Jensen!

Hello!

Everybody say it's a woundreful weather outside, warm and sun just liek summer. And here we are laying all day inside! I want to go out and lay in the sun. But no I'm stuck here!

Well like I told you in my last inlay that Emil was coming by. He looked really scared when he walked into our room. When he saw me he just ran towards me and throw himself at me on the bed and huged me, then he started to cry. He just layed there for a few minuts and huged me and cried. So I think he bought that I was okay, or pretended to be.
When he had huged me he walked over to Maddes bed and huged her too then he started to cry again. And Madde hate when people cries around her because that just make her cry. I think she is the most emotional person I know. But it's sweeit.
When those to crybabys was done with all the crying we turned on the tv. Emil came and lay on my bed and he's head on my cheat. When we had watched tv for a while he said " I can hear your heart beating" I said " Yeah it would be bad if it diden't, right? " He just said " Yeah really bad. I'm glad that you are alive and that you are doing fine. Because you are okay right?"
I just looked at Madde because I needed help what I would say, but she just looked worried. So I just said " Ofcourse I'm doing fine, I told you that" He just said " yes" Then I chanced the subject beacuse I hate to lie to him, but I have to tell him that I need a new liver soon. I asked how he was doing with he's girlfriend. He got all red and sky and said " it's good" Then he diden't wnat to talk anymore about that. When he had been a hour or so with us. Then I got more and more pain and I just wanted to lay down and sleep. Madde saw that I looked tierd and exusted so she said to emil that it started to get dark outside and that he maybe should go home, and since he's so afried of the dark he agreed, he gave us a hug and said that he would be back soon. Before he walked outside the door I just siad " Love you kiddo" He just smiled and walked throw the door.

Then I thanked Madde for noticeing how I was feeling. Then I tried to sleep for a few hour befoer Jensen should show up. But I can still not sleep. Or I can sleep but I just dream nightmares.. which I hate. And I think I'm starting to scare Madde too, because I never sleep. And I kind of keeping her up at night to, so sorry for that honey.
Maybe you want to know what Jensen had planed, that madde thought was to good to tell you.

When the clock was about nine at night a woman came into our room with a enormous present. She gave it to me and walked out again without saying anyghing. I just looked at Madde confused and she looked all chocked too. But then she started to

shout that I should open it. So I did, it was a beautiful box and inside it, it was the most amzing red dress I ever seen and a par of black pumps. And I found a note too. Where it stood that I should get dressed and be done in 30 minuts.

I was just confused so Madde was more exsited that I was about this. She was at my bed as fast as I could blink then she started to help me undress me, and when the dress was on she helped me with the hair and the make up. After 30 minuts it knocked on the door and Jared came into the room with a wheelchair. He just stoped when he saw me and just said " You look amzing!" I just said " Thanks, what is all this?" He said " You will soon find out, sit down here plz " I heisted then Madde just pushed me down in the wheelchair, then Jared just told Madde that he would be back, then he walked away with me to the elevators then he pushed one buttom and the elevator rid was kind od long, I was still really confused. When we got out of the elevator the floor was fild with rose blades, then Jared told me to stay here then he left.

Infront of me it was a glasdoor and that was all I could see because it was dark.
But then I heard that voice I love and Jensen walked out from the dark. He was dressed in a black suit and he had a red tie he looked so handsome.
He sai dthat I looked beautiful. Then I asked " what is all this, the dress, the roses blades and everything? Is it date? " Then he bend down on knee infront of me, it looked like he was going to propose but since he know me he also know what I think about marriage. But he did ask me something anyway" Tove do you want to go on a first date with me? " I just smiled and noded and then I lean towards him and try to give him a kiss, but he just pulled he's head away and said " We can't kiss now, it's our first date. The kiss is going to happend with the door when I drop you of, remebere" I just smiled at him and said okay. Then he said " let's go " Then I got all confused again, it's a small room. " Go where? it's just walles" He laught and said " don't you see the door?" I was like yeah yeah.

Then he walked around me to run the wheelchair, but I stoped him and said " I don't want to be in a wheel chair on our second first date, plz just help me walk instead?" He walked to me and helpd me up from the chair and then he layed my arm he's neack so I could take help from me, he was acutally walking for me almost anyway, he almost held my whole weight, becaise I waen't strong enought to walk.
We walked throw the door on teh rose blades.

When we had walked throw the door we was outside. Then I recognize where we was. We wher up on the helicopter board. In the middel it was a red carpet with a table with food and candls, it was perfect. And the shy dark blue and ful of stars, it was beautiful! Jensen pulled out the chair for me and helped me to sit down and then he satt down infront of me. We eat and talked. I asked how he had fixed all this. He said " I was lucky that the chef for this hospital was a woman so I flirted a little, and here we are " I just laught and said " ofcourse you did. You think you are so sexy" He laught and said " Yeah ofcourse I'm, I got you diden't I " I said " Well thanks for making me sound so shallow" He laught again and said " well you are" I just aid " No I'm not!"

