about Tove being missing. He said that he would catch the next flight to Sweden and that he would be here tomorrow. We hung up and I went back to the kitchen to tell Nico and Jared. When I walked in Nico got up at once and gave me a hug, I love his hugs and at that point I was in desperate need of a Nico-hug. He didn't let me go but asked what had happened, i didn't let go either but told both him and Jared that Tove was missing. Nickys grip around me tightened and he pressed his lips on my hair. He said that everything would be fine and that Tove would come home soon. when we sat down again Jared asked if me and Tove was still fighting but I just said "well we had a big fight last night but she is missing and I miss her!! I'm worried, what if something has happened!!! What if she is lying in a ditch somewhere, raped and halfdead!!!" I didn't know I was crying until I said the last word and I finally understood what might had happened to her. Nicky hugged me the best he could from his chair and the tears just fell down my cheeks faster and faster. I just felt really stupid sitting in the kitchen crying so I got up and went to my room, as you can imagine Nicky was really worried so he didn't really stay down in the kitchen with Jared. No, he followed me and laid down beside me and put his arms around me. I wished I could have lied there all day but I knew I couldn't.

I told Linus about the news as well and he got really worried and then he started to yell at me. he said "It's all your fault!!! I heard you two fighting last night and you said she was slef obssesed and don't let anyone in!! I hate you!!" I didn't know what to say. he just said the same thing I was feeling and once again the tears started to roll down my cheeks. Linus just looked at me and said "Yeah that's right, it's all your fault and you should be sorry! What if she is dead or raped or kidnapped!" I couldn't take his words or his accusing eyes so I slowly walked out of the room and went outside to the backyard to think. I sat down and let the warm sun dry the tears on my face, i then heard a voice saying it's not my fault and that Linus was just worried and didn't know how to handle everything. I looked up and saw Lukas standing infront of me, he gave me a smile and sat down at my feet. we talked for a while and I felt a little better after that but i'm still very worried about Tove. When me and Lukas was sitting there talking Johan peeked in and asked if everything was okay and if Krisen was home. I told him what was going on and that Krisen was working with the finding of Tove. He said that if we needed anything he was right there and that he wouldn't leave the house until Tove was home safe and sound. I'm glad Johan is here, he is a very calm person and makes the people around him calm. I don't know how he does it but in someway it workes really well on me.

Oh God this ust have been the most boring, depressive, worrying inlay ever and I don't really know what else to write. I'm too worried to write anything more, I think I'm going to go to Nicky now... I can't stay here although Tove ain't here because I need Nico now when she is gone and he can't leave the kids so I suppose I have to go to him...


But Tove if you read this, come home!! call us or show us in some other way where you are and that you are fine!!! we are worried sick!!

Take care
Love
Madde