Then my stomach started to hurt lik ehell all the sudden, it felt like someone hit me with a knife. And ofcourse Jense saw that and got worried and said " I'm sorry, I really thought all this was a good idea that you needed this, I'm soory. We will go down now so you can rest and sleep. Come on!" I said " Take it easy, I'm fine, it's just hurt alittle. and this is a great idea exautlly what I need, and I will never leave this, I want stay here all night long, and btw I can't even sleep" He still looked wooried and said " are you sure?" I just smiled and nooded.
Then he stood up and helped me up and put my both armes around he's neck and started to dance with me. He smelled so good! Since we diden't ahve any music he started to sing himself, but he wasen't that serious, I just started to laugh so much. But it hurt's so much to laugh, so I said " You ahve to be boring and not make me laugh" He just said " okay " But after a a few second of dancing we started to laugh again, and it hurt like hell but the pain was worse it.
Then he stoped dancing and moved my chair from the big red carpet and sat me down on it.
Then he starting to move the table from the carpet and he's chair too. I was so confused agian and asked what he was doing but he diden't answer.

Then gave me he's jacket and layied in on my shoulders and yhen he lift me up in he's strong armes and layed my down on teh soft carpet and then he layed down next to me with he's arm under my head.
There we layied looking at the stars, it was so cozy. I told him that this date had been amazing. Then he said" this date have just started, I have something to ask you" Then I got all scared that he was going to ask me to marry him and all that things, I dien't wnat to disapooint him agian andn I could see all the scenarios what would happend and who he would hate me and things like that. He satt himslef up on the carpet and I did the same thing. He looked me into the eyes and I was so sure that
he would ask me if I wanted him as my husband. And then he sia d" Tove do you want me as your donater?" I diden't undertsand what he said I was like reall confused and siad " What? what did you say? If I want you as my husband? donare? what" He just looked confused at me and said " I said do you want a piece of my liver? I have taken all the tests and we are a match, not 100 % but 98 and that's enough, so what do you say" Now I understand what he had asked me and I diden't know what to say I was so chocked Then I said " are you sure?" He said " yeah all the blodtest was okay and... " I just interrupt him and said " no, I mean are you sure about this operation thing?" I think I still sounded really really chocked because that was how I felt, then he said" Ofcourse I'm sure Tove. I would give you my heart if you needed a heart. I'm sure" I could feel the tears running down my cheeks and throw myself around he's neck and huged him and yell yes. He laught alittle and I said " Look I'm crying I'm not so damn strong now, like you alsways comlpining about" He laughat agian and said " yes you are you are almost stangel me with your hug" I just let go and siad sorry.

Then he pulled me back down on the carpet again and dryde my tears away. Then I said " I don't want you do risk your life for me" He said " well i don't want you do die, so my is way bigger then your argument so I win so you ahve nothing to say about this" Then we just laied there looking att yeh stars. I just said " I want to stay here the whole night and ever night after that too" Jensen said " yeah but unfortunly we can just stay here intill four a clock if we don't want to be killed by a helicopter" I just said " well we can stay for tree more hours and that's better then nothing anyway. " He took my hand in his and it was just wonderful. We just layed there and talked a little, I keeped myself awke so I woulden't miss anything and I diden't want to dream nightmares either.
But when we had to go downstairs again he helped me out the the wheelchair and drov me down to my and Maddes room. It was so quit and empty in the hall, he stoped outside the door, and helped me up from teh chair. Then he siad " You do really look beautiful" I just smiled then he lead closer to me and give me a real kiss, it was amzing , I could feel my blood rushing throw my body and my heart was pumping faster and faster, when we ended the kiss, he siad " I had a really wounderful night" I said " Thank you, it was amzing, really amzing" Then he lifed me up and walked inside the room, Madde was a sleep, I thought anyway, Jensen layied me down in my bed and asked if he should help me to get out from of the dress. I said " First date remebere, then you are not suppose to see me naked, so I will be fine" he wisperd " yeah right" Then he kissed me good night and walked out og our room.

Then Madde "woke up" and I had to tell her everything. She started to cry to when I told her about the liver, but happy tears. But I told her that it would take a while before the opartion because i need streang for it. She helped me to get undressed and she was so happy. I have never seen her this happy for along while now. I don't know if she is most happy about the liver or just me and jensen. I think she is the person who is most exalated that me and Jensen are get closer again. I think that's just because she have some idea that we are meant for each other, but I don't know, we just have to see. And apprently Jared had stayed here for a few hours with Madde untill a nurse came and said that he had to leave. It's weird that she diden't tell you about that yesterday. But thay had just talked and snuggled. :)

It's crazy how much I have told you all reday and it's almost just about the date and I still haven't talked about today, so it best I start doing that. I haven't done that much today more then haning out with Madde, Jensen and Jared.

Well I have acutally talked to Henrik too. Madde told me yesterday why she diden't like Henrik. That's because she had seen him making out with a other girl for two weeks ago.
I asked him about it and he told me how soory he is and all that and he promised me that it was nothing more then a kiss. I acutally belived that he regreted it, because he sounded so honest and sad. Then I told him that I still ahve feelings for him and I can't just let that go with out giving him a second chance and see what happends. Then I told him about Jensen and who it was between us. Then I said " but you ahve to promis not to have sex with someone! I can angee to kisses, because I'm kissing Jensen, but if you really like then don't do it!" He just said " I promised"

Well in Maddes inlay from yesterday she wroth that she wanted to know what I was thinking when she was talking to pontus. So I told her that I would tell her that if she told me what Jared and her was talking about the outeday when me and Jensen was kissing.
Madde I was thinking that you and Pontus looked so cute togehter and that you two looked like you just wanted to throw yourself over each other and I also thought that I you two will have sex soon and maybe more ;) hehe So now it's your turn ;) So tomorrow she will tell you what Jared and Madde was thinking and saying ;) haha

Nico came over this morning and he stayed for a couple of hours and they talk and talked and talked like always. But he coulden't stay so long because David had gotten sick over night with high fever and other things so he had to go home and take care of him, but he promised her that he would call her tonight. So Madde was kind of sad for that.
Well Nico and he's kids are travling to China in 8 days to stay for two weeks, so then I have to take care of her instead from her can be diffecult, but she have Jared and pontus, so that's good, but I know she will miss him like hell, but she just have to get throw it and she will like call him 80 times a day!
After lunch Jensen and Jared came by. Jensen layed himself down in my bed and Jared sat down on Maddes bed. We started to talk all four of us. It's so nice to have Jensen there, he strok my back with he's hand, but then all the sudden he's hand had find he's way under my shirt. I just asked what he was doing. He said " I just want to feel your skin to my hand" Then I laught and said " You know I can't have sex right now" He just said I know. Then I said " good" Maded and Jared was just lauging at our converstion. Then Jense said " Can you blame me for touching you, do you know who long it have been since I have had sex?! I haven't haad sex since we broke up and that's is 11 weeks ago and 5 days ago, which is 49 days ago! And we diden't have sex before that either because you where sick, so it wouden't suprise me if it's more then 60 weeks since I had sex! Can you blame me for being desperate?!" Madde and Jared was laughting themself to death for this, I started to laugh too, but Jensen was so serious about this, and told us to stop laughing, I really tryed to get it togheter but those other two coulden't stop. I was still laughing alittle and said " touch me then. Just so you know I haven't shower for 3 days or so, so I'm not really that freash in anyway" Then Jensen said " I don't care, but I just have to ask, why haven't you showerd in 3 days?" I said " because I don't have the strength to stand up for that long, so It just feels hard and I don't wnat to sit down and shower because then I will feel liek I'm 80 years old!" Then Jared laught again and said " maybe you should ask Jensen to help you shower, because I think he needs to see a woman naked, he sounds so desperate" ;) Then he laught even more again and Madde too.
Jensen just took the pillow and throw it at Jared but he just contiune lauging, I answerd to he's " qustion" and said " We just have to see about that, want we " ;)

Then Jensen asked about our date and said " did you think I asked if you wnated to marry me, when I asked about the transplant?" I laught and said " yeah " Then he laught to and asked " did you really think I would propose on the first date? and second of all do you really think I would propose to you at all when I know you would say no?" I said " well I don't know what you do on first dates and second of all how usual is it to ask someone if they what a body part from you" Then he said " I always ask every woman I date if she wants my liver, so you don't have to feel speciel" Then he kissed me on the lips and then all four of us started to talk about sex and things like the weirdest place we had have sex on and if we where good in bed and much other things. I think we laught and laught. ;P

So the main subject was sex.

Jensen started to strok my thigh, then just looked. So did Madde and Jared. Madde said " Jensen who desperate are you?" Then she laught, but he just said " that's the right person talking" Then I said " How horny are you? Just because I can't have sex doseen't mean that I can't help you?" ;)

Jared just looked at me with big eyes and said " what have happedn to you under those weeks we haven't been here! You have become a sex maniac, sex on beaches, benches, bathrooms and then you are saying this?! Are you sure that they haven't done something to you here?!" He looked so chocked, Then Madde just said " we have been wondering the samething" When we had talked and laught alot then they went out to get some coffie.

When they where gone Maddes disgusting docters came by. He asked who she was doing and then he asked her to take of her shirt, I could see that Madde hated this. The examan it feel like he took longer time to examen her that he needed, just because he wanted to touch her. While he was touching her. But Then Jensen came back because Jared was out side talking to some one in teh phone. Jensen looked at Madde and saw how she hated it, so he just walked staright over and said " Hey honey, I'm back. Have you missed me sweeit pie?" Then he gave her a kiss on the cheek. I just looked at him like he was crazy, but I know that he just wanted to help her but he sound so funny. Then Dr. Romano asked with he's italino accent " Are you to a couple?" Madde just said " YES!" And took Jensens hand. Then Dr.Romano just turned around and walked throw the door, and all three of us was just lauhing like crazy! ;P Then Jared came in and looked at us like we where crazy and aksed what he had missed, so we just told him. :P

Well that's all that have happedn to day, and I know this inlay was almost evreything about Jensen. But I think he desrved it since he saving my life, that's kind of romantic I think and scary at the same time. But anyway you will hear from Madde tomorrow.

Have a nice evening!

Peace out!

Tove